this is the 7th time tumblr has broken my theme

Just saw my doctor type "FUCKED FOR LIFE" on my chart then he turned the screen away and stopped making eye contact with me

do y’all remember usernames??? from back when every fuckin website didn’t need your email phone number home address social security number just to join/sign up for something?? when you could make website-specific accounts that weren’t linked to literally anything else??? they tried to boil us like a frog slowly switching to “username/email” and then just asking for your email. but I remember. I remember usernames.

Getting down on my knees and thanking the humans who invented dishwashers and washing machines.

you are not immune to inventing an arbitrary set of rules that only you have to adhere to

did you know avoidance only makes all of your problems worse. no one has ever discovered this before

Calico out there putting tuxedo on the mats

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind