My name is Lizzie Raine. I am a multishipper and a lover of all things Leverage. I write fanfiction for several fandoms and currently, I'm more active on my Star Wars side blog (@eyayah-oya). You can find me on Ao3 as particularlygeeky, with the psueds Lizzie Raine and eyayah-oya.
This is basically a blog to just mess around in numerous fandoms. If you follow me, you are cursed to deal with whatever hyperfixation I am currently hyper-fixating on. Youāre welcome.
I do write on occasion, though I am not taking requests. I will let you know if I ever do open requests.
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What Happens in Gotham, Stays in Gotham (Part one of Teardrops Like Rain)
Bruce
It was a rare, sunny day in Gotham. The trees and flowers were in full bloom, the sweet perfumes masking the constant smell of pollution that seemed to permeate the entire area near Gotham City. But in the large, sloping landscapes surrounding Wayne Manor, the Japanese cherry treeās blossoms spread their sweet fragrance along with their petals. A slight breeze stirred the pink petals as they fell, landing on the shoulders of Bruce Wayne.
The Japanese cherry had been planted on a hill decades ago as a wedding present from Thomas Wayne to his new wife Martha. On one side, the hill overlooked the Manor and all its inhabitants. On the other, the family graveyard lay peacefully nestled at the base of the hill. Alfred commissioned a wrap-around bench to be built around the beautiful tree, allowing a person to sit and admire the view from any direction.
Bruce leaned against the back of the bench, staring down at his hands. A single, whole blossom was cradled between the calloused fingers, more used to breaking bone than handling delicate plants. Below, the family graveyard peacefully slumbered beneath the soft blanket of pink.
It was a peace-filled, gentle day. The kind that spoke of hope and laughter and joy.
Bruce resented it all.
His son was gone. Another son had died, and the world still turned and the sun still rose and set each day. But Bruceās world had come to a stop. He couldnāt allow himself to forget the bright-eyed young man that had forced his way into his life and his heart. Tim Drake deserved to be remembered, and Bruce refused to let any memories of him die.
Tim loved the tree. He would come out all the time and plant flowers on the hill or take pictures of the blossoms. āA bit of peace within the chaos of Gotham,ā Tim used to say whenever he would come out.
Spring was his favorite time of year.
When the sun peeked out from behind the clouds and the smog cleared away that morning, Alfred, who had only come back to Gotham a week prior, had marched into Bruceās bedroom and informed him that he would be spending the morning outside, enjoying the weather.
āMaster Timothy would not want you to waste away, driving yourself to the grave with how much work youāve taken on. Do not waste this beautiful day we have been given,ā Alfred said as he practically shoved Bruce out the door and locked it behind him.
Which is how Bruce found himself wandering over to the Japanese Cherry tree to sit and remember his son and the beautiful light he had in his heart.
āAlfred said Iād find you out here.ā
Bruce looked up and saw Dick standing in front of him. Immediately, he took in the deep eyebags, the loose skinny jeans, the slump of his shoulders. Dick was exhausted and it showed.
āHow are you holding up?ā Dick asked, coming closer and taking a seat next to Bruce.
He grunted.
How can I be okay? My son is gone. My Tim is gone. I canāt get him back.
āThat bad, huh? Alfred also said youāve been working almost non-stop on cases or at WE. Youāve barely been home or interacted with anyone since he came home.ā
Another grunt.
Dick sighed heavily. āBruce, you canāt do this. Damian needs you. Jason needs you. You canāt forget your other children right now. Theyāre struggling, too, and they need you to be there for them.ā
āI canāt, Dick. I donāt know how to help them. I donāt know how to help myself. I donāt know if I even want to help myself. What if I forget him?ā Bruce took a deep breath, carefully setting the blossom on the bench on his other side. Maybe he could press it and preserve it somewhere.
āBruce, you wonāt forget him. Thatās not how healing works.ā Bruce could feel Dickās heavy, full-bodied sigh. āThatās not how grieving works, either. We mourn, we hurt, and we heal. Over time, when we think of Tim, our first thought wonāt be that heās gone, but it will be memories of his life with us. Weāll laugh and cry and remember him because thatās what grief is. I donāt think you ever let yourself heal from your parentsā deaths or from Jayās. And with Damian, you didnāt let him stay dead long enough for it to really sink in for you. Tim doesnāt need you to spiral and shut yourself off from everyone else. He would want you to be happy.ā
āHow do you know?ā Bruce whispered. āHow do you know what he would want? Heās gone.ā
Heās gone and heās not coming back.
āThink about the Tim you knew, B,ā Dick answered. āYou know what he would have wanted. He was there for you during one of the darkest times in your life. He knows what you are like when youāre grieving a son. He did everything he could to help you heal and move on. So yes, I know what he would have wanted and so do you.ā
Dick stood up, and Bruce glanced at his oldest out of the corner of his eye. He wanted to ask him to stay. He wanted to ask him to leave. He didnāt know what he wanted. He didnāt know what he needed.
