so gimme all of you in exchange for me just give me all of you in exchange for me, for me break it down, yeah

I was in the studio with Bryson working on his debut album. He’d asked me to work with him on some of the writing and producing for it—after releasing my EP independently last year I kept getting calls to work with more people, I loved creating and writing, even though eventually I wanted to steer towards focusing on my own shit too. This for the time being was amazing though—he was about to drop some amazing shit and I was glad to even be a part of it.

“How was that?” He asked, from the booth.

“It was good—“ I nodded, “just lemme hear that hook again, a little sharper though,” I said before playing it back and he ran it once more.

We’d been working since afternoon and it was getting pretty late, I’d said I could stay until 10, and just then like clock work I got a text and Jermaine was here. He said he’d come and I couldn’t turn that down. After wrapping up our session I grabbed my leather jacket and scarf and purse before heading out. Our black matte range was parked in the parking lot and Cole had the lights on. I immediately went to the backseat opening the door and I found my baby sat in the back seat.  

“Is that my babyyyyyyy?” I said super animated and I smiled as she grinned back at me waving from her car seat.

“Mommmmma--!!” she squealed and I leaned in kissing her all over her face.

“Hey sweetie how was your day with daddy?”

“Sososososo funs—we did lotsa stuff,” she nodded happily. It’d been three years since we’d had Alexia, she’s literally the light of my heart. Spitting image of her father as well. Not gonna lie, having her made us both grow the fuck up.

After leaving my bag with her in the backseat with her, I went round to the passenger side where Jermaine was on his phone looking focused. “Hi bubba,” “Hey baby,” he looked up and gave me a quick peck on the lips. “how was the session?” “Good,” I nodded, “I’m coming back in tomorrow though,”

“Cool,” he mumbled still looking down at his phone. “You ate already?” “Naw but I don’t feel  like takeout—pretty sure we have leftovers in the fridge—did you feed my child?”

“Yes I fed my child the fuck you think?” he chuckled shaking his head. This damn mouth of his.

“Jermaine mind your language omggggggg,” I scolded him, I hated when he talked like that in front of Lex, she literally picked up everything that we did and said.

“my bad my bad… she aint even payin attention though, she’s watching frozen back there,” he said shrugging. “you look beautiful today by the way baby,” he told me and I started smiling despite myself.

We started the drive home which would take about 20 or so minutes and I was on my phone for most of it before Jermaine interrupted my casual scrolling on Instagram. “wassup?” I asked him.

“I gotta tell you something,” he said softly, eyes focused on the road and I just looked at him. “I gotta go on tour for Forest Hills Drive baby—“

Jermaine

It was the second day of the weekend with our families visiting and I’d asked Tess’ mom if I could take her to lunch and we could just talk. Since dinner the night we told them, Tess had been walking on eggshells avoiding her mother so I was tryna do whatever I could to fix the problem. My mom was gon go sightseeing with Zach and Allison and Tess was going shopping with her sister or something and we was all gon meet up for dinner at Junior’s. I’d taken mama Joyce to Gotham Bar and Grill though for lunch, I thought she’d enjoy it. The whole way here was filled with small talk and stuff but we hadn’t really discussed Tess or the baby just yet. I also knew that I had to talk to her mom and get her to feel me out, I knew I’d lost her trust and it had to be the main reason why she wasn’t excited about this whole baby thing or whatever.

“Aight so I’ll just come out and say it,” I cleared my throat and she looked at me. “the main reason I asked you to come to lunch is so we could talk about a few things, and I know that in your eyes it may seem as though I haven’t always had Tess’ best interest at heart and I know that I hurt her in the past—which lead to losing your trust,”

She looked at me nodding. “that’s true, you did hurt her really bad…”  

“I—I’m in love with your daughter Miss Joyce—I’d do anything in my power to make sure that she’s happy and I can assure you that I’m going to take care of her and our unborn child.” I told her and she sipped her iced tea before nodding once more.  

“I don’t want Tess to be stuck—at this point she’s given up her career for you… If you leave her she’s raising this baby on her own—You see what’s happened with her friend Aleisha? I don’t want that to be my baby…” she said I could feel where she was coming from. I got it 100%. She was just a concerned mother, and the way she reacted to the news was just out of concern, although Tess didn’t quite get that she was obviously hurt by what her mom said.

“I understand that, and I can swear to you that will never be the case.” I assured her.

“I’ll have to see by your actions then, Jermaine—“

“Of course,” I nodded.

“Do you see yourself marrying her anytime soon?” She then asked, I knew this was a huge deal to her. That was the main thing Tess had been worried about.

“Tess and I have talked about it,” I began, “but we’re not a point where we’re ready to get married.” She raised an eyebrow at me. I’m pretty sure she didn’t know where I was going with this. She looked like she coulda smacked me in that moment if I’m bein honest. “Wait hear me out—I watched my mom go through two marriages where she was treated badly— I feel like if I ever marry a woman, divorce should never be an option… Tess and I kinda feel like why should we fix something that aint broken, you know? I definitely know I want to marry her, and when the time is right I will come to you and ask for your blessing and do it the proper way. I don’t want to rush such an important thing just because we’re having a child.”

