~

even when you didn’t know where you were going, I was right there by your side.

He handled me like I was silk and he had money to spare, I wasn't worthless in his arms, But he could tear me apart if he wanted to And he did. You touched me like I was a diamond, Strong enough to withstand your hands But so precious that you were gentle. You let me go, anyway, When you saw that I was only glass.

darling, salt the paths he walked in your heart you cannot let love bloom again.

26/03/16

I am not who I should be but oh, I can see her on the horizon.

I miss you I miss you I miss you I miss you why why why why why why

I still save pictures that I think would make you laugh. I still check your horoscope. I still want to tell you about my day. I still have our photos. I still look for you when I’m crying. I still try to reach for your hand.

my love for you knows no end. it will kill you, my dear.

there was enough electricity between us to light up the country but somehow, you wanted the world.

there’s nothing beautiful about a fire once it has turned to ash.

The last thing they do is let you go. The first thing they do is save you. Somewhere in the split second between his outstretched hand and the bloodstained snow you have forgiven yourself and accepted your fate, but they bring you back. You have seen death. “This might hurt,” they tell you. The next thing they do is fix you. They rip you apart, knit your skin together with metal. They rip you apart again. And again. Your screams echo against the walls. “You owe us,” they tell you. They let you break again. Your bones turn to steel, your eyes to flint. You learn to forget the unnecessary remnants of your past life - fleeting emotions which slow you down. All that is left is anger. An unquenchable, focused wrath. The last thing they do is let you go. Your mind is a time bomb. You know me. You have forgotten how it feels to have anything other than ticking in your head. I’m not gonna fight you. You have forgotten faces as soon as you have disposed of them. You’re my friend. You leave rubble in your wake. Finish it. This is all you are. You are a warhead. You are not a person. There are no people, there are just missions. Missions and too few shreds of humanity.