āI think youāre ready,ā Dick said softly, and Bruce looked up at him. Once again, he was struck with how exhausted Dick looked. It was easy to read the grief in his body, from the way his shoulders slumped to the slight red tint in his eyes. Dick lost another brother and wasnāt there. Just like Bruce lost another son. He wasnāt the only one hurting, but it was really hard to remember that at times. It was nice to be reminded that more people loved Tim and were mourning his death just like he was.
āReady for what?ā Bruce asked carefully, his voice hoarse and gravelly.
āTim wanted you to have something, but I was only supposed to give it to you when you really needed it most. When you were ready for it.ā Dick pulled out a small envelope from inside his jacket and placed it on the bench next to the blossom. āI think you need to read what he has to say.ā He shifted his weight from foot to foot for a moment, much like he used to do as a child when he wanted to ask for a hug but didnāt want to interrupt.
āCome here, chum,ā Bruce said softly, opening his arms and within seconds, he had his arms full of his oldest son. āIām sorry. Iāll try to be better. Iāll try to help with Damian and Jason. You deserve to let yourself grieve, too.ā
Dick trembled and sniffled, clinging desperately to his shoulders for several long moments before he eventually pulled back. Bruce let him, his heart heavy with grief and love and regret and a hundred other emotions he didnāt know what to do with or how to express. That was always his biggest flaw. He never knew how to tell his kids what he was feeling, and it always ended up hurting them, emotionally and even physically at times. (He could never forget that it was the fight between Jason and Bruce that drove his son to run away and try to find his birth mother. It was Bruceās fault his son had died.)
āRead the letter, Bruce. Iām going to go spend the afternoon with Wally and Barbara,ā Dick said, running a hand through his hair. āAnd when youāre done, maybe go spend some time with Damian. He wants to learn who Tim was and you have more stories about him than any of us besides Alfred.ā
And then Dick was gone, walking back towards the Manor.
Bruce stared at the letter with the same trepidation he would feel facing down a ticking bomb. Time was elusive the longer he sat and stared, terrified of what words his son decided to say to him. His last words. For all the people Bruce has lost in his life, heās never had anything beyond screams and terrified cries as final words. But this was different in a way that Bruce didnāt have the words to describe. He would know what Tim was thinking as he died. What he thought of Bruce in his last few days. And that was knowledge he wasnāt sure he could handle without breaking.
A blossom floated down on the soft breeze to land on the envelope as if it was attempting to cajole him into picking up the letter and reading it. With shaking hands, Bruce reached out and brushed the blossom off the letter and picked it up. His own name was written in Timās scratchy, messy handwriting that he always got when his boyās head was too full for his hand to keep up with. A fortifying breath braced him for the next few minutes, and Bruce opened the letter.
Hey Bruce,
First, and most importantly, I love you. You were one of the best things that ever happened to me, and I am so glad that I got to be a part of your life. I loved being your Robin and I miss the good olā days when we would patrol together and stop bad guys. We were a scary good duo, and I miss it. I miss you.
I miss you, too, Tim. I miss my son. Bruce sniffled, already feeling the building ache of tears in the back of his throat.
Second, MY DEATH IS NOT YOUR FAULT!!! SO STOP BROODING!!!! I know you and I know that you are probably blaming yourself and swimming in guilt as you brood and throw yourself into being Batman. Because Batman doesnāt have emotions like Bruce does. Itās okay to lose yourself in work every once in a while, but you CANNOT lose yourself entirely again. Damian and Jason have never seen you like that, let alone Cass, Stephanie, the Foxes, Duke, and the rest of the extended Batfam (when did we get so many people??? I remember when it was less than a handful of us!). You canāt forget them in your grief. And you canāt forget Dick, Alfred, and Babs either, because theyāre hurting just as much and shouldnāt have to focus on trying to keep you from going down the same path you did after Jasonās death.
Bruce grunted. His fingers twitched at the scolding words from Tim, knowing he was spot on. He had forgotten the others in the wake of his grief, which he had already realized thanks to Dick coming and talking to him. He needed to be better for all of his children. And maybe, just maybe, he needed to be better for himself, too.
Now that Iām done scolding you, I need to apologize.
āWhat for?ā Bruce muttered. If anyone needed to apologize, it was him and not Tim. Especially not after everything that Tim has done for him over the years. Tim never needed to apologize to him. Bruce frowned and returned to the letter, going back a littleāa habit retained from Alfred reading to him as a child.
Now that Iām done scolding you, I need to apologize. I allowed my own hurt and angst to drive my actions and I distanced myself from you and the rest of the family. I was angry and hurt and I took it out on you when I shouldnāt have. I didnāt even tell you about my cancer! How messed up is that? And by the time Iād accepted everything and wasnāt angry anymore, I was too much of a coward to call you. I asked Alfred and Cass to not call you, even though you deserved to hear about my cancer from me. Iām sorry for that. More sorry than words on a piece of paper could ever express and I wish I could go back in time to smack myself and call you as soon as I realized something wasnāt right. Hell, I would go back and tell you that I got into Stanford and wanted to pursue a degree instead of being a vigilante. Instead, I only have a few days left and itās too late now. Itās taken me four hours to write this much and I can barely talk, let alone call you. Still, Iāll try to have Cass call you and bring you here before Iām gone.
