LILA / BARTON

It had seemed like an odd time to feel tired, but Lila couldn’t help it. On the outside, Lila had made it a point to be mentally strong for those around her - to not shake the goofy, awkward girl that they knew her from. It was an easier facade to convince everyone in the room that she was strong than any other exterior. In a way, taking care of those around her had always managed to be the perfect derailment of her own inner turmoil. To see a laugh replace a cry for any of those she loved around her, had always felt like a cure. To be the one that could hold the others up, when they felt like crumbling, despite her own deteriorating insides. While it was easier to be the emotionally and mentally resilient one on the outside, on the inside, however, had always been a different story. If Lila had been asked before, if she feared death, it would’ve been a failed lie if she said no, but it was odd how one variable was able to erase her fear of it so quickly. It was then that she realized, her strength wasn’t only skin deep, and she was proud.

Now, if she had been asked, she could’ve truthfully said no. Not when it came to a choice between her living or her older brother. A moment of thought hadn’t passed for Lila, there was nothing for her to think of. In the moment that her brother’s life could’ve ended, she didn’t see the title of the older brother and younger sister, big or tall, hatred or love. His habits or behaviors that seemed annoying to her at times, were things she couldn’t live without. Their idiotic fights over insignificant things, she wasn’t ready to let go of and stop fighting over. The haunting, fleeting, image that flew through her mind, was a coffin with Cooper in it. She refused to see that image come to life. It was simple - they were siblings; family. She had always believed in instincts and Lila had never felt an instinct so strong possess her than what she did as a sister. She felt not only instinctual but dangerous. 

Nothing, at that moment, would’ve stopped her from protecting her older brother and just as unstoppable as she felt, the adrenaline that had rushed through her, had numbed any pain she might have felt when she stepped in front of her brother and his opponent’s dagger entered the right side of her abdomen. At first, she might’ve stood a chance, but when he had ripped it back through, tearing it out of her stomach, she knew too well what was to happen. But even then, she couldn’t feel any fear shadow over her. She wouldn’t have rewound time and done anything differently, for anything in the world. 

Her father’s voice rendered her into any other child when Lila heard his voice. At the moment, she was merely embracing her fate, but his voice had given her a cushion of comfort as she listened to him speak. The adrenaline had begun fading away. She had always thought that pain was something that hit after adrenaline faded away. It wasn’t, in fact. it was something that faded inwards, increasing in volume by the moment, radiating from her abdomen and robbing her of her breaths. She couldn’t inhale and she couldn’t exhale. To open her mouth, was to lose her breath and be unable to replace what she lost. 

The presence of her father, however, felt as though it was numbing that pain. She could say now, with certainty that her strength wasn’t only skin deep, but she was still just like any other child. She joined those like Peter Parker to protect those that could not protect themselves, but at this moment she was the one that finally felt safe, untouchable in her father’s arms as she relaxed in them and listened to his plea. 

She didn’t want to leave him and his plea for her to hold on echoed into her ears. Exhaustion swept over her, that she assumed was simply death pulling her in, letting go, then pulling her back in again, as she slowly pried her eyes open to gaze up at her father’s features, as an image to keep with her wherever she went. Somewhere among the quietness, she could hear a distant, familiar female voice speaking to her, but now that she focused on it…it was two voices. A man and a woman, their distinctly familiar voice made her heart drop painfully to her stomach. Despite her inability to see them, their voices became clearer. “Little Agent,” the nickname ached her heart and an invisible, gentle grip on her shoulder grabbed her attention.