stay gold, ponyboy.

First one to raise a hand or open their mouth

Silly girl, so bold - fearless with gumption beyond compare

I miss her

Mighty and willful, beautiful and small

I envy her brevity, funny girl

Funny girl

She’s still here but so far

Funny girl

But they are just tears

And those are just the street lights

I’m pissed everyday

I’m pissed when it’s cold

Im pissed when it’s hot

I’m mad at another beautiful day wasted

I’m mad at another frigid night alone

I think I’m just mad at me

I’ve fought the thought process that “the grass isn’t always greener”

And maybe thats my blind optimism

With a hyper active mind and a fixation for a hallmark sense of love, and adventure and story telling

Maybe I should be more simple

Accept duller days to be just as, days

Allow simplicity to be a reminder

Of comfort, familiarity and safety

But I can’t help but ~wonder~…

Maybe I’m not build for those things

But also

Maybe I am meant for something more

The cold air on my breath reminds me that I am me everywhere I go

Staring out wondering

“Why me?”

I inhale, I exhale

“The grass may not always be greener, but it’s new, and that’s good enough for me”

I take a chance

I’m pissed that my nose is pink and my lips are chapped

I’m pissed that the bottoms of my pants are soaked and ripped

But I didn’t waste another beautiful day

I drug my feet out of the mud to rebuild

So I rebuilt and I grew

If you asked me last year “are you happy now?”

I’d tell her, not yet - but I am so proud