I have so many regrets, Bruce and Iām so sorry.
Bruce curled over the thin piece of paper, tucking it to his chest to protect it, and wept. He cried for the beautiful, bright boy that he loved and missed like a missing limb. More than a missing limb. He cried for the years they had together and the years they wouldnāt have. He cried for himself and the loss of another son. He cried for Tim and for the hurt heād caused and the pain his son had experienced in the last months of his life.
There were far too many regrets in Bruceās life and he understood Tim far too well. Heād always have those regrets, those āwhat-ifsā that would plague him.
Once heād exhausted himself, Bruce blinked the tears from his eyes and wiped his cheeks with the collar of his old t-shirt. Then he looked over the letter to find his place again.
I have so many regrets, Bruce and Iām so sorry.
Thatās why I donāt want you to have any more regrets than you already do. (I know you have a lot because weāre far too similar and there are way too many things youāve experienced over your life to not have any at this point.) Thatās why Iām gonna be your life coach from beyond the grave. You can call me Inspirational Zombie (Jason would love that joke lol). Here are some things I want you to do regularly. Because even if Iām gone, I still canāt help but want to help put you back together. Iām Robin. Itās what I do.
Bruce couldnāt help the chuckle that escaped, weak and thin as it was. Tim always knew how to help him, and honestly, he wasnāt surprised at all that he was trying to micromanage a grieving Bruce even after everything. Even if he couldnāt do it in person anymore.
I love my son. More than I can ever express. And this is such a Tim move to make.
Itās what I do.
Tell Alfred you love him and appreciate everything heās done for you.
a. That man is a lifesaver and a god among mortals. We need to appreciate him all the time, but he also deserves to hear that we appreciate him. Especially since youāre his son!
That wasnāt a bad idea at all. Even if it was hard to get the courage to try to verbalize his feelings, Bruce knew it was something he needed to do. Heād known for years. Maybe Timās list would give him the motivation he needed to actually follow through for once.
2. Give Dick a hug and maybe let him nap or cuddle with you.
a. He needs the rest, I know he does. But he also needs the reassurance that you love him.
b. Also tell him you love him! Words may not be able to express the depth of your feelings, but not saying anything is WAY WORSE BRUCE!
c. Also also, offer to adopt him again. Heās technically just your ward and thereās no legal tie between the two of you beyond the fact that you raised him. I know he denied you once when he was a grieving child, but try again. He needs it.
Dick had always needed a bit more affection from him than Jason or Damian. Especially physical contact. And looking back at the way heād originally asked a young Dick if he wanted Bruce to adopt him, maybe he had gotten the timing wrong. Dick had been his ward for three months at the time and was still too angry and upset about the loss of his parents to want to think about being adopted. Bruce winced slightly and decided that he would ask again in a few months. It would give them all time to heal.
3. Check on Jason. Reassure him that he has a place with the family. Reach out and try to spend time with him outside of vigilante work.
a. He needs you, even if he wonāt admit it. You and Jason were really close once, and I know you can be just as close again, maybe even closer since youāve gone through so many things together.
Bruce was starting to see a trend with the list. Step-by-step instructions on how to bond with his family and bridge the gaps that Bruce had left between him and some of his children or pseudo-children. But he couldnāt deny that Timās plan would likely be extremely effective. Tim always was weirdly good at examining each of them and finding their weaknesses and strengths. It was the detective in him that was scarily accurate and dangerous to be on the wrong side of. And Bruce desperately wanted to get closer with Jay again.
4. Spend time with Damian and give him affection!
a. That child was neglected and abused for way too long and despite how tough he acts, he needs affection as much as Dick does, if not more. Spend time with him, get to know his pets, friends, and hobbies. Be present in his life.
As with the others, this was another good idea. Dick had also told Bruce to go find Damian later and to spend time with his youngest. If two of his sons were agreeing with each other unknowingly, he knew it had to be a good idea.
5. Give Cass a hug. As often as you can.
a. Youāre pretty good with Cass anyway, cause she can read you better than anyone else and doesnāt need to hear the words when she can see how much you love her. Granted, anyone can see how much you love Cass, so itās not that hard.
Bruce smiled at the small compliment directed to him. No matter how much Tim might criticize someone, he only ever offered up constructive criticism and sprinkled in compliments to point out what they were doing well. It was nice to see that there was one child he hadnāt messed up with at some point. Cassandra was incredible, as always, and he loved his daughter dearly.
6. Teach Duke and offer him guidance. Tell him how proud you are of him!
a. Heās still learning and has a different job than the rest of us, so heās gonna struggle without as much backup. Be patient and offer help whenever he needs it. Always make sure he knows he has a place in the family.
Duke was an incredible addition to their family, and Bruce was so glad that heād stumbled into their lives. Even though Duke had an uncle, Bruce considered him one of his own, and was proud of all the young man had accomplished both as a vigilante and a person. Bruce knew he needed to be better at acknowledging the good work Duke had done in Gotham.
