envy

PAC: channeled messages from the universe ♡

take a moment, clear your head, and choose an image(s) that allures you the most ♇

song rec: hero’s soup - stray kids 

Among my friends (all thin and beautiful) I am the ‘thick’ one.

Okay fine…I get guys because I have boobs and an ass but I don’t care. I want to be thin. Skinny. Skeletal.

I want my friends to ask me “what’s your secret?!’” and tell me “your bod looks amazing!”.

As I get smaller and smaller I want to see the hint of concern in their eyes, in everyone’s eyes.

I want people to whisper about me behind my back, and start asking if I’m okay.

I want them to be scared about what they say around me, not only because I’m clearly mentally unstable but also because I look so frail a single breath could knock me off my feet.

I want them to confront me and beg me to ‘stop’, beg me to eat something. And I’ll refuse, I’ll always refuse.

I want to be the corrupt, sick but beautiful girl who’s voice tells me to put the food down. I love the ana lifestyle, and I’ll never stop loving it.

I’m jealous,

of those who can eat without counting each calorie they consume

of those who can look at themselves in the mirror and be happy with what they see

of those who don’t constantly worry about their weight

of those who can eat sweets without a second thought

of those who are simply happy the way they look

But I’m the most jealous

of those whose thighs don’t touch

of those who can wear anything and look gorgeous

of those who are as light as a feather

of those who can be picked up and carried with ease

of those who loose weight without any struggle

of those who have small wrists

of those who have a small waist

of those who have self control