Kiana Khansmith
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@limetreesanctuary
I babysit a three-year-old.
Reluctantly, she brushes her teeth.
She picks out five bedtime books, she cannot read but she has them memorized. 
She falls asleep.
Her mother turns the key, I drive to my apartment, change my clothes with my own hands.
Reluctantly, I brush my teeth .
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Love is a war, as I’m sure you must know,
I’m sorry I’m dragged in and throwing my throw
I don’t mean to change us or cause any harm,
I’m just trying to show you the way that things are
I know that he hurt you, that you’re not alright
but how can a devil, feel so damn right
just know I was here, or I tried anyway
he’s pulling me close and it’s too hard to stay
cause his eyes make me weak, where I know you’d be strong
but I can’t even breathe, or think of what’s wrong
cause I’m stuck in his love, trying to get myself out
cause I’m stuck in his love, and it’s bringing us down
and his voice makes me melt, though I don’t think it should
and I’m hating myself, cause I know that I would
cause I’m stuck in his love, and it’s sad you’re around
cause I’m stuck in his love, and I’m not getting out
and oh I said I’d be here I know that I did
Don’t want to be someone who just ran and hid
I guess that I’m sorry, I hope that’s enough
I’m sure watching me kissing him must feel tough
but I know that he’s happy, and I know I am too!
and it suck that our happy means life without you.
but I promise at one time I loved you to death
I hope you still find it to call me your friend
cause his eyes make me weak, where I know you’d be strong
but I can’t even breathe, or think of what’s wrong
cause I’m stuck in his love, trying to get myself out
cause I’m stuck in his love, and it’s bringing us down
and his voice makes me melt, though I don’t think it should
and I’m hating myself, cause I know that I would
cause I’m stuck in his love, and it’s sad you’re around
cause I’m stuck in his love, and I’m not getting out
Campfire light
I have so many reasons to say no You give me So many reasons to ignore that impulse In the campfire light, when the fire’s so bright How could I
I have So many things I have to do You give me A stupid feeling I should do those with you In the campfire light, when my hearts on fire Why can’t I?
Those guitar strings and quiet things Crackle all away into the night sky The laugh we need, it’s plain to see You’re the apple of my eye
We have Glances like fireworks, smiles like suns You give me So many reasons to think you’re the one In the campfire light, I guess you just might Be that find
We have Hours like minutes as walks turn to runs You give me A new meaning , a new kind of fun In the campfire light, I know it’s just right One of a kind
Those guitar strings and quiet things Crackle all away into the night sky The laugh we need, it’s plain to see You’re the apple of my eye
I have So many reasons just to love you so You give me So many more and I know you know So I pray with all my might Thank god for all those things he’d do Cause in the campfire light I saw you
Boy, I was crazy for you, from the second you left me
The hour you were cruel
Boy, I was hungry for you, from the moment you tossed me
to the shelf like a fool
like a toy on the ground, honey why don’t you need me
why aren’t you around
And I reached out to you, the minute you left me,
now aint that the truth
OH I wish I could blame you, but don’t we all
Oh I wish I could blame you, but I’ll take the fall for you
Ooh, my eyes were too cold, till it got the best of you
yet they followed you home
Subaru, turn the key and you’re home, oh how mature of you
to drive home alone
So, hard to feel the unknown, take pieces of you
as you’re crumbling slow
Oh, as I watched your heels go, I could finally love you
and ain’t that how it goes
OH I wish I could blame you, but don’t we all
Oh I wish I could blame you, but I’ll take the fall for you
OH I wish I could blame you, but don’t we all
Oh I wish I could blame you, so it’s not my fault
None of the dates matter anymore 😂
I just wrote three sonnets in class
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Sonnet for a Monster
Open up a vein to take my blood But do not feel upset if it runs black For once the clearest spring has come to mud Let me never drink or set foot back For every dragging hour my heart grows cold And every waking minute my soul sinks and every bloody word this tie grows old And every step is wobbling on the brink No do not take me for a bloody fool I can feel my boiling veins inside me And I can hear each poison word like drool Not a cage in this whole world could hide me Am I truly ones beloved monster? Or am I to leave you broke and haunt her?
Sonnet for a cause that's lost
I’ve come so far to not care that I’m right Not care that you are writhing on your floor My mother says this sad dramatic plight Is just like all the ones she’s seen before
So why is it that this all feels so real So ready just to leave you in the dust For fitting to a checklist to appeal And fading to the back like we all must
Oh different was a word that we both faked For what you wanted not from what you had You don’t believe that this is love you’d make? How am I Arielle and not a fad?
