lilliesthings

And then Spencer was found with 3572 kind of drugs on his system in MEXICO. He is confused, and part of Derek wants to be angry at him for being so reckless, part of him wants to recriminate him like they did when they were younger....

Because obviously, having his work husband around would help relieve some of his grief, but that is one of 25725 things that make Spencer sad, a d Derek start to worry he Will do something stupid, like relapsing, or self insolathing, or put himself in danger pursofully-

But Spencer is looking at him for guidence because he is scared, and Derek knows Spencer's mind scares him; not only does it never let him forget anything in detail, but its also vulnerable to an millón déficits and the scariest illneses known to man.

And now his Freedom is taken from him and the man that always walked behind Derek is locked with a bunch of violent criminals that could and WOULD hurt him, and if they ever found out he was a Fed.... But Emily insists Spencer refused to accept the deal since it would ruin his career and Derek can only think of how GIDEON dragged an stupidly young, stupidly in need of aproval genious HERE and the guy doesn't has the decency to be AROUND so Derek can tell at him and he can feel 10 times the quilt he felt during Revelations. Now who does Derek blame? God? Might as well.

And oh Spencer got him praying alot alright. Praying for his identinty to remain an mistery. Praying for the Unsub that actually did this to come out, praying for Spencer to resist-

omg yes 😢

and to me like, S12 Reid might be wiser (as I type this I suddenly realise the irony of saying it, believe me) but I think in S12 pre-Mexico, he has his defences down more than in S2, is deeply deeply in over his head in sadness now and has his emotions driving most of his decision-making, which is a terrible cocktail.

And the feeling of helplessness that would consume Derek omg. Revelations lasted 2 days during which they saw him on video how many times? 3? 4? But he was in prison, practically unreachable for three months. I think this is one of the worst things to deal with for Morgan, feeling helpless constantly for that long. Just knowing things could happen, are most likely happening every waking moment, and even if Spencer is not outed as a Fed there is still a myriad of possibilities ... and how much would he know of it?

and Derek praying that Spencer is familiar enough with the justice system and how prisons work to keep his head down and keep himself safe as much as humanly possible while they try to get him out.

but to no avail ... Because meanwhile Spencer is speed-running putting his life in jeopardy. And I don't know if it is lack of self-preservation or true desperation but like snitching? thinking that Luis would have gotten a beating for him? I would have loved to see someone be like "What the hell is this!" that wasn't his fellow inmates when it comes to these things. Seeing Derek be like "What were you thinking ..Did you even think...." and for that frustration to come to a boiling point but it would have been extremely short lived because Spencer was already kicking himself over and over anyways.

Also taking the deal because if he didn't, the FBI wouldn't want him anymore ties back so beautifully with the team's actions in S2 presumably being "we won't address this because he will lose his job if we do" ... while on the other hand he might lose his LIFE too which is the same-ish choices presented here. It's especially delicious with post S11 Derek who came to the conclusion that this job is not worth the price being paid for it, but that's only true if he has something outside the job isn't it?

And how would the visits go?? Would Spencer push him away because it's too hard to handle for the both of them? Because there's nothing Derek can do to protect him in the immediate moment and that's something neither want to acknowledge?

There's always this irony to me when I think specifically of early vs late seasons Spencer where early seasons he would have been like "the world is out to get me" understandably, as it has been his experience since having to care for his mother, and then finding out that there is maybe more than that and there are people who will have his back VS prison Spencer with this beautiful conviction that there is good everywhere and therefore Shaw is his friend that he trusts and will look out for him (for free!) and to be proven wrong.

Always found this specific part a little funny because of how vague they are purposefully(?) being. if two law enforcement officials showed up and said they wanted to talk about your son (that they don’t mention is their coworker yet) I think the reasonable conclusions to jump to would be either:

- said son is involved in a crime

- said son is dead

Idk about the love interest angle because I genuinely don’t think they will dare kill Rebecca and she’s the only one left (idk actually. I didn’t watch the new season).

True, I’ve been thinking too that they’re not gonna be too eager to let go of the ability to be like “heey he is possibly there” with all the ‘as far as I’m concerned his desk stays there’ interview and all.

I think the main condition for that to happen would be if mgg ever confirms that he isn’t coming back, which we don’t know at this point.

- cme seems to rely a lot on “kill someone close to current main character” as a clutch to create drama and pull emotions from the audience every season and we are running out of someone close to current main characters

- they also seem to like recycling plotlines (unsub memory loss like in tabula rasa, garcia pleading against someone getting death penalty,..) so why not recycle the good old Gideon once again

Post William leaving we know he canonly went above and beyond to come across as “not a problem child”, doing extra work at school, trying to appear as self sufficient possible (and by necessity) to make sure no other adult feels the need to step in and see his real situation.

Before William leaving is a little nebulous to me because Diana was definitely on high alert about Gary Michaels, also weren’t she and William fighting about it? But he probably didn’t believe her if she had to approach the other parent ..

My headcanon really is that since William wanted Spencer to be more “normal”, he might have been the one to push him to be there like “go! Just go in the park and socialise with people! That’s what kids should be doing!”