dragonfruit

he looks up. his eyes are warm, but serious. intense, even.

“you drive me insane,” he murmurs. “you leave the shower light on. you forget where your charger is every day. you sing off-key when you think i’m not listening.”

you breathe stops, and before you can muster up a sentence, he says again.

“and i love you like i’m sick with it.”

you feel like your stops, with blood rushing up to your cheeks you really don’t know if you can handle this anymore. his thumb brushes over your knee.

“and if you say dumb shit like that again,” he says, voice low, “i might have to marry you again, just to prove a point.”

you open your mouth, ready to sass him back, but he leans in before you can.

his hand finds your waist, warm and rough from hours of sanding wood. his other hand cups your jaw, thumb brushing the corner of your mouth like he’s mapping it out. like he missed it all day. like he needed this more than food or rest or sanity.

and then he kisses you. not a soft peck. not a tired brush of lips. it’s full. warm. deliberate.

his mouth slides against yours like he’s finally off the clock, like this is his reward — the only thing that makes the bruised knees and splinters and forgotten lunch worth it.

your fingers twist into his shirt instinctively. his thumb brushes down the side of your neck as his lips move against yours with something a little hungry, a little breathless, but still so stupidly in love.

you pull away for air, lips tingling, chest rising in soft, quick breaths. your fingers are still fisted in his shirt, and he looks up at you like you just knocked the wind out of him — which, to be fair, you did.

jay’s lips are red, a little kiss-swollen, and he’s breathing just as hard.

you blink, lips tingling. “so, i guess, you really do love me?”

“i love you when you talk too much,” he continues against your lips, grinning, “and when you ask dumb questions, like if i still love you.”

you let out a tiny gasp, equal parts amused and overwhelmed, and he pulls you even closer, your forehead pressed to his. your hands rest on his shoulders, thumbs brushing the slope of his neck.

“hey,” you whine softly, but he leans forward again and steals another kiss before you can complain further — short, warm, like a punctuation mark.

“i spend three hours building a closet,” he continues, kisses the corner of your mouth, “you sit here looking like a whole heart attack—” another kiss, this time near your chin, “—and then you ask—” kiss “—me—” kiss “—if i—” kiss “love you?” another kiss.

you laugh into his shoulder, hands slipping up into his hair, heart stopping “i just wanted to hear it.”

his lips curl, lazy and crooked. “you’re so annoying,” he mutters

your breath catches as he rests his forehead against yours, noses brushing, full of love. “god,” he mutters, eyes still closed, “you drive me insane,” he chuckles again like a reminder.

“you like it,” you whisper, a chuckle falling on your lips.

he smiles, just a little. then, without letting go of you, he sinks to the floor.

kneels. infront of you.

his arms wrap around your waist, cheek pressing softly to your thigh. he exhales against the fabric of your shorts, like being close to you settles everything.

you run your fingers through his hair, slow. comforting. he hums under his breath, content and quiet, letting his body relax against your leg.

“this okay?” he sighs, his lips tickling your skin as he grins on it.

you nod, resting your hand on his cheek. “yeah,” you smile. “more than okay.”

his lashes flutter as he closes his eyes again.

and there you sit, a half-finished vanity in the corner, a husband with sawdust on his arms and love in every touch, and a kiss still tingling on your lips like a promise that never gets old.

your heartbeat is still racing a little. his breaths are slower now. calm. heavy.

“i love you,” he says eventually, voice muffled and slept against your thigh.

you smile. bend forward and kiss the top of his head, “i know. i love you more.”

스루 ܃ uploading this from my college library .. chem i hate you 😞 feedbacks are very much appreciated !

When you stepped into the apartment you shared with your boyfriend, he was on you before the door clicked shut. You immediately gasped as his arms coiled around you, his lips on your neck, and his hands kneading your breasts.

"Babe...," you started, lashes fluttering at his heated touch.

Yudai growled between kisses, "You should have seen how they were looking at you."

You blinked in surprise. "Who?"

"Everyone," your boyfriend hissed, impatiently pawing at your dress until he could get his hand inside and cup your breast, thumbing at your nipple.

It was safe to say, you hadn't noticed. You only had eyes for Yudai when you were with him, and even when you were apart. No one in your life could captivate your attention like he had.

"I only care how you look at me," you told him seriously, reaching back to wind your fingers through his hair. You made a little noise when he proceeded to bruise your neck with his perfect lips and teeth. You'd wear any marks he gave you with pride.

Yudai wanted to reward your loyalty so bad he didn't know what to do with himself. Knowing he had found someone that matched his energy, that lived and breathed for him just as he did for you, made his cock painfully hard.

But shoving his dick in you, no matter how eagerly you wanted it given you were rubbing your ass against his crotch already, would be a bit selfish on his part, he thought.

You cried out when Yudai whipped you around and pushed you against the wall, your shoulders colliding with it harshly. Everything he did to you set you on fire, especially when he was rough.

Yudai smashed his lips on yours, kissing you like he was starving, and began gathering your dress in his hands.

When he suddenly broke from the kiss and dropped to his knees at your feet, your eyes went wide. Having the most powerful person you'd ever met on the ground prepared to worship you made you ache.

Yudai kept his eyes locked on yours as he steered your leg over his shoulder, and he still didn't break your gaze when he buried his face in your pussy. You'd been cradling his face in your hand and you quickly tangled your fingers in his hair, your head falling back as you whimpered his name.

Oh, fuck, was a constant chant in your head. Yudai was eating your pussy like his last meal, his eyes constantly finding yours, because he craved seeing the pleasure tense up your features.

When you started squirming, Yudai grabbed your other leg and pushed it over his shoulder. Now, with both your feet off the ground, there was no way for you to escape. Not that you wanted to.

You were in heaven. Your fingers wound tightly in his hair. Your noises pitched higher and higher. His mouth and tongue felt so good, your eyes rolled back and your toes curled.

Yudai pressed you into the wall and held onto your hips, supporting your weight like it was nothing. He was obsessed with how you tasted, and the sounds you made. He could feel his dick leaking in his pants, eager to stretch out your perfect pussy.

"I'm gonna come," you warned him, feeling him groan into your sex when you tugged on his hair a little too hard. Nothing was too hard for Yudai. He would let you snap him in half as long as he got to watch you orgasm on his tongue.

Yudai hummed against your cunt, setting out to finish you. Licking and sucking and swallowing every drop until there was nothing left. He was so vicious it shocked you.

When he finally pushed you over the edge and you came, you clamped both thighs on his head and howled his name, hearing it echo through the apartment and back into your ears, because fuck, his name was all you knew for the moment. Your body pulsed and shuddered; you squirmed and clenched on him, and Yudai was living for it.

Honestly, he wanted you to crush his skull with your thighs. Dying with his face in your sweet cunt would be a hell of a way to go out. He'd want it written on his gravestone that he left this world expertly sucking an orgasm out of you. Yudai chuckled at himself a little bit, finally realizing just how pussy drunk he was.

You slumped back against the wall, your thighs softening their grip on his head. You slowly untangled your fingers from his hair and panted for breath, waiting for the ringing in your ears to fade. You kept your eyes closed, daring not to look at Yudai and the undoubtedly insane hunger on his face.

Yudai was staring up at you like he'd seen god and she'd just come all over his face. Do it again, he wanted to say, but instead, he kept a careful hold of you as he gathered you in his arms and carried you to the bedroom.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and kissed the base of his neck softly, filling with so much lust for him it made your blood burn through your body. "Fuck me," you whispered in his ear. It was a demand, not a request.

"I will," your boyfriend said as he dropped you onto the mattress, making it bounce. The two of you hurriedly got your dress up and over your head, discarding it to the floor.

As you unfastened your bra, Yudai pulled his thick, hard cock out of his pants and you spread your legs invitingly at the sight, but he didn't waste any time dropping to his stomach and burying his face in your pussy again.

You cried out his name, slapping a hand over your mouth to stifle a scream when his lips wrapped around your sensitive clit. Your fingers tangled in his hair and you tried to pry him off, but Yudai wasn't having it.

He sank his hands into your thighs and went to work, sucking you dry like it was his mission in life. Not until you were thrashing through another orgasm did Yudai even consider stopping. Licking up your slick, Yudai peered up at you, loving the view of you trembling from his place between your legs.

"Fuck, baby," you sighed, so far gone. He'd made you come until you were boneless, not a single thought in your mind except him. You felt fuzzy and dazed, like you were high on him, because Yudai was definitely a drug made just for you.

Yudai sat up and hissed, "I could tongue fuck this pussy all night." As he spoke, he gathered your legs in his arms and bent them toward your body, telling you to hold them, which you did, slipping your hands into the bends of your knees.

The moment two of his fingers pressed into your pussy, your whole body clenched, your walls tightening. Yudai smirked at how sensitive you'd become and bit his lip, staring down at you with enough heat in his eyes to burn the house down.

He pumped his fingers in and out of you leisurely, covering your cunt with his mouth again, torturing your bundle of nerves with his lips, slick with your release. When you let go of your legs to grab onto his hair, Yudai turned his head and sank his teeth into your fleshy inner thigh.

"Please, fuck me," you whined, desperate for his cock now like you couldn't go one more second without it. "Please, Yudai."

Yudai was rolling his hips, grinding his cock into the mattress for friction. Every thrust of his fingers in your pussy had his dick twitching and your sweet begging finally pushed him over the edge. He crawled up your body, spread your thighs apart with his big hands, and impaled you with one smooth stroke.

You grabbed his shoulders for purchase and moaned his name, which made Yudai reward you with another hard thrust. His eyes locked onto yours and he fucked you slowly and deeply, using his body to worship you.

"I'm never gonna want anyone as much as I want you," Yudai confessed suddenly, drunk on you; your taste and your touch.

You ran your hands through his messy hair, grabbed the nape of his neck, and pulled him down for a kiss as his hips collided into yours, whispering between kisses, "Use me."

Yudai pumped his cock in your tight pussy, the heat of you overwhelming him. "Fuck," your lover groaned lowly, his eyes full of stars. "How are you so perfect for me?"

And the God from above, his ever-seeing eye on you, following your movements, reading your thoughts. He was everywhere, you couldn't hide from Him. His presence was the most evident in His creation, for some it was nature, the mountains, the sea or the desert, but for you it was one specific piece, one that came last in His genesis, one that was by Greeks made from clay and water and given life.

It was a man. There wasn't a better example of his genius from that one and it wasn't any man you were talking about, it was somebody special. Somebody whose beauty rivals that of angel's.

He was the most perfect, an incarnation of all your flesh's desires but he was the most prohibited of them all.

You cursed the day you met him, what kind of providence leads you to him only for him to never be yours. You could have anyone you wanted, no stranger to gazes of other men, of their interest, but no, your body and soul belonged to none other than him. The priest.

Now, you weren't the most of religious of people, but you prayed, you prayed till your brain started to bleed, your cry to Heaven, strong and desperate. Somehow, the Heavens never answered, so you decided to change the place of your prayer, from your bed to a cathedral. The tall, gothic walls, only induced you anxiety, the grandness of the place suffocating you, but still you went.

There you saw him, illuminated by the sun rays which were creeping through the stained windows, he was just exiting the confessional, dressed in all black, as a priest would be, his white clerical collar stark contrast to the rest of his clothing. Two sharp, eagle like eyes greeted you, they were the darkest shade of brown, almost black, you swore he saw right through your soul with that gaze alone. Penetrating and all consuming, he saw through your desperation, your call for help. He thought who was this girl that had such sorrow and defiance in her eyes? He could see, it was a gift if you could say, he knew your pain.

The eye contact was a lot of shorter than you thought it was, ending quickly but the impact it left on you was immense. You wanted to fall on your knees right there and then, weep like a child.

You thought you weren't a sinner by any means, but in his gaze you felt like the worst of them all, because deep down in your core you felt a strike of desire. It was brief but strong, an instinct of a sinner awakening.

"Do you need any help?", when Jay looked back and thought, he swore that the devil himself made him utter those words. Now, he was a holy man, but the devil preyed like a tiger on anyone, waiting to attack.

You needed a minute to realize that he was indeed referring, to you.

"I just, I came for a visit, to see the architecture, I mean.", you scrambled for an answer,cheeks turning pink.

A liar. He thought, a beautiful one at that. Where did that adjective come from? He set his face with a neutral expression.

"So you are not one of the followers?", he inquired, raising his eyebrows.

"No, I'm a just a visitor.", you concluded, serious about not telling him the real reason you were there.

"Well, then feel free to look around.", he said, faint smile on his lips, "If you change your mind I'll be in the back.", then he left, leaving you alone. A feeling of emptiness remaining.

That was your first meeting.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

"Why are my prayers not working, father?", you questioned into the silence, lips slightly trembling while uttering those words.

Jay sighed in response, that was a heavy question, even for him, no matter how often he heard it.

What made you come and ask him this? You yourself were unsure, but few weeks passed and your feet have only been leading you to one place. You found yourself visiting, once, twice and then everyday, sitting at the pew, staring at the cross above you. Sometimes you bowed your head, resting it on the cold wood, not thinking, not praying just resting. Jay saw all of that, the way you gazed at the floor, absent. He saw you resilience in coming here, but why weren't you reaching out to him? He could help you, at least he thought he could. A talk never hurt no one, especially with someone as educated as him.

You simply couldn't, this place became familiar to you, and man residing in it, but you were not ready for conversation. Something changed all that, nothing grand or special. Something moved you, unknown, one second you were at home the next you were talking with him. You felt as if you were going to die, if you didn't do that. Maybe just maybe, that force was him, him in his prayers, him at night that thought of you.

He knew that someone like him shouldn't think of a woman that much, especially before sleep, but you have woven your place into his thoughts, your sad eyes, your presence daily in the church. He just wanted to help you, that's what he told himself, even when you sneaked your way into his evening prayers.

"It is often that what we pray for is not aligned with God's will.", he answered gently, as if he was afraid that if he raised his voice a little more you would run away. You looked so scared asking him that, it tickled something inside of him.

"But how do I know what is God's will?", you said, solemn expression on your face.

You were both sat at table in the room where he usually did paperwork for the church, prepared for his sermon and so on. The air smelled like something stale, ancient was there, it was probably the old paint on the walls and the paintings which were there for generations.

"You just need to get close to Him and let yourself be led.", Jay said, serious, he continued:" But... leave all the pride behind and be humble.", now he thought that was going to hurt, that was your problem, he saw it in your eyes, but he had to be honest with you.

Something changed in your eyes, he recognized it as arrogance.

"Why are only my prayers not humble, when people around me get all that they want and more!", your tone was emotional, ready to argue. You were sick of all that talk, it seems like you always wanted what you couldn't get , hopeless. You were the only who God didn't like, it was like that.

"It's..., he started but you didn't let him finish, fed up. "You know what, all of this is stupid, I shouldn't have come here.", you started to get up, taking your coat from the chair.

"Wait!", he almost yelled, getting up as well, he added hurriedly:" I'll do the research for you, I'll help you, just promise me you'll come here again."

Jay was a gifted priest, yes, but he was also still young, oblivious to some things in his profession, he might have missed something, something that could help you, he was going to consult with someone older, he was going to study more.

You looked at his eyes, there was a speck of desperation in them, you knew it too well. It disappeared in a second, like the light was playing tricks on you but you knew what you saw. His words didn't soothe you, didn't even come close to helping you, but then you looked at him again. At the black of his clothes, the shadow he cast over the wall, at his brown hair, golden in the sunlight. Suddenly, a sense of calm washed over you, you couldn't name it, but it was there, present in the silence. If you strained you ears more you could hear his breathing.

He was there in front of you, in flesh, alive, blood the same as yours running through his veins. He was human.

That realization felt like a salvation finally coming to you. You were not alone anymore, there was someone else with you.

You couldn't be in that room anymore, you had to leave. Now. You grabbed your coat that was resting on your hands, put it on and stormed out of the room. No goodbye, no promise.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Jay was taking a walk, admiring the nature, how perfect his Creator made it and the way it rested his soul, like the most beautiful song. He felt the most inspired when he was outside, the fresh air clearing his thoughts and his focus returning. He was content with his life's calling, he loved what he was doing.

Then he saw a figure he got to know well, your hair flowing in the wind as you walked towards him. He noticed you first, you were too caught up in your thoughts, absent from the world around you.

It was the third day he hasn't seen you, ever since that talk in his office, you hadn't come.

You approached silently, his footsteps came to a stop, wanting to greet you.

"Hello.", he said, you lifted your head up, surprise in your eyes, then it turned to disappointment. You were not happy to see him.

"Hi.", you were ever the kind, choosing to greet back, but you continued to walk.

Jay moved his hand in front of you, stopping you. When he realized what he's done, he hastily removed his hand, as if he was burned.

"Wait, you still haven't come to talk.", he started.

"I didn't promise you, did I?", you fired back, annoyed.

"Then where are you going, as I know this is the path to church."

You looked up at him, surprise again gracing your gaze, you didn't even know you were headed in that direction, letting your feet guide your way. Somehow you ended up in the same place, with the same person again.

"I don't know.", you mumbled, defeated, luckily he caught the vulnerability in your voice before it drifted away in the wind.

He only smiled without showing his teeth, trying to comfort you.

The smile on his face was enticing and mysterious, you wanted to see more of it.

His cheeks were slightly red from the cold creating a pretty blush and his eyes turned warm brown. You weren't a painter by any means but then you wanted to immortalize that sight. It filled your heart with warmth.

"So are you going to visit or no?", he repeated the term you used on your first meeting.

"I guess I could but I don't want to talk."

"A deal.", he answered, letting you pass him by, watching your disappearing form for a long time.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You continued your visits to the church, just sitting there, relaxing, those tall walls became your home. It was as if only there your thoughts could run free.

Though not once did you attend the mass, you didn't like meeting people there, didn't want to hear them praise and sing. The silence was enough for you, the closest you felt to divine.

Jay's presence became like a steady hum in the background, like white noise. Even when you didn't see him, you knew he was near, somewhere in his room.

Sometimes, when you didn't know, when you were too caught up in your stupor, he observed you from afar. He was only taking a break from work that was it, even though that was part of it as well. He wanted to break your walls, to get to you.

Where did that desire come from? It must have been God. It was innocent after all, right?

He has been reading feverishly, all kind of religious books, writings from saints, anything he got his hands on. He wasn't aware of it but he has become obsessed with helping you.

Little did he know, there was another motive for the continuation of your visiting. Ever since you saw him in the street, surrounded by all the earthly things, like dirty benches and pavements with cracks in them. You saw him as part of that world too, in a different light, you saw him as a man.

A woman should never under any circumstances see a priest as a man. It was a sin.

Who are you to care about such a trivial sin, when you were forsaken already? No prayer of yours reached to God anyway.

Slowly, your gaze has changed, he didn't notice that because all of your interaction were brief after that happening in his office. But your eyes now lingered on his hands for example, on the veins that adorned them, on his slender fingers, his neatly trimmed nails.

You didn't just behold them, no, you imagined how they would feel inside of you.

Your gaze straying away from his face many times, focusing on his shoulders instead, how they filled the shirt he wore, strong and manly or how his Adam's apple protruded from his neck, bobbing as he swallowed, while he talked to you.

Yes, you two talked now. It wasn't about religious matters like before, he left that be, thinking someday he would reach to you but slowly. It was about your day, about something small, about how you liked dogs but didn't own one. About how you thought you were never going to have children, never going to marry. He only laughed at that, saying how you never know.

It was the first time you saw him full on laughing, his perfect pearly whites showing, a breath escaping him, so childlike, creases appearing at his cheek. Again, warmth spread all over your chest at the striking sight.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

One day you came to God's home at an unfamiliar time, it was later in the evening, the lights were on. The closer you got you could hear a faint melody coming from inside, you halted your steps, thought running through your mind that you shouldn't enter.