“Well when you put it like that…” she said and I felt we’d come to an understanding, “I’m glad we had this talk—I really am,” she smiled softly. “You take care of my baby or else you’ll have me to deal with you hear me?” she joked and I nodded.

“Yes ma’am,”

After the talk we ate and chilled a little bit before heading back home. When we got there my moms had already come back with Zach and Allison so all of us were just kicking it in the family room before heading out to dinner.

---

Tess

I went to eat with my little sister before we went to the mall to shop. I was almost 2 months pregnant so barely showing—but I was already starting to wear baggy shit just to be safe. We were trying to keep it under wraps until there was no possible way to hide it anymore. We’d been shopping for a couple hours and Ari decided to get a fake nose piercing just to see how my mom would respond—she was tryna get her ass whooped out here… this girl plays too much.

“Yoooo so this means J. Cole’s kid is gonna be my niece or nephew I’m telling everyone at school—“ She said as we were looking through some racks at shirts.

“You better shut the fuck up with that shit—are you dumb??” I smacked her arm.

“Chilllll fam, I’m playing no need to get violent,” she laughed out loud. “I only sent a few snapchats with him that’s it.” “Kids are dumb… I don’t need them screen shotting that kinda shit—“ I told her shaking my head, “don’t gloat about that—“

“I’m not gloating though,” she mumbled, “like it’s just cool that my sisters boyfriends J. Cole that’s all—“ I sucked my teeth at her, “it’s even cooler that I’m your sister don’t even get it twisted, Jermaine’s not all that.”

“wOOOOoULd you believe ME IF I SaId I’m in lOooOOVE—“ she started singing and I began walking away from her she’s so embarrassing. She followed me through the store laughing out loud.

“If you don’t shut the hell up—I’m putting down all the shit I picked you up I swear,” “Okay okay okay I’ll act right… jeez,” she said still laughing.

 I paid for the clothes and we headed out to get some frozen yogurt. I missed being able to kick it with my mini me. She was gearing up to go to college next year and I was hoping she’d come to New York for college and hopefully my mom would follow too. But that was probably a long shot if I’m being honest.

“So you ready for this kid or nah?” she asked me as we ate our froyo.

“Why are you interviewing me right now?” I laughed, licking my plastic spoon. “I dunno though, I’ll see—mom wasn’t too happy bout it so that kinda made me feel shitty.”

“You know how she is though, she’ll come around… she always does,” she said knowingly. She was right, but it didn’t exactly help me feel much better.

Afterwards we hit up a few more stores before heading back to the car so we could meet everyone else for dinner. Surprisingly, Jermaine had made sure they were all on time and they were at Junior’s before us. They were seated in the booth in the back closed off and we came in and joined them. I hugged everyone at the table in turn before proceeding to sit in the free spot next to Jermaine. He looked really happy—I ain’t seen him smile like this in a minute.

“Hey bubba,” I said softly and pecked him.

“Wassup girl? What did you buy me?” he said smirking.

“Nothing. She’s rude,” Ari said sitting opposite us. Our moms, Zach and Allison were further down the table in their own conversation.

“I thought as much,” Jermaine sucked his teeth before getting a good look at me and up downing me. “Whatchu wearing heels for Tess?”

“Don’t hate on my booties they’re cute—“ I frowned.

“You shouldn’t be wearing heels in your state Tessie,” Mama Kay chimed in.

“Yeah your feet are gonna swell up, you gotta take care of yourself and your comfort for my grandkid please—“ my mom said… I was gonna have to talk to Jermaine later about the talk he had with her. “Oh my go—“ I muttered under my breathe, “I’m baaaaarely 6 weeks though,” “Still baby,” Jermaine wrapped his arm around my shoulder, “that’s a habit you gotta break… just hold out on the heels until my son’s here.” He smirked. “It’s not a boy… she’s gonna be my mini me,” I stuck my tongue out at him. “I say it’s a girl too to be honest,” Zach said.

“Same here,” my sister added.

“Let’s put money on it bruh,” Jermaine said to Zach grinning at him.

“Yeah I’m down let’s do it,” he laughed.

“No no no one’s putting money down on my grandson,” Mama Kay said laughing.

Tess

After dinner last night, Jermaine made me go back down just to be polite but I didn’t feel like talking to my mother so I just went in the movie room with my sister and we kicked it while the others were in the living room. They were only staying for three more days so I’d have to talk to her sooner or later. I wasn’t really thinking about that now. I looked over at Jermaine laying in the bed shirtless, deep in his sleep—he was the cutest sight this early in the morning.

“The fuck you doin starin at me,” he mumbled with his eyes closed so I moved over and let my head rest in his chest.

“I love you,” I told him and he wrapped his arms around me.

“I love you too but you gotta let me sleep babygirl,” he said rubbing my back. I laughed and closed my eyes not saying anything else. I couldn’t help but think back to two weeks ago when we found out about the baby. That honestly was the day our lives lowkey changed forever.