7. Buy Steph food and listen to her rant
a. Honestly, anything else you might try to bond with her will just result in her being extra sassy. But start that way and youāll form your own bond with her. DONāT TRY TO FIX HER PROBLEMS!!! She can handle herself and will just get pissy if you try to fix everything for her. Just listen and take her out for ice cream or pizza.
Bruce snorted. He was well aware how sassy Stephanie could be, and he wouldnāt have her any other way, no matter how annoying she could get. But if anyone knew how to get on Stephanieās good side, it was her ex-boyfriend-turned-best-friend-turned-strangers-turned-friends. Honestly, Bruce could never quite understand how their dynamic worked, but they were happy towards the end. He should check on her and see how she was handling Timās death.
8. Be welcoming to the new kids. Give them extra training. Praise them when they do well!
This was one he agreed with, even if it would be difficult to carve out time to do. But heād managed to train Dick with no one to back him up, so theoretically, it should be easier now that he had a whole clan of bats to patrol Gotham. Bruce didnāt want Luke, Harper, Cullen, and even Damianās friend Colin to get injured or killed as a vigilante. There was enough death in Gotham and enough death in the family.
9. GO TO THERAPY!!!
a. Honestly, we should have forced you to go ages ago, but now is better than never I guess. Not all therapists are evil, just look at Dinah! In fact, go talk to Dinah!
Well, this was an ongoing threat that his kids had used for years or suggested off-handedly, even though Bruce knew that all of his children could benefit from therapy as well. Heād just never been at a point where he could possibly trust someone else with his emotions. If he couldnāt trust himself with his own emotions, how was he supposed to trust a stranger? And that was completely disregarding all the therapists Bruce knew of that had turned to villainy. Harley Quinn was a prime example, though honestly, with how much sheād changed after she got away from Joker and started dating Ivy, Bruce wouldnāt mind getting advice from her here and there.
Maybe it was time for him to actually follow through for once. Maybe. In a couple of months, heād give it a try.
10. Learn to be happy.
a. Itāll take a long time and youāll have a lot of hang-ups, but I know you will be happy someday if you just let yourself take those steps. Grieve, heal, and then have the courage to take those steps.
Possibly the most difficult task of them all. Bruce frowned at the letter. Tim knew him possibly better than any of his other children. He knew how difficult this task would be and he knew it would take Bruce a long time to come anywhere close to completing it. Honestly, the happiest Bruce had ever felt was being surrounded by his family, all of them happy and cheerful. Yet even then, it wasnāt true happiness, not the kind that warmed up his soul. Even at what was arguably his peak, with Jason as his Robin, Bruce had struggled, fighting constantly with Dick and arguing with Jason when he knew Jason was different.
Bruce doubted he could ever be truly happy. Not with Tim gone and unable to come back. Tim was such a huge part of his life, and now he was gone, never to solve cases or ramble on about science at Bruceās side again. How can he be happy without his son?
Thereās your ten-step list to bringing the family closer together and to have a happy life, and I hope you follow these steps, Bruce. I hope youāll listen to me and will let yourself heal this time. Heal from your parentsā deaths, heal from Jasonās, heal from mine. Itās okay. Youāll be okay. And someday, youāll be happy too.
Overall, if this is the direction Tim wanted to turn his focus towards, Bruce could think of a few other things he could add to Timās list. Such as appreciating Barbara and all she had done for the family over the years, reconnecting with Selena, though he knew they were never going to be romantically involved again, spending more time with Clark and Diana, and even reaching out to Jim more often.
He could do it. He would do it, no matter how difficult it was.
And someday, youāll be happy too.
Now, in addition to these steps, Iāve included the location of a hard drive for a program that I wrote. Itāll kind of be like an AI, I suppose, except itās just a bunch of recordings and a program that determines which recording is best to play. So whenever youāre stuck on a case, you can open up my program and itāll play a recording of me asking various questions to help you work through the case. It wonāt be specific to that case, but itāll hopefully help.
(If youāre struggling, you can ask Babs to help you set it up. She knows about the program since she helped me put it together in case I ever died. She called me weird SO many times while we made this, but Iām glad we did.)
I love my son so much, Bruce thought to himself, even as another tear trickled down his cheek. No matter how morbid it was that Tim had been preparing for his death for years, depending on how long the hard drive had taken him to program, Tim did it anyway. Because he knew Bruce would struggle and he knew Bruce would miss his son. He knew heād just want to hear Timās voice again, to have his help on cases, or even to just listen to. And so heād prepared for that.
No stone left unturned, Tim. You really do think of everything. Youāve always taken care of me, even when I didnāt deserve it, and even now that youāre . . . that youāre gone . . . youāre still taking care of me.
. . . but Iām so glad we did.)
Iāve also left you two pennies. You probably know this already, but I love collecting pennies. Itās something Iāve always done. Any time that something important happens, I end up finding a penny and I keep it in a big binder with each one labeled.