Curiosity got the best of you for you cracked the door open with clammy hands, taking a peek inside. Empty pews greeted you, but still a song could be heard. You then looked up to the small corner where usually piano was.

There they were, maybe a dozen young people were gathered around someone playing an acoustic guitar.You knew well who that someone was, you could recognize those clothes anywhere. His fingers were strumming the strings with care, his gaze was lowered on the instrument producing the beautiful sound.

You didn't know he could play, so well at that. You were starstruck, something about the whole atmosphere brought tears to your eyes, you quickly blinked them away. Closing the door, taking a deep breath in and leaving to your home. You couldn't come close, you didn't have the courage. Your awakening feelings were burdening you, now they even surpassed the simple crush turning into something deeper. You were afraid to death.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

It was your greed that made you move then. It wasn't God for he wouldn't approve of it.

You completely changed your wardrobe, before as it was winter it consisted of a long coat and jeans, nothing special. Now when it was approaching spring, you opted to wear dresses. Not any kind of dresses, those with lace that accentuated your figure. You wanted him to look, but he never did.

Jay thought nothing of the change, thinking you were only growing more accepting if your femininity. He saw that as a good sign, after all a woman should express herself as one. Also those dresses weren't inappropriate by any means, they were still fit for church, just different from your usual wear and Jay wasn't any kind of priest. He was a devoted one, God fearing, he wouldn't look at a woman with a lustful gaze.

Until he did.

One day, you came to him, saying how you were finally ready to talk but had one condition. It was to be at your home.

Jay might be kind hearted and seeing only the good in people but he wasn't stupid. He knew you could talk in his office just as well, he knew you had an ulterior motive, he just wasn't aware what.

He pondered for a long time whether he should go or not. On one hand it could have been innocent, you were kind of friends now, maybe you wanted a different atmosphere and so on, but then it could be a trap as well. His guardian angel whispered not to go as well as his intuition, but the devil tempted.

He has not forgotten about him, no matter how much he strayed away from sin, how much he devoted time for prayer he was still on Earth and so susceptible to his influence.

So he went.

He mentally got ready for all the questions you could ask, all the doubts you could have.

What he didn't get ready for was your motives because they were crafted by the evil one.

You wanted to seduce him, to make him break his promise to God, you wanted him, as a woman would want a man, carnally.

You didn't prepare much, just a small meal, wanting to offer it to him and some wine. You didn't want to make him drunk, just to loosen him up a bit also you weren't going to touch him first. You wanted him to come to you on his own will.

You were in the depths of yourself unsure, as you always were, is this going to work?

A knock resounded at the door. It was him.

You took a deep breath in, walking to the entrance, with a tremble in your hand you opened the door. Jay's face came into view, a welcoming glint in his eyes. You relaxed immediately, shoulders slumping.

"Come in.", you said, showing him in.

"Thank you.", replied, he carried a bag with him, it seemed thick.

His eyes fell on the table, surprised evident on his face.

"I didn't come here to eat though.", he said, slight question in his tone, he was confused.

Your heart beat was drumming in your ears, the tips of them turning red.

" I just, I thought you might be hungry.", you fumbled with your hands in front of you.

He noticed, he always did, his features softening.

" I came here to talk with you.", his voice was gentle bordering a whisper.

Why was he acting that way? It felt like he was crossing a line he shouldn't cross, being careful with you, being aware if every little change in your attitude.

Jay cleared his throat, composing himself.

"I won't eat, but I guess I could have some water, if you're offering."

You nodded your head, suddenly all your resolve crumbling. Things never went your way. Your dress which you changed into, he didn't even glance one time at it.

You didn't know, but when you turned around, he could see the back if your neck, your hair was gathered up. It looked so delicate and soft, he wondered what it was like to trail fingers down it.

There it was. Temptation has come.

Jay shook his head, willing the thoughts to go away, but they didn't want to, they already took root at the pit of his stomach.

He lowered his eyes, focusing on the floor instead.

"I have some wine.", you offered

"No, thank you.", he responded, still staring at floor, unsure of what to do with himself.

"You drink it at the mass though.", you insisted, some kind of courage coursing through you.

"That's not wine, that's the blood of Christ.", he said, turning serious, the lightness of the situation suddenly gone.

He finally sat, down, water in front of him, he opened his bag taking some kind of documents out.

You were not interested, your focus was on his fingers as they worked, shuffling the papers, gripping at them. Those same fingers that played the guitar last night, you wondered what kind of other miraculous things they were able to do.

He caught you in the act, his eyes falling for moment at his hands as well, then he lifted them up as if he hasn't noticed anything.

Slight tension was becoming palpable in the air.

"Okay, so you asked me about your prayers right?", he started.

"Yes.", you finally had the chance to stare at his eyes.

Honestly, you didn't even care anymore, given up on the whole God thing. You were just entertaining this friendship ,if you could call it that, just because you liked him.

"One of the problems could be unconfessed sin.", he continued, "You should come at confess, Y/N.", your name came out of his mouth without any honorifics, you liked the sound of it.

You only scoffed in response.

"I haven't killed anyone.", to you all of this conversation was humourous.

"I know.", how was he so sure, you thought.

"But, sin is not just murder, it's different for everyone.", he wanted to say something but he wasn't sure if it was appropriate, especially in your presence, but then again he's heard it from people many times. So he left all the hesitation behind. It was professional, after all.

He started to speak slowly, :"Lust of the flesh is a sin too, I'm not implying anything, just letting you know."

No, he was implying, if only he knew the thoughts which ran through your head when he wet his lower lip, tongue swiping over it. Okay, you might be a sinner in his eyes. Maybe he already knew, it didn't matter.

You weren't a kid, you knew he was talking about touching yourself, knew the stance which priests would have on it.

What you didn't expect is to talk about it with him, when you've already stained your sheets numerous times to the thought of him.

"What am I supposed to do when the need comes?", you questioned seemingly innocent. You waited for his answer with bated breath, something flashed in his eyes as always, then dissipated.

"You should pray to God for strength.", he said, serious as ever.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

He departed from your home after that, saying he hoped that he helped you, inviting you to mass and that's it. Wine not drank, food not eaten. You were feeling sad and frustrated. Maybe he just didn't see you like that, maybe he was a too holy of man to actually act on it.

You drank all the wine after by yourself.

The need to do something was overwhelming, you just didn't know what.

You fell asleep that night, alone and full of desire.

Jay, on the other hand, couldn't for the love of God get a wink of sleep.

He has gotten up many times to get on his knees and pray, then returning to bed, tossing and turning. He couldn't get the sin away from his mind, it clawed at him, lingered around him breathing into his ear.

He knew the lust well, from his teenage days, when like any boy's, his body was enveloped in some kind of fever. Recurring dreams taking place, waking up in sweat. It was nature he knew, but God's proximity was always there not letting him fall into temptation.

Then he got his calling, all of it stopping, he grew up somewhere between all of that.

The need didn't return ever since.

Until now, his head was plagued with images of you. Your pretty eyes graced with desperation, maybe a little teary from all the pleasure, mouth open, tongue peeking out.

No! The devil himself has weaved those thoughts in his mind, he was only being tempted. He could go through this, he had to.

In response his body burned even hotter.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

The next day he walked through the church with dark circles and a heavy body. He even stumbled across some words at the morning mass, he was completely out of it, that has never happened to him.

You didn't come that day, not the day after it either. All the while he was tortured each night, he was so frustrated, anger almost consuming him. He was never mad at God, but he was starting to ask himself why was he tempted? Just now, when everything came into place.

He couldn't forget your form, the smooth skin of your neck and now you weren't coming anymore, he wondered why.

He lay on his bed, the giant cross residing above it, watching everything from above.

He was wide awake once again, rosary clutched at his hand, his fingers feeling numb from how hard the held onto it. When the car passed the shadows danced along the walls, their light briefly illuminating his room.

The burning sensation spread all over his body and settling deep into the pit of his stomach. He forgot where he was in prayer, he didn't even realize he stopped, his thoughts consumed by you again.

You, on your back, facing the ceiling and him above you, resting on his arms. Your breasts were visible from your thin sleep wear, nipples hard.

He swallowed the saliva that pooled in his mouth at the mental image, beginning to strain against his pants. Fingers of his one hand inched closer to his crotch, the other gripped the beads even more tightly.

He has never been so terrified before, hand trembling, sweat dripping down his neck.

He grazed his hand against his hard on, just a little brush and groaned out at the contact. Pleasure overtaking him just from one touch. He did it again, palming himself over the pants.

He gritted his teeth, trying to keep the sounds in, but continuing his movements, now fully touching himself.

It felt so good, he hasn't experienced such ecstasy ever.

He imagined what you would sound like, what you would look like while overcome with pleasure, he wished you were with him, your hand on him instead of his own.

He was approaching his high steadily, he sensed it before it happened and wanted to cry out to Lord, to help him one last time before he sinned completely.

But he couldn't stop it, pleasure exploding inside of him, reaching the tips of his toes. Dark spot appearing at his pants, staining the fabric with milky liquid.

The beads of rosary snapped under his fingers, rolling all over the bed.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Where were your beautiful eyes now to comfort him? Why weren't you coming? Jay thought as he witnessed the first sun rays of a new day. The events of last night replaying in his mind. He has sinned, he has lusted after a woman. He was no longer pure, no longer the holy man everyone held him as.

He got up from his bed, remnants of his transgression still clinging to him. He changed into new fresh clothes. He fastened his collar, the whiteness of it reminding him even more of his betrayal.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror, there was a glint in his eyes that wasn't there before. Something has shifted. Jay only sighed deeply, running his hand through his hair, ruffling it.

Another day to get through, now all of it felt like a chore, the things in which he found enjoyment in, all of them seemed like a burden now.

Jay decided, it was a vile thing to do, but he is going to repent and then never stray into sin again, he was sure of it.

By the time sun set, his will turned to stone, he wasn't going to relapse again.

Enveloped in the evening you came.

You never appear this late, what happened, he was getting kind of worried. Again, that instinct inside of him.

You smiled when your eyes met his, as if you knew, as if you were then with him then, tempting him in flesh. Now, you didn't know, but you had an inkling, you knew that with your words, with your implications you planted a seed of something inside of him.

You just waited for it to bloom, leaving him on his own, you might have delved into the forbidden territory now but you weren't going to seduce him directly. You were too afraid to do that. You already gave in, entertaining the idea of being with him, of knowing him as a man, but only in your thoughts.

"Long time no see.", you started the conversation lightly.

"Is everything okay?", he asked, it was three days and three nights that he hasn't seen you.

"Just got caught up with work.", you lied, again.

"I see.", Jay mumbled, glancing at the prayer book held in his hand.

"I have a meeting in about 10 minutes, you can listen, if you want.", he offered.

You thought of leaving, but some kind of force moved you to say,: "I could.", part of you wanted to hear him play again, to witness it once more.

You didn't even notice but people were slowly trailing in the church, most of them were young, teenagers, it was a youth's meeting. You felt out place amongst them, not looking once at him and choosing to go to the farthest pew, where you could still hear the music.

Jay brought the guitar with him, starting to play, his fingers worked slowly, he began to sing as well. Sudden melancholy passed over you at hearing his voice, some feeling you've never experienced before, at that moment, you felt remorse for every lustful thing you've thought about him. You felt dirty and sinful for having touched into something so divine, so pure.

You hated on your nature, on your inclination to sin, but unbeknownst to you it wasn't only your nature at play.

He had that inside of him as well, no one was free from that. He might have gotten a call and he thought it was definite, but God above knows that something hidden in the depths of him, called out for you too.

"Your goodness will lead me home.", he finished the song, the one he wasn't singing for God anymore,no,he sang it for you only. His fingers didn't glorify Him anymore, his devotion was beginning to point towards you.

You wiped at the tears that emerged from your eyes, turned around and left, you couldn't bear it anymore.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

That's how it went for the few weeks, you weren't coming anymore to just stare at he floor and be in silence,you came to hear him. Both of you having almost no contact, aside from small nod here and there. You thought that was it, you have given up on God, given up on the priest. Part of you was satisfied to just watch from afar, but another one was angry. Jealous even. Even the small ounce of salvation you have gotten, it dissipated into thin air.

So you did what you thought was the best, you numbed yourself.

You partied, hard, you drank everything that came under you hands, the stronger burn the better. The haze in your mind comforting, warmth that spread through you blood addicting. Alcohol was your escape, men's touch as well, their stupid sweet words that only wanted to lure you in. You fell for it all, without care in the world, you gave in completely to any kind of cheap high that you could get. Even if it meant coming undone on the stranger's fingers, hiding in the shadowed corner of the street in front of the club.

There was one thing you didn't admit to yourself ever, but you felt it when you sobered up, the clearness in your mind letting you see it for a moment. You wanted to scream then but the feeling went away just as it came, you getting drunk again and forgetting about it.

It lingered though, always at the back of your mind, not once did you keep your eyes open, they were always closed, imagining someone else's fingers, someone else's eyes following your each movement. Sometimes when you dreamed, you dreamed of black clothes and the light filtering through the stained windows. Of the cross and the scent of old wood.

That's how you found yourself in the taxi, which you don't even know how you called, liquor running through your veins. He asked where to drive you and you slurred the address, already half asleep. The man asked you to repeat and you did, he only raised his eyebrows and drove off.

Jay has just been waking up, getting ready for his morning prayer. He couldn't deny that he missed you, you were not showing up anymore, but he thought that was the will of God, coming up once again and saving him from the temptation. He was sad for loosing a potential believer though.

As he was thinking, a sound of thumping reached him, it was dulled, as if it was at the front door of the cathedral. No one was coming in this hour, that must have been stray cat or something else. He brushed it off, but the sound continued and something else too, like a voice. Now, he had to go and check, he got up, still in his sleepwear.

Coming closer , he could recognize he words "stupid", "priest" and "open", the voice was oddly familiar.

Finally he cracked the door open, taking a peek outside, warm air hitting face. It was still spring, but it was close to its end. Your form came into view, you in a short black dress, slumped against door, sitting on the ground. One of your hands was on the door, it looked like an uncomfortable position to be in. Surprise filled his eyes, his breathing coming to a stop. He whispered your name, like he was in a trance.

When you noticed him, you slowly got up stumbling, his hand reached out, settling on your waist, smell of alcohol invading his senses. You were drunk, very.

"Hey, slowly", he said, steadying you. You looked up at him, your eyes were a little teary, out of focus. A smile crept up on your face, greeting him with a mumble. You planted your forehead on his shoulder, finger coming to grip at his shirt. Now, somebody could see you there, he had to get you inside. He quickly removed your head, slinging on of your arms over his shoulder, guiding you inside and closing the door.

You were barely walking, dragging your feet. "Dear God, help me.", Jay said to himself, making you sit on a chair.

"Can you see me?", he asked, what a stupid question. You only stared at him, repeating his name, moving your hands towards him, he avoided them. A sad expression came onto you face.

"You...", you mumbled, "Don't want me...", he chose not answer, he had to get you home somehow.

"I think...", you continued, he watched you with bated breath. You put your hand on your mouth, realization dawning on him, he moved quickly. Jay practically carried you to the back and into the bathroom, praying on the way that you make it.

Thankfully you did, emptying your stomach into the toilet bowl, all the while he held your hair, saying "It's okay", then proceeded to pass out on the cold tiles of his bathroom.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

You woke up, head throbbing, staring at the unknown ceiling. Your fingers came to press against our temple,sheets rustling, they were kind of rough and their scent was that of a detergent and something else. You got up, pressing your feet to the floor and looked around. A cross, directly above the bed. Oh no.

The memories of last night came flooding in, all tangled together but one thing you were certain, you made a fool out of yourself. How did you even come here, out of all places? Oh, yeah the confused taxi driver, that you did remember.

The sound of door clicking open startled you out of your thoughts. There stood Jay, in his daily clothes. What time was it?

"So you woke up.", you couldn't look him in the eyes, staring at your fingers playing with the edge of the sheet.

"I'm so sorry.", you said with a small voice, getting up, the banging in your head getting worse.

He came further into room, pointing at he night counter,:"First, drink that.", there was a glass of water,light dancing in it. You obeyed, downing it in one go, you were thirsty.

"Sit.", he commanded, again you listened, you would do anything he told you.

Finally, with fear reflecting on your eyes, you looked up at him. He seemed angry with you, stern look on his face.

"What was last night about? Why did you drink so much?",your name followed the question, the sound of it cut right through you.

"I don't know.", you cast your gaze down.

"You do.", he said searching for your eyes, "You do.", he repeated, quietly

What were you supposed to say? That it's because of him? Because you can't forget him?

You weren't sober enough for this and your head was killing you. Your clothes were uncomfortably sticking to your skin, now you felt self conscious under his gaze, putting your hands on your knees.

His eyes followed your movement, then quickly retreated from your naked knees.

"God give me strength." , he thought, he didn't know if he was to push you further. You looked so small, sitting on the edge of his bed, your hair a mess.

Jay sighed deeply, he was going to let you leave, like you always do, but he was also confused, his heart and mind having opposing ideas. Just when he was starting to forget, you showed up again. There was no escape, no peace.

In you, however, various emotions waged a war like no other, why did you have to end up in front of him again? Sharing the same air, breathing in his scent, that was him, you thought, that something that clinged to the sheets.

You thought maybe just one time you were going to do it, even if you were to be damned forever. Just once, you were going to be a sinner you were born to be.

You got up, determination in your step and walked towards Jay. He just stood there, not reacting quickly enough.

You grabbed his hand, it was warm against yours and put it on your chest. He tried to break free from your hold then eventually gave up, his hand going limp.

"I want you.", you said, trying to sound as honest as you could. He could feel how clammy your fingers were but as much as it was against his inhibitions, he enjoyed the contact. His heart couldn't help but beat louder in his chest.

Jay looked at you with pain gracing his eyes, he was an image of a man tortured. He shook his head, pulling his hand back, your touch lingered.

"It's better you leave.", he said, defeat in his voice, stepping aside from you.

So you left. It was different this time, you weren't running away, you were leaving with something precious, with the ghost of his touch. You finally got to feel what his skin against yours is like, what you dreamed about for months, you were closer than ever. His hesitation was like a promise to you.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Next evening come, you were out with a friend. She noticed you were kind of out of it, not prone to having fun anymore, drink resting in your hand, untouched.

"You're no fun tonight.", she said, glancing your way.

"Yeah, sorry.", you answered, absentmindedly staring at the lights on the dance floor. Why did you even come here? When your mind was elsewhere, in certain tall building. You wondered if he was praying or sleeping right now.

Most of all you wondered if he thought about you.

None of this distractions really helped, considering the fact that you still ended at his doorstep, drunk out of your mind. No other men mattered, their touch might have lightened a fire inside of you, but that was only temporary relief. You were imaging him the whole time anyway.

"I'm going to leave.", you announced to her, she only waved you off. You never liked her much anyways, she was just someone that would tag along with you.

You decided to walk, it wasn't that late. The streets were illuminated with artificial lights, the air was warm, breathing it in you calmed down. Under the stars you felt safe, as if you were hugged from all above.

Your building came quicker than expected, you being entertained by your thoughts the whole way back.

You imagined then, that he was waiting for you, head leaned on the door, eyes staring at the ceiling, shoe tapping nervously.

Except he wasn't, empty hallway greeted you.

You thought till when is this going to last, was it just a dream what happened yesterday? You outwardly said you wanted him, you didn't confess but the meaning was still there. Maybe you should've voiced those words differently, to convey your true feelings for it was now becoming much deeper than just want. He now occupied the part of your heart, having reserved himself a place, not anyone could fill anymore.

That night, you fell asleep the most sober you have ever been.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Inside Jay there was a growing void, one that not even God could fill. Ever since that night, his thoughts have been consumed by you. You said you wanted him, did you know he wanted you too?

Every night he has been burdened by the same dream, your lips on his, your body under him. Needs were awakening in him, those he didn't have before. He was content, now he was empty. Something under his skin itched, tickling and always present.

