Liv Writes Things

//// Cross-Posted on Ao3

“Do you think-”

“No, I don’t, actually.” He paused for a beat, not taking his eyes off the blanket of lilac that seemed to tuck in the sun. “...I try not to.” Sirius snickered, shaking his head.

James sighed, rolling his eyes. He leaned backward to lay on the tall grass. The thick, unruly hair nearly blended into the ground as the sun continued to sink beneath the sky. James exhaled, letting a huff of air out which blew out a dandelion. The fluffy white parachute seeds were carried by the wind, directly onto Sirius’ face.

He scrunched up his face, coughing and sputtering as he swept them away with his hand. “Ach- James! What the hell was that about?!”

James let out another exasperated sigh, smirking as he turned to look at Sirius again. It was clear what he wanted, and Sirius hung his head in defeat, sinking into the grass beside James.

The two were now watching as the stars were becoming visible. A breeze passed through them like a wave of pollen and that iconic summer hay fever but still comfortable from that lingering warmth. Sirius turned to James, grinning. “Okay, okay. Say your piece.”

And just like that, James let out a hearty chuckle. “No, no, no, Pads. Please, I insist. It’s stupid, anyways..”

“Can’t be that stupid if you were so easily ready to pout about it.” Sirius leaned closer to James, nudging him playfully with his elbow. “C’mooon. C’moooooon.”

James chuckled again, clutching his ribs defensively as he wiggled away from Sirius. “Fine.” He took a deep breath, trying not to giggle again. “So, do you think-”

Sirius smirked playfully, pinching James in the ribs. “This had better not be some sort of love confession. We both may be handsome but I reckon it’d make things awkward, given that we’re rooming together ‘n all.”

“Sirius, for Merlin’s sake, stop interrupting me! You bloody twat!” James pinched Sirius back, who then began to squeal with laughter.

“ACH! ALRIGHT, I GET IT! I’M SORRY! UNCLE!”

James paused then, retreating from the other boy’s ribs and mulling over his words. The silence between the two was thick but comfortable, filled with remaining birds chirping, the wind howling through the trees, the occasional cricket and Sirius lying beside him attempting to catch his breath. “I guess.. In some way or another, it is a confession of love.”

Sirius sat up, his bangs falling into his face. “Sincerely?”

“Just- let me finish.”

He laid back down beside James, a pit forming in his stomach as he anticipated his best friend’s next words. Depending on whatever James said next would potentially change the trajectory of their friendship, for better or for worse. Sirius didn’t want things to change. Things had finally gotten better for him since he had been staying with the Potters.

He was terrified to be loved, especially by someone who seemed to love others so effortlessly.

James gulped and began again. “Do you think... We’re friends in every universe?”

Oh. that was… not at all what he had been expecting. Sirius blinked, wide-eyed, thinking about the question.

“I reckon so.” he paused, nodding adamantly. "The sun is a star."

"The sun is a star," James repeated, whispering as he bit back a large, goofy grin. "Can't argue with that logic."

Sirius looked back up at the sky, watching the sun continue to set upon the horizon. “Though we’re different, given that we have different functions and public views and tales written about us, at the end of the day we are one in the same.” he blinked, watching James’ reaction.

James just continued to stare at the sky, smiling impossibly wider as fireflies began to gently float into the tall grass surrounding the two. The green hue of bioluminescent bug contrasted nicely with the midnight blue being pulled into the sky and was extremely flattering when reflecting against the eyes of the boys.

“But the sun also blinds you when you look at it. No stars or even the moon are visible when next to it.” Sirius continued, the corner of his lip tugging downwards as he contemplated how truly beloved James was in comparison to him.

James had it all, loving parents, friends, a nice house, wealth, good looks, and intelligence. He was a sweet, soon-to-be head boy and star quidditch player. Sirius couldn’t help but feel inadequate, given that he was a teenage runaway who was seen as nothing but a delinquent and a disgrace to the Black family name.

“Ah, but I don’t choose to look at it like that.” James shook his finger, tsk-tsking away before he continued. “The sun brightens things up so we can see well, yeah? Well, you can see as well in the moonlight- or starlight for that matter, just less so.” He paused, furrowing his brows at Sirius. “It’s not like the stars disappear when the sun is out. They’re still there.”

“I know that, but-”

“-But, the sun is mundane. The stars, however, are so romanticized and beloved that entire cultures have developed because of them.” James continued, lacing his fingers with Sirius’ as he broke out into another smile. “Sailors use stars for navigation, not the sun.”

Sirius blinked sheepishly. He didn’t know what to say, but there was no denying that the boy beside him was correct. “Huh.”

The atmosphere had changed instantly between the two, as James and Sirius now felt a cosmic warmth cloak the other. Within an instant, an entire lifetime of lollygagging flashed before the boys. From hot summer nights by the lake to winters spent indoors decorating a Christmas tree.

They would be each other's best man, shoulder to cry on, and greatest beacon of support.

Sirius would never admit it, but he was on the verge of tears just thinking about it. For the first time in a long while, he felt at home. He felt loved. James had been correct, funnily enough.

James could sense the unrest in his friend, leaning over to look at Sirius. His deep brown eyes were swimming with affection, as it seemed James could nearly drown in the love he had for all people, but especially for Sirius. He stifled a giggle, pressing a chaste kiss to Sirius’ forehead before lying back down.

Speechless, Sirius closed his eyes again, instantly relaxing back into the grass and tilting his head to lean on James’ shoulder.