Untitled

Intro post

Being on your period as a chronic ill trans guy is wild, especially if you have a hormonal imbalance. Wdym my last period was genuinely only 3 days and completely painless, but I started my period in the morning AND I had to do a blood test for chronic illness reasons. And I have to get misgendered and deadnamed to deal with both. Next thing I know I spent the next 5 hours writhing and literally wailing and rolling around with the most diabolical pain I’ve every been in and then all 4 pain pills kicked at like 3pm and now I’m relatively chilling. What is happening 🧍

Wow sui posting during pride month?? That’s transphobic of me. Happy pride month and let’s pretend I want to stay alive for the sake of not ruining pride month despite the diabolical amount of times I was hate crimed this month on the internet and irl alone.

Currently feeling like Schrödinger’s suicidal person because I absolutely don’t want to be alive, I have thoughts of offing myself everyday but I don’t have the energy or means to do anything because that just feels like a waste of time and a stupid way to go. Because at the end of the day, no matter how I die, my disability is going to do something even worse and grab all the attention and be the the cause of my death.

Back for bit despite the pain and mental illness to say that if we’re looking canonically (based on looks and last name) gangle is not black. I know people want her to be and you can hc her to be but Raghavan is a Tamil last name. And she also looks Indian. Her character is very much a stereotype for Indian women and I hate that but

Being at the hospital is so wild because wdym I had take narcotics, benzos and muscle relaxants all at the same time because my heart is just a little fucked. And that the biggest thing the nurses are doing are rooting for me to take an actual shit

Bruh I’m getting a major surgery tomorrow and I have to leave the house at the asscrack of dawn and reach by 7 because LA traffic is diabolical at all times. I don’t think it’s even worth going to bed at this point cuz I have insomnia and it genuinely takes me several hours to fall asleep unless I took a sleeping med or something that’ll make me instantly drowsy.

I thought it would require a second watch to comprehend but the mental illness part of the hyperfixation just hit me like a truck. Like physically. As in it’s making me nauseous. Even worse because I’m having diabolical period cramps.

Bruhh im going to see The Last Act at AMC today but I just had to get hit by the trifecta of a diabolical headache, my period, and no breakfast🧍