Little Walken's Mind Dump

The first amendment protects you against the government, not the Little Walken.

My blog, my bean soup recipe within the TOS.

Don't be the reason we can't have nice things.

Advisor for snoot guardianship.

If the person from the tarot card comment gets over here longer answer- I read your post and looking at it again I can see where you're going. But yeah, the pose is also come play with us. On the Tarot side the Rider-Waite deck is the most common imagery for the general public when they think of Tarot cards and enough people will come to think of it as the only deck.

After thinning out the herd we're down to 3 that I know of in the house, the R-W deck because that's the one mom knows, the Russian miniature genre one I bought because it's pretty, and the one I'd be inclined to actually use- Garbage Pail kids. There's also a blank DIY one I've had for 20 years because it's taken that long to figure out what imagery I want to use and I've kind of forgotten about it and now I don't care and have it set aside with an extra package of colored pencils for a gift.

Hello, my user name is Little Walken and I was probably born with an autism spectrum disorder that still isn't diagnosed and then I survived a traumatic brain injury 30+ years ago, so things can be a bit not the average bear.

It's not you, it's me.

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But fuck yeah, I have a deck of Garbage Pail Kids and if I could get my DIY deck together, I'm actually thinking of using blank flash cards because they'll be easier to do the art for, it would have Muppets, a Mars Rover, Monty Python, all sorts of deeply personal images.

Some of it is not feeling whatever about the art style I'de choose and wanting to just print out photos edited to tarot card size except I no longer have any sort of photoshop outside of whatever came with this Babbage Differential Engine.

Look, whatever it is, for the rest of the week, just don't. We are going in to Super Deluxe Ultra Mega Freedom Weekend 250 and if you want to keep having the freedom to be who you are chill out and enjoy it.

Technically women have had constitutional access to guns longer than they've had the right to vote.

Don't make us use it.

Typed and deleted some Harry Potter and The Theory of Mind stuff.

I'd rather turn my thoughts to the better side of things such as there would have been a time where my phone bill going up $ a month would have set off a chain reaction of switching companies to find a "better" (cheaper) deal and/or group plans with family and not owning my phone and...

Instead I adulted to the phone store, considered some other plans, they looked at the message I was sent, and translated that all it meant was the price was going up. I thanked them for their time, told them I'm happy with the service, and next time the message could have been a bit more clear that all that was happening was a price increase.

As long as my phone bill and interweb grid connection are under a certain percentage of my income I'm fine. And if I have the slowest speed in the building there's no gaming and streaming going on. I have grandma wifi and I'm fine with it.

You know what I kind of want out of Freedom 250? A set of coins. I will always remember the first time I saw a state quarter in the wild. I think I have circulated 1976 coins around somewhere, coin collecting is something I want to beat my sperm donor's side of the family with I'll show you who's unwanted, but long story short it might be fun to drill some holes and make a charm bracelet of 1976 and 2026 coins.

The dollhouse is in place, the bed is in place, all that could possibly be required is minor scootching. However I didn't quite connect yesterday was Monday so after that I needed more tickets to go out and do Monday things and this morning the fuckwaffle in my neck is up way before I am. And then I need to further adult soon and change my phone plan as the one I have is going away so I need to find out what their next version of it is.

I'm going to stay with my phone company because they're basically all the same when it comes to my needs. Fuck yeah I own my own phone. I'm not getting in a situation where some AI thinks I haven't paid or committed some sort of thought crime so they brick it. Half the time my old electronics go to someone else anyway. Nor do I want a new one. As long as this phone works and can have security updates it will be my phone. The next one will be less fancy as this one will still work as a camera.

But we're not giving this phone any ideas.

something something Got to work on the brain not getting trapped in thought cycles unless it involves something like writing or arting or making something in general or a cooking recipe something something If it's gonna do that anyway let's be more beneficial something something

I should wear my I love shrimp shirt more often.

Took the Grucifix off my charm bracelet, nothing against Ghost or Satan, it's just kind of not a thing right now. It can always change and I want to redo some of my remixed Ghost jewelry. Also it's a stainless steel very pointy Grucifix and I want either a less pointy one or a Baphomet. I bought some generic Satanic earrings and adapted the pieces to be charms for mostly the Ghost band jewelry. I still have no idea outside of divine intervention that I found the bathroom symbol charms I did in the nameless ghoul ratio as they were supposed to be half and half not five and three.

Did I do that yesterday or the day before?

