Space for some loving Obsessions

I don't know if any Cosmere worlds have spiders to get into people's houses, but if they did, here is how the following Cosmere characters would deal with it.

1. Adolin: Immediately goes & gets Shallan

This is not because he's scared, but because he knows that Shallan will want to see the cool giant spider.

Shallan: Wow!! It made such a cool, giant web! Adolin: I thought you'd appreciate that.

2. Tress: Alters her own routine to make sure the spider is comfortable

Moving or killing the spider does not occur to her.

Tress: Oh! We don't use that shower. Tress: That's where Albert the Spider lives.

3. Evi: Considers the spider to be a good omen

Dalinar: Wait...I think I understand, this time. Dalinar: It is a good omen because the spider is a fierce predator with domination over the insect kingdom...right? Evi: No, silly, because she makes a beautiful and intricate web, the little artist! Dalinar: ... Dalinar: ...a web of death, though? Evi: [Pats his arm indulgently]

4. Zane: Overidentifies with the spider

Zane: I too craft my web... Zane: Bring my prey close... Zane: And then CONSUME them! Spider: [Is a spider] Zane: [sighs] Zane: I wish Vin had heard that cool speech.

5. Kaladin: Accidentally squishes the spider while trying to move it outside

Kaladin: ... Syl: ... Kaladin: ... Syl: ... Syl: T-The cup is supposed to have the open side down, Kaladin. Kaladin: I-I didn't MEAN to!

6. Allrianne & Breeze: Keep trying to make the other person deal with it

Allrianne: YOU'RE the man! You have to deal with bugs! Breeze: My love, you have the courage to face down the Lord Ruler himself--I'm sure you can handle a spider. Allrianne: Real men don't make their poor wives deal with the big hairy spider! Breeze: This man is really comfortable where he is, though. [The spider lived in that corner for 3 months]

7. Elend: Moves the spider outside

Elend: My father always squashes bugs when he sees them. Elend: So therefore, I scoop them up into a cup a put them gently outside. Vin: ...The spider is getting buried in ash. Elend: ... Elend: Sometimes actions are symbolic.

8. Susebron: Is intensely fascinated

Susebron (writing): I've never seen one of these animals before. Susebron (writing): I've only read about them in books. Susebron (writing): When will it start communicating by weaving words into its web, or does it only do that for pigs? Siri: ... Siri: I have some disappointing truths to convey.

9. Raboniel: Studies the spider

Raboniel: At first, I had little respect for this creature. Raboniel: But I have been watching her build her home and catch her prey and I have realized that she is keenly intelligent and strategic. Raboniel: Now I ensure that nothing will disturb her work. Raboniel: In return, the spider now keeps my workshop insect free. Raboniel: The respect has--dare I say--grown mutual. Navani: I am deeply uncomfortable. Raboniel: But why?

10. Sebarial: Leaves the spider be

He claims it's because he's just too lazy to move the spider, but actually, he kinda likes it.

Surely every world has romance novels, even those of the Cosmere. And surely all of them have romance novels with...unfortunately written lines. Here are some bad romance lines you might find across the Cosmere.

"Her bosom heaved like twin boulders tossed upwards by a Highstorm." (Roshar)

"Her fingers slid from her glove one by one, like tiny sausages popping from their casing." (Roshar)

"As she gazed at the shirtless, blue-eyed Mistborn, she felt her lust Riot and her inhibitions Soothe. He Pulled her to him." (Scadrial)

"'I'm burning tin so I can feel all of you,' he whispered." (Scadrial)

"As a man of the Third Heightening, I could see all of the many, perfect colors that swirled in her hazel eyes. 'Awooga,' I whispered." (Nalthis)

"The beautiful Drab threw a passionate hand against her bosom. 'If I had Breath, you would have taken it away!' she cried passionately." (Nalthis)

"'No,' he growled. 'You and I are like aether and water. If we touch, neither of us would survive the encounter!'" (Lumar)

"She stared at his member, as big and taut as the Sorceress's tower." (Lumar)

"'I may be an elite member of the Dreamwatch,' he whispered hoarsely, 'but when i Watch you, I know that you are my Dream.'" (Komashi)

"She stared at his glistening chest. His abs were round and stacked, like a perfectly balanced pile of rocks." (Komashi)

"She knew that his Passion burned like the Sun, just as Quick, just as Deadly, and just as Intent on Catching her." (Canticle)

"In that moment, her heart burned so fiercely that she might as well have been a Charred." (Canticle)

"His member burst forth like a Sandling erupting from the desert sand." (Taldain)

"And in that moment, I decided: I would cover my heart in sand, keep my feelings buried, until the pure water of his confessed love caused them to rise up." (Taldain)

"The wounds of this betrayal would never heal--never!--like a stubbed toe in Elantris before its restoration." (Sel)

"'My Domin(at)ion shows my Devotion,' he purred, pulling the ropes tighter." (Sel)

"'My Twinborn powers don't matter!' he cried passionately. 'The only twins I care about are those!' And he gestured at the twin mounds on her chest." (Scadrial)

"'I wish I was a Slider so that we could make this moment stretch forever,' he whispered, holding her. 'That sounds really expensive' she murmured back." (Scardrial)

" 'The real Everstorm is the one that rages in my HEART!' he cried raggedly." (Roshar)

just some coop experience unmiquellas your radahn* oh he just an animal enjoyer

Made a Christmas present for my dad who’s the biggest fan of “He who fights with monsters!”.

OFMD as Reductress Headlines Part 3/?

Part One || Part Two (current)

Part 1 | Part 2

Please enjoy this cute sapphic comic about accidentally adopting a werewolf from the pound based on this post. (Except I made it gay.) Meet Sabine and Jazz as they fall in loooove.

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