 ***

Two weeks prior

I was laying on the couch, watching TV. I’d been sick again. At first I just assumed it was food poisoning or something but that can’t last this long. Zoe had laughed and said ‘you’re probably pregnant’ which I thought was pretty far-fetched. Besides, Jermaine never wrapped up but I was on the pill so we should’ve been protected. I looked up from the couch and saw Jermaine walk in with a plastic bag from the pharmacy. He took out 3 tests and put them all on the table in front of me.

“Why you nervous?” I asked him laughing a little.

“I ain’t,” he shrugged, “whatever happens, happens baby.”

I sat up then frowned at him a little, “Wait—did anyone see you buying these? I don’t need to see ‘J.Cole buys pregnancy tests’ as a headline on TMZ or MediaTakeOut—“

“You think I’m stupid baby?” he rhetorically asked. “I sat in the car with Mike and Ib, and Camille went in to buy them.”

“…You told Mike and Ib?” I slowly asked him. I didn’t care about Camille knowing—she knew everything basically she ran all his shit.

“They my boys of course I told them,” he said shrugging.

“But we’re not even sure yet if I am… I haven’t told anyone yet—“ I wanted to be positive before I physically said anything or put anything out there. I didn’t want to tell my friends and give them false hope.

“Don’t worry they not gon run they mouth,” he said opening the first box and reading the instructions. “Let’s go piss on this stick then,”

I blinked. “I don’t need to pee though,”

“When you gon need to pee then?” He raised an eyebrow at me.

“When I need to pee.” I shrugged.

He sighed and got up and went to the kitchen before bringing me a huge glass of ice tea. I drank it all in one go and had to use the bathroom a half hour or so later. I went upstairs into our bathroom with the tests and Jermaine followed behind me and leaned on the counter.

“Get out,” I laughed as he watched me.

“What? I’m givin you mental support—“

“You can give me mental support from behind the door until I’m done doing my business—“

“I’on know why you actin’ like I ain’t seen you piss before,” he shook his head, but going to stand outside the door anyway. I didn’t need the pressure of him watching me pee on the stick—besides when he sees me pee it’s only because his rude ass barges into the bathroom like it’s nothing.

So I peed on the stick, washed my hands and opened the door and Jermaine was leaning on the door frame on his phone. Now we just had to wait. I sat on the counter by the sink as he stood between my legs, neither of us saying anything. My heart was pounding and I was getting nervous—I could tell Jermaine was too, but he just didn’t say anything.

After time was up I looked at Jermaine as he picked up the stick. He showed it to me and I saw two pink stripes—I wasn’t sure how to react. “I think you pregnant baby,” he said with a slow smile.

“Wait—check the other tests too,” I furrowed my eyebrows looking at the one he’d just handed me. They all said the same thing.

I was really pregnant.

I sat there for a minute and didn’t say anything.

“Baby can you say something—how you feelin?”

“I don’t know,” I slowly said, “there’s human life growing inside of me I don’t know how to feel…” Next thing, he hugged my torso tight and kissed my neck.

“You gon be a momma,” He smiled looking up at me then bringing his lips to mine. “We’re gonna be somebody’s parents.”

“Why you sound so excited?” I asked him. I was still in a state of shock to properly process everything.

“Cause we gon’ have our own lil family baby,” he gave me a light squeeze.

“But—how’s that gon work when you have to tour? Or when I have to get in the studio—I’m going to have to put everything on hold because—“

He shut me up by kissing me.

“Don’t worry bout all that right now, I gotchu okay? We’ll deal with all that other shit when the time comes aight? For now, we just gotta keep you and my lil boy happy and healthy—“ he said grinning.

“How you so sure it’s gonna be a boy?” I asked him rolling my eyes, smiling a little though despite myself.

“That’s my seed in there… it’s just a feeling,” he smiled.

“Mkay well we’ll see about that,” I rolled my eyes.

“Baby are you happy?” he then asked me, trying to read my expression.

“I’m just confused right now—but I’ll figure it out,” I told him.

“This is a miracle though—“ he said and I laughed, “no forreal Tess… think about it… how you get pregnant when you’re on the pill? This was meant to happen.”

I bit my lip, now realizing this was somehow my fault.

“Why you lookin like that?”

“Cause some days I miss it—which is probably why we in this predicament right now…” I softly said playing with my hands and he grabbed my face and kissed me.

“Either way this is happy news baby—I can’t want to tell Ib and Mike—“ He grinned, I swear his boys might as well have been his girlfriend the way he runs and tells them everything.

“Chillll,” I said, “we gotta make sure everythings okay first.”

“Aight, I’ll make you a doctors appointment for tomorrow okay?” his hands rested on my thighs and he looked up at me before pecking me.

***

2 months later Jermaine

I left the second guest room and joined Tess back in the kitchen, I’d been making beds and cleaning up all day—well not really, I’d asked the cleaning lady to come in, but I was helping around the ouse though—shit it was the least I could do, baby girl had been up in the kitchen cooking an elaborate ass three course meal since about midday. I grabbed a bottle of water and sat at the bar stool and watched her make some kinda pasta salad. “You need me to do anything else baby?” I asked her.

“Ummm,” she looked up at me. “Can you start with setting the table–? Shit, what time are they arriving?”

