I am a female white teenager who lifts.
But get this.
Iâm not some spoiled brat.
My mother makes $20k a year if she never takes a day off.
My step dad is a raging alcoholic whoâs on his FIFTH DUI CHARGE WITHIN THIS YEAR. He doesnât get sent to jail because he has connections.
My older sister is the most egocentric person Iâve ever met and her favorite thing is to one-up me with how she has better shit than I do because sheâs 20 and has a steady job.
she doesnât help pay for the house.
My parents are divorced. My dad has, I kid you not, half of a million dollars in his savings. Itâs a miracle and blessing if he tosses a $20 at me once a month.
My pantry is 90% Ramen noodles and egg noodles. My fridge is old condiments and tortillas and the occasional jar of salsa.
My dad refuses to pay child support because my mom has a tendency to use any money she has on luxuries.
And my step mother⊠well. She uses my dad as a sugar daddy and keeps her damn husband from helping out his own fucking kids.
And you wonder why I steal food? When I have no protein or fiber to eat. Iâm fucking constipated 24/7 Iâll be blunt about it. Thereâs only simple carbs in my house and it backs me up like hell I poop once every 3 days if Iâm lucky.
I have major depression and canât afford my meds anymore. I have to steal herbal supplements to try to help it out.
And my clothes? Theyâre all hand me downs. My sister, no offense to her this is literally just fact, is SIGNIFICANTLY larger than I am. All my jeans are 5 sizes too big. All the shirts are XXL when Iâm a medium. All my âformalâ clothes have to be held on strategically with pins and rubber bands
My underwear as I grow is even handed down.
Do you know how gross it feels to have to wear your sisters old stained underwear that doesnât fit right? Itâs fucking disgusting I wrap the damn base of the underwear in toilet paper before I put it on.
Iâm trying to get a career in makeup using only the shitty giant gift makeup boxes that my aunt gets me for christmas. Iâm allergic to the damn formula they use.
and youâre gonna get pissed off at me for stealing clothes that fit, underwear that isnât stained or ripped, food to eat, medicine to help, and makeup to give me confidence and help further a career?
I didnât even have a bra until last year because my sisters cup size was too small. Iâm a damn 34DD my tits hurt all the time before I stole my first bra.
The spoiled rich kids who steal for a rush do exist.
But thatâs not all of us.
Some of us are doing our best to hold on to the last strain of fucking sanity we have left.
TW suicide mention below
I tried killing myself before I started lifting. My depression got so severe that I wanted to end my life because I had nothing that was my own and nothing to eat my judgement was clouded with hunger and rage and I wanted to end it all.
end tw
And then I stole my first bra. By accident.
And my life changed from there.
So donât fucking get on my ass about âyouâre a terrible person whoâs making employees lose their jobs!!!!â No.
Youâre a terrible person whoâs fucking arrogance is clouding your ability to see people in pain doing their best to survive.
What I do does not effect you.
Stay the fuck out of it.
theartofmadeline
snowghoul
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blakekathryn
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