The first penny is a 1939 penny and it is from the day we finalized my adoption. The day you became my dad. I found it on the way back to the car after we filed the last of the paperwork and made everything official. It was one of the happiest days of my life and I want you to have it. That way youāll be reminded of how much I love you and that I was so happy to be your son.
More tears trailed their way down Bruceās cheeks. He let them fall this time. He let the earth soak up his grief even as his heart lightened at Timās words. Adopting Tim had been one of the happiest days of his life, too. It had taken a long time to convince Tim, and even longer to convince him that Bruce was adopting him because he wanted to, and that it had nothing to do with Batman and Robin. That day, Bruce had smiled so wide that he hadnāt even been able to recognize himself.
Very gently, Bruce grabbed the envelope and shook both coins out. He found the first penny with the year 1939 printed on it. It wasnāt remarkable, with no abnormalities. It was just a penny. And yet, it was everything to Bruce because of what it represented. It was his most priceless artifact, more valuable to him than any of the paintings, statues, or rare books. More valuable than every single cent heād ever owned.
Bruce cradled the penny to his chest. I need to find a safe place to keep this, where I can see it and it wonāt get destroyed. Maybe on my nightstand in a frame. But then I wouldnāt be able to touch it or hold it if needed. Iāll ask if Alfred has any ideas.
With the penny cradled close in his hand, Bruce turned back to the letter.
. . . I was so happy to be your son.
The second penny is one you might yell at me for. My very first mission as Robin, before you even officially recognized me as Robin, I happened to take a special penny off of Harvey Dent after saving you and Dick. Iāve kept it all these years. So ta-da!!! Harvey Dentās special penny to commemorate my first mission as Robin! (Now you can yell at me lol)
Bruce huffed. He should have known, the instant Tim mentioned anything about pennies and significant dates. And as sneaky and conniving as his son was, he should have known heād pull off something like stealing Two-Faceās special coin years ago. Bruce even remembered the hullaballoo Harvey threw over his missing coin, but it was never found and heād eventually gotten another one.
This penny was going to be displayed in the Bat Cave, right next to the giant penny. He was going to make a special case and plaque for it and everything. And Bruce knew several of his children would get a good laugh out of the story.
Bruce picked up the other penny and held it close as well, remembering the little boy who smashed his way into a warehouse, in a Robin uniform far too big for him, and rescued both Bruce and Dick from Two-Face.
(Now you can yell at me lol)
In your bedside table, in the drawer you never use cause it gets stuck every time you open it, is a picture of the two of us on the day you adopted me. I kept it by my bedside for years, and now I want you to have it. Any other pictures you want, Dick has access to, so you can ask him for them.
I need to remember to ask Dick for copies of everything. Maybe he could even set up an exhibit for some of the gorgeous shots he knew his son had gotten over the years if only to celebrate one of his sonās passions.
I love you, Bruce. I am so glad that I got to be your Robin and your son. I can never regret being either.
Make sure you donāt have any more regrets.
I love you, Dad.
Dad, he called me Dad! Bruce sobbed over the broken relationship heād had with his son and he sobbed over the title bestowed on him in the final days of Timās death. To be Timās Dad was everything he wanted and everything heād never thought heād get. And even now, Bruce couldnāt be the Dad Tim needed him to be because Tim was gone.
His biggest regrets in life revolved around his children. Not being the loving father they deserved and failing them with his inability to tell them how proud he was of them. To tell them how much he loved each and every one of them. It was too late for him to rectify his mistakes with Tim. But his son was right. He needed to make sure that when he died for good, he would have no more regrets.
I love you, Dad.
Tim Wayne
Bruce sighed and brushed his tears away, his heart heavy and light at the same time. Maybe thatās what healing meant. Either way, Dick was right. Tim knew exactly what to say to Bruce to help him, just as he had from the moment heād stepped into Bruceās life as a curious and stubborn child.
With all the care in the world, Bruce places the letter back into the envelope and then stared out over the small family graveyard once again. He leaned against his parentsā tree, breathing in the fragrance from the blossoms.
Oh Tim. I donāt know how Iām going to do this without you. But I promise you, I will try to be better. You pulled me from the brink once before, when you became my Robin, and youāve pulled me from the brink once more.
Itāll be difficult. More difficult than anything else Iāve ever done in my life. But I will be better for you and for our family. I will become the best man I possibly can. As a father and as a son.
Bruce placed the two pennies back into the envelope, noting the other slip of paper that he hadnāt noticed. Those must be the instructions for the hard drive. Heāll look at that later. Much later, when heās not as fragile.
For now, Bruce had three missions to accomplish. First, thank Alfred for everything, but especially for looking after Tim during those last few months of his life. Second, shower and shave as he wasnāt sure when the last time heād done so was. And thirdly, track down his youngest and give him a big hug.
Setting up that appointment with Dinah could wait one more day.
With more courage than he thought he had, Bruce stood and made his way back to the house, ready to start on the list and determined to live without regret.