So we decided to fly out my moms and my brother Zach, his girlfriend Allison, Tess’ mom and her lil sister Ari and they were all arriving tonight. Tess had wanted us to go and pick them up at the airport but given the circumstances and the commotion that might arise, I just thought it’d be better to send them two cars and when they come home we all have dinner courtesy of Tess and her cooking.

I pulled out my phone, “My moms and them land at 6:15, and your mom and sister land at 6:45.” I told her and she nodded, draining out her bowl.

“Are they coming in one car or?”

“Nah two separate ones, I figured they’d be tired,” I said while stretching before I went over and kissed her cheek. “You good?” I mumbled. “You ain’t been saying much,” I hugged her giving her side a light squeeze.

“I’m nervous as shit,” she said softly, looking at the cutting board in front of her and I held the side of her face.

“You got nothing to be nervous about baby,” I pecked her lips. “We good.”

“Can you do the talking then?” she looked up at me and I nodded. I ain’t seen her this nervous in a minute, she had nothing to be nervous about though—this was supposed to be a happy occasion.

—

Tess

By 7:30, both our families were sat around at the table and we were ready to eat. I’d damn near prepared a thanksgiving meal, with starters, varieties and everything. This was also the first time my mom was meeting Jermaine’s mom so I kinda wanted to make it special. I sat at the table next to Jermaine, who sat at the head of the table beside his brother and his girlfriend, who was beside mama Kay and then she sat next to my mom who sat next to my sister which filled up the table and came right back to me. I was excited to see my little sister, I hadn’t seen her in a minute… she was growin up on me too—she just turned 17 and was in her senior year in high school. She was excited to come down and see me and Cole just so she could send her friends snapchats.

“Mama Joyce, red or white wine?” Jermaine asked from the table where he’d set out the drinks earlier.

“Ummm,” my mom pretended to think, “I’ll have a red please—“

“Yea me too,” my sister said and I smacked her arm.

Zach laughed, shaking his head. “How old are you, Ari?” he asked my little sister.

“17,” she mumbled.

“Awww, sweetie—you still got a couple years.” Mama Kay laughed before Jermaine came back with drinks for everyone.

“Aye girl I gotchu, I make a mean kool aid—or you want a soda?” Jermaine nudged her and she asked for kool aid. He then came back with her drink and handed me a wine glass with red wine in it as well. Everyone started eating and I looked at him funny and he just smirked. I brought the glass up to my mouth and it was cranberry juice. I laughed a bit before shaking my head.

Everyone was talking and having a good time—it was gonna be a fun weekend hopefully, if everything went well.

“Tess this is really great,” Mama Kay said, complementing the food.

“Thank you mama—“ I smiled up at her.

“She been cooking for yall since this morning you know,” Jermaine told them and they all started praising the food. If I was white I may have blushed a lil—only a lil though.

As time went on, everyone had somewhat finished eating and I looked over Jermaine… I wasn’t gonna be the one doing the talking here.

“Um, so—“ he cleared his throat, “there’s another reason we asked y’all to come out this weekend…” he said slowly said and I looked down at my plate biting my lip. “and we wanted to tell y’all first… that um, we’re expecting a child—“ he said and you could’ve heard a pin drop.  

“Wait… forreal??” Zach asked as his mouth turned into a huge grin and we both nodded.

“Awwwww congratulations,” Allison added.

“I’m gonna be a grandma—aw congratulations y’all—this is so great—“ Mama Kay looked like she was gonna start crying right there and then. I then made eye contact with my mom and she hadn’t said anything yet.

“…So do you two plan on getting married then or?” she asked as she cleared her throat and Jermaine and I kind of just looked at each other.

“Um well—in the future yes, but right now we’re gonna focus on the well-being of the baby I guess.” He shrugged.

“How many weeks along are you sweetie?” Mama Kay asked.

“8,” I told her. My mom’s underwhelming response had kind of dampened my mood a little bit—I could have seen it coming though… no one in my family has a baby not being married—so I knew she was gonna be a little disappointed.

“But Tess you just quit your job—“ she frowned. “What does this mean for your career now–?”

I really didn’t want to respond because I honestly could feel myself holding back tears. She made me feel like I was a piece of shit and this was supposed to be a happy announcement.

“She’s been working with some writers already and she can still work during the pregnancy and after she has the child—she’ll just have to take it slow… We’re both in a financially secure place though—“ Jermaine tried to say with the utmost respect.

“So you’re gonna take care of everything then…?” Mama Kay now also asked. I knew these questions would come, but just not so soon—I didn’t wanna be in the room I wanted to bawl my eyes out and cry.

Why couldn’t we just have support?

I excused myself from the table and went up to my room for a bit.

—

Jermaine

We watched as Tess left the table and we sat in a bit of an awkward silence. I didn’t think this would be this tough—her mom didn’t even seem happy for us—But I had to stay polite. I looked at my mom a little crazy when she hopped on the band wagon and started interrogating as well. I ain’t need all that right now—especially since Tess was already emotional and up and down. I stayed quiet for a bit and just drank my drink while our moms talked, they were discussing the logistics and how unideal it was that we were pregnant right now because our careers and all that shit. My brother gave me a sympathetic nod and I nodded back. Ari was in her seat just on her phone—she hadn’t said anything at all since we announced it. I eventually excused myself as well.

