Or old age or something.
Or maybe old age And "something".
Today I read a tweet that amuses me in a good way: "Biologically, by 30, people have already given birth to children and died in the teeth of a predator, so after 30, everything in our body starts to fail in unison."
Scientific-unscientific is not the point, it just triggered once again to think about what kind of shit has been happening to my mind in recent years.
Procrastination reaches terrifying proportions. I might not be able to just post a show schedule or wash the dishes for WEEKS. The tab/dishes will dangle in front of my eyes, I will sigh heavily looking at them, tell myself "must" and โฆ do nothing about it.
Fine motor skills. Or rather, WRITING. Yes, for me, as a writer, this is a terrible scourge: not just typos, I sometimes write WRONG WORDS. I think it would be more correct not to throw it off on motor skills, since I can typo between Q and L, but on the brain in general and its understanding of what it is doing. Seriously, sometimes I just write WRONG WORDS.
Spontaneous stuttering. Everything is fine with my speech, I never had any problems with it: neither dyslexia, nor dysgraphia (to point 2), but here, it happens, I talk, I talk, and suddenly I CANNOT go through some kind of sound. As a rule, not a sonorant consonant, that is, one of those on which stuttering usually occurs. Well, I can't at all. Moreover, in the same word, there may be the same sound before it, and it is pronounced normally. It only helps to urgently choose a synonym. Jumps out like a jack-in-the box absolutely randomly.
Symptoms of ADHD, which I do not have (not diagnosed, not tested, we will assume that it is not). I'm talking about keeping fucking attention. I used to have some difficulties, yes, but I could complete part B or part C or write 5 pages of text before I needed a distraction. Now I'm starting to feel this need much more often. If you think that now I need to be distracted after each exercise, then hell there.
Not even after the written word. I CAN FALL OUT OF THE WORK IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIEROGLYPH. LITERALLY.
"reading a scroll but getting a funk hole". I'm having trouble reading. Most notably in Japanese, ใ and ใ, especially after [i] (i.e. ใ
and ใ), don't want to be read correctly. ใ instead of ใ, ใ instead of ใ. ใ does not join the party, but this couple resists both reading and writing, substituting each other. It also happens with kanji: I see one thing, I read another. And no, this is not about underlearning, this happens precisely with well-known elements of the language (come on, try to give me at least a hint that I just donโt know the ใ column, take a chance XD). In the native language, it manifests itself less due to the fact that we, as a rule, do not "read" literally, we "shoot" entirely, without reading the characters, that is, it flies directly to the reading / writing mechanism, and not to recognition.
And all this is connected with classes that give me the feeling that I live. I want to do them well.
In addition, the counting in my mind also flies into hell, I used to count relatively quickly, but now โฆ in the middle of counting, the thought just stops. Banal division/multiplication by 10 can stop me, can it be worse?โฆ
And it all seems like such a small thing, but it affects areas of my life that are important to me and โฆ makes me feel like a fucking unfit and helpless.
I seem to be drowning in this, and in the presence of a rotten desire to scoop out, I just go to the bottom.
tangentwithtanner
prguitarman