He couldn't escape from it, prayer stopped working. He was absent during mass, in the confessional, in his office, everywhere where he was there was a thought of you.

Those intrusive thoughts were killing him, he felt as if he was underwater and the air his lungs needed was you.

He would lay awake at night, watching the ceiling like hawk, again, in one hand he clenched a rosary so hard that it left imprints on his skin, while the other was clawing at the sheets. He was in pure torture, wondering why did his God abandon him.

Then one night, after the evening service, as he was just getting changed in the back, a soft knocking resounded at the door of the room.

He ceased his movements, turning around and there you stood, like a vision coming from above.

He voiced out your name, softly.

"I came for a confession.", you said, serious as ever.

He repeated your name, this time louder.

You fell on your knees in front of him, begining to say:" Bless me, Father, for I have sinned. It has been...", he stopped by you grabbing you by the arms, forcefully pulling you up.

"For the love of God, stop.", he never repeated the Lord's name vain, yet he did it in front of you.

"What? I am confessing.", you said, frustrated.

"I know what you are going to say, please don't.", he finally let go of you, moving a step back. You took one forward.

"How do you know?", you asked, continuing,:" How do you know it is about me having a lustful thoughts.", you paused, "about a priest."

Jay winced when that came out of your mouth. You came even closer, bringing your face to his. His breathing started to get laboured, eyes darting from yours to your lips. The tension was thicker than ever.

It culminated when you crashed your lips onto his own, tasting him, finally, the forbidden fruit sweet on your tongue. His lips were a little chapped but soft none the less, euphoric feeling was coursing through you and then you felt it. The pressure, he kissed back, enveloping your mouth in his own.

Like a man starved, he didn't kiss he devoured, holding onto restraint for so long, it snapping all at once. You opened your mouth, coaxing his tongue in, it running over yours, exploring your mouth. You couldn't help but moan, grabbing at his hair, pulling him closer.

Both of you came up for air, panting, his lips swollen, your lipstick smudged at the corners. There was a wild glint in his eyes, his pupils blown, darkness swimming in them. Then he seemed to come to his senses, hands grabbed your shoulders creating a distance between the two of you.

He looked once at the floor, then at you again. He just betrayed himself and his God, all of it crashing down on him at once. He felt disgusted by himself but his lips still tingled, aching for more of your touch.

You stared at him, waiting for him to lash out at you, to scream, because you just crossed the line, but again, he did it too. He kissed you back and with fervor.

It seemed like the devil took control of him completely because he couldn't talk, only think how he wants that to happen again.

He heard a lot about heaven, but he didn't know that he would find it in the taste of you.

Jay turned around and braced one hand against the wall, willing his breathing to calm down.

You didn't know what to do, fiddling with your fingers, his silence keeping you on the edge.

"You know how wrong this is.", he said, facing you now.

"Jay.", you said, just his name alone, intimate and raw.

At the sound of it, pain flickered in his eyes, he brought his gaze up, glancing at the heavens. This was one of hardest moments in his life, he was on the precipice of something, be it salvation or damnation.

The temptation was there, more present than ever, if only he gave in a little, he could have what his body has been burning for. All those nights he spent in sweat, resisting, now it was almost at the palm of his hand, if only he reached out a little.

He cursed in his mind, actually cursed, so unlike for a priest and grabbed your hand, dragging you through the hall and into his room.

He locked the door, twice, begging the God to forgive him but no divine force could stop him.

You just stood in the middle of the room, surprised, watching his every move.

Jay took slow steps towards you until the back of your legs hit the bed. He lifted his hand up, putting it onto your chest and pushed you until you sat down. He came to stand in between your legs.

You watched his movements with a breath caught in your throat, there was a strange look in his eyes. You have never seen such a darkness invading them, they were focused on you, following every nervous twitch of your lips. His nostrils were slightly flaring from how aggressively he was breathing, he trailed his index finger down the line of your neck.

"Always so tempting.", he said, no warmth left in his voice.

He hummed as if he was deep in thought, other hand coming to cup your face, pulling it up so you faced him directly.

You looked up at him, him hovering over you, his eyes were focused on you, devouring you with their gaze alone.

Air was charged with so much electricity, just one match was needed to light up everything in flames. Then you did it, licking your lips subconsciously and swallowing, lump stuck in your throat.

That was all he needed, leaning down and crashing his mouth onto yours.

This time it was only heat, no gentleness, no uncertainty as it had been when you kissed him. He shoved his tongue in your mouth, rubbing it against yours, teeth crashing, some saliva dripping down. He lapped it all up, hungry for your taste.

Your hands were gripping at the front of his shirt, wrinkling the black fabric, engulfed in the intensity of the moment.

He pushes you further up the bed, putting his knee on top of it, caging you in.

He separated from you for a moment to kick off his shoes, then came back to leave warm pecks just under your jaw, his teeth grazing the sensitive skin there. His fingers tangled in your hair, tugging for you to move your head so he has more access.

You moaned at the pressure on your scalp, arms enveloping his shoulders, moulding your body with his.

Your thin dress did nothing to soothe the heat coming from your skin, the collar of his shirt tickling you. You glided your palms down his back, coming to rest at his front, working the buttons. He pulled his head up, coming to rest his forehead on yours, breathing heavily, watching your fingers fumble.

He helped you, ripping his white collar off in the process. The damnation was waiting for him surely but he was far to gone to care.

His bare chest came into view, your fingers splaying over it, looking deep into his eyes.

Then your turn came, the zipper of your dress being undone, it slipping from your body in one smooth movement.

There you were, only in your underwear, your breasts on display, nipples perked up,skin slicked with sweat. He stared, you were finally here, in his bed, under him, wooden cross above you both. His fingers danced around the lace of your panties, his eyes ogling, desire seeping through them, his other hand came to grope at your chest, pulling a whimper from you.

He was straining so hard against his pants, that it was beginning to hurt. He was dying to be inside of you already, cock twitching from the sole image of you and the way you were looking at him. With wanting and with submission, completely undone.

"Show me.", he whispered, still playing with your underwear.

Your fingers, in response, slipped under the waistband of you panties and pulled them off, sliding them down your legs. He swallowed at the sight, holding onto your thighs. You spread them apart and guided his fingers to your clit. You were so wet that they just glided against it, pleasure making you throw your head back.

Jay needed no time to learn. Rubbing at your nub of nerves with nimbleness, adjusting the pace while listening to the hitches in your breath. Then they wandered lower and lower, until his index and middle finger reached your entrance, slipping them inside.

"Yes, just like that.", you said, out of breath, focusing only on the motions of his hand.

He pumped his fingers in and out, enjoying the way you squirmed. He wanted to taste you, to see how would your wetness feel on his tongue, he licked his lips, resisting the urge just barely, that would have to wait for another time. Another time? He was already thinking of doing this with you again, no semblance of stopping the sin growing inside of him.

His mind was filled with various ideas, how he would like to take you, to have you. All of it couldn't be done by one time.

With his free hand he started to undo his belt, the clinking sound filling the room, mixing with your harsh breathing. It was hard to do it with one hand so he had to stop his ministrations, pulling out his finger with a wet pop, your wetness glistening on them.

He let out a faint moan at feeling, coming to take off his pants, smearing them with you in the process. Those clothes that signified his devotion to God, his restriction, his vow.

Now all of it was about to be broken.

He released himself from his underwear, bare before you, his cock hard against his stomach. Tip red and wet with drops of precum, some of it spilling down his shaft. Your hand reached out, grabbing a hold of him, tending to him with slow pumps of your hand, spreading the wetness even more.

A hiss escaped his mouth, he was so sensitive and ready, barely holding himself back. Then he moved, coming closer, his hands replacing yours and aligning himself with your entrance.

He sank in slowly, your walls fluttering around him, he welcomed the sensation. He has never felt that before, but the feeling was addicting, he pushed in more, bottoming out, groaning at the way you squeezed him.

He put his hands on the side of head, bracing himself and started moving, chasing the sweet feeling you were giving him. He let the pure, primal nature take over him, thrusting his hips in a quick movements, but still reaching deep.

He saw the way your eyes rolled back in your head, your mouth falling open, trying to suppress the moans from the back of your throat. You were aware that you two were still in the back of the church, of the God's house, but he felt so good inside of you.

With every glide of his cock, he brushed the most sensitive spot inside of you, even more wetness gushing out to coat him, aiding in his movements and the sound of his breathing, loud in your ears, fanning your face each time he exhaled.

"Where do you want it?", he asked through gritted teeth, voice rough from pleasure.

He was so close, his cock twitching, not being able to withhold it any longer, it was his first time after all.

"Inside.", you managed to say, almost ending in a moan.

Your fingers tangled on his nape, his hair slicked with sweat, you needed just a little more to come too. Arching your back for him to reach in even deeper, breasts brushing his chest.

He didn't answer, only burying his head in your shoulder, biting there to not let out any sound, his saliva warm on your skin. His orgasm crashing over him, spurts of his release filling you. You held onto his hair tighter with one hand,soothing him while other came to rub at your clit.

That did it for you, pleasure exploding behind your eyelids, painting your whole world in white, your pussy squeezing around him in intense waves.

Your head slumped against the pillow after, hand coming to rest limp on the sheets, aftershocks still running from you. He lifted up his head, forehead wet from sweat, pupils still blown wide, his mouth was slightly open, coming down from his high.

He removed himself from you slowly, as if he didn't want to part, your mixed releases spilling onto the sheets under. Feeling of emptiness enveloping you, you curling into yourself on the bed, overwhelmed.

Jay came to lay beside you, putting one hand over his eyes, breathing in deeply.

God, what has he done?

The thoughts didn't last for too long, he turned to you asking:" Are you okay?".

"I'm fine.", you sighed, looking around the bed for your clothes. You wanted him to hold you close, but he seemed so distant after it all.

After you just gave your body to him. Now, he yearned to be close to you as well, but the anxiety took over him. He was scared, to death. The realization dawning on him, he just willingly broke his vow.

He watched with trepidation in his eyes as you pulled your dress over your head, clumsily zipping it up. You didn't bother with underwear.

"Y/N.", he said your name like in a prayer, dazed.

You finally lifted up your teary eyes to his, Jay felt his heart breaking at the sight. It was because of him.

"This..", he began.

"Doesn't meant anything right?", you finished for him with a lump stuck deep in your throat.

"That's not.", he tried to, but you've already decided, he wasn't going to leave everything for you, no way. He might have broken his promise, but it must have been only the moment. His hesitancy was speaking volumes to you, he was too devoted.

You'll have to satisfy yourself with this brief, passionate encounter you had and forget.

He was a priest, you were just a tortured soul in his path, nothing else.

─ ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──── ♡ ─── ⋅ ⋅ ⋅ ──

Jay continued his well known routine. Get up early, pray, prepare for the sermon, morning mass, confessional if needed and then evening mass, praying before bed and sleep.

Repeat.

One thing however wasn't right, he never confessed and repented for his wrongdoing.

He just like a hypocrite he became, smiled in front of people and talked about straying away from sin, about protecting your soul and virtue. All while his own was rotting away, playing with the devil.

He spent his nights with hand in his pants, fucking his fist to the thought of you.

He chose to keep it as a secret, what happened between the two of you. His own dirty secret, a certain ticket for hell.

He still thought about you, about your whereabouts, about your sweet voice and beautiful eyes. You came to him in dream each night.

He missed you until he couldn't take it anymore.

One night, he got dressed in normal clothes, locked the doors of the church and left in the direction of your home.

Night air was warm and fragrant, his body casting a shadow on the pavement, sharp and dark. He looked at it, it was a shadow of a man, nothing more.

That night, he became just a man, no adjectives could be added anymore, not holy, not devoted.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, he feels as if he lost something, closeness of God or His grace, His favour. Then he is brought close to tears, but all of a sudden a whiff of your scent invades his memory.

The way you felt under him, he was ready to give up place in heaven for it.

His legs brought you in front of your building, his mind filled with the thoughts of you.

Jay knocked on your door, once, twice, only silence greeting him. He was growing worried already, where were you this late at night?

Little did he know, you were staring at his form through the peephole, wondering whether to open or not.

His appearance surprised you, all those days you were tortured, replaying that night all the time. You got into temptation to go drinking again, but decided not to, too tired from not sleeping and just thinking.

You wanted it to mean something more, more than just desire, more than just lust.

The attraction you two had was out of this world already, but your heart ached too when you would see him, not just your core.

Another knock echoed.

You opened the door, face to face you both stood. Relief washed immediately over his features, his eyebrows relaxing from their scrunched position.

"Hi.", he said, his familiar eyes boring into yours.

You opened your mouth and closed it, unable to get out even a greeting.

"Can I come in?", he inquired, moving forward.

"What do you need?", you answered back with a question, it came out harsher than you wanted it to.

"You.", he fired back, in a blink of an eye.

That was so unlike him, you wondered what has gotten inside of him to talk that way to you, in public, on your doorstep.

"Look, let's talk inside?", he tried, gesturing with his hand.

You noticed the absence of his usual clothes, jeans so unfamiliar on him. You didn't complain, the way they fit him was so easy on the eye. You quickly darted your eyes up to his. He didn't fail to notice.

You sighed out, moving sideways so he could come in, his body brushed against yours. You jolted, reminded of how he felt that night, so impossibly close to you.

You closed the door with a click, leaning your back on it.

He darted his eyes around your apartment, taking notice of any changes that happened since the last time he was there. It seemed such a long time ago. The night of agony that followed.

Now it was all behind him, he was standing in front of you, beholding your form, finally.

Jay's hands itched by his sides, he wanted to touch you, he didn't think he would ever get enough. The greed was growing inside of him, relentless.

He came here to talk, really, but seeing you, your tired eyes, the dark circles under them and something unreadable in them too.

The need to hug you was overwhelming. So he did just that. Took few steps towards you and wrapped his arms around you, engulfing you in his embrace.

You couldn't move, couldn't think, only feel his warmth, it made your muscles relax just a little, your mind quietened.

The effect he had on you, calming even the most of violent storms inside of you. Except he was the cause of it and the cure.

You pushed him off with trembling hands and stared at the floor, not meeting his gaze.

"I'm so sorry.", he whispered, cupping your face, coming close once again.

He rubbed his thumb in soothing circles over your cheek, cherishing the feel of your skin on his. You moved your eyes to his, a pleading look crept up on your face, as if you were ready to get on your knees at any moment and beg. His eyes stared at you with such gentleness and softness that you couldn't resist them, forgetting about all the pain you went through.

His lips were slowly approaching your own, carefully, so you could pull back if you wanted to. When he saw no hesitancy,he slotted his mouth over yours, softly as if he was kissing a rose, so that your petals wouldn't fall off.

You sighed deeply into the kiss, tangling your fingers in his hair, it felt like something has awakened behind your rib cage, crawled its way up and out of your mouth and into his.

He welcomed each press of your lips on his, you opened your mouth, his tongue slipping inside, sensually exploring. He pushed you against the door, hands coming to grope at your hips, gliding over the small of your back.

It was so easy to get lost in the moment with him, to forget where he ends and you begin.

You would have never pulled away if it wasn't for your treacherous lungs that craved oxygen so much. Coming up for air, you took notice of the lust in his eyes, ache settling between your thighs.

You couldn't find your voice anymore, your blood rushing violently in your ears, instead you opted for gliding your hands over his shoulders.

Jay said your name once, trying to get your attention, searching for your eyes desperately. When your eyes finally met, he smiled that breathtaking smile of his, tucking a hair behind your ear.

He was ready, now. In the deepest, most hidden part of himself he knew. He would die without you.

That realization shook his whole being, slight tremors coming up to the tips of his fingers.

He loved you, no it wasn't just empty lust, you dug your way into his soul, engraving it with your name. He belonged to God only, now he belongs to you instead.

He has known it then, when the gave his body to you, it's just that feeling hasn't crystallized completely, the fog of anxiety covering it.

"I'll do it.", he said, serious as ever.

"Do what?", you questioned quietly as not to break the fragility of the moment.

"I'll leave everything behind and come to you.", he promised, sincerity dripping from his voice.

"You would do that?", you cast your eyes down,you didn't deserve that.

He repeated "yes" three times, once loudly with so much certainty and then whispered it against the skin of you neck, leaving soft kisses there.

Somehow that was more potent than any confession could be, surging through your veins and bringing new life to you.

You dropped down in front of him, unbuckling his belt in an instant. You needed to worship his body like it's holy, you needed to spell all your gratitude into his skin.

When he realized what you were about to do, his eyes bulged out, a shiver running through him. He was already hard and tenting in his underwear. You took him out, a hiss escaping his mouth at the air that hit him.

You licked his tip, tentatively, gulping down at his taste, letting saliva gather on your tongue and then spitting on him, watching it coat his shaft. He moaned out at the warm feeling, then you spread the wetness out with your hand, pumping him a little.

When he was properly lubricated, you slowly took him in your mouth, his cock sinking down you throat until your nose reached his stomach. He felt his knees buckle, one hand coming to brace against the door.

You bobbed your head up and down, flattening your tongue out, being careful of your teeth. Every movement was graced with devotion, bleeding from it. He thought all of his nerve endings were on fire, pleasure so intense consuming him, he threw his head back, breathing hard through his nose.

Your eyes were becoming teary from how deep you were taking him, spit dripping from the corners of your mouth, luckily your hair was in a ponytail already.

You took him out, licking a stripe along the underside of his shaft and then sucked on his tip gently, pumping him with your hand.

You felt he was close, twitching, his whole body tense, his hand was balled into a fist by his side.

You sank down once again, feeling him hit the back of your throat, you swallowed around him and he exploded inside of your mouth. You welcomed all of it greedily, the warm liquid trailing down your throat, you felt as if you've reached heaven, having him pour out his love to you.

He barely stood, gripping at the door for dear life, aftershocks running through his body, his heart beating out of its limits. While you were still down, wiping at your mouth, licking the remains, a faint moan coming out from you. You given head before but never like this, it was almost an out of body experience.

It was all because of him, he brought you a high you've never felt before, a feeling that could come only from above, as if he was a saint and led you to see His grace alone.

Despite his quiet and introverted tendencies, he's friends with Jake, who is almost always the loudest person in the room. Jake is the type of person who can crack a smile and start a conversation with anybody. He doesn't mind if the small talk is bland and boring, unlike Jay, who counts the seconds until it's over. Jake loves it when the attention is on him like any other twenty-year-old something who's just gotten used to leaving home for the first time.

Their apartment on the outskirts of Seoul is less of an apartment and more like a small house, courtesy of Jay's exceptionally rich parents who dropped an unprecedented amount of money into his bank account despite the fact that he has a job. They don't particularly love that he works at a guitar repair shop or that he occasionally teaches people how to play the instrument when he has a free weekend, but Jay's never been the kind of person to care about what other people think of him as long as he's doing what he loves.

Well, that's how he's been ever since he started smoking.

Some time back in high school during the summer before his third year, he'd somehow met a freshly graduated student looking to sell off the rest of his marijuana before moving away for college. No way he could pack that shit in his luggage and fly halfway across the world with it in his possession. The plug was a friend of a friend. On a hot Thursday summer night, Jay smoked from a bong for the first time. He coughed and coughed, grateful that neither his friend nor the plug laughed at him for too long. The high didn't kick in until the third try when Jay had learned how to properly inhale.

If he could describe that first taste of euphoria, Jay would probably say it felt like walking on cloud nine with his head feeling heavier than a rock while the rest of his body felt as light as a feather. He could finally focus on one thing at a time instead of his brain running with a million thoughts. This was what it meant to let loose and be in the present moment. His friends thought he spent too much time worrying about the future instead of basking in the here and now. Jay finally understood what they were talking about.