Oh I will not stand by to be a joke And you will not stand by to watch me choke
Sonnet for a cause that's worth it
I did not say that I have not done wrong Did not ignore each punch aimed at your gut Or each kiss that forced you to sing those songs Or trace your arm till you made little ruts
I did not say that I was in the right I am too tired to fight that anymore Though my interrogation lights are bright What should you expect if you lied before
I did not ignore the things I’ve done here You did not pay me or you attention So these screams are not for me but you dear Till this prayer ends simple with an amen
It is not that sins aren’t here to nix it It’s because I’m through with trying to fix it
Today was the day, that I swear to God I heard you break from 20 miles away And hit the floor
No matter how you spin it You still deserved every minute And I just couldn’t Care less anymore
If you wanted you could break my arms And I would come home in a little cast But then I’d know without a great alarm We’d never last Anyway
Tonight was the night, I wish my bark lived to my bite And I could make you fight And lose to me
No matter how you say it No Silly prose or come what may you Couldn’t take the time To choose me
If you wanted you could break our bond And I would come home wrapped in little tears But then I’d know before you’re even gone I didn’t need you here anyway
You can take my bones And you can take my will And leave me all alone Out on some windowsill But I will not get hung On someone leaving me There is no song that’s sung If you deserve to be Alone
If you wanted you could break my heart And make me feel like nothing felt before Then I’d know before the sorrow’d start I didn’t need you anymore Anyway
If you wanted you could make it right Tell me that you care about me still Tell me that you’d work to make it fine If you’ve the will If you’ve the will Say you’ve the will Care for me still
Wasted
You didn't ask me to run away But I didn't ask you to stay You can hold her anytime you need There are a lot of things that I don't wanna be You don't deserve a single hair on my head Or any lyric, any whisper, I said Such a waste Such a waste of good potential Hands on her waist All I can be is sentimental And your small sweet nothing lies are all I see You are such. a. waste. of. me.
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Unfinished Girl
She was broken, living in her mind Wants to drive to San Francisco and run every red light On the way, run away And she'd say, she was going to She was not proud she was not proud That little left turn held up like a gun But she couldn't pull the trigger They're were errands to run everytime she drove by She felt like she was going to She felt her foot press up against the gas, It was not loud it was not loud
With you
Being with you it’s so hard to think Watching the bubbles rise in your drink Hearing you singing, I swear it’s for me Being with you it’s so hard to think
Listening to you, it’s hard not to lie Telling myself that you’re on my side You’d understand if you saw your smile Listening to you, it’s hard not to lie
Laughing with you is no more than hell And nobody else could know you as well So Laughing with you is no more than hell As you kiss each bruise and ring each bell
Talking to you its hard not to preach Your counter remarks all just out of reach Dark as a plum and sweet as a peach Talking to you its hard not to preach
Being with you its so hard to think With every moment right on the brink Cheers me politely, smile and clink Being with you its so hard to think
Always
Im wondering what put me so each time I see you It's like you're the something that owes me my truth Easy and steady, deep breaths and counting I still have the one thing that makes me alright I'm wondering what took me to where I can hate you And the more that I do it just breaks me in two The ease in her eyes, she's waltzing and humming I'm sick of my heart losing things that aren't mine You better love that girl like she's your guardian angel She's the only reason that I think that they exist You better love that girl like she's your perfect anchor She's the only reason that I never looked like this You better love that girl like she's your guiding compass She's the only reason that I never fell off track You better love that girl the way that she deserves it You're the only reason that I'm never coming back I'm wondering if I could kill it if I would But half of my breath is speaking her name So what can you give more than all that she's wanting And what can you take more than all that she is I'm wondering if could tell you if I should That I never had to get out of your way So what can you take more than all that I'm wanting And what can you give more than all that I can't You better love that girl like she's your guardian angel She's the only reason that I think that they exist You better love that girl like she's your perfect anchor She's the only reason that I never looked like this You better love that girl like she's your guiding compass She's the only reason that I never fell off track You better love that girl the way that she deserves it You're the only reason that I'm never coming back And I'm always, always here Even if it breaks me down And I'm always, always here Since I was too young to understand I'm always, always here Even when she isn't anymore I'm always, always here And you better be here too Always.
Silver Lining
Build me up, break me down You're the life of boxed up love And the death of me Take me up, take me out Cover me in sugar and I'm still in pieces Make me move, make me sing Watch me like a film and find When I flash my teeth Sweet Hepburn, dare James dean Rose rimmed aviators hold Ground beneath my feet Gripping to the silver lining Hanging from the clouds Gripping to the silver lining In the early hours So Whatcha gonna do there When there isn't much to hold Close your eyes when it gets cold Black as night, drowning slow In the sky we used to know Oh you left the stars Crop me out, let it go In the sky we used to know Oh I kept the stars
The King of Me
I gave you my heart before you could say a word I gave you my arms to hold at night I gave you my feet to serve your beck and call I gave you my life and God knows why Oooooh, Oooh, aahh. Oooh, yeah I gave you my hands for the times you were stricken Though you couldn't dream how stricken I was I gave you my word and my kiss and my being I gave you my life and God knows what Oooooh, Oooh, aahh. Oooh, yeah OOOHHH yeah yeah yeah . Yahhhh, yahhhh. And you dug me 6 feet under ground As you conquered all my sky And I worshipped every word you preached Till you ran out of lies And I watch my king drop to his knees And dare to ask me why I let him fall Oooooh, Oooh, oh. Oooooh, Oooh, oh.
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Unfinished Blue Blood
He was taken by the flutter of her eyelids, breathing in the way she laughed too loud He was shaken by the theater and a good kiss, blue blood pumped through argyle sweaters With a loving embrace since the fourth grade, blue lines on the white paper gossip With a chain and a bow and a first name, Singing, god are you sure I deserve it Breaking skin breaking ice breaking boundaries, Breaking so much it don't hurt anymore wanting money and girlfriends and car keys Something somewhere that can make it feel better reading through coded letters and long sleeves things that the young ones don't know As he noticed her jeans with the ripped knees Singing sometimes it's hard to be so close
My eyes, my mind