“Um—I’ll be right back,” I said as I got up and went and found Tess in our room on our bed. She was crying.

“Baby girl,” I said, closing the door behind me and I joined her on the bed. She didn’t say anything so I just held her and she hid her face in my chest.

“I told you my family would disown me,” she finally said.

I sighed. I hated seeing my baby like this.

“They ain’t gon disown you baby—your mom just worried about you, it’s cause she cares baby,” I said while I rubbed her back.

“I know, but shit, she could at least be a little bit supportive what the fuck?” she cried. “She just looked unamused. I’m having a baby, I’m unmarried—my boyfriend’s almost 30, I’m 25 and I just quit my job– My mom just looked at me like I’m a fucking failure Jermaine—“

I just held her tighter and let her vent.

“I get it I get it—she doesn’t want me to raise this kid alone cause we’re not tied down—she doesn’t want me to go through what she went through—“ she said. I felt bad. I knew her mom was always nice to me, but since I cheated a couple years back I lost her trust a little bit. “What if I’m a bad mom?” she then asked me.

“I don’t want to hear you talk like that okay?” I kissed her forehead. “You’re gonna be amazing at whatever you do, you hear me?” I said gently but a little firmly. She just nodded in response. “And listen… I’m gonna be here for you and my seed for the rest of my life okay? I’ve never loved anyone as much I love Tess… You’re it for me.” I told her and we stayed there for a minute while I continued to hold her.

Tess

We’d been back from Barbados for just about a week and everyone was getting back into the rhythm of going to work and regular life. I’m not gonna lie, it was such a memorable and amazing trip—I’m so happy Jermaine set it all up for us. We really needed that shit. I was watching Riley for the day and he was gonna stay the night cause Leish had to fly to LA for a work trip so I offered to watch my godson, only thing being I hadn’t talked to Jermaine about it yet… he wouldn’t mind though, he loved playing with Riley.

I strapped him up in his car seat and stopped at chipotle where we had lunch and I picked up something for Jermaine before we drove down to the Dreamville offices so I could drop it off. I entered through the huge glass doors with Riley holding one hand and Jermaine’s food in the other and politely smiled at the security guard who recognized me and let me in. I then made my way up to the 10th floor where Jermaine’s office was.

“Auntie Tesssie, where’s we goin?” Riley asked, looking up at me—he was the cutest kid I’d ever seen.

“We’re gonna see uncle Cole real quick buddy,” I told him as I gave his hand a light squeeze.

“Otay,” he nodded, he was probably tired. “Me up auntie…” he said softly putting his little arms up so he could be carried.

I carried him as we entered the elevator and made our way up, as we exited we bumped into Mike and Ib who were walking down the hall towards us in the middle of a serious discussion.

“Wassup,” Mike gave a soft smile as he saw us walk towards him and hugged me. “aye lil man, whats goin on?” he ruffled up Riley’s hair.

“Say hi baby,” I laughed as Riley hid in the crook of my neck, suddenly getting shy. “Is Cole in?” I then asked the guys.

“Yeah he’s doin some interviews though,” Ib said between looking down at his phone.

“Aight thanks,” I nodded proceeding to his office, “see y’all around.”

“You ain’t bring us lunch too?” Ib chuckled.

“Call your girl and ask her,” I shook my head as I walked off. We then made it to Jermaine’s office, and Camille wasn’t in her seat at the desk just outside his office so I let myself in and he was sitting there with Camille and some next young thot on the other side of his desk. He was asking her questions and didn’t pay me no mind and kept asking her questions so I went over with Riley to the leather couch on the other end of the room. I handed him my phone to play a game on and sat with him.

After a while they wrapped up their interview and he stood up and shook her hand while Camille walked her out.  

“Hey baby,” he then turned his attention to me and walked over towards the couch, leaning in to peck me. “didn’t know you was coming through—“

I just looked at him, not returning the kiss. “What are you interviewing for?” I asked him with a slight frown.

“Oh I need a personal assistant,” he shrugged, “Camille handles a lot of my shit but it’s getting too much for one person cause she’s helping with running the label too.”

“Why they gotta look like that though?” I was still frowning. Jermaine thought I was stupid—he always had these lil hoes running around being his stylist or some shit and putting them on the roster.

“Fix your face baby it ain’t nothing,” He sighed.

“I want you to hire a guy.” I simply told him and he rolled his eyes at me.

“So you came down here to check up on me then?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Naw we came to bring you lunch actually,” he looked over to see Riley on the couch playing on my phone.

“Ayeeee lil nigga wasssup,” he grinned and went over and picked him up.

“Hi Coley cole,” he giggled, poking at his beard.

“That’s uncle Cole to you man,” he laughed, playing with his hair. I watched the two of them play with one another for a minute as I sat back down.

“Wassup, where’s his mom at?” Jermaine asked as he sat on the couch next to me and he handed Riley back my phone.