When you first catch his eye, it's in the basement of his apartment. You arrived forty minutes prior along with your friends, some of whom he knows from around campus, and he looks at your exceptionally short black skirt that hugs your curves. The weather is starting to warm up with summer approaching beyond the horizon, even during the nighttime. Jay's red, bloodshot eyes rake over the expanse of your exposed legs and stop at the hem of the fabric before he peeks at your top, which is surely too small to properly cover your chest. It's a wonder how you haven't noticed him blatantly checking you out, but then again, the music is loud and there's far too many people in this room to make him stand out.

You look at Jay when the rest of your friends start to gather around the couch he's sitting on. Jake, who has migrated towards the coffee table with bottles of beer and soju, puts the drinks on the surface and starts pouring shots like the alcohol will give everybody enough courage to fly if they tried hard enough. He watches as you take a look at him too. Jay wears loose fitting black jeans and an old grey t-shirt he's worn one too many times. He's ditched his signature leather jacket because the apartment is warm with all the bodies that move before him and because it's his place. There's no use putting one on when he can walk upstairs to his bedroom if he gets cold. He never does. Several silver necklaces adorn his neck accompanied with matching silver jewelry that somehow makes his fingers look much longer than when his hands are completely bare. The callouses on his fingertips wrap around the joint in his hands—which is halfway finished—by the time you walk around the coffee table and look down at him.

"Is this seat taken?" Jay shakes his head.

"All yours."

He hears your polite thank you amidst noise. There's far too much for him to focus on, namely the chatter of multiple conversations and Jake's twenty-seven hour long playlist he puts on shuffle every time he hosts a party. Now he has to add in your perfume into the mix, which smells something like almond and cherries. Jay doesn't mean to inhale your scent, but it's kind of hard not to when you're sitting so close to him. The couch is only so big, anyway. Your thigh might as well be pushing against his if you weren't so polite.

"I like you what you did with your hair," you say, turning your body to look at him.

"Hm?" Jay hums.

"You hair. I like what you did with it," you repeat, using your index finger to point at his gelled hair, which he styled last minute thanks to Jake's suggestion. "It looks good on you."

"You think so?" You nod a few times. Jay can tell you're drunk from pregaming and the drinks his roommate and your friends have been passing around for the last hour or so.

"You look…edgy."

"Edgy?"

"Like, way too cool to be here."

Jay nearly scoffs at that. Too cool. Nobody's ever used that phrase to describe him before. Most people think he's too quiet for his own good or that he's a bit of a snob because he refuses to be part of the crowd that goes along with anything for the sake of looking like he has friends. Jay is the kind of person who keeps to himself until he feels comfortable enough to open up. Being vulnerable is not his forte. He'd rather keep everything to himself until he's given a reason to spill his guts. People tend to compare him to Jake and always wonder how the two of them are so close despite being so different. His best friend's loudness complements his quiet nature, even if it gets to be too overwhelming sometimes.

You, on the other hand, are the epitome of cool. Jay's never spoken to you in his life, but he's seen you around before. You never walk around campus without somebody trailing after you and on the rare occasions you're alone, he's seen you call out to somebody as they pass by. Jay doesn't know if you're a natural socializing magnet or if people seek you out on purpose. He doesn't know if there's much of a difference. Jay has never found the appeal of having a large friend group because he'd rather find a few people who he can trust than entertain people who don't really care about him. He doesn't know you well enough to make any assumptions beyond what he's witnessed, but you're friends with the girl Jake is talking to, which means he's been seeing you more than he ever has.

With his joint still lit, Jay laughs and the sound vibrates deep within him as the high continues making him feel like his head is much heavier than the rest of his body, just how he likes it. "You flatter me."

"You're Jay, right?" You ask. You tell him your name, which he already knows, but he chooses not to tell you that.

"Yeah, I am. Jake's roommate."

"I've heard a lot about you."

"Have you?"

"Good things, I promise," you tell him with a sweet smile. Jay's eyes barely flicker to your lips. You'd notice if you were sober, but you aren't. "Jake told me you play guitar. I think that's really cool."

"Do you play too?"

You shake your head. "Nope. I grew up playing piano. My parents never let me learn guitar because they wanted me to become a pianist."

"How's that going for you?"

"I can play Tchaikovsky without sheet music, but I really like learning about astronomy."

"You're either a disappointment or an exceptional daughter."

You giggle. Jay doesn't think he's made anyone make that sound before.

"Maybe a little bit of both. I crushed their dreams of seeing me in Carnegie Hall, but they're happy I chose a hard science as my major. I'm planning on going to grad school after taking a gap year."

"You're…very confident."

"Is that a bad thing?" You ask with the tilt of your head.

"Not at all. I'm just surprised."

"You are the cute guy with a joint and enough jewelry to last a lifetime. You look pretty confident to me." Your eyes rake over his hands, which are adorned with an assortment of silver rings before passing up his neck and to his ears, both of which are tastefully decorated. Jay looks at you and notices you're decked out in jewelry too. The gold tones complements you well.

"I think people shouldn't be afraid of accessorizing," Jay says.

"Fuck the clean girl aesthetic." You laugh. "I'm just kidding. People can do what they want. But I don't feel like myself unless my eyes are caked in eyeliner." Your makeup looks expertly put on. It's messy in a tasteful way, like you didn't try too hard even though you probably took your time getting ready.

"It looks nice on you."

"You think so?"

Jay nods. "Makes you look like a rock star."

"You're one to talk," you say, letting your eyes fall again.

The joint burns quicker than he'd like and in lieu of a response, Jay takes another puff and hopes he doesn't come off as socially awkward. He inhales and holds it in his lungs as casually as he can before turning his head away to blow the smoke anywhere but in your face. Jay can feel your eyes watching his lips as he brings the joint to his mouth and feels his neck start to warm up.

"Do you want to take a hit?" He asks, holding the joint out for you.

"Do you care if I get lip gloss on it?"

As if he'd pass up the chance to taste it.

He pushes the joint closer to you until your nimble fingers take it from him and he watches intently as your lips enclose around the opening. You've already got your lip gloss on it, something he can only describe as cherry cola, but he doesn't really care. Maybe he's high or maybe he knows a thing or two about pretty girls who like to make their lips look real kissable, but Jay takes note of your brown lip liner that makes you look even more delectable than when you were standing across the room from him.

Like the polite girl you are, you turn your head away to blow the smoke out of your mouth. You take it like a champ, too. You inhaled quite a bit and he was sure he'd have to get up from his spot on the couch to grab you a glass of water—or make Jake do it—but you cough only once to clear your throat before turning back around and inspecting the lip gloss that's managed to taint the paper. You smile and laugh when you notice it, flicking your eyes back towards Jay as you pass the joint back to him.

"Sorry," you apologize. "I really tried not to get any on there."

"S'okay. It happens," he mumbles, trying not to become too transfixed with the way you rub your lips together.

"Do you always offer your joints to strangers you see at parties?"

"Only if they're pretty."

Jesus. He's never this bold when he's sober. Jay sees a flicker of bashfulness in your expression when he says it, though. He isn't used to talking to girls like Jake is because he's got more things to worry about than wondering when he'll get his dick wet. He's the kind of guy that likes to take things slow and only jumps in on opportunities if they happen naturally. Jake's tried to introduce him to a few girls in the past but it never felt right.

Something about you smoking the joint he rolled twenty minutes before this party began is making him feel differently.

"Do you think I'm pretty, Jay?" Caught between embarrassment and bravado, he chooses the latter.

"Very pretty."

"I think you're pretty too."

"Do you?"

You nod. "Always have. I've seen you around campus before. You've got this mysterious thing going on. It works for you."

"Did Jake put you up to this?" He asks, shaking his head before inhaling a small puff.

"He didn't," you tell him. "I'm not really friends with Jake. Well, we know each other because we've shared a few classes and because he's talking to my best friend. No colluding here."

You move closer to him only slightly, but Jay's high and the only thing he can focus on is your exposed thigh inching closer towards his own. Your skirt has already ridden up so far because of the position you're sitting in and because it's hard to fix your clothes when you aren't standing up. If he looked down, Jay would see your tits practically shoving themselves in his face because of the tight, low cut. But even when he's inebriated, Jay is a gentleman, so he maintains his composure and keeps a respectful distance.

"Can I have another hit?" He gives the joint back to you and tries his best not to gawk at your lips again. "This isn't your scene, is it?"

"It is if Jake asks me to come," he answers, watching you tilt your head back to exhale. "I'm not a party guy, but it's my house and it'll be just as loud in my bedroom."

"I see," you say with a hum, looking at the group of people that have gathered near the table at the far end of the room. "It's not really my scene either."

"It's not?"

You shake your head. "I go to these things because my friends like to and I like them. Don't get me wrong, I like going out, but I think I'd rather smoke with a few people in my apartment instead."

"What would you rather be doing?"

"Depends on my mood. Right now I'd rather be high on my roof stargazing. I also like watching anime a lot. I'd rather be doing that alone in my bedroom."

"You must really like your friends to come out tonight." You laugh and Jay thinks it sounds like his favorite melody.

"I have my moments where I want to go out. I think my introversion comes out sometimes, but it's my last year of university and who knows when I'll be able to see all my friends in one place. What about you? What would you rather be doing?"

"Is it obvious that I'm bored?"

"Well, you look like you'd rather hide in your room than stay down here."

"I don't know anyone well enough," Jay tells you. "Not bad company, everyone's just a stranger tonight."

"But not me, right?" You ask, leaning in closer to him.

His eyes flicker down to your lips before looking back at you.

"No. Not you," he murmurs. "I know you now."

"Come play beer pong!" Jake shouts, interrupting the conversation from halfway across the room. When Jay turns his head to look, everyone has migrated to the table with red solo cups perfectly aligned on both sides. Your friends call out for you and Jay assumes you must be really good at this game if they're this adamant about you playing.

"Come with me?" You ask him, standing up while outstretching your hand to him. He only hesitates for a second before putting the joint in his mouth and putting his hand in yours.

Already, he notes how soft your palms are and the long, pointy shape of your nails that have been painted a dark shade of purple. Jay tries not to stare at your joined hands for too long because he doesn't want to seem like he's gawking, especially when he's surrounded by people you know. You lead him towards the crowd as Jake pours beer in the remaining empty cups.

You don't drop his hands immediately. Instead, you turn towards him and look up, batting your eyelashes. "Can I have another hit? For good luck?"

"Won't that make you loose focus?"

"I'm really good at beer pong."

Instead of giving you the joint, Jay holds it up to your mouth and watches you envelope the tip into your mouth. He doesn't hide the fact that he's staring, nor do you hide the fact that you're looking at him as he looks at you. He can hear your friend telling you to hurry up but you don't, instead choosing to inhale as much as you can before pulling away, holding it in your lungs, and blowing the smoke behind you.

"You know the rules," Jake says, standing across from you with a ping pong ball in his hand. "No pushing or blocking. I want a clean, fair game."

"Until the next round," your friend says.

Jake smirks. "Until the next round."

You finally let go of his hand to stand next to your friend and Jay can't help but trail his eyes until he looks at your ass. Fuck. You look exceptional in that skirt. He pulls his gaze away to avoid looking like a creep checking you out while you're bending over, but can anyone blame him? With every move and every stop, your skirt rides up your incredible thighs and he almost wishes he could push the fabric up just to see what you look like underneath it.

True to your word, you're really good at beer pong. Jake is far more drunk than you and your friend and his partner is barely carrying his weight. You, on the other hand, manage to sink the ping pong ball into the cup every single time you throw it. Jay relishes in Jake's defeated expression when he has to drink out of a cup, partially because his best friend wouldn't allow him to hole himself in his bedroom all night, and partially because Jay finds your hand-eye coordination really attractive. He finishes the remainder of the joint and finds a spare ash tray somewhere behind him.

The game ends eventually. Jay watches you and your best friend share a celebratory embrace and he can't help but let a ghost of a smile adorn his lips when he sees how happy you are now that you've won. Half of your drinks are still on the table while Jake's cups are nearly empty. Your friend walks to the other side of the table to console his best friend, who asks to team up for the next round as an excuse to be close to her, when you grab a two of the red cups and lift one to his mouth.

"Drink with me?"

He doesn't say no. Jay's knees nearly buckle when you maintain eye contact over the rim of the cup until you finish yours, which prompts him to finish his own. He doesn't particularly like the taste of warm, cheap beer, but he'd drink the rest of it if that meant staying by your side.

"Congratulations on the win. Jake's really bad at beer pong and hasn't improved in the four years I've known him," Jay says somewhat awkwardly, too high to find the confidence to act like he's sober enough to have a proper conversation with you. You're faring much better than he is, but he thinks it's probably because you're naturally good with people.

"I've played him a few times and you're right, he's terrible at it," you say with a short laugh. "What about you? Are you any good?"

"I'm decent, but I prefer staying on the sidelines instead of playing."

"That's okay." You smile up at him. "You can be my cheerleader from now on."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm," you hum. You hold your hand up in front of him. "Give me your phone."

"My phone?"

"I wanna give you my number, silly."

Jay nearly chokes. You're really pretty. He'd have to be an idiot to deny your request.

He fishes his phone from his pocket, grateful for his past self that decided to bring it downstairs instead of leaving it in his room like he usually does. After unlocking it, he hands the device to you and watches the way your fingers wrap around the case as you type your number. He's surprised when you take a picture of yourself in front of him to have as your contact photo before you hand it back. Your contact name is simple, spelled in all lowercase with a singular black heart right next to it.

God, you're something.

"Don't be a stranger, okay?"

✧･ﾟ─────────── ✧･

It's been two weeks since then.

Sober Jay from the morning after somehow convinced himself that you weren't serious about him texting you. It must've been the weed, right? Or maybe it was the atmosphere at the party. Things like this happen to Jake, not him.

But here you are, walking towards him with a big smile on your face.

Lee Heeseung cocks his head and looks between the two of you. He watches Jay notice you from the corner of his eye, slowing his gait as if to check if it's really you, before looking ahead and taking another step forwards. Heeesung raises an eyebrow and pulls Jay by the arm.

"You shouldn't ignore a gorgeous girl who wants your attention," says Heeseung, clearly giving you a once over. You don't seem to notice because you're too busy trying to get Jay's to look at you. "Do you know her?"

"Barely," Jay mutters.

"It looks like she knows you."

"We met at a party a couple of weeks ago, is all. We barely know each other."

"I'll come over after work," Heeseung says, effectively patting Jay on the shoulder before he leaves.

"Heeseung—"

"Jay!" You say from beside him. He looks down at you, giving Heeseung the chance to slip away without saying a proper goodbye. "Who's your friend?"

"Nobody important," Jay mumbles. "What are you doing here?"

"In the public quad?" He tries not to let a blush form atop his cheeks. "You didn't text me."

There's no use in trying to come up with a cohesive answer. He opens his mouth like he's a fish out of water, but you keep looking at him like you're amused.

"I didn't think you were serious."

"I even added a contact picture."

It's a fucking good one too.

"Here," you say, pulling your phone out of your pocket. "Put your number in my phone."

"This feels like déjà vu."

"I thought about finding your Instagram or asking around for your number, but you could've ignored me there too. I figure I'd find you and ask you myself."

Jay's never had anybody this interested in him. He's had girlfriends in the past, but they always felt like placeholders. He's pretty sure his ex-girlfriends felt the same way about him too. You, on the other hand, have been bold and forward ever since the first time you laid your eyes on him. Ever since sharing that joint a couple of weeks ago, Jay's felt this strange sense of his heartstrings being pulled involuntarily.

The truth is, he hasn't stopped thinking about you since that night. In the evening, when Jake is asleep or gaming with his noise cancelling headphones, Jay would pull up your contact and stare at your image for hours. He'd fantasize about seeing you again before feeling embarrassment for conjuring such an image. There have been to many times where he'd draft a text message just to delete it altogether. Jay can't pinpoint why he refrained from reaching out to you, but deep down, he knows it's because he's scared of being rejected by you.

And yet, here you are, asking for his phone number.

you: hi jay!!

"Don't be a stranger. I mean it this time," you tell him as you pocket your phone and walk away.

"Fuck," he whispers. He's never felt such exhilaration in his entire life.

Jay does text you back. He texts back approximately four hours later (after conferring with Heeseung on what he should say) and settles on being just as direct as you. He figures dinner and a movie is a safe bet, especially since he doesn't know you well enough to know what you'd be interested in. Heeseung tells Jay he's overthinking and fuck, he knows that, but it's hard not to when he really wants to impress you and make you believe he's more than just some guy you got high with at one of Jake's parties.

Sometimes Jay wonders if he jumps off of the deep end too fast. He'd never purposely make you feel like you need to rush into anything with him right off the bat, but he can't deny that his feelings towards you compile into something that feels like a crush. Smoking with you didn't feel like a one-time thing, especially since you held his fucking hand and told him to join you during that beer pong match. You let everyone see you drag him to the group. You didn't drop his hand for the sake of not wanting to be seen with him, but because your teammate needed you to be laser focused to win against Jake and his partner.

He'd never admit that you're on his mind at every waking hour. Perhaps he's been such a loner for so long, but Jake and Heeseung both would argue that Jay isn't a loner per se. Rather, he's someone who takes his time and has impossibly high standards because he wants to be completely sure about a decision before he goes all in. He's always been a bit indecisive like that, even in childhood. But it's not his fault that he's a careful person. Jay's careful with his mind, body, and soul.

You came into his life like a fucking thunderstorm. You've unarmed all of Jay's senses and made him forget being cautious like he usually does despite having only spent a few hours with you a couple of weeks ago. There's no rhyme or reason for your existence in his life and all you've done is share a joint and talk to him like you've known him all your life. He loves people like that. Jay's first encounter with Jake was at orientation during their first year of university and the latter had struck up a conversation because he simply didn't know anybody at the time. It was alarming in the best kind of way and Jay decided to take a leap of faith to befriend Jake. The rest is history, as they say.

Is it pathetic that he's thinking about making space in his life for you when he barely knows who you are? He knows you're beautiful, you like to get high, and you're exceptional at beer pong. There's not much he can go off of when he allows himself to fantasize about what it would be like to call you his girlfriend. God, Jay must be truly fucked in the head to think that far ahead when he's only hung out with you once. He'd never call himself a hopeless romantic or the kind of guy who believes in love at first sight, but something about your wondrous self makes him think otherwise.

Eventually, the two of you sit across from one another in a late night diner after seeing The Drama.

"This whole movie was bullshit," you say, dipping french fries into a mixture of ketchup and hot sauce. "I mean, Emma didn't go through with her original plan. Her belief system was completely shaped after finding her friend group. Shouldn't that count for something? Everyone else at that table did some fucked up shit, but Emma was the only one who didn't."

"Rachel was a terrible friend," Jay says with a definite nod. "Her husband—what was his named again? Mike?—was useless the entire time. All of this could've been avoided if Emma and Charlie postponed the wedding to talk about it."

"I couldn't help but notice how everyone except for Emma showed their true personalities. Rachel locked that kid in a closet and didn't help him. She got spooked and let left him to the wolves, which is exactly how she treated her best friend. Mike was a pussy who used his ex-girlfriend as a human shield and he did that again by hiding behind Rachel, no? And Charlie…he didn't even know what happened to the kid he cyberbullied and wrestled with that until he got over it. All three of them repeated their mistakes but Emma was the only one who didn't."

Jay can't help but look at you in awe. Underneath the awful diner lighting, you look beautiful as you dive straight into your analysis and your late night dinner. He can get talkative too, something his parents used to scold him for, and part of him thinks they're the reason why he feels conditioned to keep his opinions and feelings to himself. There are a few people, like Jake and Heeseung, who naturally bring out his loquacious tendencies. Jay feels that way with you and he loves that you aren't afraid to tell him what you think, even if it isn't pleasant.

"How did you feel about the ending? When Charlie and Emma met up at the diner and pretended everything was okay?"

