Like Regular Chickens

um, you guys

I’d like to officially announce the upcoming book LiarTown: The First Four Years.

First, a new, brief Q&A with illustrious designlord Steven Heller can be found here:http://www.printmag.com/daily-heller/liartown-lying-is-its-own-reward/

Next, as you may have noticed, things have been quiet here the past few months. The book is the reason. I’ve devoted all my time and effort to getting it ready, making it the best it can be. I’m in the final stretch right now, writing the Introduction and Acknowledgements.

SOME FACTS:

8.5″ x 11″ Soft cover 248 pages Full color

I can see you still have questions.

“What’s in there?” The book contains almost all LiarTown material from early 2013 to January 2017. It includes an introduction by me, Sean Tejaratchi, a foreword by former Onion editor Scott Dikkers, a section with notes on selected pieces, and an exhaustive index. The back cover will feature brief explanatory text (written especially for the back cover and not previously read by the public), as well as a laudatory comments from cultural notables, a barcode, and cover price. Every inch of this lavishly designed book has been designed to perfection. Even the spine, normally known only as the narrow, bound left edge of a volume, will be emblazoned with the title, subtitle, author, and publisher logo. 

Speaking of the publisher, beloved Feral House Books has honored my desire to keep all the bad words and bird dicks and lunchbox tits and other improprieties. I was not asked to change a single thing.

“You said ‘almost all.’ Is everything in there or not?” I left out some of the more topical, dated or political posts, and I didn’t bother with few of the lightweight pieces or more direct movie parodies (like the Fifty Shades Darker Batman poster). I’d say 99% of the website is in the book, though.

“So how else have you fucked me on this deal?” Oh god, I knew you’d be like this. This is why I didn’t even want to mention it. Because of what you’re doing, right now.

“I’m sorry. I overreacted, as I always do. Do I get anything that’s NOT on the website?” Yes! I made full use of space. For example, when a square image on a tall page left room at the bottom, I made new things to fit. There are new stamps, VHS spines (commercial and home-recorded), book spines, buttons, business cards, a shitload of CD covers, a tube of falcon ointment, a cassette, a card from a guy named Todd, and miscellaneous other bits and pieces. I’ve made additional books and albums in a few cases, things I’d wanted to make but had never got around to. Some new business signage, TV commercial screenshots, little bits here and there. There’s a nice spread of collected product logos. Saying “IT’S PACKED WITH NEW STUFF!” would feel dishonest because the vast majority of the book is material you’ve seen, but the additions are a tender bonus that shows how much I care for you and your family. A few pieces have been given extra material, cosmetic enhancements, and general improvement when possible. You probably won’t notice, but mentioning it here bolsters the narrative I’m pushing, namely: You’re receiving EXTRA VALUE unavailable on the website!

“Will there be pages?” Oh, so many pages! Countless pages, 248 of them, one after another, in order, from start to finish. What’s more, each page will be trimmed to the same exacting specifications as its neighbor. That means a page at the front of the book is going to match the size of a page at the back of the book. Don’t believe it? Pre-order the book and then apologize to me when it arrives and teaches you a lesson in humility.

“What shape will the pages be?” Rectangular, taller than wide. What’s more, every book, and every page within it, will conform to the same series of four perfect right angles. If a corner isn’t precisely 90°, the book won’t be sent to a customer. It’s that simple. Please note some customers might receive books with angles that are not precisely 90° because glitches sometimes happen at the bindery and now and then you get a weird-shaped one. It can’t be helped.

“I am accustomed to colors. Will this book have colors?” Every page will be full, glorious color. I think there’s one page that’s almost entirely black, but that’s still technically a color, as you know.

“Will the colors be any good?” Close your eyes and imagine yourself stumbling out of a darkened forest onto a dazzling beach. You spy a rainbow, bathing nude in a lagoon of equal parts motor oil and distilled water. (If you want to imagine yourself naked, too, go ahead.) Swirling, hypnotic eddies of reflective iridescence trail in the rainbow’s seductive wake, decorating the surface with over forty million billion trillion unique colors. You walk downstream, still naked if that’s how you’ve decided to picture yourself, watching the colors flow into a single torrent, churning over discarded displays of semi-gloss paint samples until at last tumbling down mossy, shadowed chines, verdant and overgrown. The pigments plunge down, down, into a chocolate church, the hallowed walls of which hold towering windows of intricate stained glass, forged aeons ago by master craftsmen who swore blood oaths to faithfully capture the ruddy pinks, the sun-kissed tans, the rich, dusky hues of every member of the human race on earth or below the sea. The sky outside this otherworldly cathedral is lit by over thirty to forty different suns, one green, one red, one blue, and then plenty of other kinds (inc. brown). These ancient orbs, locked in a cosmic dance as old as time itself, send their rays to find you inside. Multi-hued beams burst effortlessly through the fragile glass to reach, at long last, the rods and cones at the backs of your eyes that have waited for this fleeting moment, so patiently, since your birth. 

So yeah, I’d say the colors are gonna be pretty good.

“When will the book be shipped? When will I receive it?” The stupid thing has to be printed in China, of all places, so it’ll be ready in late Fall, in time for the stupid holidays.

“Why should I order now? Why not later, when I’m well rested?” Pre-ordering early helps the publisher know ahead of time roughly how many to order in the first run. Since printing costs drop as the print run goes up, a larger print run eventually results in a lower book price.

There’s also this inescapable truth: Pre-ordering means you are assured a copy. There’s no worry about delays when a store or distributor is out of stock. Your book is mailed to you the day it’s released. You stay safe and silent in your home, frozen in place like a terrified rabbit while the postman makes noise outside your door. Once his footsteps fade and you’re sure he’s gone, the book is all yours.

Right now it’s listed at $22.10 on amazon.com. I’ve been told the price will likely drop. If you’ve pre-ordered at a previous, higher price, don’t worry, you’ll automatically get the lower price, too.

“Where can I pre-order this book?” Right here: https://www.amazon.com/Liartown-First-Four-Years-2013-2017/dp/1627310541/ref=sr_1_4?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1492812361&sr=1-4

I’ll show more of the book closer to the actual release date. In a world where there are trailers for movie trailers, I’m trying to avoid preview fatigue. If you have any questions, you can reach me via tumblr message or [email protected].

Thank you, and your family.