Lilac Den

I decided to just make the scar larger. It just looks a lot more painful and smarter people would fear Wisteria while those with shallower minds would underestimate them (which works well enough for Wisteria). Having a high(ish) Fearsome stat, it feels like the rumours about Wisteria would lean towards them being the perpetrator of the destruction of their "hometown", but then people look at the scar and that sets off a new string of theories that maybe their hometown deserved whatever was coming to it? Or maybe their hometown knew how dangerous Wisteria could be and tried (and failed) to stop them? Wisteria hates the rumours, but even they can't help but feel mildly amused by the wilder ones. I also can't remember how Princess Bellarosa does her hair, so I decided to go for one of the two hair styles that I keep imagining her in. (The other being pigtails/twin tails.) Had fun playing around with this idea in my head for a while and only recently had the time (and motivation) to draw this. Honestly, I'm currently obsessed with Wisteria wearing plain metal bracelets and/or accessories and using their abilities to turn them into knives or weapons during emergencies. The ultimate hidden weapon hack. I very much want to try my hand at drawing a piece with Wisteria converting their accessories into a weapon mid-transition. The Sole Reminiscence is by @lilac-den. Bonus Wisteria:

I've only had energy for a bust portrait of Wisteria. I can't help but think of a scenario where people avoid Wisteria at a party or a ball because they looked like they're about to murder someone, but they're really just experiencing cuteness aggression for Princess Bellarosa. It's slightly distressing to them because they've forgotten how that feels since... you know.

I'm not all that satisfied with their scar, but until I get a better idea on how to draw the mess of it, it's a serviceable placeholder. A neck injury like that should have some sort of lasting damage, right? I can imagine their voice just disappearing mid-sentence once in a while and their voice being generally breathy. It most likely makes their already quiet voice even harder to listen for.

So first off: I woke up with double vision on Sunday. Went to a clinic (which was a little shit cuz I just watch the doctor type my symptoms on a notepad and then get a letter for the hospital, which was the logo of the clinic and the stuff she typed on a notepad. Cost RM35, much to my chagrin. Mind u, there was no referral of hospital nor did she tell me what these symptoms might possibly be.) Then went to a glasses store that my sibs went to 'cause maybe this could be a 'need glasses' issue (cuz I haven't used any glasses yet). It was not. Thankfully, the store owner recommend an eye specialist, thus moved onto Monday Visited the clinic, waited 2 hrs where the clinic's closing, then saw the doctor. After some uncomfortable tests involving getting eyedrops that leave the eyes feeling a bit puffy (my first time getting eyedrops cuz I'm squeamish at having stuff interact with my eyes), doctor said "Your eyes are all okay. This is a brain thing." Which left me spiralling a little because I immediately thought of brain tumor or the like. The night later wasn't helping me either cuz ended up dealing with a minor drama that brought more stress to me than receiving the news about my diagnosis from the eye specialist. On Tues, went to the hospital that's covered by insurance - got admitted after being tested by a doctor specializing in neurology and ophthalmology and by then, I was having trouble walking straight. Went through a series of tests on Wed, including an MRI scan.

Funny thing is - a nurse informed me about how they'll inject this one substance that'll make it clearer for them to see the MRI scan (Gadolinium) and when I asked her if there's any side effects, she went "Oh, just allergic reaction but those are very rare.". After being in the machine for 40 machine, getting pulled out to be injected with the stuff, then put back in for 15 mins, they finished the MRI scanning and settle me onto a wheelchair to wait for a nurse to bring me back to my room.

Guess who won the lottery of allergic rash?

Thankfully, it was only on my left forearm and even then, it wasn't all that itchy cuz I'm used to mosquito bites (legit looked like it until I'm like 'wait, there's no mosquitoes in the hospital.') So after being injected with the stuff that helps with allergies, got brought back to my room and basically just dread of the possibility of a brain tumour.

A diff doc came to my room and basically said "So, about the tests. All of them came up okay. There's no problem with your brain."

I legit went:

I was so stumped that I legit went 'What' twice. The doc ends up telling me that it could be an auto immune disease situation and it could only be one of the two - myasthenia gravis or one that would've been progressing worse. Now my immune system isn't weak - but I was attacked with a bad cough and that may have been the opening for this gravis thing to get me. So, the 2nd doc was referred to by my first doc cuz she's specialized in this part of the tests and would them tmr/Thurs.

Sure, what are the tests?

And she ends up listing 2 tests that are just god awful to me, who has a fear with sharp objects.

One was NCS - Nerve Conduction Study.

The other was a Lumbar Puncture.

(One of my siblings end up telling me 'man, you really getting exp for tests that come up in medical dramas.')

I already know what an LP is - but NCS was something I'm unfamiliar. So, I thought LP would be the most painful one.

How foolish was I.

They put 3 stickers first, attach it with wires that have clamps and then press a taser-like thing that emits shock currents onto your skin.

You know when doctors knock your knee to see if you'd kick?

So imagine, instead of your knee, it's directly under your skin and on your nerve.

Then they have to shock your nerves to see if there'll be responses and what not.

It felt like my nerves are xylophones with the sticks having shocks at the end of them and they play it like it's a marimba.

Worst part is, they gotta do it a lot of times after they found the nerve to hit.

So an hour+ of it was spent on feeling the shocks on my wrist, neck near the collarbone and then on my right side of the face. But on the face part - they had to put a needle above my eyebrow. Idk what else to say cuz I had to keep my eyes closed the whole time they shocked my face, but I did feel my right eyelid twitching to the shocks. But the doctor in charge of the NCS noticed there was an irregularity, which helped them find out what my issue was.

Then it was LP and the 2nd doc assigned to me was in charge of it. She has experience and done it a lot of times, told me it'll be painless. She did ask me if I wanted to move the LP to tomorrow instead.

I just ask to do it on the same day cuz 1) it was Hari Raya on Friday (Happy Hari Raya to you all!) and 2) I rather not delay the inevitable.

So I had to curl and stay still. No moving. Doctor gave me painkillers and local anaesthesia through needle, which I damn well felt. Idk how but apparently, the needle touched one of my nerves as it was going in.

Cuz I ended up doing a kick with my right leg against my will. A knee jerk reaction.

Which left me even more scared as I bite down more on the blanket I was given - the doctor said that it's okay, it's normal - this kind of thing is just uncommon.

And I'm just thinking CAN I STOP WINNING THESE UNFORTUNATE LOTTERIES?

But throughout the process, it was painless and I didn't feel a thing against my lower back. But it was the most nerve-wracking thing for me.

Thus I end up lying flat on my back, on the hospital bed, for 6 hours and spent more time sleeping.

All my tests ended up okay - except for one, which was still processing and won't be known anytime soon due to the holidays. But the docs started prescribing me the meds for gravis cuz it's the most likely, since my symptoms have been stagnant instead of going worse.

And yesterday, I got discharged. Still got double vision, but I got meds and trying to get into any trouble - including going outside with my slightly better but still wobbly steps.

Why am i sharing all this?

Cuz 1) Wanted to update y'all about this whole thing.

and 2) Cuz it's a bit of a funny story to tell. 🤣

Thank you for coming to me Ted Talk. (┬┬﹏┬┬)

(photos for proof and yes, I am aware of how the skin is of diff shade - that is due to lighting LOL)

I also been digging into the Cult of the Lamb hole and wrote a little AU of TSR - whoops