What are men to rocks and mountains?

You’re different, Lila. You’re – you were always going to find loves. You have a huge heart for that. It’s – it’s infuriating, really, how you can always find the good in people. And be open and there and willing and ready and you want it. I’m … I’m not – like that. I’m not trying to dramatize anything. I just … 

Being with – him, being with him, it wasn’t anything I ever … 

I just think maybe you only get one chance at a soulmate in life, and I’m not saying I’ll end up a spinster. But no one’s going to compare. He – threw away something. That’s as close to perfect either of us are getting, and I’m angry at him for it, and I’ll speak for him, because he won’t do better than me in – in Austr– he’s gone. He’s really gone.

Care, you have a big heart too. You do. Otherwise you wouldn’t have such good of friends. Scottie is probably my best and only friend. But you? You’ve got loads, and they love you, and you love them. That’s where you put your love.

Don’t aim for perfect. Perfect is just--it’s such a slippery term, Care. Because I think you’re perfect. I think Scottie is perfect. I think the tree outside is perfect. Perfection is just so fleeting, and yet so lasting, and I can see all the perfections in the world, while a lumberjack just sees the perfection in the wood itself, not the tree and the shade it creates.

I don’t know. I don’t know what to do with anything. I spent both days this weekend at various shops and places, even secondhand stores, just trying to find something. Anything. It’s – I feel indifferent. I don’t know what I think anymore. It’s – it’s infuriating. I’m – I’m so –

I’m mad, Lila. I’m so mad at him. I’m so damn mad.

I don’t think I ever told you this, but after Gideon and I broke up, well, I had a collection of his shirts, and something just took over me and I burned them. I was rather drunk. But I was so angry, because I so desperately wanted it to work out. I wanted him to love as much as I loved him, and it didn’t happen. So I lashed out on the closest thing I had that reminded me of him. His shirts.

I need a change. I just don’t know what it is yet. 

Can I help?

Oh. Good. Thank you.

It’s um--different in here. Redecorating?

Lila?

I just, uh, wanted to give you some scones, and tell you that your record player is doing fine.

Oh, that’s odd.

What’s odd? Is everything alright?

Just remember, when you and Gideon broke up, you got over it eventually. You were both even cordial, yeah? Point is, it seems bleak now and it may seem that way for a long, long time but it won’t be like that forever. 

That’s fine. I’ll be here too. I know your sister isn’t fond of me, but you know, if you need biscuits to go with that tea or anything, I’ll get them.

Thank you.

I know. I know. And from what I could tell they were a pretty solid couple. But… that’s the thing with life. Doesn’t always go as planned. 

I’m going to stay up, in case she wakes up and needs anything.

She’s Caroline, your sister. Of course she’ll be okay.

She was supposed to move in with him. She wouldn’t have done that if she didn’t think she was going to marry him.

It might not be. Besides, the same way things become tainted, they can become untainted with time. Like I said, it’s step-by-step.

I hate that she’s not okay.

In my experience, there isn’t much to do. Just have to let her wallow. Let her grieve and express her emotions and feelings as she needs to. Give it a few days, see how she is, make sure the initial shock is gone and cheer her up. Just make sure you’re there for her, mostly.

I’m not good at cheering her up. I’ve never seen her like this before. Ever.

ogreatscottie:

Right. I’ll leave you this tea here. You’re welcome to help yourself to anything. Bathroom’s down the hall, there. 

What? No. 

I don’t know what to do.

ogreatscottie:

Oh, it’s fine. I’m a bartender. Used to being up at odd hours. 

Couch? She can sleep in the bed, though. I don’t mind taking the couch. 

She said already. I’m fine with the couch. Preferred. I should sleep. I need to – get rid of this headache. 

Sleep. Really. We’ll go to your flat in the morning.

ogreatscottie:

Here’s that tea you asked for. Everything alright?

I’m just de-cluttering. You’re getting a record player. I’m sorry to have woken you.

Care, we don’t care that you’ve woken us.