"I honestly don't even know," you say with an exasperated sigh. "If that were me, I would've advised both of them to postpone the wedding and get extensive couples therapy. You?"

"I would've done the same thing," he replies. "They didn't seem like a great fit to me from the start. I mean, why didn't Charlie just read the book before their first date?"

"Men are the worst," you say, rolling your eyes. Jay nods in agreement. Men really do suck.

"Hopefully our night will end better than theirs."

You raise an eyebrow. "With me in a wedding dress and you bloody and bruised?"

Picturing you in a wedding dress makes his heart skip a beat.

"No," he said with a slight blush. "I hope we enjoy our food and maybe you like me enough to want to do this again."

"Let's see how the night ends first," you say coyly. "But I'm having a great time, if that's any consolation. The movie might've been bad, but the company isn't."

Jay laughs and looks down at his plate. "You say things that make me think you're flirting with me."

"What if I am?"

He looks back up at you. "Aren't I the one supposed to make you blush?"

"We still have the whole night ahead of us, Jay. There's plenty of time for that."

"I was surprised when you came up to me at the party," Jay confesses. "I'm not the type of person to just…go up to people the way you do. I thought that was cool. I didn't want to fuck tonight up."

"You could've texted me sooner," you tease, grabbing a fry from his plate. "But it's fine. I'm the kind of person who believes in fate, or whatever you want to call it. Whatever happens is supposed to happen."

"That's a beautiful way of putting it."

"Do you remember what I said to you? I could've looked you up on Instagram or ask Jake but you could've ignored me there too." Jay blushes, shutting his eyes closed. You laugh when you see him and take a sip of your chocolate milkshake.

"God, I don't know why I convinced myself that you were joking."

"Well, I actually told myself that if I saw you in person, that would mean it's worth trying again."

"Really?" You shrug.

"Yup. Simple as that. I desire many things and let fate handle the rest."

"You are…extremely poetic."

"I'm not afraid to say what's on my mind," you tell him. "I think you could learn a thing or two from me."

"I think you're the most beautiful person I've ever seen," Jay says without missing a beat. He holds your gaze, which makes his fingers twitch, but he doesn't relent. It's your turn to be bashful now and he relishes in the sight of you breaking eye contact first.

"You really flatter me, Jay."

"I'm only saying what's on my mind. It's all I've been thinking about for the past two weeks, actually. I can't seem to get you out of my head and I can't tell if that's a good or bad thing."

"It's a good thing," you say. "Definitely a good thing."

Jay pays the entire bill. Your apartment isn't very far from here, just a short seven minute drive. With you sitting in his passenger seat, he has the itch to put his palm on your thigh as some kind of silent claim, but he doesn't because the two of you haven't even kissed.

The short drive ends quickly and you make a passing comment about how the night is still young because it's Friday and you don't have anywhere to be tomorrow morning. Jay decides to push his overthinking tendencies to the side, asking if you'd want to keep hanging out while he drives aimlessly all over down. You say yes and make a joke about how much gas he'd be wasting, but he tells you he doesn't mind it if you're the one he's driving with, and that makes you blush.

It's unfathomable how comfortable Jay is with you already. It's only been one date (two, if you count when you first met), but he's already falling in deep. You talk about life like you're excited to be alive and make him feel like there's something at the end of every tunnel. He learns so much about you by listening to all the things you aren't saying and asks question after question. You do the same, making him feel like he's part of the conversation instead of focusing solely on yourself and Jay gets the sense that you really want to get to know him too. Sometimes he thinks he can talk for hours without anyone interrupting and he feels like this habit of his annoys people around him. But not you, apparently. You hang onto every word and don't interrupt him.

After a near hour of driving, Jay finds himself back at your apartment and walks you to the front door like the gentleman he is.

"I had a really great time tonight," he says, looking down at you. It's unfair how beautiful you are underneath the moonlight.

"You surprised me, Jay."

"I did?"

"Mhm. I always thought you were the lonesome, brooding type. You're intimidating, you know that? Especially when you're smoking. You look…untouchable." He laughs at that.

"Is that a good thing?" Jay asks, looking at the way your eyes travel up and down his body. His neck feels warm all of the sudden.

"It's a really good thing," you say, pushing yourself closer to Jay. "You're too cool to be in most places."

"You're one to talk. You know exactly who you are. That's intimidating."

"I don't go out with just anyone, you know. I made an exception."

"For me?"

"For you."

His eyes flicker down to your lips. He can barely believe his life. Jay must look like he's fighting some invisible urge to remain the gentleman you deserve, but you aren't having that. "Kiss me, Jay."

He does.

God, your lips are so soft. The lip gloss rubbed off an while ago but he still tastes the remnants. Jay's already lost in the feeling of your mouth on his, carefully putting both of his hands on your hips. The feeling of pure adrenaline becomes more intense when he's kissing you with his eyes closed and Jay can only feel an exhilarated jolt in his body when he realizes you're kissing him back. The kiss is as polite as it can be for two semi-horny twenty-year-old-somethings making out in the dead of night, right where anyone could see the two of you. Jay doesn't care, though, and he doesn't think you do either.

It's short-lived because you drop your keys, startling the two of you until you both pull away.

"You taste incredible," Jay says without fully thinking.

"Come upstairs with me?" You ask him in a rush, bending over to pick up your fallen keys.

"Only if you want me to."

"I do, Jay. Come in."

Jay doesn't have time to look at the decor in the living room because you're hauling him past the dark kitchen and up the stairs. You drag him in such a haste that he stumbles as he takes his shoes off, unable to place them neatly by the door. For a second, Jay's worried that the two of you will wake up your roommate, but you open your door and pull him inside with brute force that he stops thinking with his brain and starts thinking with his cock.

Your room is cute. It's very you, dark with red and purple accents with posters and artwork covering every inch of you wall in a tasteful manner. Your desk is littered with makeup, your headphones, and other miscellaneous items Jay can't make out in the dark. The window by your bed provides a bit of moonlight for him to see and he's grateful for it because he's watching you take off your shirt. Your bra is midnight black. A push up, most likely, making your chest look like a cardinal sin. Jay can't help but let his eyes drop to your tits, his eyes watching you breathe heavily.

"Fuck me," Jay whispers. It cuts through the silence of the night and he's about to apologize when you pull him by his neck until his lips are back on yours.

The two of you tumble onto your queen sized bed, effectively pulling Jay's chest to fall flush against yours. He feels you try to push off his jacket, to which he pulls his arms out before tossing it somewhere behind him, while his lips chase after your plush ones. Your hands are all over his body and Jay's horny brain prevents him from holding back like he was when the two of you were outside your front door. You're kissing him just as enthusiastically, fingers clawing at his clothing as your hands explore his chest and abdomen, making Jay recoil at your sensitive touch.

He doesn't know what to focus on. Your voice is breathy and light and your mouth tastes like an invitation to sin underneath the moonlight. Jay can barely register your tits pressing up against his chest because his dick is starting to harden in his jeans with every second that passes. Your mouth leaves his own and he holds back a pathetic whine because he wants to keep kissing you while you're underneath him, but your wet lips attach to his hot neck. He almost forgot how good it feels to be touched by somebody he's actually excited about. Sex isn't always just sex to him and he thinks there must be something fundamentally wrong with him for being unable to truly live in the moment if he isn't completely attracted to the girl he's with. Hovering above your semi-naked body with your mouth sucking on his warm skin makes him feel like his soul is on fire burning with unashamed desire.

It's hard to keep still when you're kissing him like you're desperate for him too. His fingertips itch to move your bra and panties out of the way, but he doesn't want to ruin a good thing by acting out of haste. When you pull your head back, presumably from the discomfort of craning your head at an uncomfortable angle, Jay sees his opportunity to make you feel as good as you make him feel. His mouth presses long, wet kisses along your jawline until you're moaning straight into the air and right next to his eardrum.

God. You sound divine.

You sound like a siren luring him into the deep end. He's a sailor braving the storm when he hears your song echoing from the distance, turning his ship from the traveling course to sail wherever you are. Your breathy voice and rolling hips makes his dick impossibly hard and Jay never imagined he'd ever get like this over dry humping, but you seem to take him out of his element and reward him for it.

Jay has long since stopped asking for verbal permission because he keeps getting cut off by your eager lips. Your hands have found their way to the back of his head, tugging on his soft strands the more he travels down your neck. His mouth sucks on the spot just underneath your earlobe and the euphoric tension makes your legs wrap around his body, effectively trapping him right where he wants to be. Jay would never complain about you clinging onto him like this. In fact, he wants to be as close as he possibly can with you.

Tugging on his roots causes him to groan against your skin. Your silent room makes the combination of your moans sound like something out of an amateur lewd film and it makes Jay's senses go haywire. The more you tug on his hair, the more he pushes his covered dick against the fabric of your panties. He can feel you. Jay notices the way you push your lap straight into his like you're trying to feel his cock through his denim. He savors the way your body arches deeply when his tongue licks your earlobe, making your entire body shudder to the point where Jay's arm catches you before you roll over.

"Take your shirt off," you moan with an opened mouth, moving your hands from his head to underneath the hem. Jay grunts when your manicured nails scratch down his toned abdomen. Fuck, your touch might as well send him in a spiral.

The shirt comes off and it'll live on your bedroom floor for the foreseeable future because the only thing on Jay's mind is the pure desire that emanates from your gaze. You resemble that of a hungry feline ready to pounce on your prey and Jay doesn't care that your eyes are raking all over his body. In fact, he finds it incredibly sexy that you're objectifying him like this—is it objectification if he allows it?—because it turns him on. Knowing you want him as badly as he wants you is the very on top. When it comes to you, getting his dick wet means absolutely nothing if you aren't into him too.

He's caught off guard momentarily, allowing you to push him until his back hits your mattress. Jay follows your body, watching and feeling the way you climb onto his lap like you're its rightful owner. This moment is something out of his wildest wet dream—you in a black lace bra with panties pasted onto your pussy because of how wet you've made them. Jay could only guess how turned on you were but now that he has a clear view of you, he almost can't believe you're letting him see you like this.

Jay doesn't think when he brings his thumb to nudge at your wet center. You buck your hips at that and let out this soft, airy moan that makes his cock twitch. He's sure you can feel it but he doesn't particularly care, not when you're grinding again his thumb that's rubbing you right over your covered clit.

"You're so wet," Jay groans, pushing the pad of his thumb harder against your swollen bud. "Your panties are soaked."

"You turn me on," you confess unashamed, hands coming to the button of his jeans as you try to take them off. Your long nails prove to be troublesome, though. Jay chuckles at your frustration and unbuttons his pants as you lift off of him until he's able to push them down far enough to reveal his boxers and the hardened outline of his dick.

His jeans sit uncomfortably halfway down his legs but Jay can't bring himself to care when you're looking down at his lap like his cock is a piece of mean. Did you mean to lick your lips or was that a natural response? You marvel at it for a short moment before crawling your way back up until your clothed core drags along his boxers and for the first time in a while, he doesn't have to rely on his hand or a spare toy to get him off.

Feeling your warmth is enough to get Jay's blood pumping even harder. He feels the metronome that is his heartbeat pounding in his ears when your hands roam around his naked chest, feeling every ridge and dip his abdomen and pecs have to offer. You run your fingertips over his nipples and Jay visibly shudders at that, to which you smile wickedly and laugh like you find him amusing. Your hips don't stop moving either, slowly grinding your panties over his boxers as if you've decided to take your sweet time with him compared to when you latched your mouth onto his neck like a leech.

Every drag of your hips brings him closer to Heaven. Jay's grateful he's sober for two reasons: he'd probably cum in his pants the second he saw you in your bra and the feeling of your hand repositioning his dick in your boxers so that your clit can rub over his tip is sensational. Jay's never fucked a girl who was so intentional before. He's familiar with putting on this persona of the guy who wants to take care of every girl he sleeps with (that's true for the most part) but his heart isn't in it half the time. But you…you know exactly what you want and you aren't afraid to take it. It's what he's grown to like about you over the course of his date with you and Jay's experiencing what that's like right now.

"Drag your pussy over me like you mean it," he grunts, bringing his hands to your body as if to guide you in a steady rhythm.

"Fuck," you curse. "This feels so fucking good."

"Your body's phenomenal," he groans like it's a confession he wants you to hear. "Why have you been hiding these pretty tits from me?"

You laugh at him, arching your back to give his face a full view of your chest. "You like these?"

"I love them," he replies, digging his fingertips into your flesh. "Makes me wanna see them with your bra off."

You comply like the deviant you are, expertly unhooking your bra and tossing it somewhere onto your bed. Jay almost drools at the sight of your erect nipples, licking his lips involuntarily. You look like a beautiful, demonic succubus straight from the deepest pits of hell meant to seduce Jay. He'd gladly sell his soul if that means he gets to be the only one to experience you like this.

Watching you from below might as well be the last thing he sees before he dies. Your tits look phenomenal as they bounce the more you drag your covered pussy over his lap. The soiled fabric must feel so good against your bare, wet pussy because you're moaning like your life depends on it. Your vocal moans bring him closer and closer to the edge he's trying not to peer over, but you make it hard when you look and sound like that. Sexy beyond compare. Jay's pictured this exact moment every single night as his hands cup his dick without him realizing it most times. He finds that his body responds to yours in ways it's never responded to anyone before and at this rate, he's let his cock do the thinking for him. Every single rational thought he's had about being a gentleman tonight has been thrown out of your window, never to be seen again.

Jay yanks you down by your neck and pushes your lips with his own until your tongues collide and smash against one another. The wet spit makes the whole affair that much more erotic, especially when Jay's bending his legs and lifting them up and thrust his covered dick right against your panties, paying no mind to the fact that his jeans are technically caught at his ankles. You two must look like two desperate people rutting your laps against one another, if he had to guess. Fuck it. It feels so good. Grinding into you like this makes him feel like he's in a quick haste. He wishes he could do more, like peel your clothes off and kiss every inch of your skin until he memorizes what your body tastes like, but you're both too far gone to think about that right now. You moan hotly against his lips and push your tongue against him harder like you're trying to get underneath his skin. It's working and Jay grabs your ass cheeks, gripping onto your meaty flesh while he moans and thrusts his hips like a wild bull.

"I'm close, Jay. Fuck, keep doing that and you'll make me cum," you moan, grinding your ass back onto him. The way the tip of his cock hits your wet patch is indescribable. He wishes he could feel that with his raw cock instead.

"You feel me like that? The way my dick pushes against you?" Jay grunts, bucking his hips. "This is just a preview. I'm going to fuck your pussy until you crave me when I'm gone."

"Yes, fuck!"

"Gonna fuck that drooling pussy of yours." Something about one particular thrust makes you yelp, making you cling onto him like your life depends on it. "Cum for me," Jay moans, gripping your ass tighter until you're moaning louder. "That's so hot. You're so hot."

"Cumming, cumming!"

"I'm cumming too," he grunts in short breaths.

Your covered pussy pushed against him when you come and Jay follows soon after. He feels the way his hot seed shoots straight from his slit and onto his boxers, the sticky substance rubbing against his skin with every thrust. Jay feels like a teenager coming like this but it's worth it when he looks up to see your eyes closed shut, mouth hanging open as you catch your breath and relieve yourself from the incredible high. The sweat on his forehead starts to cool when his hips thrust haphazardly against you and Jay spills the last of his semen into his pants when you drop your head to his shoulder.

The sounds of your heavy breaths fill the quiet room. Jay strokes your back when you breathe against his neck in a silent attempt to calm you down from the dirty affair, readjusting himself to let you lay your head completely on his chest. He kisses the crown of your head as you curl your fist against him and the feeling of your mouth littering soft kisses on his naked body makes his heart flutter.

However, the moment is cut short when you receive a call on your phone, startling the both of you. You yelp in his arms and his heart rate skyrockets until you're both looking at each other and laughing at the absurd juxtaposition having made each other come to an orgasm before your phone rang. Jay reluctantly lets you go, but he watches the way you turn back to look at him before answering.

"Now?" He hears you say. "What? I'm not out of breath. I just ran up the stairs, though. Okay sue, fried rice is fine. I'll see you in fifteen. Drive safe."

"Who was that?" Jay asks when you hang up the phone.

"My roommate," you reply. "I thought she was gonna be out until tomorrow, but her plans changed and now she's coming home with takeout."

"Great roommate, awful timing."

You smile at him apologetically, walking towards him until you're standing in between his legs. He sits on the edge of your bed and places his hands on your hips to draw you in closer to him, neck craning to look up as you bend down to give him a kiss.

"I'm sorry, Jay," you apologize. "I don't want to kick you out, but she's going to question you like she's my mother. You remember the girl Jake's talking to, right? That's her."

"She seems nice, though."

"She's the best," you say with a smile against his mouth. "She's my best friend and she's really protective over me. I don't really want her first time meeting you to be like, well…this."

"We've met before, though?"

"Yeah, but not as the guy I'm seeing." Jay feels his heart bounce against his chest. He likes the sound of that.

"Don't worry about it," he says, rubbing the pads of his thumbs over your skin. "I had a great time tonight. The date and the sex."

"I can't believe we dry humped on my bed," you giggle, looking down at his naked torso. "You're really hot, Jay."

"You're hotter," he says, kissing you again. "I should probably get dressed, huh?"

You pout. "I don't want you to go."

"I don't want to go either, but your friend is coming back." Jay pecks your lips and pushes you to the side to grab his discarded clothes and to fix his pants. His come is sticky in his boxers but there's no time for him to clean himself up, so he decides he'll brace the uncomfortable drive home.

"Stop being such a green flag," you grumble cutely, eyebrows furrowing like you can't believe he has the audacity to be respectful.

"You're so cute," he admits without thinking, leaning down to kiss you again before kissing your temple.

The two of you put your clothes back on and he stumbles back down the stairs, pretending like his legs aren't jello from humping you ten minutes ago. Jay becomes a happier version of himself when you walk him to his car and he kisses you one last time, his hand cupping the back of your neck to keep you in place. He leaves soon after that, watching the way you touch your lips and smile to yourself in the rear view mirror.

You're so cute.

✧･ﾟ─────────── ✧･

Despite that incredible night, exams get in the way of spending alone time together.

The two of you hang out on campus more than not after realizing the pathway to your classes overlap. Jay doesn't mind these innocent run ins (that have turned into intentional dates spending time with one another) because he learns more about you the more you talk. And the more you talk, the deeper he falls.

There's something about the way you carry yourself. You embody confidence that makes Jay want to kiss you all over and let everybody know you're with him. They probably do, since the two of you have graduated to holding hands in public (so much so that Heeseung and Jake have since started teasing him for it). Life feels better with you in it. Jay's never been the kind of person who lives for other people, but you're a welcome presence that feels like a steady addition to his life instead of a burden. He wakes up in the morning looking forward to hearing your every thought until your lungs burn from talking so much. He could listen to your voice forever. And you listen to him too, letting him drone on and on about everything and nothing at the same time. The conversations don't feel forced or make him feel like he's supposed to be interested for the sake of being polite.

Everything happens for a reason, right? People fall into place when the universe aligns or some shit like that. That's what Jay thinks when he's high out of his mind, sitting on his bed as he watches anime on his TV. He's been having more of these sentimental epiphanies lately. It's like his mind focuses on the positives instead of what obstacles he has in front of him. He used to think you were a welcomed distraction, but now he thinks you're actually a perfect complement.

There's no stress with you. Jay lets himself fall deeply through your intuitive nature and all the subtle things he picks up. He loves that you're more considerate than you give off, always taking the temperature of the room and thinking before you speak. You're loud, animated, and entirely too whimsical to ever peak in university. You've got a million stories to tell him and he learns so much about you with every anecdote that passes through your lips. Jay notices how guarded you are and can't help but feel so special that he's an exception to this condition. It almost feels like he's in the inner circle, but the payoff has less to do with access to you and more to do with the fact that he's watching you grow softer. It's as if you're allowing yourself to fall for him too.

