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Do you ever worry that you have filled your mind with deluded concepts of being? Unnecessary luxuries, cars, clothes, items that eventually really have no meaning. The perfect body and the hair, and the perfect face. The perfect relationship. All handed to you by social media platforms where its all really a false narrative. When you finally meet your virtual idols they are nothing close to the image they painted and would rather be more like , you. I worry that instead of appreciating myself and my life I constantly compare it to a life I will NEVER have. Which can be perceived as a bad thing but its actually just a fact. 

Maybe its truly time to uninstall my instagram for a month or so again. But I really can't at times since I model and, “influence”. And need to project the image of something that I’m not quite aware of yet. Looking at old photos of myself  I often wonder why I was so “carefree” but in reality I just wasn't tied to the concept of performing for strangers on the internet. I was just being. And r in 2021 it’s really hard to get back the concept of being and not performing. Just being and not carefully recording it for the world to see and envy.