lilliesthings

It was like a dam broke and suddenly everything is on the table and Morgan needs to know that he knows

I was like “he did NOT call him that!!” until I remembered the “Excuse me? Did you just call me a dog?” scene lol

I also think about early Moreid a lot anon! And the one thing I keep coming back to is like. I know it’s a common hc that he would have initially avoided Morgan bc he felt like a jock type, and I’m still trying to work out how their very inital meeting would have went (for a WIP)

But from what we see in S1 he is so comfortable around Morgan and vice-versa, Morgan (who has his own hang-ups when it comes to men, esp authority figures) is comfortable around him for what I believe the same reason : neither feels like a threat

And so they are trying to reach the other in their own (and in Spencer’s case: very awkward) ways which is honestly the most endearing thing I have witnessed.

And then Spencer was found with 3572 kind of drugs on his system in MEXICO. He is confused, and part of Derek wants to be angry at him for being so reckless, part of him wants to recriminate him like they did when they were younger....

Because obviously, having his work husband around would help relieve some of his grief, but that is one of 25725 things that make Spencer sad, a d Derek start to worry he Will do something stupid, like relapsing, or self insolathing, or put himself in danger pursofully-

But Spencer is looking at him for guidence because he is scared, and Derek knows Spencer's mind scares him; not only does it never let him forget anything in detail, but its also vulnerable to an millón déficits and the scariest illneses known to man.

And now his Freedom is taken from him and the man that always walked behind Derek is locked with a bunch of violent criminals that could and WOULD hurt him, and if they ever found out he was a Fed.... But Emily insists Spencer refused to accept the deal since it would ruin his career and Derek can only think of how GIDEON dragged an stupidly young, stupidly in need of aproval genious HERE and the guy doesn't has the decency to be AROUND so Derek can tell at him and he can feel 10 times the quilt he felt during Revelations. Now who does Derek blame? God? Might as well.

And oh Spencer got him praying alot alright. Praying for his identinty to remain an mistery. Praying for the Unsub that actually did this to come out, praying for Spencer to resist-

omg yes 😢

and to me like, S12 Reid might be wiser (as I type this I suddenly realise the irony of saying it, believe me) but I think in S12 pre-Mexico, he has his defences down more than in S2, is deeply deeply in over his head in sadness now and has his emotions driving most of his decision-making, which is a terrible cocktail.

And the feeling of helplessness that would consume Derek omg. Revelations lasted 2 days during which they saw him on video how many times? 3? 4? But he was in prison, practically unreachable for three months. I think this is one of the worst things to deal with for Morgan, feeling helpless constantly for that long. Just knowing things could happen, are most likely happening every waking moment, and even if Spencer is not outed as a Fed there is still a myriad of possibilities ... and how much would he know of it?

and Derek praying that Spencer is familiar enough with the justice system and how prisons work to keep his head down and keep himself safe as much as humanly possible while they try to get him out.

but to no avail ... Because meanwhile Spencer is speed-running putting his life in jeopardy. And I don't know if it is lack of self-preservation or true desperation but like snitching? thinking that Luis would have gotten a beating for him? I would have loved to see someone be like "What the hell is this!" that wasn't his fellow inmates when it comes to these things. Seeing Derek be like "What were you thinking ..Did you even think...." and for that frustration to come to a boiling point but it would have been extremely short lived because Spencer was already kicking himself over and over anyways.

Also taking the deal because if he didn't, the FBI wouldn't want him anymore ties back so beautifully with the team's actions in S2 presumably being "we won't address this because he will lose his job if we do" ... while on the other hand he might lose his LIFE too which is the same-ish choices presented here. It's especially delicious with post S11 Derek who came to the conclusion that this job is not worth the price being paid for it, but that's only true if he has something outside the job isn't it?

And how would the visits go?? Would Spencer push him away because it's too hard to handle for the both of them? Because there's nothing Derek can do to protect him in the immediate moment and that's something neither want to acknowledge?

There's always this irony to me when I think specifically of early vs late seasons Spencer where early seasons he would have been like "the world is out to get me" understandably, as it has been his experience since having to care for his mother, and then finding out that there is maybe more than that and there are people who will have his back VS prison Spencer with this beautiful conviction that there is good everywhere and therefore Shaw is his friend that he trusts and will look out for him (for free!) and to be proven wrong.

Always found this specific part a little funny because of how vague they are purposefully(?) being. if two law enforcement officials showed up and said they wanted to talk about your son (that they don’t mention is their coworker yet) I think the reasonable conclusions to jump to would be either:

- said son is involved in a crime

- said son is dead