He'd never rush or make you choose him when you aren't ready. Jay's the kind of person who adapts and takes things for what they are instead of trying to find the deeper meaning when there is none. You're so delicate in Jay's eyes. He's stopped overthinking with you and started taking initiative for things like holding your hand or suggesting things to do when the two of you aren't getting stoned or studying. He tries not to look at you when he sees you blushing, but it's hard to ignore how cute you look when you're trying (and failing) to pretend you aren't affected by Jay's ability to read your mind. He's developed this canny ability to read you like an open book. It's adorable to see you opening up to him in ways you don't with other people.

The four-day weekend is exactly what Jay needs.

Something about a student-led event followed by a national holiday. It doesn't matter. Jay has no interest in keeping up with student life nor did he care about it in the first place, but he's grateful for it this year because that means getting to spend more time with you. On Thursday, the two of you spent the entire day at the aquarium whilst high on edibles. On Friday morning, he paid for breakfast. Now it's Saturday evening and your excuse for knocking on his door at nine in the evening is because apparently, your best friend and Jake were planning on hooking up at your place and forgot to tell you.

You come to Jay's apartment naturally. You say this to him like it's a no-brainier before he could ask you why Jake hadn't invite your friend over instead because he hates making people feel like they have to go the extra mile to get what they want. But you laugh, already a bit high from an edible you had taken earlier, and ask him to roll a joint to share. Either way, the two of you will be alone and it doesn't really matter the location, your place or his. It starts to make sense the second Jay's high kicks in because he's noticing the fact that you're wearing a shirt that lets him know you aren't wearing a bra.

His mind wanders and he thinks about all the selfies you've sent him where your tits are clearly on display. Somewhere along the way, you've graduated from sending photos of yourself to pictures of your body like you're trying to entice him. It always works, especially when the photo is just shy of a proper nude. He thinks it's sexier that way and he's grown enough confidence to send you things as a thank you, including shirtless photos, dick prints, and pictures of himself after getting out of the shower. He'd like to think you're using these to get off, imagining what you'd look like shoving your fingers inside of your pussy. Jay pictures your toes curling and eyebrows pinching when that final thrust makes you come, your free hand scrolling through all of the suggestive photos he's sent you as you orgasm.

It comes to a head one night when he received a picture of your ass when he asks you about the color of your nails since you had mentioned an appointment earlier that day. God. It looks just as plush as it does in real life. One of your hands cups your ass cheek, your perfectly manicured nails on display right next to your perfect ass. Jay grows rock hard in record time, his dick swelling in his sweats until he pulled it down just enough to reveal himself. He sat in the middle of his bed with his back against the headboard, one hand stroking himself as the other holds his phone so that he could stare at the image. Tugging on himself wasn't enough. Jay wanted you to be the one to do it. Dry humping can't be how far the two of you go. Imagining himself burying his face in your ass is what compels him to record a video of himself finishing, angling his dick towards his chest as he comes everywhere as he moans your name. He sends it to you without thinking and you call a minute later. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to realize the two of you ended up having phone sex.

And well, Jay is a man after all. This is all he can think about as you're sitting next to him on the very couch you sat on when he first met you. It doesn't help that he's high, which is making him laser focused on the image of you grinding on top of him.

With the ceiling fan turned on and Jake out of the house, Jay doesn't bother stepping outside to light his joint. Not that Jake would mind. Matter of fact, it does something to Jay's psyche knowing you're smoking his stuff and getting high off of it too. It makes him feel like he has some invisible claim on you, even if you're getting high with other people. He'd rather not think about that.

"What do you wanna watch?" Jay asks after blowing out a puff of smoke. He passes the joint to you as you sift through the abundance of movies and television shows, aimlessly scrolling past them without giving it too much thought.

"I'm in the mood to watch something supernatural," you say. He watches you look at his TV intently. "Have you ever watched Castlevania?"

"Can't say I've ever heard of it."

You turn your head like what he's said is completely outrageous. "You're lying."

"Sorry to disappoint."

"I need a hit after hearing that." You laugh, making Jay want to physically melt into the couch as if his skin and bones are made of butter. You inhale the smoke like a professional and tuck your legs underneath your body to make yourself more comfortable on his couch.

"Is it that good?"

"Jay, it's like, the best show I've ever watched. It's about this guy named Trevor—who comes from a long line of monster hunters, fighting Dracula because his wife was accused of being a witch and burned at the stake. Everyone's a vampire. It's sexy."

"You like the dark and supernatural, don't you?"

"It's only the best genres ever, Jay." You take another hit from the joint. "What kind of things do you like to watch?"

"Sports, mostly. I could get into a thriller every now and then. I'm more of a music person, honestly. I don't watch a lot of movies or TV."

"Hm," you hum. "You'll have to show me what kind of music you listen to someday."

"Yeah," Jay replies with his eyelids focusing on your pretty lips. "You should come over when I'm not stoned out of my mind so I could show you my records. I feel like a limp noodle right now."

"I'd really like that. I have a few vinyls but I don't have a record player. I should bring some over."

"I'll bet you have great taste in music."

"Duh," you say playfully, smoking from the joint. "We don't have to watch Castlevania if you aren't into it. I'm sure I can find something else."

Jay shakes his head. "I'd love to see what kind of things you're into." You turn towards him and cock your head to the side.

"Yeah?" Jay nods and you smile at him like you're amused. Maybe the marijuana is making him lost his mind more than it usually does. In actuality, this is how Jay feels when he's with you, stoned or sober.

It's really hard to focus on the screen in front of him when you're sitting so close. It started at a respectable distance with his arm resting by his sides. The last thing Jay wants to do is make you uncomfortable in any way, especially because he knows you're high. It's the first time you're hanging out at his place without a bunch of other people here too. The two of you are alone with nothing but the sound of Castlevania echoing in his living room and the lingering scent of marijuana in the air despite an opened window and the fan above.

Halfway through the episode, you make a comment about how cold it's gotten since you first arrived and Jay's quick to get on his feet and retrieve a spare blanket from his room. He drapes it over you like you're something precious he wants to tuck into bed, which makes you laugh, and Jay swears he could listen to you make that sound every day without getting tired of it. Just as he's about to sit down, you open the blanket and tell him it's big enough to share, and Jay's smart enough not to tell you he's actually overheating like a furnace because his body runs warm. He'd gladly let trickles of sweat collect on his forehead if that means getting to be next to you without a barrier holding him back.

It's difficult to pretend he hasn't been half-hard ever since he watched you take your first puff. Jay was somewhat grateful that you got cold enough for him to throw a blanket over you and even more grateful that you insisted on sharing it with him. You must be doing this on purpose, right? Or is this all in Jay's mind?

It doesn't really matter. Not when you're sliding to the floor, kneeling in front of him.

Jay almost feels sorry for you. Your favorite show is playing but your back is turned to it in favor of staring at the tent that's forming in his pants. These cursed grey sweats. Yeah, maybe he chose to wear them because he knows girls go crazy for dick prints. His mind wandered to the night you bounced yourself on his clothed lap until you came and didn't seem to mind that he was rutting himself against your covered pussy. Driving home was pure torture for him but he didn't want to overstay his welcome, especially with your roommate coming home.

So, yeah. Sue him. Jay isn't so naive to think you wouldn't have paid any attention to him with these particular pair of sweatpants on. In fact, you seem to look at him like you're hungry, barely paying attention to the way he's staring down at you like he's nervous for what you'll say or do.

You catch him off guard when you nuzzle yourself straight into his lap. He nearly jumps at the contact of your nose against his dick, feeling the way you drag it up before using your lips to feel him beneath the sweats. You're slow with your movements, kissing your way from his base to the tip, feeling the way he twitches against your touch. He's caught halfway, somewhere between embarrassed and shameless as he watches you push your face right into his lap. Jay's imagined what you giving him a blowjob more times that he can count and he's had so many wet dreams of you jerking him off with your hands instead of his own. But he never quite pictured you to be the kind of girl who truly savors her time. Maybe it's because you're both high or maybe, just maybe, you like him, but Jay can hardly believe you're pushing your face into his cock without taking his pants off.

He's starting to think you're way freakier than he could've ever imagined. It's making him horny.

Eventually, your fingers hook on the band of his pants. Jay gets the hint and lifts himself off of the couch just enough for you to completely pull the fabric off of him, letting them pool to his ankles before helping him step out of them completely. He doesn't know what you do with them as he's far too excited, if that isn't completely evident by the way his dick starts to stand at attention. He's on his way to being the hardest he's ever been, he thinks. You eye him like you're hungry and you might as well be drooling because you're licking your lips at the sight of his flushed tip.

Jay doesn't know what to expect. It's been a while since he's been this turned on and watching you arch your back and pucker your lips just to press the softest kiss to his tip makes his entire body shiver. He's masturbated while high a million times before and knows what kinds of things make him tick and reach his orgasmic peak quickly. It's different with other people, though, and much different with you.

You've managed to catch Jay by surprise in more ways than one. He's confident when it comes to his music and walking through life without thinking everybody who remotely looks in his general direction has it out for him, but when it comes to girls, he doesn't think he's as experienced as Jake. Yes, he's had sex and short flings before, but they've never held any merit to what he wants in life. Jay doesn't see the use in wasting his time having mediocre hookups or entertaining people because they clearly think he's the hot loner who looks sexy when he's high (which was the case of his last hookup and the reason why he swore off of sleeping with random girls he meets at parties Jake forces him to go to).

You seem to be the complete opposite of anyone he's ever met before. You're like him in some ways—paying no mind to outside opinion. Even prior to meeting you, he's seen the way you carry yourself when you walk and how you treat people like they're a close friend even if you've just met them. He felt that way the night he properly met you for the first time and it caught him by surprise when you admitted to being serious about wanting him to text you. In a way, it's almost like you're pursuing him, even though you aren't. All you're doing is asking him to hang out and he's saying yes like a puppy who follows its owner wherever she goes. In fact, Jay wants you more than you could ever imagine. It's just that, well, you're very fucking beautiful and he's afraid he'll mess it up if you found out how often he imagines you laying in his bed stuffed full with his semen.

That, and he's scared of what you'll think if he ever admits that he'd like to take you out for breakfast after he fucks you.

"You're bigger than I thought," you say in a near whisper. Jay twitches at that and you let out a breathy laugh. It hits his skin and he tilts his head back as it teases him.

"You can't just say things like that," says Jay, looking back down at you. "You're going to kill me someday."

"Death by orgasm. Doesn't sound too bad."

"You don't know how good you look right now."

"Oh, I think I do," you say confidently, pushing your head forward to lick his slit, to which he hisses. "I know I look good sucking dick, Jay. I'm really good at it too. Do you want to see what I can do?"

"You're an evil person," he says without thinking. But you laugh like you enjoy seeing him in such agony, knowing your warm and wet mouth is almost where he needs you the most.

"Give me the joint." Jay hands it to you, watches as you inhale some of it, and feels his eyes nearly roll to the back of his head when you exhale right on his cock.

Your mouth follows soon after. Without using your hands, you dip your head until your mouth catches his tip to envelope it into your mouth, letting his velvety texture become familiar with your tongue. You're intentional with your movements as if you're really trying to savor the feeling of his hardening dick as you push him inside little by little. Because the apartment is empty, Jay can be a little louder with his moans than usually. When he knows Jake's home, Jay shoves a pillow over his face to drown the sound of his deep, breathy moans to avoid an awkward encounter with his best friend once he's finished. He should be embarrassed that he's already making all kinds of sounds the more you get his dick wet, but he doesn't care. Not when this feels so fucking divine.

Curse your shorts. When he looks down and past your mouth on his dick, he looks at your plush ass as you arch your back to fully grasp him. Jay wishes he could reach down and take that stupid fabric off of your body and he supposes he could if he really wanted to, but the tone you've set is far more sensual than how he'd like to have you. He isn't picky, though. He'd rather endure your slow, sensual torture than scare you off by putting his dick inside of you right off the bat.

Your tight mouth takes him inch by inch at a snail's pace, but there more be a method to your madness because you make him wetter with each push and pull of your head. You periodically remove yourself from him to smoke from the joint before the leaf completely burns until you become tired of not being able to use your hands. Jay takes it from you and inhales a long, satisfying puff. It settles into the depths of his lungs and when your free hand cups his balls, his head tilts back and the smoke rises as he blows it out.

You're the devil reincarnate. Or you're a demon who's wickedly good with her tongue. Maybe you're some kind of angel whose sole purpose is making him come. Jay doesn't really know what you are, but he knows you know exactly what you're doing with his mouth. He doesn't want to think about how many people have experienced this side of you before because he'd rather pretend he's the only person you've ever treated like this.

The high is pure ecstasy. Jay looks down to see your beautiful mouth wrapped up in his cock, head pushing yourself down on his long, girthy dick until your mouth stretches around it. He loves that you aren't neglecting his sack either, rolling them between your fingers until it makes his toes curl. You hum in pleasure when he moans after your index finger traces the seam, making something shoot up his spine when you do. His thighs flex underneath your touch and he sees himself glistening with how much drool is coming from your lips. It makes the glide easier and he feels the way your throat constricts around him every time you push yourself further down.

The sight of his dick completely disappearing inside of your throat is fucking sinful. You push your nose against his pelvis until your choking around him and the gagging sound makes his balls tense up. Jay tries not to drop the joint and considers finding a nearby ash tray to put it out just to avoid accidentally dropping it onto the couch or, God forbid, you. Spit completely falls from the corners of your mouth but you don't give up either. He groans loudly and uses his free hand to stroke your head as if he's using you as an anchor.

"Oh my God," Jay moans. "Your mouth is so fucking tight. Fuck, you like to deep throat?"

You pull yourself off of him, not bothering to wipe any of the drool from your mouth. He watches the way the spit connects from his tip to your tongue before you break the chain to stroke him some more and it nearly puts him into a coma.

"I can do a lot more than that," you tell him. It's like you're trying to remain playful while simultaneously wanting to show him just what you can do. And fuck, Jay's more than willing to let you do whatever you want to him.

"Oh yeah?" Jay asks coyly. "What else can that mouth of yours do?"

You don't answer him with words. Instead, you lift his cock with your hands and bow your head until you're spitting leftover drool from deep throating him right onto his balls. He hisses when the warmth hits his most sensitive area and his next moan comes somewhere from deep within him. The surface of your tongue licks it up until you're lapping at him like a kitten drinking milk. He feels the pass of your wet muscle over and over again while your hand has started to move in tandem with your mouth, stroking him while you work on his balls.

He doesn't think he's ever experienced a girl pleasing him like this. Jay's has blowjobs in the past, but it always felt like the girls he'd sleep with viewed blowjobs like it was a chore to thank him for going down on them first. With you, Jay gets the sense that you like giving blowjobs and playing with his dick because it turns you on, not because you think it turns him on. God, he's so attracted to the fact that you don't really care about anyone but yourself. That's not completely true, and he knows it, but your ability to chase after what you want without caring what other people thinks turns him on more than seeing you sucking him off (which is a lie, Jay is so fucking horny).

"Holy shit," Jay curses under his breath. He shoves the tip of the joint in his mouth and savors the feeling of that initial inhale. He groans when the smoke leaves his mouth. "You're so fucking good at this. Treating my dick so well. Fuck."

You moan against his balls, rewarding him by pushing against him even harder and squeezing his cock at the same time. Your hand is so wet and the sound that echos the room sound better than Jay could've ever imagined. His own hand doesn't do him justice, not even when he gathers enough spit to pretend his palm is your warmth mouth as he fucks into his fist like his life depends on it.

His moans seem to motivate you to make him come faster because your mouth trails from his wet and swollen sack right back to his cock. Your hand hold him by the base before angling your mouth right over him and pushing his dick past your lips. Unlike before, you aren't slow with it. Instead, your head's moving at a faster rate until he feels the gentle scrape of your teeth along his sensitive veins and the way your tongue moves in a circle every time your reach his hip. He grunts every single time it passes against his slit and feels the pressure building in his balls as if he could finish at any moment, but he tries his best to keep going steady because he wants to draw this out for as long as humanly possible.

It's beautiful how your throat accommodates his cock. With your mouth completely stuffed the more you push your head down onto his exceptionally hard dick, you choke and gag without stopping. Jay feels fucking invincible right now.

"What a good mouth," he moans, legs widening as he slouches from how good you're making him feel. "You feel so fucking good around me. Your mouth is so tight and wet, fuckkk. Squeeze my balls too—yes, just like that. Shit, you're gonna make me cum soon. I'm so fucking close."

You moan around him and renders Jay completely fucking useless because of how good that vibration feels. He bucks his hips until the tip hits the back of your throat involuntarily but you don't stop your ministrations. You keep your fast pace as you squeeze his sack in your hands, letting the drool coat them as you push him closer to his climax. He thinks about cumming straight down your throat but thinks that might be a little too much for the first time you're blowing him. Would finishing on your face be more appropriate? Every single open seems more lewd than the next, but he can't deny that he'd like to see what you look like with his semen splashed all over your pretty cheeks and lips.

"I wanna cum on your face," he moans, fighting the urge to fuck your throat like he'd fuck your pussy. "I want to drown you in my cum."

You pull off from his mouth and use both of your hands to jerk him off with his tip angled right at your beautiful face. "Cum for me. Make a mess on my face."

"Fuck, you'd let me?" You nod rapidly.

"Cum on my fucking face, Jay. I want it so bad."

You don't have to tell him twice. When he feels his balls twitch for the last time, Jay's cum shoots from his slip and hits your cheek first. His semen splashes everywhere—your lips and across your nose—as he moans, holding tightly onto the joint to prevent it from falling. It's a wonder he's able to preserve it as he comes, his hips jerking as a consequence to the intense high as he climaxes all of your face. You take it like a fucking champ, too, smiling with your eyes closed as you feel his warm come seep right onto your face. You truly are a freak if you love this feeling. You're even laughing. Jay's never seen anything hotter in his entire life.

"Fuck me," he curses as his cock softens. He takes a short drag from the joint and stares at the beautiful mess on your face, nearly choking on it when he sees your tongue dart out of your mouth to lick the cum that has landed on the corners of your mouth. "You're a fucking fein. A fein for my cum, or something." You laugh again, scooping what's on your cheek with your fingers before sucking on them. "Yeah, you really know how to make a guy feel good. Stay right there. Let me clean you up."

Jay feels terrible and leaving you in his living room on your knees with his come all over your face, but he'd rather soak a wash cloth in warm water than let it dry all over you. He comes back quickly after having cleaned himself up in a haste and gentle swipes the fabric until you're clean.

"I have face wash if you want to use it," Jay says as he wipes the corner of your eye. "I don't want my come staining your gorgeous face."

"You're so thoughtful, Jay," you reply. The sincerity in your voice is a complete turnaround from your lewd acts just a few minutes prior. It makes something swell within his soul because he's suddenly picturing his future looking like this domestic, wonderful bliss with moments of eroticism.

You take him up on his offer and make a comment about how this expensive the face wash is. Jay's mom got him an entire line of skincare for Christmas and he's a bit reluctant to admit that his skin looks so much better now that's he's actively taking care of it. You reassure him, letting him know that there's nothing hotting than people being self sufficient and caring for themselves before swiping the face wash all over your face. It takes you a good minute to completely rid yourself of his come. Jay leans against the door frame with his hands crossed over his chest, smiling like an idiot at how domestic this all feels.

Call him crazy, but Jay's the type of person to fall fast. He's learned lessons the hard way, which typically entails falling for people who don't feel the same way about him, but spending time with you makes him think otherwise. Jay realizes you enjoy getting to know him too and you never silence him when he apologizes for talking so much. There's an equal balance of talking and listening on both ends, something Jay wishes he could achieve with every person he meets. He hates getting his hopes up just for things to fall through. It doesn't matter if it's a friendship or a relationship because it's mostly the same to him. He hates people who aren't honest and deceptive. College is the time to experiment and figure out who you are, sure, but Jay has always known that he's the kind of guy who values loyalty and transparency above all else.

