a sizzler buffet for the sexually deranged

It was true that Matt was obsessed with the idea of *having had* sex, but he didn’t show any interest in trying to pursue anybody. What Matt was mostly interested in was Jay being involved, somehow. How could he not understand that this was too much to ask, even for them? Matt didn’t ever seem to feel bad about needing things from people.

this line was kind of painful to write (and one of those moments where i had to take a leap of faith on a writing choice lmao.)

i think that moment is indebted to Magnolia in that way — theres sort of an overarching theme of fathers and sons, from a small child telling his dad he needs to be nicer to him to Tom Cruise cussing out his absentee father on his death bed — but also it’s pure Johnny acting out his anxieties around Kreese.

it’s a really interesting ptsd narrative imo; he who is pushing this brand of Toxic Masculinity to the kids around striking first and striking hard is totally helpless in the face of the people who have harmed him, as well as the people he’s harmed. i think what interested me in writing about Johnny was that total lack of control.