Basically any extra tickets are usually here a couple hours after waking up so if there's something that really needs doing like tidying up I'll do it then. Most of the time I'll have a quick crash nap after. Many times if it involved scootching something then it might stay scootched for a few days until I get tickets again so it's not uncommon to not exactly remember if I scootched something yesterday or the day before but not like in a losing my memory sort of way but in a doing this on autopilot getting it done sort of way.

Like putting my cold drink cup and hot drink mug in each other's places.

That's half the 'nother day, 'nother box of pens thing, but it comes with a dazed sort of not completely awake more bass functions state of operations, sometimes with a migraine as well, that people can see in my eyes. So why don't I drive or do other activities that could endanger the public?

Back when we lived hella closer to the brain injury support group I was able to put that sensation in to words to help friends and family of TBI people understand the fog of existing.

What I do need to remember to do is vacuum the area where I want to put the dollhouse before I put it there because it might not get done again for a good long time. I'd like to be able to have that fucker somewhere I can set it up and enjoy it.

Another day, another box of pens.

I was hoping to have some extra tickets yesterday but I never got them, maybe they'll come in today.

Recovering from this cold or whatever it is, I'm coughing so its not the coof, aside I am at a place where I can count on a base level of tickets every day. I like to use them to hopefully knock sense in to the lazy ass people who say it takes too many spoons to shower.

I have low iron low red blood cell anemia, I have never had energy in my life except for the first few days, maybe a week or so that I was on a prescribed anti seizure or whatever it was but that ended up bringing a different batch of problems. I can somehow take care of my bathing, grooming, laundry, take out trash, not leave dishes around, change my sheets, quite a bit of cooking, and generally take care of myself.

And I do spend a few hours a day on line, not counting when I just let yew chube run as my television while I do other things, and manage to get outside and do things away from home.

I just can't wrap my head around laziness and people demanding others do things for them, especially the people who will bitch and complain for an hour instead of taking five minutes to do it themselves. Do you know how nice it is to be as self sufficient and possible in a lot of things?

Do they need an algae tablet-no, does the person in the house who gives the pets too many treats think they deserve an algae tablet even tho there is plenty of algae and biofilm in the tank-yes.

Getting up, changing the sheets, doing laundry, and some kind of meal prepping for future Little Walken helped make yesterday go better. Then I got out and paid some bills so that's done.

It looks like I might have to be at the place the smothering unit's surgery is being done so I can be the trusted person for her to go home with when we have to get what ever transport is being arranged for us. Might end up being a neighbor who does that for other neighbors.

It's one of those things so called family could do for us and we'd let them stay here overnight because they'd want to hit up the good thrift store on their way home and we know of a couple others between here and there but as one of the if not the only one in this bloodline who doesn't have to be right or better than anyone else I don't see that happening.

Seriously, y'all don't want me to drive. I don't even like to have glass tableware because I drop shit all the time. Don't ask Satan how I never broke a single phone or iShiny. The red phone cracked its glass shell vibrating its self off a table.

Today I want to attempt to vacuum. I might scootch the dollhouse to where I want it then put the other things around it in place. It all depends on how many balance tickets I get.

Meanwhile the finally getting to reading things I saved and deleting things that are bad reads has gotten going. My first Neil Gaiman story (keep it to yourself Mr Stotch) did not go well. How did that win an award? How awful were the other entries?

spoilers now included

Took a dose of those fizzy dissolving tablets but for cold and allergy to try and take down some of the swelling in my sinuses and not make the inventor sad and all it did was give me emotional seizures and make every fiber in my body feel like it's twitching. So no, a lot of the time there isn't something I can just take for that and if I feel bad enough to do so I have to be prepared for the rest of my day to be fucked. :/

A "good" reaction to OTC cold and allergy stuff for me will knock me out and have me napping and eating all day. You also stand a good chance that I'll be... Other people would probably see it as being honest and expressing myself but as I'm probably autistic and was raised in the environment I was raised it then it'll mean I'm being a bitch.

Now let's add that in a month the smothering unit will be having melanoma surgery that will require her being put under anesthesia and they better wake her back up again. I can't drive so we had to have an honest what literal good would it do me to be waiting there because there's nothing I could do anyway talk. She has to arrange a ride with her medical company, it's a senior one so it's their job, and possibly have to explain that aside from a disabled daughter she doesn't have any supportive members of her family because she let the other one's behavior devolve to the point of driving everyone else away.

Satan forbid should something happen I will be somewhere between hoping I can patch things up long enough that someone can help me get to my next stage in life, deal with her hoard, move, and all that, or... I have been thinking about what I could do in that situation.

