π how to tell loved ones about your regression! π
βοΈπΈπΌπβοΈπΈπΌπβοΈπΈπΌπβοΈπΈπΌπβοΈπΈ
being a secret regressor can be pretty difficult!! especially if your family doesnβt give you personal space to regress, or if youβre unable to get regression gear to help you regress because of said family! and sometimes just telling them may be easier so you no longer have to hide it!! but first, iβd like to say that you DO NOT NEED TO TELL THEM!! itβs your business, and completely your choice!! your regression is 100% valid even if no one knows about it!! and if you donβt think itβs safe to tell them, then donβt!! your safety matters more!!
so, before you tell your loved ones about your regression, itβs a good idea to think about why you want to tell them, if itβs safe for you to tell them, and how telling them will affect you. after giving these things some thought, you can then consider these ways of explaining it to your loved ones!
β’ have a friend or partner explain
β’ sit down in a comfortable environment, and tell them face-to-face
β’ tell them over a phone call
β’ send them an informational website link or social media post (be sure to read it before sending it so that it accurately describes what agere is to you!!)
some things you might want to mention to them:
β’ how it helps/has helped you
β’ what agere is not. (e.g., agere is NOT k!nk, etc.)
β’ when you first started regressing
starting the conversation:
(whether itβs over text, in person, through letter, etc!)
β’ you could pretend to not know much about it to hear their opinion. like, βhey, have you ever heard of age regression?β , βi just found out about this coping mechanism recently, and iβm thinking i might want to try it..β ,or βwhat do you think about age regression?β.
β’ if you havenβt been doing well recently, you could start off by explaining one of the βbig things that has been helping you copeβ (age regression). you could say something along the lines of βyeah, itβs been rough lately, but iβve actually found an incredibly helpful coping mechanismβ¦β
β’ be honest and open with them. you could start off with: βto be completely honest with you, i feel embarrassed talking about thisβ¦β, βtalking about this topic is hard because iβm afraidβ¦β , βthis conversation is difficult for me because (xyz), but i want to tell you anyway.β
β’ you could also be very forward, and straight to the point with them, if thatβs what you want to do. you can say something like: βi wanted to tell you i am an age regressor. (then go on to explain it)β , βiβve been using a coping mechanism called age regression.β (explain, or clear up any misconceptions).
speaking of misconceptions, here are the most common ones youβll probably want to clear up:
β’ age regression is NOT sexual in any way
β’ age regression is for everyone
β’ age regression is NOT the same as ddlg/abdl/etc
β’ age regression doesnβt mean youβre regressed 24/7
β’ the relationship between a caregiver and an age regressor is NOT a power exchange.
questions you should be prepared to answer:
the person youβre telling may have some questions for you! i found that these were some pretty common ones you might want to keep in mind!
β’ βwhere did you learn about age regression?β
β’ βhow is it different from ddlg/abdl/etc?β
β’ βis age regression safe?β
β’ βhow does it work?β
β’ βshould i treat you any differently?β
β’ βwhen did you first realize you started regressing?β
β’ βis this something i can tell other people?β
β’ βhow can i treat this topic respectfully when speaking with you about it?β
(big thanks to a couple of my close non-agere friends who helped me come up with these questions!!)
βwhat if they react badly?β
if the person youβre telling has a bad reaction, that is not your fault! iβd say the best thing you can do is not to get upset with them! but instead try to educate them when you can. donβt forget that itβs your coping mechanism, and itβs there to help you.
i rlly hope this helps anyone who is thinking about telling their friends/family/etc about their regression!! remember that even if no one knows about it, your regression IS VALID!!!
βοΈπΈπΌπβοΈπΈπΌπβοΈπΈπΌπβοΈπΈπΌπβοΈπΈ