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Writer: So They Spooned All Night And The Brooding One Allowed Themselves To Feel Vulnerable For The First Time In Years And The Chirpy One Got Some Quality Snuggles
There was only one bed and so they lay there together, only inches apart physically but it may as well have been miles for neither could muster the courage to tell the other the true depth of their feelings and so they lay there sleepless in their mutual pining
There was only one bed. A carried B to it and gently eased them down. They were both badly injured but Bās conditions were much worse and A wouldnāt rest until they knew B was going to be alright. So A sat down next to B and brushed their hair back, holding their hand as B shivered through the night, their only comfort Aās presence by their side.
There was only one bed. This is normal. Theyāve been married for a decade and have a small child. The child has climbed in bed to snuggle with them because thunder is scary. They have their baby curled between them and they share soft, warm smiles over his sleepy head as he snores little kid snores.
Me, who just wants domestic curtains found family fic:
There was only one bed, the two characters argued and bickered begging for them not to have to share it, but they somehow are here still. They agree that there both going to pick a side and stay on it. This was going fine until in the middle of the night A woke up screaming and crying, B gets them to calm down and they end up falling asleep next to each other feeling safe
There was only one bed. A noticed Bās exhaustion and lifted them easily. āYou donāt have to carry me like a child,ā B noted, despite being clearly pleased by how matters were progressing. āI think we both know thatās not true,ā A replied with a grin. The bed was warm, inviting, and yet something was missing. āIs this a private party, or can just anyone join,ā C called from the doorway, clad only in their underwear and a smile. āOnly if itās you!ā A and B replied in unison as they drew the covers back.
I'm a fandom oldie and a strong proponent of "ship and let ship", and I defend everyone else's right to ship what they love... But I think that gives people the idea that I like, automatically love every single ship??? Or every single trope?
I don't though!
There are a lot of fandom tropes that are on my "absolutely fuck no" list. There are a lot of irk kinks that are also on my "nope absolutely not" list, too. Personally, this is healthy. I'm able to look at something and go "Yep, I hate it, but it's not harming anyone, so continue to do as you please."
I think this is where the rubber meets the road for actually having principles. Itās easy to defend the things we like, just like itās easy to fight for our own rights and those of people just like us. When you have to use logic to extend your sense of justice to people you canāt relate to, that actually takes effort.
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hyperfixation please stay with me long enough to complete the project. hyperfixation do not fade. hyperfixation finish what you started for the love of god
I donāt know about others but the only reason I put both is so that whichever someone clicks on, they will find my fic. So if there is supposed to be rules, I guarantee you that no writer knows these ones. We can barely get people to comment, you think weāre going to specifically choose & or / ? Hell no.
Iāve been in fandom for twenty years, and ā/ā means romance and ā&ā means no romance was literally one of the first things I learned. It dates back to Star Trek fanfiction of the 70s. Iām boggled by the fact that anyone whoās been reading fic on AO3 for more than like five minutes wouldnāt know that, and Iām curious as to what fanfic community you come out of.
I donāt think that tagging with both is actually going to get your fic in front of more readers. People looking for romance often exclude the ā&ā tag if there are too many gen fics tagged with both. People looking for gen often exclude the ā/ā tag if there are too many fics with both. So rather than putting your fic in front of twice the people, you are in fact more likely to get your target audience ignoring your fic because it has a tag they donāt want.
Also, by overtagging you are more likely to annoy potential readers away from your fic than entice them. A fic tagged both & and / better have both romance and a ton of platonic interaction between the two characters, like a slow burn romance friends-to-lovers arc. If it isnāt, Iām going to be very unhappy because the author lied to me with the tags to try and trick me into reading a fic with deceptive advertising.
When Iām in a fandom and see tagging where some of the tags donāt really apply and are just there to get it in front of more eyes, Iām going to assume one of two things. Either the author is a newb who doesnāt know anything, or the author is purposefully spamming the tags because they donāt care about lying to their potential audience and think that āspray and prayā is an effective tactic. In the first case, their writing probably will not be very good, so why bother reading their fic. In the second case, the fact that I canāt trust the tags to be accurate means Iām not going to read it to see if itās interesting even if it has a tag I like. Chances are, that tag isnāt actually in the fic anyway, and even if it is, by spam-tagging the author is making the archive harder to use for everybody. Why would I reward bad behavior with attention? No. Far better to mute the author and move on.
More to the point--and no, I will never stop harping on this, because we have GOT to stop leaving our strongest points in the drawer--it doesn't matter if you heard of this convention before joining AO3 or not, because it's in AO3's tagging FAQ.
[id: the "How do I tag a romantic or platonic relationship?" section of the tagging FAQ here.]
"But Jo," you may argue, because you're wrong. "There's no way to find that without digging through site FAQ menus, and that's really inaccessible!"
sure
except
that when you go to post a new fic, and you go to put in those relationship tags, you see this
[id: the Relationships field]
and that tooltip, the one THERE TO EXPLAIN HOW THE FIELD WORKS, links to the Relationships segment of the tag FAQ, which explicitly lays this shit out.
I don't care if you don't know fandom history. I don't care if you've never heard a goddamn word about the spirk shippers. I don't care if you've never been exposed to fandom culture in your life. It is, frankly, not fair to expect those things of everyone.
