Camilla Blair

I blink once or twice before I see a red hair women stroking my head. ‘’Izabelle.’’ I whisper. Yes. Definably dead. I stood up to see my friend with a soft smile hugging me and stroking my hair like she always did when I was upset or needed comfort. ‘’I am sorry you died and I didn’t avenge you’’ I simply say looking at her. She smile and wave her hand ‘’It’s ok. You came back to yourself before doing something you would have regret. I’d rather see you like that than having a vendetta on someone.’’ She said kissing my cheek. Soon enough Adrian and Harlan came. I smile at both of them. Adrian hugs me and start singing the song we both sang before he died.’’ Don’t say you are sorry. You fought until the end and wanted to go home for our cause. So don’t say you are sorry Cam. ‘’ he say before I even say a word. I chuckle on in chest and he rock me.

But finally Harlan pull me out of his grip so I go into his arm. ‘’Mila. My Mila’’ He said looking at me with sadness but also pride. ‘’I failed you’’ I said in a sad voice. ‘’ I wanted you to go home more that I wanted to win. You didn’t fail me and you went far. So calm down love. We are together now. ‘’ Harlan grabs my face and stroke his tumb on my cheek before pressing his lips avidly on mine. I couldn’t help but to answer back his kiss as our tongues dance together and his hand grab my waist so I couldn’t move out. Like I wanted. I miss those kisses. ''I thought it was wrong and you couldnt do it anymore'' I said after a moment that felt like hour. I am sure if I could breathe I would be breathless. ''who care were dead'' He said before kissing me once more like he use to do before that damn letter.

Starting to give up on my hope, I heard a bip of a parachute outside the building. Probably for Adrian again. I look up amused to my ally and.... oh. Right. He's dead. They re all dead. what a fool am I. The bip got stronger so I frown and stood up. Carefully I open the door to see that the parachute sound wasn't louder. But there was...three. My eyes widen and I took them as quick as I could before entering in the building and looking at them. Three sponsor. People must have liked seeing me turning into a monster because before torturing a career I wasn't interesting enough.

But even with my pride, I couldnt spit on help. Not when I was in the final four. I look at who send it, my heart fall back. That wasn't from the capitol. That was from my friend. My fallen friend. I look at their words and the same punch of love wrap me and made me do a warm and loving smile. My guardians angel. Believing in me, believing in my strength.. believing I couldnt continue to fight for the cause. «Wow...» was the only thing I could say. Then I saw all the gift and I start crying of joy. Food, water, bandage, cream burn, needles... They gave me everything I need. Not to fight. But to get strength and be strong for the final. «thanks.» I was speechless for a moment then took a deep breath. «I'll fight. Until the end» I said looking at the roof wondering if they were all happier where they all are. 

I decided to patch myself up in first. I bite into my shirt the whole time I stitches myself from the arrow wound Anton gave me. I put rubbing alchool on it and on my bruised wrist so it wont infect. Not that it matter but better doing it than not. The snow Harlan put on my burn chest on day two might have help but now it was starting to get infected and a bit gross, When i lift off my shirt the odor made me want to throw up but I oblige myself and I put the cream. I didnt realize how hot my chest was until I put the medicine on. 

after fixing up myself and let the capitol's miracle do their job I start eating the strew my fallen friends gave me. I was so hungry. In five day I'd hate rotten crackers, two soup can, half a coke and some animal cracker  Enough to keep you alive but not enough to do more. And the odor and the thought of a warm meal was making it easy enough for me to eat it all and one canteen of water. I try to hold myself to eat the roll and the orange but it was too much for me. I knew the finale was in a few hour and it was no time to save food. I started to feel better from all the food I was eating and the strength was coming back. so yes, I ate everything. My stomach by the end was full and happy, my head was heavy and I started even to smile. I look at my chest where the burned flesh was already healing. 

I lost everyone. The reaping made me lost Devon, the arena made me loose everyone else.  Second day Harlan. The fourth Adrian. The fifth Izabelle. This is too much. I know I should be glad that the final four werent us four and we wouldnt have to kill eachother. But it's not really a consolation.When I got reaped I was sure to go there alone. And now that my alliance were all death I knew how much I wasn't. I enter the game alone but I find there a family. Not only a real brother of blood. Three family member from the heart, bound to something more than pure friendship. Otherwise, with all our drama, why would we have stick together until the very end. 

I was in pain. I was in rage. Putting my hand on my hear I close my eyes to stop myself of  seeing the image of my friend's death. Fallen. One by one.. Why was I reaped. Without it maybe Devon wouldn't have been in the human wall that killed him. He would have gone to work, be frien with Harlan, make me meet him. We would have been friend, greate friend. The friend we always were before falling stupidly in love. Mom would have told us we were related. and we would all be shock but happy to find each other...and we all three be in life in the safety of our district. And why should I have to meet my brother of heart Adrian in a game we both hate and fight against. I miss already our whispered conversation trying to understand the reality of each other district.  I miss his curious eyes when he ask question and the sparkle in his eyes when he learn something. Izabelle...My poor Izabelle. I failed her. I wasn't a good friend for her. Lost in my own pain I forgot to asking her how she was dealing with Adrian's rejection. I failed to protect she. Not that she needed it though. She was a strong one. But it's rare meeting someone that understand you in a second. One look, one pressure on the hand one hug. We were able to talk to each other without any words. And despite everything she was never mad at me for being selfish and think of my own problem before hers, she never judge me to had falling in love with my own brother. She was always there. 

They are all gone. In probably a better place than Panem will ever be. And I know, from up there, I failed them. I lost my mind with Anton. In the pure anger of wanting a career die, I became a piece of the capitol game; I became a tribute ready to kill to survive. Worst. I tribute ready to torture before killing. And I didnt even managed to make my final blow. If he ever wake up and survive the bleeding, I know I'm his next target. We were only four and I manage myself to make a mortal enemy. My weakness might be my downfall. I dont know. I know nothing anymore. I am tired, mental exhausted  the pain in my chest isnt because of my burned mark and I know in a few hour the game maker will throw at us the finale. So I put myself in a corner of a room and I let myself to cry and mourn my lost friend before the final countdown.