Despite his best efforts, Jay manages to fall for you every time he holds himself back. Vulnerability is a hard thing to come by and he's more scared of being honest about himself than he lets on. It's scary to open his heart and share parts of himself to people who aren't guaranteed to stay forever. That's part of life, but it gets to a point where being vulnerable means getting his heart stomped all over in the name of having "fun." But it's not fun for Jay and he's as honest as they come. He'd rather be alone for the rest of his life than entertain people who don't have his best interest in mind, especially when they tell him they care about him but don't mean it.

Perhaps his general nonchalance about what other people are doing intimidates those who have deep seeded insecurities that can only be fixed by pretending to be someone they aren't. Jay has this crazy theory that probably isn't true aside to feed his own ego, but his friends have said he's a mirror. He reflects every beautiful and ugly trait right back to others, forcing people to confront who they are in the midst of standing right next to Jay, who accepts himself for who he is, faults and all. He's learned that people don't typically like it when they're reminding of things they'd rather forget. Jay is as open as they come, willing to experience things for a good story to look back on or learn from past mistakes. Learning how other people aren't as keen on growing into a better version of themselves made the world look absolutely bleak and meeting new people makes Jay weary from the get go.

Despite his brain telling him to be extra cautious, he can't help but give all of himself to you. Every conversation pulls him deeper into dangerous territory but for the first time in a while, Jay isn't so scared of the unknown. Even if, God forbid, this ends in heartbreak, Jay doesn't think he'll crumble into a hollow version of himself. He'd be sad, but he'd be content knowing he gave it a shot. The act of trying is better than being held back by fear.

The two of you smoke some more and restart the first episode at Jay's request and when his hand inches towards your lap to return the favor, you intertwine your fingers with his and kiss him on the lips. We've got all the time in the world, but I really want you to watch this first. You can eat my out afterwards, you say, smiling against his mouth before kissing him again. How could Jay say no to that? Besides, his brain is short-circuiting after receiving the most mind bending blowjob he's ever had in his life. A guy needs to recover from such an experience. The fact that you, someone who refrains from physical touch, is actively clinging onto his arm and cuddling against his side is far better than anything he could've ever hoped for.

He becomes engrossed in Castlevania and the two of you end up watching another episode. Jay glances down at you every once in a while and can't help but play with your fingers the more he watches the television. All of this feels so incredibly domestic and Jay has to force himself to stop smiling because he thinks you'll view him like a lovesick idiot. Maybe he is.

✧･ﾟ─────────── ✧･

"Do you want me to pick you guys up?" Jay asks on speakerphone as he fixes his hair with a little bit of styling gel.

"No, we're gonna split an Uber. No use coming when I'll see you anyway."

"You know I don't mind," he says casually.

"I know, baby. That's real sweet of you, but don't worry about it."

"You could spend the night and I can drive you back tomorrow morning, if you want. So you don't have to spend more money."

"Oh, Jongseong, do you want me to spend the night?"

"Of course I do," he says with a smile on his face as he hears you laugh. "I always want to spend time with you."

"You…Are such a little shit. Don't make me blush on the phone."

"Let me pick you up so I can make you blush in person."

"You two are disgustingly cute," your friend says from beside you. "Like, I've never seen her act so cutesy before."

"She's so cute when she's trying to be tough."

"That's true," says your friend. "But remember, she was mine first, okay?"

"Of course," Jay replies, "I'd never get in the way."

"Good! We'll be at your place in thirty."

"See you soon, Jay," you tell him before hanging up the phone.

You come in wearing the most gorgeous dress with golden accents all over your body. Jay can hear you before he sees you because your bracelets smack against one another every time you move and he thinks that's the sexiest thing a woman could ever do. Unlike the first time he met you, he isn't afraid to pull you by the waist and join your little parade as you walk around to greet every person you know, taking shot after shot along with the joint Jay's passing around to anyone who asks.

When you finally register Jay's presence beside you, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to see the way you're eyeing him like a piece of meat. His biceps are on display along with a nasty stack of rings that make him look like walking sin. There's something about Jay tonight that makes him look extra delectable and you're looking at him like you'd pounce if there weren't so many people around. You almost parade him around like he's arm candy or another accessory for your outfit. Even Jake, who usually has to force Jay to put a little effort into coming out of his bedroom, nods in approval.

You only leave his side for ten minutes when a girl you know is asking you to help her redo her eyeliner in the bathroom, apologizing to Jay before skipping off to help her. He doesn't mind, though. In fact, he loves that you're eager to help others and make yourself available for people who politely ask for your help. You're considerate and generous like that.

"You guys look cozy," Jake says, bumping his elbow against Jay's forearm. "I can't believe you actually wanted to come out of your room tonight."

"I only come if the company's good," Jay retorts, bringing his cup to his mouth.

"Hey!" The two of them share a laugh. "She's good for you, Jay. You light up every time she walks in the room."

"That's the corniest thing you could've ever said to me."

"It's true though. I know you, man. You need to get to know somebody before you like them and you like her. You'd be crazy not to ask her out officially."

"I was planning out asking her to be my girlfriend on our next date," Jay confesses. "She loves mini golfing and she's extremely casual about a lot of things. Hates fancy dinners and making a big show of things. I wanted to ask her when we get food, or something."

"That doesn't sound super romantic."

"Trust me, it is," Jay says. "She's the kind of person who can appreciate big gestures, but I know she loves it even more when people pick up on the small thing. She hates being the center of attention even if that's where she ends up, so I know she'd appreciate if I asked her casually. I mean, it's not casual, but it's not over-the-top, you know?"

"I totally get it," Jake says with a nod. "What's meaningful to her is more important than looking 'romantic.'"

"Exactly. Don't get me wrong, though. I'll wine and dine her as long as she lets me."

"I'm sure she'd appreciate that."

"But for now, I know she's got a lot on her plate and the last thing she needs is something to stress her out even more. She'd probably say no if I made a whole show of it."

"You're so attentive and I think that's probably why we're friends," Jake says, patting his friend on the shoulder. "You'll be a great boyfriend."

"This is oddly mushy."

"Yeah, it feels weird not to bicker with you." Jay tilts his head back and laughs when he sees you walking out of the bathroom.

"Are you boys up to no good?" You ask, leaning against the wall to look at the both of them.

"Depends what you mean by 'no good,'" Jake teases, raising his eyebrows at Jay before snickering to himself.

"Does he know something I don't?"

"No."

"Yes."

"Okay…" You trail off, squinting your eyes before laughing. "Whatever it is, I don't want to know unless I need to know."

"You're in good hands," Jake says, nodding at you before making an excuse to leave. He winks at Jay when you aren't looking and leaves to find your friend.

"Jake Sim is a weird motherfucker," you say against your cup. "But he's harmless, right?"

"As harmless as they come. I think he likes riling me up."

"We all do."

Jay laughs too. "You look beautiful tonight.

"I look hot, don't I?"

"I'm trying to be respectful here."

You kiss his cheek. "You are such a gentleman, Jongseong. But you don't need to be like that thing me all the time. I think we've crossed that line ages ago."

Well, shit. His cock might as well be stirring in his pants now that you've given him the mental image of all the times he's seen you naked.

"You look hot and I'm going to fuck you when you're ready to leave," he says in a low murmur, his voice steady like it's something he's something he's been thinking about all day. You press a small kiss to his jawline.

"I can't wait."

The two of you could technically make a break for his bedroom, but you're clearly having a lot of fun drinking with your friends and sharing Jay's joint with everyone who wants a hit. Jay, too, is enjoying himself for the first time in a while now that he recognizes some of the party goers. It's easy to have fun when the people he's surrounded with seem to want to talk to him too. You clue him in on inside jokes and he has the time of his life playing bartender, mixing drinks for strangers with the very limited knowledge he has after one summer bartending because he was bored. He's a hit with everyone who wants alcohol and he gets extra bonus points for having a stack of joints readily available in his pocket when the one he smokes runs out. It pays to be a man with marijuana and a lighter.

Jay's newfound role has garnered a lot of attention. From girls specifically, since tonight there seems to be double the amount of people than usual. Jay doesn't really pay much attention since he's too busy peeking at you from the corner of his eye, sending a wink your way with every drink he serves. You, however, have gravitated closer towards the bar station every single time a girl comes up to him to strike up a conversation or worse—touching his arm while trying to play it off as something casual. He'd shrug it off, of course. The only girl he wants is you.

You make haste and appear by his side in record time, handing off drinks like you're being paid to do it. Jay doesn't miss the way you squeeze your way in between himself and a stranger trying to fish for attention. It's kind of hot that you've pushed her away with the touch of your hip, barely intruding while smiling politely like you've done nothing wrong. He would've said something before you got there. It's not like the two of you haven't been draped all over each other all evening, so really, everyone here should know he's off limits.

Jay isn't oblivious to the sudden switch of your mood every time a girl comes up to him.

It's funny to think that a month earlier, girls usually pursued Jake. Jay knows he comes off as this aloof, barely-there kind of guy, like someone too intimidating to pay attention to for the fear of failing. He's the embodiment of the classic rock star: wickedly good at guitar and an attitude that screams do not fuck with me. Jake is an easygoing, open kind of guy. He'd take any chance to make a new friend. It's part of him charm, but it's not one he shares with Jay.

You're a very sweet person. Blunt? Yes, but you always say it like it is and don't coddle people to make them feel better when there's no use. Jay loves that about you. He doesn't have to guess where your head is at or question your intentions because you're upfront and honest. He can count on you to tell him the truth, which is a skill most people lack. It's refreshing to meet somebody who can put her heart on the line while maintaining integrity. People tend to say one thing but disregard it's meaning until it becomes something new entirely, but not you. You're Jay's safe space whether you realize it or not.

This new emotion—jealousy?—is something new for Jay to see in you. You both have breached the threshold of being touchy the first time you dry humped in your bedroom. You've been much bolder now, but it's only escalated to grabbing his hand and letting him hold yours. There's an unspoken line that has yet to be crossed, never mind the fact that you gave him the best head of his life not too long ago.

But tonight, you're clinging onto his arm like a koala and pressing your body against his side. It's because you're wearing a tank top, you muttered in disgust as you watched yet another girl cower away underneath your gaze. They're looking at your fucking biceps. And you're letting them.

Jay is thoroughly amused. You have an edge to you, even if this is a side you don't show anybody else. From the beginning, he got the sense that you were the type of person to keep vulnerability at arm's length. But the way you're acting tonight tells him you're jealous. You, the independent and secure girl he's crushing on, feel protective of Jay and his body. Entitled, even. But it's so fucking sexy to be desired by you. It boosts his ego, sure. He's a man who thinks with his cock sometimes and you're no exception. Mostly, Jay's turned on by how much you desire him too. It isn't the attention. It's you.

He wouldn't stoop so low to exploit that. Jay would've told these girls to fuck off if you hadn't said it on his behalf. It's kind of cute, honestly. You resemble a baby lion trying to roar for the first time. To these other girls, you bark like a guard dog. He doesn't even think you know how intimidating you look when girls lower their gaze to the floor and back away from the two of you cautiously. Serves them right, honestly. Can't they see that he clearly isn't interested?

"Freaks," you mutter under your breath. "They're all freaks for coming up to you when I'm right here."

"I probably should've worn a different shirt." You shake your head, hands running from his bare shoulders down to his bicep. You give him a squeeze and he feels the tips of your nails digging into his skin.

"You look really fucking good, Jay," you all but moan.

"Did those girls bother you, baby?" Jay asks, turning to face you. He sets his drink down on the counter and cages you in between his hands.

"They should know better than to talk to you," you say without stuttering, your lips barely touching his own. "I hate that they had the audacity to think they have a chance when I'm the one you want."

"You're the one I want," Jay whispers against your lips, stealing a soft peck. The innocent sound of lip smacking makes his cock ache and he can't help but pull you closer to try and relieve even an ounce of friction.

"These freaks can go fuck themselves." God, you found so sexy when you're jealous.

"You know what I think?"

"What do you think, Jay?"

"I think that we should ditch this party and go back to my room," he says, caressing your covered ass. "We can light a joint and smoke a little. Get away from the crowd. How does that sound?"

Your eyes dart from his lips to his eyes. "Take me to your bedroom, Jay."

He's grabbing your hand without another word and hauling you off upstairs. Jake sees the two of you pass him by and gives his friend and encouraging two thumbs up, to which Jay can't help but roll his eyes but he laughs anyway. The noise from the party subsides but a little bit, but he can hear the music and the murmur of the crowd even with the door closed.

There you are, looking like absolutely devious in your short and tight dress all up in his bedroom. You've been up here a few times and take perch on his bed like you always do when Jay walks towards his nightstand and opens his drawer to pull out marijuana and rolling paper.

"I was going to do this on our mini golfing date," Jay says, busying his hands with preparing another joint. He hears you move across the bed after having kicked off your heels, knees padding until he feels you right behind him. It calms his nerves to feel your arms wrap themselves around his shoulders, mouth pressing against his ear as you little his skin in soft little kisses.

"What were you going to do?"

"Ask you out. Properly, I mean."

"Are we not already going out?"

He stills, dropping the materials from his hands to turn around and face you. God, you look so gorgeous like this. By now, he's already learned that the black makeup around your eyes make you look like a sexy feline and the scent of your almond and cherry perfume make his senses go crazy. Jay would be absolutely crazy to think you'd stick around forever if he never communicated his feelings to you. With his hands now free, Jay pulls you close by your waist.

"I wanted to ask you to be my girlfriend on our mini golfing date," he admits. "I know you're not into big gestures because it puts you on the spot and I know you hate being put on the spot. I wanted to do is casually. Maybe after the last round or whenever we left to get food. I don't want to make you feel like being with me is just sex or getting high. Or anything other than dating, really. I like you a lot. I think I have since the night we met and I don't want you to think I'm interested in other girls because I'm not. I want you."

For as much as Jay thinks he knows you, his heart pounds in his chest like a beating drum that refuses to stop. Part of being vulnerable and putting himself on the line means being honest about his feelings and to his delight, a beautiful smile graces your lips until you're leaning forward to put your mouth on his. It's a soft, simple kiss that makes his head spin and you pull away with his lovesick glint in your eyes he's never seen before.

"I'm not the best with affection but it's different when it's with you, Jay." Your arms come to wrap themselves around his neck, pulling his face impossibly close to yours. "Being with you feels right. Like I never saw you coming, you know?"

"I know," he murmurs, softly pecking your lips. "I'll make up for this shitty confession, I promise. Be my girlfriend?"

"You're so stupid, but I think you're really cute," you whisper with a smile you can't seem to contain before kissing him again. "You were right by assuming I'd want you to ask in the most casual way."

Jay lets out a strained sound from his throat. "Yeah, but a bunch of girls tried it with you tonight and basically ruined my entire plan."

"Mm okay, I'm still mad those girls clearly couldn't see we're together. But I think being honest is more important than how you ask, you know?"

"You are a fucking dream, baby," Jay says, pushing his lips harder against you until you giggle into him. "It's real cute how you got so jealous."

"I wasn't jealous."

"Territorial, then."

"Mhm," you confirm with a single nod, smiling against him. "People need to know what's mine. That's all."

"Yours?" He asks with an amused grin. "I like the sound of that. I'll be your trophy husband."

"Husband," you say, testing the word on your tongue. "Awfully sexy of you to imagine me as your wife."

"I've been imagining taking a wedding dress off of you since our first date," he confesses without shame. "I don't mind being your trophy husband."

What starts off as an innocent kiss turns into something erotic quickly with your back resting comfortably on Jay's mattress while his body's on top of yours, reminiscent of the time he first saw your apartment. The kiss grows hungrier with every moment that passes by and the inebriated haze has slightly worn off because of the stone cold, sober truth of Jay's confession. He doesn't spare you another pass at being a gentleman because he's learned that you trust enough to allow him to take whatever wants. Jay knows you'll tell him to stop if it comes to it. And in turn, he's learned that it's okay to desire someone so much that he loses control.

Jay pulls away to catch his breath and the whine that escapes your lips makes his cock jump in his pants. He laughs at your neediness and laughs again at your immediate silence when you realize he's grabbing the marijuana to roll a joint for you.

"I wanna roll one on your body," Jay says, eyelids growing heavy the more he visualizes it.

"Fuck," you moan. "I think that's the hottest thing you've ever said to me."

"Can you take your clothes off for me, baby? I want to see that gorgeous body of yours."

The music thumping from downstairs serves as the soundtrack for tonight. You make haste and get off of the bed as Jay sits on the edge with his legs open as you face him. Jay's dick hardens during his own personal strip tease and he watches the way your soft hands run all over your body like you're the devil trying to seduce him. Your fingers catch underneath the hem of your short dress but you don't take it off like he thinks you will. No, instead you reach underneath to pull off your black thong until you pull it down your legs at an agonizingly slow pace before tossing it in his lap.

What's a guy to do? Jay grabs your panties and hears that melodic laugh of yours he loves so much. He squeezes it in his hand—is that a wet patch?—while the other palms himself through his pants the more you twirl around for him, making a show out of jutting your ass out the more you sway your hips to the muffled bass from outside. When you do finally take your dress off, Jay intently watches the way you slowly expose yourself to him. His eyes rake over the first peek at your bare pussy, your torso, your tits, and finally your face as you toss the dress somewhere behind you.

"Come here," he beckons, throwing your panties to the side when you take a step closer to him. He makes room for you in between his legs, using his hands to spread your own apart until he has a view of you from the front. Jay lifts his finger to run a single digit over your folds and relishes in the way you moan from above. "Have you been wet this entire time?"

"I've been wet since our phone call."

"My poor baby," he tuts, letting his finger slowly glide against your wet lips, occasionally grazing over your clit. Jay doesn't want to miss a single thing and looks at the way you struggle to maintain eye contact with him. It's so cute and hot at the same time. He lifts his finger to show you the wet glisten before licking it clean, groaning at the first taste. "Delicious as always."

"Fuck," comes your whine. Jay feels you trembling between him.

"Come lay on the bed for me. I want your ass facing me so I can use it as a table, yeah?"

You make haste and Jay hums in satisfaction, standing to grab his materials before making his way over to you. He feels the way your eyes watch him and looks at the way you're laying comfortably on his mattress, arms tucked underneath your head like you're in some kind of blissful state of mind. You look delectable like this. Jay has half a mind to pull his cock out and push it inside of you right now since you're wet enough, but he holds himself back because in his opinion, there's nothing better that drawing out orgasm after orgasm while high.

He doesn't immediately put the paper and marijuana on your body. He lets curiosity get the better of him and allows his fingertips to drag along your upper back, tracing an invisible line down the curve of your spine before he reaches your ass. You part your legs instinctively and Jay mutters a quiet good girl that makes you clench against absolutely nothing. It's so hot. He bends down and presses a kiss to your slit and licks your arousal right off of his lips before pulling back to grab his materials, letting them rest on your back as he gets to work.

You crane your neck to watch as he focuses on rolling the joint without spilling. Jay's done this a million times, but he's never had the pleasure of fixing one on the prettiest girl he knows. It's clean and quick. He's managed not to spill any of the marijuana as he grinds it, expertly placed the leaf inside of the rolling paper, then uses his fingers to push it into place until it's snug. Jay folds the tip of the joint before pushing the excess paper down and presents you the most gorgeous, fat joint you've ever seen in your entire life.

"You can do whatever you want to me," you blurt out.

"Whatever I want?"

"If you fuck me within the next minute, yes." Jay laughs and grabs his lighter, holding it up to the end of the joint until it lights up. He takes the first hit to ensure the joint burns properly before passing it along to you, happily watching as you eagerly inhale.