What is entirely fair to expect is that you will READ THE INSTRUCTIONS PRINTED NEXT TO THE FUCKING BOX, actually. Forget fandom conventions. It genuinely doesn't matter whether you agree with or respect fandom conventions. This is a site policy. This is explicitly how tagging on AO3, specifically, works.
Also, idk if it's just me, but whenever I see an overtagged fic with a bunch of "/"s and "&"s thrown in seemingly at random I'm going to scroll past it. I'm going to assume it's a plotless, half-baked attention grab. Because it most likely is, 9 times out of 10 it is.
A few tags relating to what's in the fic? Great, amazing I can clearly see the author's intentions, I know I can trust them with what they're doing, I can kinda infer what's the fic gonna be about just from the tags alone and see if I vibe with that or not, the description is gonna help entice me and pull me in.
A giant wall of all concievable tags on the site? Welp, looks like the fic is trying to be everything at once, I have no idea what the fic's gonna be about, the author went unhinged with tagging and I'm uncomfortable, cuz it's either really going to be everything at once and yet nothing of substance at the same time (and most times in a form of a chatfic) or it's literally going to be the most normal fic out there that could've been summed up in 3 tags or less and the author is a liar.
You're not getting your fic to 2 audiences at once, girliepop, you're just putting your lack of effort and respect for potential readers out there to scare them away. Just pls learn how to properly tag shit. It's not hard to tag fics correctly.
Use the fucking "&" properly, pls, I'm begging you, I'm starving for my platonic relationships content in this barren AO3 land and the morsels of "&" I stumble upon all turn out to be FUCKING PORN! THIS IS A CRY FOR HELP PLEASE
Labeling your plastic chair "brocade" "boho" "desk" isn't going to get people to buy your chair; it's going to tell them you're a dipshit. Don't be a dipshit.
gotham is filled with evil homosexuals so I think having a buff dude in high-tec latex underwear pinning them to the ground doesn't really help the crime situation actually
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no no no you guys donāt understand, Pippin is someone really important in the Shire! The books donāt talk about it a lot, and the movies wonāt touch that stuff with a bargepole, but Pippin will be inheriting land rights to about a quarter of the Shire. Heās second in line to becoming military leader of all Hobbits. His dad is currently in charge of that stuff, but heās completely aware of it, and educated for it, and thatās why heās such an over privileged little shit in the books.
I thought it was a shame the movies didnāt talk about class differences in the Shire. Also puts M&P stealing food in an uglier light.
To be fair, at the time of the Party, Pippin would have been 12, which puts it back into a more acceptable light. Ā And theyāre stealing food from Bilbo, a wealthy and eccentric family member, which again makes things a bit different.
But yes, when they call PippinĀ Ernil i Perrianath - Prince of the Halflings - they are actually completely spot on.
And when Pippin tells Bergil āmy father farms the land around Tuckboroughā heās deliberately downplaying his class so that he can greet the boy as an equal rather than a superior. Ā Itās Pippinās most adult moment in the series. Ā Bergil is engaging in a status contest which Pippin canĀ totally win -Ā but instead chooses not to compete. Ā Pippin is a gilded and spoiled lordling in the Shire, but he becomes a Man of Gondor.
Yeah, to add a bit of unnecessary trivia/level of preciseness, Frodo is the oldest of the four; he was born in 2968, was (obviously) 33 at the time of the Party, and so heās 51 here. Samās second-oldest; born in 2980, he was 21 when Bilbo left and is 39 at this point. Merryās two years younger than Sam, making him 18 or 19 in 3001, when the Party took place, and Pippin was born in 2990, so he was actually 10 or 11 during the Party, and during this scene theyāre ~37 and ~29, respectively.
So yeah, Pippinās the youngest by aĀ lot. Plus, taking hobbit aging into account, he really is still in the equivalent of his teens; remember the Party was half to celebrate Frodoās coming-of-age atĀ 33, and Pippinās around twenty yearsĀ younger than Frodo.Ā
This fucked me up. I didnāt read the books and in the movie it was shown like Frodo took off with the ring like 2 days after Bilboās gone away, but it was 17 years after that. OMFG.
Also worth noting that āMerry and Pippin stealing foodā isnāt in the book - raiding Farmer Maggotās fields, specifically the mushrooms, is somethingĀ Frodo used to do when he was a kid, before his parents died and he moved to Hobbiton to live with Bilbo. Frodoās still afraid of Maggotās guard dogs, but the farmer himself is sympathetic and helpful when he finds Frodo & Co. cutting through his field.
And this is specifically invoked in the books at the Council of Elrond, where Elrond argues against Pippin in particular going, becauseĀ he is so young. Heās okay with Merry going but wants to keep Pippin in Rivendell. Elrond has serious misgivings against sending an early-teenager off to face the Shadow, and given what happens to Pippin in The Two Towers, he was not wrong.
