Reading in a Corner

Listen, I had top surgery because I thought I didn’t want big tiddies, but now I realize I do want big tiddies. Man tiddies. Big man pecs. The kind you know I have even though I’m wearing a baggy shirt. But that requires bulking up and I don’t know how to do that.

Gender dysphoria can be a way to realizing you are trans. On the other hand, I always figured I just didn’t like my breasts and was just self conscious about how I looked. It was only when I played a male character in a play for university that I understood what gender euphoria meant. There were so many actors that people referred to me by the character’s name and he/him pronouns instead. Gender euphoria helped me understand why I felt weird in my body. So when a trans person tells me that they don’t feel dysphoria or feel it only on occasion I still think of them as trans, because when I ask they say they experience euphoria and happiness when being perceived as their gender identity. I don’t understand why some trans people think others have to experience dysphoria to be trans. If anything why aren’t we happy about it? It’s awful feeling strange in your own body, so if someone doesn’t feel that we should celebrate!

I was fortunate enough to get top surgery yesterday. I am sore, in pain, and the drains are uncomfy, but I’m relieved to finally not feel dysphoric about my chest. This boy had a set of double Ds and couldn’t bind, so super happy about where I am now!