“LA, so I’m watching him.” I told him before handing him his bag. “I ordered your usual, I thought you wouldn’t have eaten yet…”

“You da one babygirl,” he smiled, “thank you.”

“Please don’t hire a thot to be your PA… I’m sincerely asking you this Jermaine,” I looked over at him.

“We’ll talk about this later Tess,” he said as he ate his burrito. This nigga gets on my last damn nerve.

“Whatever then,” I mumbled. “But I need a favour as well please,”

“Wassup?”

“Can you please watch him for a couple hours? I have to go to the studio—“ I asked him, hoping he’d say yes.

“I have work to do though Tess,” he frowned, “why can’t you take him with you? Since you the one who offered—“

“I know I know I know baby… But she didn’t have anyone else—and I’d take him but it’s not my session..”

“Who’s session is it?” he asked, looking up at me.

“Luke James, we’re writing together… it’d be a lil unprofessional if I brought him—“

“You workin with Luke James? Since when?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Since today I guess…” I shrugged.

“How you feelin?” he asked.

“I’m good… a little nervous but I’m good.”

“Baby you’re an amazing writer you gon kill it—don’t go in there with any nerves okay?” he gave me direct eye contact and gently said.

“Mkay,” I nodded. “So you’ll watch him for a bit?”

“Aight then,” he sighed. “How long you gonna be gone for? And is he staying the night?”

“Just a couple hours… and yeah, Leish comes back tomorrow afternoon.”

“Cool,” he nodded, “we gon have us some man-to-man time, right lil nigga?” he looked over at Riley.

“Stop calling him that.” I smacked his arm lightly. “he’s a baby.”

“I’m just messing babyyy—“ he chuckled.

Soon after, I left Jermaine with Riley, and he let him watch some cartoons on the iPad and do some coloring handouts that he asked Camille to print for him so they could both sit at the desk, and he get some work done. I was off to the studio to meet with Luke James. He was up and coming, but from his stuff that I’d heard he was insanely talented—I was excited to work with him.

---

Jermaine

From: babyguh 6:47pm

I’m on my way home now, lil man needs to eat should I pick something up?

I pulled my phone out my sweatpants pocket and opened the text from Tess before swiftly typing a response.

Me: nah baby I got it see you in a minute ;)

I actually had a fun afternoon with Riley, lil dude was too much fun—which was weird cause I normally didn’t fuck with kids. After the office we even stopped by the mall and I got him some Jordans and a snapback, Mike said I should get him a Jesus piece too, like the mini version of the ones we have but that woulda been too much.

“Aye don’t tell auntie Tessie bout all the candy we ate today aight?” I chuckled looking over at him sitting at the kitchen table, I also got him some Lego pieces to play with so he wouldn’t be so bored.

“Otay unca coco—“ he grinned, nodding really fast. He was having a hard time pronouncing Cole, so for now I was cool with being uncle Coco. I had just put some potatoes in the oven and was about to get started on the steaks. I wasn’t the best at cooking, but watching Tess cook every night I had to help here and there and gained some skills in the kitchen.

I wondered how her session with Luke James went as well… I hadn’t talked to her much about it, considering she only told me today—I hated the way we didn’t really talk when it came to work stuff. I would’ve expected her to tell me earlier but at the same time I don’t tell her who I’m collaborating with or what I’m doing every time I go down to the studio—but I couldn’t help but feel some type of way—I’m not jealous—that’s my girl and she always will be I just—fuck—I don’t know man.

As I was cooking I heard her come in and Riley jumped up from his seat.  “Auntie Tesssieeee—“ he ran as fast as he could into her arms and she picked him up.

“You getting heavy bruh,” she laughed, kissing his cheek. “did you have fun with uncle Cole?” she asked him and he nodded fast.

“Ya soooo much funs… and I’s pwlayin lego now,”

“Aight I’ma let you get back to your lego then.” She laughed putting him down before coming towards me and wrapping her arms around my waist from behind.

“Wasgood ma?” I asked, still focused on the meat in front of me.

“Since when do you cook?” she asked, kissing my shoulder.

“Aye I can do a quick one two in the kitchen don’t get it twisted girl,” I said in a high pitched voice, mocking the way her and her friends talk.

“You’re an idiot,” she laughed before tapping my ass and making her way to the fridge.

“What I tell you about doing that?” I sucked my teeth—I hated when she did that shit.

“You do it to me all the time,” she shrugged, grabbing a vitamin water from the fridge and sitting at the bar stool.

“Yeah I ain’t into that gay shit tho so cut it out,” I mumbled and she looked at me confused.

“Uh how is that gay--? I’m your woman—“

“Just don’t touch my ass jeez,” I said and she laughed.

“I’ll touch your ass if I want to—it’s mine,” she stuck her tongue out at me.

“You’re annoying,” I shook my head, “how was your session though?”

“Ugh baby it was sooo good—I had the best time, we were writing for his debut album and he even got me on some backing vocals for some of the hooks I had so much fun—it was great,” she grinned.

“Luke James…” I thought out loud… “is he single?”

“Why? You jealous?” she laughed.

“Naw, I’m straight.” I shrugged.