What ever anxiety you might or might not have it is good to think about how you might deal with major and possible life situations. As the date we ended up homeless crept up on us I did watch videos and look in to resources, if it wasn't for the pandemic at the same time things could have been different, and had several situations for myself that I could try.

It's all gambling on my sinuses today and we'll leave it at that.

To congratulate myself I did read yesterday, even if some of it was skimming, and got thru one of the pulps I had downloaded to look for content for my bathroom book.

Aside from getting a few series outright or issues with "famous" stories I also randomly choose things with interesting covers, titles, and authors I enjoy. https://archive.org/details/pulpmagazinearchive?sort=-addeddate

This is what free on the internet is about. Show me anywhere that Terrible Human Beings Megacorp would stand to win by not allowing 100 year old magazines to be freely read? Original prints might have literally disintegrated, some issues are still not represented at all, and reprints would only be certain things that they wouldn't have paid rights for in the first place.

Of the 1922 issue of The Black Mask I read https://archive.org/details/bm_1922_08 the story I liked, Blueberry Pie, probably wouldn't have been the one chosen for any collections because the protagonist is female and she triumphs. Post code Hollywood wouldn't touch it. We'll just give you the story that takes place at the bank.

Instead I got bored, started reading it on my tablet, and Blueberry Pie aside I'm going to go back and see if there's anything else I want to pull out of it.

Speaking of bored unless you really want sports scores and politics from that time just get any Stephan Crane collection with The Blue Hotel in it, why yes one of the bathroom book/magazines I'm putting together has blue for a theme, but you wouldn't know unless you could look at a copy of the magazines it was originally serialized in. Imagine paying stupid money for one of the few surviving print copies for the only thing of note to be a story you could get for free from the library.

https://archive.org/details/pulpmagazinearchive?sort=-addeddate

Chronologically and spoiler free they are-

The Black Mask from August 1922 https://archive.org/details/bm_1922_08

Blueberry Pie is the stand out story for me. This would make a great episode of any anthology series that has weird murder mystery type stories BUT it would have to be done in a historic setting because if you read it you'll realize it's kind of impossible to happen in the modern information age. I didn't say it couldn't have a modern adaptation but it might lose something in the updating. As for the whole magazine it's a good enough read, it's all mystery based but each story has a different tone.

Astounding Science Fact and Fiction/Analog from March 1960 (first title in the list) https://archive.org/details/analog-v-116n-01-02-1996-01-unz.org/1960-1969/1960/Analog%20v065n01%20%281960-03%29%20%28unz.org%29/

The cover story Immortality For Some could have gone somewhere if it had time to cook a little longer and/or had more space to breathe and find its self. We're given what becomes an interesting idea, and a slightly familiar one if you're familiar with a famous movie this predates, and by the end you might want to see this idea worked out in to a miniseries because it's just a bit much for a single move. There are some other stories of the gambling space soldier hates aliens type and factual based articles including what Mars might be like*. Over all the magazine is dry in the buzz cut pipe smoking dad sort of way.

Got several paragraphs of an idea for an already established story written down yesterday so yay me and creativity.

I can't say if my health is any better or I'm just used to my sinuses being swelled and coughing a lot by now. There's nothing OTC that I can take that really does anything to help, even the stuff that sends me strait to The Hat Man, or the Where's Doug real, or even that one's mine I brought them with me. And it's not the sort of thing that needs a prescription either.

Somewhere between my last two doctors being absolute fuck ups, one was a pain pill addict who was hopefully forced to retire and the other a complete fraud PA you know what sometimes stereotypes are actually warning signals because they were the second person from Scamtopia to screw us over, and not wanting to spin the wheel of antibiotic resistance I know when to seek medical attention for myself.

Physical medical attention because my personal experience with mental help in my area has me... Sick of intake, wanting someone who at least has heard of and can consider exploding head syndrome, and wasn't born this century.

Seriously, knowing the difference between exploding head and drug real kept me together when I took dex cough syrup a couple of weeks ago, had to prove it wouldn't stop my coughing which it didn't, and something decided a Halloween remix of Daft Punk's Steam Machine was in order.

All in all I feel like I'm back to the base line of having no motivation what so ever. I just wish I knew that came with a frontal lobe brain injury a lot earlier in my life, would have helped a hell of a lot.

And it's not an uwu let me make a ticky tocky about it so I have an excuse to be lazy thing either because motivated or not I still make my bed, clean my environment, and take personal care of myself because I do know that it does me a world of good to have a baseline of a clean and healthy environment for everything i've got going on with me.