"I'll fuck you real good," he promises, taking his shirt and pants off the longer you smoke. "I want to do it my way. I want you to feel that aching burn between your legs until you can't think of anything but cumming on my cock. I want you needy and desperate for me."

He takes his clothes off and feels his dick throbbing when he watches you smoke on his bed. It's a sight right out of a wet dream and he's probably thought about this exact moment a million times over, using this exact fantasy to get himself off more times than he can count. You've maneuvered onto your back and Jay marvels at your gorgeous tits when you bring the joint back up to your lips. He puts both of his knees on the bed and knocks your legs open to put his body right where it belongs, stealing the joint from your hands before smoking it again. Your mouth welcomes his exhale when he leans above you. Like clockwork, the smoke travels from his mouth right into yours and Jay feels your chest arch right against him just as your lips touch. He's careful not to drop the weed as he watches the way your eyes become more red by the second. Jay's positive his eyes look exactly the same.

"I'm gonna eat you real good," he mumbles as he drags his mouth along the column of your neck, trailing wet kisses down your skin.

The cool drag causes goosebumps to arise, making you gasp right into the open air. Jay takes his time, stealing another smoke when he makes his way to your chest and he makes a pit stop, handing you the joint before using both of his hands to cup your tits. They spill over just the way he's always pictured and he brushes his thumbs against your perky, sensitive nipples. Jay marvels at the sight the more he toys with them. He becomes entranced from the high, zeroing in on the way your tits move and spill from his fingertips. Jay pinches your nipples and relishes in the way you gasp at his touch, which makes him laugh and lean down to lick one of them.

"Perfect tits, perfect body," Jay moans, attaching his mouth to your hardened bud. His tongue rolls right over it as he makes himself comfortable between your legs, his own body relaxing with his cock sandwiched between his torso and his mattress. The sound of his lips sucking on your nipple and his hands squeezing on your chest like they're his own personal stress toys makes you moan in deep pleasure, letting the high consume you like never before.

He moves onto the neglected bud with his eyes closed, moaning around your most sensitive area. He loves how responsive you are with your quiet moans and your chest pushing against his face. Jay's mind is in a haze the longer he has his mouth on you, dick swelling with every breath he takes like his life's purpose is to kiss every inch of your skin.

Jay doesn't stick around your tits for very long, especially not with the way you're accommodating his body by spreading your legs open for him. He kisses down the valley of your breasts and reluctantly lets go of your chest to venture down your torso, dragging his lips and leaving messy wet kisses in his wake. He grabs the joint from your hands and inhales before tapping it hard against his ash tray to kill it before gripping your thighs and blowing the smoke right against your wet hole.

The sound you make is indescribable. It's somewhere between primal and desperate, especially when the forced air makes contact with your wet lips. Jay watches the way your hole twitches in anticipation and sees the way your hands grab onto your chest for stability from the corner of his eye. Your arousal drips from you like a waterfall and he hastily licks a strip up your slit. When he reaches your clit, he lets the surface drag slowly with the kind of pressure that makes your legs shake in their place, allowing his tip to flick over the sensitive bud. Jay witnesses you throwing your head back like you're starring in your very own pornography film and the view of from below makes you look like walking sex.

Jay descends with his tongue lapping at your eager pussy. He tastes every crevice and fold you hide while gripping onto your thighs to keep your legs open for him. He feels your resistance and laughs against you like this whole affair is for his entertainment only. But really, knowing he could get you to fall apart on him like this is the cherry on top. You're the most put together person he knows. Watching you lose your mind on his tongue feels like his greatest accomplishment.

"I love watching you fall apart," Jay moans against you, pushing his tongue inside of you. He hears you cry out his name and grip his hair as you tug in response to the sudden intrusion, keeping his tongue stretched out to thrust it in and out of your wet hole. It's a tight fit and he can only image what it would feel like to slide his engorged cock inside of you.

Your arousal slips and falls from the corner of his mouth along with his spit when Jay starts to grind his dick against the bedsheets. Your hips start to roll against his tongue like you're chasing your own high too. It's so hard for you to keep still and for your legs to remain on the bed, that much Jay can tell for sure. You're writhing underneath his touch despite his best efforts to keep you in place, but his pride swells with every cry and moan. Jay pushes his mouth harder against you, sucking and slurping on your folds like he's trying to eat you alive. He doesn't care if spit dribbles down his chin nor does he particularly care about keeping this ordeal clean and tidy. Unlike rolling a joint, Jay wants sex with you to be messy. He wants the nasty, filthy, horny affair to feel raw.

The high makes his skin buzz and his body feels like it's at an all time high. It feels so good to rub his bare dick against the bed, listing to the loud moans escaping from your mouth. Never mind the fact that his room isn't technically sound proof, but the music is going a great job at drowning out the sounds from his bedroom. Not that Jay would mind, of course. He doesn't think you'd care either. In fact, you'd be happy knowing other girls could hear the way Jay's making you feel.

"Fuck Jay, your tongue feels so good. How did you learn to eat pussy like this?"

He chuckles, dragging his tongue to kitten lick your clit. "You like it when I have my mouth on you?"

"Yes—fuck!"

"Mm yeah, love it when you make that sound," Jay says after he spits directly on your clit. He lets his digits trace your folds, dipping the tip of his pointer finger tip into your hole. You tense up against him but he tuts, shaking his head. "I won't have that. Open up for me, baby. Relax and let me feel you."

"S-So sensitive," you mutter.

"Already? How are you gonna take my cock?" Jay mocks, pushing his finger inside of you until you adjust around him. He can feel your pussy squeezing around him already. "I need to make sure you get a taste of what's to come. Need to watch you fall apart on my mouth and fingers."

"Fuck!"

"Yeahhh. That's right, honey. Make those pretty noises for me." The pet name makes our eyes roll to the back of your head and your grab a fistful of his blankets the faster he pumps his finger inside of you. Jay adds another finger and fucks you faster, relishing in the way you're moaning like your life depends on it. He bends his head down to lick at your clit at the same time and the sensation is overwhelmingly euphoric for the both of you. From here, Jay watches your mouth hang open and your hands clutching his bedsheets like that'll give you stability. It's so hot the way you're falling apart on him.

Your orgasm completely washes over you the longer Jay laps at your clit. He stares at you as best as he can while trying to keep you still before him, but your rolling hips make it difficult for him to focus on helping you feel out your high. He tries, though, removing his fingers from your pussy to grip your thighs so hard that you buck against his face and rut all over him.

"You taste so good," Jay moans when your body finally subsides. He keeps licking the remnants of your orgasm, catching every last drop on his tongue before it gets the chance to escape him.

"I don't think I've ever had anyone eat me out like that," you say, catching your breath. "You're eager."

"Eager for you, yeah."

"So cheesy." Jay watches you hide your face in your arm like you're too shy to admit how much that turns you on. He laughs at your bashful nature and kisses his way up your body, temporarily stopping at your breasts to lick around your nipple and tug at them with his teeth. You reach down to grip his cock in your hands after you've spit directly into your palm, twisting your writ to jerk him off when he removes himself from your chest.

Jay looks down and watches your smaller hand around his girthy, thick cock. He can barely register his reality because of the marijuana and remembers he still has half the joint left. With the flick of his lighter, he's smoking once again and pushes his head back to blow the excess smoke towards his ceiling, moaning when you squeeze him.

His attention resumes on your hand when he feels you press the underside of his cock against your wet slit, watching the way your hips grind against his bare dick. The tip is just shy of breaching your hole every time you grind yourself against the head and Jay bucks his own hips in response. He gets a preview like this, watching exactly how far he'll disappear inside of you. It makes him crazy to see you like this, too. Pre-cum leaks from his slit the drips down your onto your pussy to make an ever wetter mess, the sound of the splash ringing in his ears the more the two of you grind against each other. He passes the joint to you and you eagerly accept, inhaling a long puff and expertly holding it in before exhaling.

You nearly drop it when Jay angles his dick to press the entirety of his cock into you. He catches you by surprise as he's able to grab it from your fingers before it falls onto the bed. The stretch is already unimaginable and he takes his sweet time pushing himself into you, allowing his gaze to fall where the two of you connect. Jay witnesses as your tight, velvety walls make room for his thickness and you're taking him like the champion he knows you to be. Jay drags his cock out and thrusts shallowly to let you get comfortable with his impressive size. His eyes roam across your body until they land on your plush lips and he bends down to steal a kiss while keeping the joint steady in his hands.

You eagerly kiss him back as if his mouth distracts you from the initial pain of his dick. Jay keeps fucking into you little by little, letting the sound of your shared arousal echo within the room. "You hear that? Baby. That's all you. You made us this wet." You tense around him and clench at his words, lips chasing his own in a messy kiss the more he pushes himself inside of you. "Your pussy's been aching for me, hasn't she? All the times we've fooled around prepared you for this, honey. Feel my cock. Feel it go in and out."

"It feels so good."

"I know it does," he says, kissing the corner of your mouth. "Feels so good when you're high, doesn't it?"

"Yes," you moan. "I'm so fucking horny, Jay."

"I know you are, baby. You're so wet."

He kills the joint for the last time before tossing it on the ashtray to focus on you. The last push of his cock feels like pure heaven as his balls hit your ass cheeks the second he bottoms out, and his tip hits the deepest part of you. Maybe it's the high or maybe it's because sex with you is no longer a mere fantasy, but Jay can feel every movement from your twitching hips to the way you're constantly clenching around his dick.

Fucking you is insanely different than fucking his hand at the thought of you. Your walls enclose around him like a vice meant to keep him addicted to you forever. Every single drag and thrust of his hips makes Jay lose his fucking mind because his dream girl is underneath him with her legs spread wide open for him to fuck. Jay collapses right on top of you the second your arms pull him by his neck. He doesn't fight, his body already soaring through his high like he has the ability to fly. The combination of Jay's attraction and the his inebriated state contributes to how his arousal that seems to be never ending.

Your hole is so slippery. How can one person be this wet? Jay thanks whatever god is listening to him the more he ruts himself against your lap like a crazed sex addict. Or, he sure feels that way since you're gripping him with your pussy and your arms, pulling him impossibly close to you like you're trying to become one with him. Jay doesn't mind feeling your sharp nails down his back. He grunts at the mental image of the red lines decorating his skin when he gets the chance to look at himself in the mirror. He'd do anything to see you get off on his cock.

Jay buries his face inside of your neck and lets his warm breath fan over your skin. The entire room smells like weed and sex, two very important things to Jay. He can't remember the last time he was so horny that he thought his dick would fall off the longer he fucks himself into a tight hole, but your wetness paired with your angelic moans continue to push Jay closer and closer to his first orgasm. He's determined to keep himself from coming too quickly, though. He kisses along your neck and doesn't care that he's probably moaning too loudly against your ear.

"Harder," you croak, voice dry from the marijuana and from the constant moaning. "Fuck me harder."

You don't have to tell him twice.

Jay positions your legs on both of his shoulders, admiring the way your tits look. They're big and round and they jiggle every time he moves your body to put you in the exact spot he wants you. The way your nipples move at every slight movements makes Jay kiss the back of his teeth and slot his cock right back into you before he pushes his cock and his chest forward, effectively bending you in half.

His cock reaches a whole new angle the more he's able to push himself down. You cry out a broken moan when his dick pierces a new depth and he silences your cry with a kiss to your lips. Spit falls everywhere the more your mouths mash together, tongues fighting like the two of you are locked in an intense battle. Jay repositions himself until his legs are spread wide, the balls of his feet planted on his mattress before lifting his hips just thrust into you with a newfound strength that makes your eyes squeeze shut.

He drinks up your moans like it's liquor. Jay's abdomen tenses as he holds this position, feeling the burn in his legs the longer he uses his strength to push and pull himself in and out of your body. The drag is delicious. It's so good that he hisses and closes his eyes to focus on the feeling of your wet cunt gripping onto him like you're afraid he'll leave if you aren't tight enough. Sweat has formed along his forehead and your bodies are slippery from the sexual workout, but it adds to the intensity of it all. Jay has never felt enamored with a girl like he is with you and the sheer magnitude of his attraction outweighs any drug he's tried in his lifetime. He'd happily quit smoking marijuana if you asked him too. But lucky for him, you can keep up.

"Tightest pussy in the world," Jay groans, slamming his cock into you and holding your body underneath him until you're pinned between the mattress and his chest. His cock is lodged deep into your pussy with no signs of letting up and the way you squeeze him from the inside out is enough to make Jay feel like he's seeing stars. "Are you always like this? Do you always make people feel so fucking crazy?"

"Just you," you say, barely able to speak from the intensity of the position.

"Just me," he repeats, grunting through his nose. "Only me, baby. Only I can make you feel like this."

"Only you."

"Only I can get you high like this," he grunts, lifting his hips to slam them back down onto you. You cry and it sounds like a fucking hymn. "I want you to cum like this. Can you do that for me, honey? Cum right on my dick."

And you do. It's like a command, almost. He knows you've been holding out and waiting for him, but you deserve to come as many times as you want without asking for his permission. He loves knowing he can get you to feel as free as you do without worrying about other people. It's so sexy that you're as considerate as you are, but as far as Jay's concerned, you could come on his cock a million times over and he wouldn't care about getting off it you were satisfied.

He feels the tension in your body as you focus on your orgasm. Jay moves in tandem with you, letting his cock impale your pussy and pushing past your hole when you clench around him. The tightness squeezes him until his tip is hitting the very spot that makes you scream out his name like it's a prayer, and you come like you've never experienced such an orgasmic high before. He feels you come. Jay savors the way your body arches as you reach your peak and it takes everything in him to stay as still as he is, his abdomen aching and his legs burning from holding this position. But it's worth it to watch the way you fall apart on him completely.

"You're so hot when you cum," Jay mumbles against your lips, letting your legs fall from his shoulders and allowing himself to break from his previous hold. He kisses over your lips to soothe you as he slowly rocks his hard cock in and out of your pussy, using your orgasm as lubricant. "It makes me wanna fuck you within an inch of your life."

"Do it," you taunt, smiling up at him with a fucked out grin that makes Jay think you're a succubus. Your lack of a refractory period is pure insanity. He can barely believe your pussy doesn't ache from his mouth, fingers, and his cock. Or maybe it does but you aren't saying anything. You're taking it like a fucking champ.

"Bend over," he instructs, pulling his cock out to stand while you turn your body over. He strokes himself in the meantime, watching as you spread your legs and arch your back like a feline waiting for its reward. Your pussy is on full display in front of him and he can't resist getting on his knees to shove his face in your lap again.

There is no rhyme or reason to it anymore. Jay has turned into a dirtier, hornier version of himself the more his high climbs up an invisible mountain. His tongue licks over your delicious folds and licks up every drop of your come like it's syrup spilling from a maple tree. Jay makes a complete mess of his face and slurps at your wetness, drinking your sweet nectar like it's the only thing he could ever imagine in his mouth.

He lets go of his cock to grip your ass cheeks and moans straight into your pussy when he ruts his cock against the side of the bed, thrusting every single time he pushes his tongue deeper into your wet hole. You moan before him and push your ass right against his face, making him bury himself deeper into your hole as though he never wants to leave. He doesn't, really. He'd be perfectly happy if he died with your pussy on his tongue.

Jay removes himself from your pussy when he feels himself get closer and closer to the edge. The soft material of his bedsheets would be enough to throw him off the deep end if he isn't careful. He gets back on his feet after licking up a stripe and pushes his tongue up your slit until he licks your wrinkled hole. Your body tenses at the strange sensation but you aren't completely turned off by it. In fact, Jay notices your legs spreading even wider as your back arches deeper like you're in some kind of trance. He takes his chance and spits directly into your tightest hole with a slow drip, listening to a moan that comes deep within your chest the second it hits you. He brings his thumb to gently rub it in, temporarily neglecting your pussy to watch the way you're writhing as he brushes his finger over your asshole. It's incredible how responsive and trusting you are. If he was a worse person, Jay would put the very tip of his cock right against your hole. But he isn't and he figures if you liked it enough to endure his curiosity, you might let him try putting his dick in there one day.

He lines himself with your pussy again, flicking the head across your folds to gather enough slick. Jay lets his tip pass over and over again until you're whining like you'll die without his dick. The desperation in your voice turns him on so much that he feels his balls twitch when you let our a particularly high-pitched noise. It's enough to make him sink back into your pussy, hands gripping your hips for stability. He feels his own legs shaking from the new angle and the sight of your back arching in front of him.

Without a single warning, Jay fucks you. It's the kind of pace that only occurs when he's so horny that he can't think about anything other than finishing himself off. You claw at his bedsheets and manage to grab one of his pillows to hold against your chest. His blunt nails dig themselves right into your meaty flesh as he brings his right hand to smack your right ass cheek. The sting is incredible and he must assume you love this kind of pain because the long, drawn out moan rings in his ears like it's Christmas. He smacks your ass again while he bucks his cock into you like a madman, spanking you over and over again until he feels a bit sorry for the pain he's causing you.

Jay's sack bounces against your puffy clit with every thrust and he's positive you've started whining because you feel another orgasm approaching. He wishes he could hold himself out longer too, but the two of you are higher than a pair of kites in the sky and your incredible moans and tight pussy push him to his limits. He clenches his ass to prolong this feeling, hissing at the intensity of your walls gliding against him every time he drags his cock out of you just to push it back inside your hole.

"One last time," Jay grunts, reaching one hand to toy with your clit and making you moan into his pillow. "Come for me one last time, yeah?"

"C-Come together," you barely manage to say.

"Yeah, baby. Let's come together. Fuck, give it to me and I'll give you my cum too."

Lost in the chase for his own orgasm, Jay's knees nearly lock when he's about to come. He braces himself at the very last second and falls until his cheek hits your upper back, feeling the way you clench around him before finishing for the third time. Jay follows soon after, spilling his seed directly into your hole without ceasing his hips from fucking it back into you. He doesn't care that the mixed cum starts to seep from where you're both connected, nor does he care that it's starting to drip down onto your thighs. He keeps thrusting until he's managed to overcome the peak and ruts into your hole.

When all is said and done, the only thing that registers is his heart beat and your breaths. Jay kisses the back of your neck with such tenderness that it pulls a satisfied moan from your throat. He can't help but laugh and twitch inside of you as his cock grows soft. You eventually push him out with a single clench, feeling the way his dick falls to your thigh as leftover semen seeps from his slit and onto your skin. The room is hot, wet, and far too overwhelming to properly come down from the insanity of tonight.

"You did so good, honey," Jay murmurs against your shoulder, peppering sweet kisses as you close your eyes. "My good girl. My sweet, sweet baby."

"I'm your baby," you whisper in a fucked out bliss.

"That's right." He nods and brings his face to yours, kissing you once before turning your body over to face him. Jay brushes your hair out of your face and cups your face, his thumb caressing your cheek. "Are you okay? You sounded a little dehydrated."

"It was the weed," you say with a quiet giggle. "So worth it, though. But I could go for some water."

In record speed, he's able to clean the both of you up and fetch some water from the kitchen without making too much conversation. He avoids Jake, who looks at him and whistles as he walks back to his bedroom. To his surprise, you're up on your feet and digging through his closet with one of his shirts draped over your body.

"Aren't you beautiful," he says, bringing the water up to your lips. You laugh at the absurdity but drink from his hand anyway.

"I can drink by myself, you know. I'm a big girl."

"Yeah, but I like the idea of taking care of you."

"Are you still high?"

"Yeah." Jay laughs. "But I'd tell you that sober too."

He beckons you to climb into bed next to him after he's opened all of his windows. After the intensity of sex, the softness of your head resting on his chest pulls a smile out of Jay. Your leg rests atop his own like a needy koala, but he doesn't mind. He loves it, in fact. He's positive you can hear how fast his heart is beating.

"Breakfast tomorrow?" You whisper already half-asleep. Jay kisses the crown of your head and pulls you closer to him.

"Sleep. I'll be here in the morning."

✧･ﾟ─────────── ✧･