Merry is also a prince of sorts - his father is Master of Buckland, which is the semi-autonomous boundary community between the Brandywine river and the Old Forest (never, alas, discussed in the movies). Merry and Pippin are friends in the books in part because theyāre of relatively equal status and in part because theyāre cousins (like all nobs, Shire nobs mostly marry each other).
However, the books also clearly make Merry the Responsible One, even though heās only been a full adult for four years. (Think early 20s in human terms.) Merry buys and prepares the house at Crickhollow. Merry figures out the secret of the ring before Bilbo even gives it to Frodo, but Merry keeps Bilboās secret. Merry convinces Sam to spy on Frodo. Merry explains that theyāre all joining Frodo on the Quest, whether Frodo wants them to or not. Merry cautions about the Old Forest and doesnāt go down to drink in the taproom at the Prancing Pony.
So in the books, Merry isnāt Pippinās partner in pranks - instead, Merry and Pippin spend all their time together on the Quest because Merryās looking after his younger cousin. Can you imagine what his mother would say if he came home without Pippin? Merry can, and thatās why he takes some pretty absurd personal risks during the books to make sure that doesnāt happen. Like, he literally rides into battle on the back of someone elseās horse, in disguise, because Pippin is probably somewhere in that battle.
Merry is 99%* common sense unless Pippin is involved, and then he is 100% save/rescue/protect/support Pippin. The character growth and maturation we see in Merry in the movies isnāt in the books; instead he has almost the exact opposite arc of becoming an extreme risk-taker, driven by his protective instincts.
(*The other 1% stabbed a ringwraith in the calf that one time, but we can argue that this was due to a natural expansion of Merryās protective instincts toward Eowyn, with whom heād bonded quite a lot recently, and toward Theoden, who he deeply respected as being kind of like his dad.)
when pippin finds merry stumbling half-blind and sick through the streets of Minas Tirith after killing the Ringwraith, he tells Merry āPoor old fellow! Iāll look after you,ā half-carries him to the healing halls, and is worried sick about him until he can finally get Aragorn in to give him medicine.
Itās the first time in the story that PippinĀ has looked after Merry, instead of the other way around.
It shows that Pippin has grown up, that he can protect the people who always protected him.
This is also why itās awesome when they finally come back to the Shire, and Sarumanās made a right mess of things, and itās Merry and Pippin that kick ass and take names. Theyāre the closest things the Shire has to princes and military leaders, and theyāve just had adventures that make this look like a minor action. Frodoās tired, and Samās just worried about Frodo, and Merry and Pippin are like hold my pint, I got this.
Teardrops Like RainĀ (Ao3 series link)
Summary: After heĀ ācame back to lifeā, Tim decides to build a life he had dreamed about as a kid. He goes to college and retires from the hero life. His family comes looking for him and reminds him why he left Gotham. Then, he gets life-changing news and has to deal with his own mortality.
Rating: T
Pairing: None
Warnings: Major Character Death, minor violence, Cancer/Sickness
What Happens in Gotham, Stays in GothamĀ (Ao3 link)
What Happens in Gotham, Stays in Gotham
You Choose Your Family
What Doesnāt Kill You Makes You Stronger
The Sky Cries for Fallen Children
Pearls of Wisdom Never Saved Anyone
Pennies From HeavenĀ (Ao3 link)
As the Bulwark Crumbles
Rough Around the Edges
To Build a Legacy
NemesisĀ (Ao3 link)
Summary: Raās decides he must have the Detective by his side and lays the perfect trap with the highest of stakes.Ā Only, Bruce isnāt the target.Ā Heās just another pawn in the ongoing game between Raās al Ghul and Timothy Drake.
Rating: T
Pairings: Tim/Jason
Warnings: Major Character Death (itās temporary)
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Sirenās CoveĀ (Ao3 link)
Summary: Tim is torn between two families.Ā When it comes down to saving the lives of his aunts or betraying them to the Bats, he faces against the Batman and his various Robins.Ā Tim must convince them to leave his aunts alone or they will all die.
Rating: T
Pairings: Pamela Isley/Harleen Quinzel, Tim/Jason
Warnings: Mentions of Joker, Past Brainwashing, Past Torture
Part 1
Part 2
Part 3
LettersĀ (Ao3 link)
Summary:Ā Jason knows that heās been thoroughly replaced and decides to see just how replaced he has been.Ā But he finds a box of letters that tells a story different from the one that he was told.
Rating: T
Pairings: Tim/Jason
Warnings: Past Character Death, Reference to Past Violence
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Scars Tell a StoryĀ (Ao3 link only)
Summary:Ā On the way out of Gotham after his whole world was ripped out from under his feet, Tim finds himself in the clutches of CADMUS as a scientific experiment.Ā He is forced to deal with everything that happened while in their custody and the fact that no one ever looked for him.
Rating: M
Pairings: None
Warnings: Graphic Depictions of Violence, Torture, Lots of Angst
Bat Fic Voting
Five different stories that I plan on writing eventually.
After a long time, I'm happy to announce that I am depressed enough to get in the right mindset to finish "Pennies From Heaven"! Bruce's chapter will be along shortly
