my safe space

Long distance relationship is hard.

After spending nine days with my boyfriend of two years who I haven’t seen for a year, I asked myself, “Is this really worth it”?

Some nights are harder than others. There are times when I’m in bed just upset by the fact that he is not within arm’s reach for me to hug when I feel sad and times when I wake up from a nightmare, hoping he’s there to comfort me.

Some occasions just turn sour. There are times, for instance my graduation, when I wish he’s beside me to celebrate this joyous moment with me specially since he would be on the phone with me for hours just to keep me company while I study for exams and finish my projects and thesis.

And there are days when it feels like a lifetime. There are days when I walk by myself and subconsciously look beside me- hoping to see that guy who when he noticed I’m looking, will warmly smile and give me a forehead kiss. 

And it’s hard. It’s hard when you realize that this person is not beside you and cannot be physically with you unless one of you flies to see the other. It’s hard when there are times that just their presence would make your day. yet they’re not around It’s hard when you know that all you can do is wait for the next time you’ll see them again.

But to answer my question, “Is it really worth it”?

I believe it is. Out of 7.7 billion people in the world, God gave me someone halfway across the world to spend my life with. He gave me exactly what I prayed for: smart, funny, spiritual, family-oriented and tall - without needing to search for my other half. I guess it all boils down to patience and faith. The patience until we can be physically together forever and the faith that God will guide our relationship throughout the way.

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