“He’s seeing Jessie J I think—“ she said which kind of made me feel a little bit relieved.

“You told him you had a man?” I asked her.

“Oh my god Jermaine,” she shook her head. “I’m going upstairs to change—“

“Does that mean no?” I raised an eyebrow at her.

“How many people that you just met do you tell about me?” she asked and I scratched the back of my head… but that was only because I kept our relationship under wraps— “That’s what I thought.” She said walking past me.

“Aye dinner’s ready,” I told her.

“Thanks baby… but I’ll eat a little later, I threw up earlier today.”

“Aw shit—you okay?” I frowned slightly.

“Yeah, must be something I ate I dunno.. my stomach feels weird—I’ll eat later though, it’s not everyday you cook,” she laughed.

“That’s true… and I threw it down too baby you’re gonna love it.” I smacked her ass as she headed upstairs then returned to fix a plate for myself and Riley.

“Fucking hypocrite!” she yelled as she walked off.

Jermaine

We all decided to go out to the beach today since we hadn’t been since we got to Barbados—well everyone except Zoe and Omen, they really started talking in the pool the other night and decided they was tryna go sight seein. If I could, I would, but that shit weren’t fun no more… everywhere we went I started getting recognized which was one thing I hated about being J. Cole or whatever, but aye, this the cost of my dream so I guess I had to deal with it. I just didn’t want to ruin the fun for everyone else on the trip though. So far we was having a good time though, I hadn’t been noticed too much mainly cause we were travelling in a pack—I had Sam come with us too, and Tess said I was being extra having my security come on vacation, but she didn’t get how necessary it was.

I was layin out on the long chair on the beach watching Tess play beach volleyball with Elodie, Mike and Ced. “Fuck y’all, you’re cheating!” I heard baby girl yelling at Ced after he passed the ball over. I don’t know how I got so lucky—just—looking at her and watching her in her lil bikini with her off the shoulder shirt on top. Goddamn, my woman was sexy as fuck—even more, she was intelligent and talented—and perfect to me—moments like this, moments where I could just watch her I found myself so grateful that she was all mine, considering our past I could have easily lost her.

“What’s good?” Ib sat on the chair next to mine, pulling me from my daydream about my girl.

“Nuthin, just chillen,” I shrugged. “Where’s Nikki?” I asked him.

“Back there somewhere not talking to me,” he mumbled and I had to laugh in response.

“HA—why she not talking to you man?” I dapped him up.

“Cause I was on a call about the tour this morning and she’s pissed off cause we both said we wouldn’t bring work on this trip.” He scratched the back of his neck. “I couldn’t ignore the call though…”

“Fuckin typical though…” I shook my head at him, “she’ll get over it man, she always does.”

“Yeah she does,” he said as he nodded, “same way Tess is gonna get over the tour news.”

“I ain’t talk to her bout that yet,” I stretched back out in the chair and looked at the ocean ahead of me. “I’ma tell her when we’re home I don’t need her getting upset and shit while we out here… I’m not tryna think about no tour or album sales right now man—“

He chuckled, “aight I’ll tell you later then,”

“Yo this a vacation for you too Ib, you been workin hard just chill for a week and we’ll get back to it when we get home.” I can’t lie, Ib was the best manager and label president I could ask for, he was all about his business and went into whatever he did a full 100% each time. We had to remind him as his boys to slow down sometimes and enjoy life a little bit.

I noticed as the lil volleyball game they were playing ended and Tess came over and joined me in my chair, sitting in between my legs. “Hi bubba,”

“Wassup ma,” I smirked at her, “I ain’t know you was such an athlete—“ I laughed, making fun of her on the low.

“Fuck off I played on the volleyball team when I was 13 you know,” she laughed before leaning in and kissing my lips slowly. “Don’t be rude.”

“Naw you look fucking good though,” I mumbled, “that ass is mine later you hear me?” I softly told her and she rolled her eyes at me.

“Gimme a kiss first or I won’t let you hit—“ she said with a grin… she was bluffing.

“Oh that’s how we doin shit now?” I raised an eyebrow at her.

“Yes. Kiss me dammit.” She said completely deadpan before I looked over her shoulder and noticed a girl holding a camera and pointing it towards us.

“Baby get up real quick,” I told her and she could tell my entire demeanour had changed, I bit on the back of my teeth kind of annoyed. “this bitch taking pictures.” I told her and she got up and stepped back as though she didn’t know me and didn’t say anything.

“I’m out yo these chicks taking pics of us and shit—“ I told the guys as I slipped on my nike slides and put a shirt back on.

“Uh well you’re famous you kind of have to get used to it,” Aleisha said as if it were a no-brainer. To most people, it may seem weird, but I’ve always been a private person. This kinda shit made me feel uncomfortable. I was with my people, having a private moment I don’t need that shit splashed all over the blogs, I wanna speak through my music and that’s it.

