i have loved the stars too fondly

i love whenever theres a discourse around what kind of sex it is moral for heterosexual women to have (where the morality of the sex acts obviously fall onto the woman) not because it’s enjoyable, interesting, fresh, or remotely good for women or the feminist movement, but because you do get some immortal lines every time. from the recent twitter discourse, “enjoy the blowjob, but REFLECT on it” could be my tagline

I lowkey hate when programs talk to me in a friendly way. "don't worry, nearly there!" Shut up. It should say "loading 64.3% completed. Do not turn off device" and absolutely nothing else. You arent my friend you are computer. Act like it

[trying to flirt with ms frizzle] hey val. can i call you val? i've always liked how most of the working professionals you know appear to be homosexuals. how about you take a chance on me, and we can make some mistakes and messes at my place? [sniles] [she turns me down with a pun] [i walk dejected out into the parking lot] [The Bus runs me over]

trying to undress ms frizzle but when you pull off her dress there's a second, "lingerie-patterned" dress underneath

Stealing this from twitter but I liked the concept: put in the tags where were your 8 great-grandparents from (given modern borders) ?

fun fact about me: When I was 6 years old I sent so much hate mail to the president (the second Bush) that the mail carrier had to tell my mom I needed to stop before we got FBI’d

I was COMPLETELY unaware of the US political scene or why the adults in my life hated Bush, but I knew I hated him because he let people shoot wolves from helicopters and that’s mean and shitty

I also had a poor grasp on how stamps worked, so given that I wasn’t allowed to continually throw money away by putting stamps on my presidential hate mail, a lot of the times I just drew squares with little pictures inside on the corner.

I think the british really popped off with "bloody" as an expletive but unfortunately I can't say it out loud in real life or I sound like a teeaboo from 2012

i’m screaming are teaboos an actual thing

happy almost ten years to my all-time favorite disability post on this braincell forsaken website