learning my autistic identity & reality

This is a long post containing information on what autistic meltdowns are, how to help them, what not to do, as well as suggestions of making them easier. This is helpful for autistic people and their loved ones.

Trigger warning: self injurious stims, brief police mention, brief hospitalization mention, ableism, and a brief death mention.                         

I hate Autism Awareness, but I love how autistic Jewish culture is. So I’m doing a webinar about that on Monday, April 3rd from 1-2pm Eastern time. (Wearing my rabbinic hat).

CART captions will be available. Webinar will be recorded. You can register here.

It’s that time of year again, and I decided to bring this gang back and redo the drawing I made last year

Now Through February, 2017:

20% of the proceeds from the I Heart Autistic Pride marble maze, pictured in the graphic above, will be donated to ASAN (Autistic Self Advocacy Network).

Whether you love someone who is autistic, love your autistic self, or simply want to support the cause, please consider purchasing a heart maze from my etsy shop.

stimmythings stimboard series

↳ a mirror cake stimboard! → requested by @mexicanjavelin

Be aware of your surroundings. Bright lights and too much noise are hell for autistic people. Is there anywhere quiet or dim that you could take them to if they got stressed? Is there a way to lessen the noise and/or brightness?

Don’t tell us to “stop acting weird”. Chewing on things, flapping our hands, rocking on our feet, and so on are all natural, healthy behaviours that help us to process emotion and sensory input. Telling us not to do them is akin to telling an allistic (non-autistic) person to stop smiling.

Most autistic people are happy as we are. Some would rather not be autistic, it’s true, but most of us just want to be ourselves without shame or stigma. It’s generally bad manners to talk to us about a “cure” or “treatments” for who we are.

Non-verbal communication – vocal sounds, text or written communication, sign language, etc – are all valid forms of communication which we sometimes have to use. (Or always have to use, in some cases.) Sometimes, we have to text the person sitting next to us because we can’t talk. Please don’t try to make us use our voices when we’d rather not!

Research autistic groups before supporting them. What do actual autistic people say about this group? We like self-advocacy groups, we don’t like allistic people trying to talk for us. Not every group that claims to help autistic people is actually our friend!

Special interests – things which autistic people fixate on and obsess over – are healthy and important. Don’t make fun of us for getting really into things, even if they’re “childish” things like Minecraft or Pokémon. It’s incredibly hurtful when someone we like just dismisses our interests without a second thought.

When an autistic person is having a meltdown or shutdown, listen to them! Don’t fuss over them or get up in their face. Just listen to what they want you to do to help them, if anything. Let them write or text it, if they have to, and keep your voice down!

We don’t process the world the same way you do. Sometimes things which seem obvious to you require explanation before we’ll understand them. Sometimes an explanation you understand will be one that makes no sense to us. Please be patient. We’re not being difficult on purpose! We want to understand, we really do.

Be understanding when we say we can’t do something. Our energy gets used up a lot quicker than yours. Often we’d really like to do something, but we just can’t, and it can be difficult for us to explain that. Don’t guilt trip us for not going out or whatever – we already feel really bad about it!

Listen to our boundaries. If we don’t want to be touched, don’t touch us. If we want you to leave our possessions alone, leave them alone. If we aren’t up to talking, don’t try to make us talk. We need boundaries a lot more than you do, so please try to respect them. It’s common courtesy!