“Naw we’ll all go then,” Mike said. He kind of got it too, I guess he’d been around me from day 1. Everyone picked up and packed their shit and we were all heading back to the villa as a group. I was walking back with Bas and Ced, Tess’ girls behind us and Mike and Tess all the way in the back. They were standing pretty close—Mike did that whenever a lot of fans or people were around, that way they wouldn’t link Tess to me—I didn’t want them in my personal business like that—plus, I ain’t wanna put Tess on blast either cause she chose to be in a relationship with me.

----

Zoe

Everyone went to the beach today, but Omen and I decided to fall back. After they all left to get breakfast he decided to make me pancakes from scratch—at first I thought damn this guy is so passive, he barely ever spoke, but he was cute. Now that I’m getting to know him a little more he’s opening up and I’m glad we got the day to ourselves today to kind of just hang out. So he made me breakfast, then insisted that I call him Damon, which I thought was cool, I only knew him as Omen I didn’t know Damon was his government or anything.

After breakfast we both got ready and we were at an art museum—I haven’t smiled this hard in such a long time, he’s so charming and funny—I dunno, this might lowkey be the best vacation I’ve ever been on.

“Naw naw, I got it—“ he said, taking a picture of the sculpture in front of us with my camera. “I’m an aspiring iphone photographer uno,” he softly said… he was so damn soft spoken, but I liked the sound of his speaking voice—it was… soothing.

“Hilaaaaaarious,” I rolled my eyes but still let him take my camera.

“Look, how’s that? I get the angles and shit?” I asked me as he showed me the picture.

“Yea its aight or whatever,” I rolled my eyes teasing him, “I like the light and shadow though it’s good.”

“I’m actually into art you know,” He said looking in my eyes. “I didn’t just bring you out here cause it’s a cute date spot… that doesn’t hurt either though.” He winked.

“Did you just wink at me?” I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Aye don’t laugh I’m tryna charm you—“

“You were doing just fine though… I think it’s the Spanish moustache that got me,” I smiled looking up at him… he was tall too… he towered over me.

“Just my moustache?” he asked, raising an eyebrow, his voice almost making my knees weak.

“YUPP,” I said, popping the ‘p’. Just then he unexpectedly leaned in, leaving a soft peck on my lips.

“How bout now?” he smirked.

-----

Tess

We were back at the villa, and we’d just had dinner made by the chef then we started some spontaneous drinking games which ended up with me sitting in the living room with Aleisha, drunk as fuck and ready to go out.

“Where’s Jermaine?? Somebody get Jermaine for me pleaseeeee—“ I yelled and Bas laughed at me. He’d been snapchatting me saying dumb shit all night, I swear when I’m in a better state of mind I’m gonna smack the piss out of him. Seconds later, J came through the door looking at me.

“Whatchu want Tess?” he looked at me amused, he was used to me in this state by now.

“Come with me and Leish,” I softly said trying to focus on him, even though it felt like he was spinning in front of me.

“You ain’t goin no where baby girl you drunk,” he sat on the ottoman in front of me, and placed both hands on the sides of my face. “you gotta get your ass to bed ma,”

“I wanna get a tattoo,” I told him with a slight frown.

“I can’t let you do that babygirl,” he chuckled.

“Fuck off you’re not her dad, just let her—“ Leish told him, me snorting in return. We were both just having a good time, she was just as drunk if not as drunk as I was.

“She’s gonna get Riley on her wrist baby, isn’t that cute?” I told Jermaine who looked at Aleisha and then back at me. “and I wanna get one on my foot—“

“Why don’t you get cole world tatted on your ass baby?” he laughed grinning at me.

“The fuck you thinking—I’m on of your lil hoes out here?” I laughed as well. “No but listen it’s cute, I wanna get don’t lose your balance on my foot in cursive writing,”

He stopped for a second and just looked at me.

“Wait—you forreal?” he was surprised. “You sure you wanna do that babygirl?”

“Yeah I’m sure I swear I’m not that drunk—“ I only slurred a tiny bit. “I’m your number 1 groupie remember?”

“I know that baby,” he pecked me. “but you also hate pain—“

“the alcohol in my system’s gonna numb the pain… plus I can hold your hand while I get it done… I wanna do itttt—“ I whined sounding a lot like a child.

---

A couple hours later, I’d sobered up a little but Jermaine had made sure to ask me at least a dozen times if I was sure, and I repeatedly said yes and he held my hand through it.

“Does it hurt baby?” he asked as he looked down at my foot as the tattoo artist wrote the lyrics in cursive.

“Like a bitch,” I kinda laughed, “now you gotta tat my logo on you so I know it’s real—“

“First you gotta get a logo… as soon as you do I’ll get tatted on my dick,” he smirked.

“That does hurt a lot,” the artist laughed looking over at both of us.

“Naw I’m playing,” Jermaine said. “I’m not gon let her peer pressure me,” he said, squeezing my hand.

Soon enough, the tattoo was done and I loved it. We got back to the villa and I had it bandaged up cause it was still fresh, and Leish had her wrist with her sons name on it bandaged up too.

“And how’d she take it?” Mike asked as we entered the villa.

“Like a champ,” J said, kissing the top of my forehead, “that’s cute shit though… Tess you my ride or die…” he said with a soft smile.

there’s three more chapters left to this fic, and a sequel is currently in the works so stay tunedddd :)