Life Vindicated by Grace

The Lord is amazing in the ways He orchestrates all things. I’ve found time and again that I don’t have to “search” for opportunities to be used by God. They are already abounding. Simply obeying Him (doing my imperfect best to love my neighbor) has led to so many chances to share His love and to share the gospel. 

Last weekend, I caught up with an old coworker after 3 years, and it was such a wonderful time. He asked about my time away on missions, and about how I came to believe in Jesus. He also told me of his previous experiences in Hinduism, about the prayers he learned in Catholic school as a child in India, and about his current mindset. I gifted him a Bible, and I could see the joy in both him and his wife in receiving it. 

For what seems like a long time now, it’s been difficult to put pen to paper (fingers to keys? Lol). Haven’t had the right words or the frame of mind to express. But I was reminded last night of how important it is to continue journaling. 

We shared testimonies during small group of the different ways that God has shown his love and faithfulness – how He even gives us signs as a reminder of his promise. And yet when I tried to recall the many moments of the Lord’s faithfulness in my life recently, nothing jumped to mind. I simply haven’t been writing things down over the past two years. 

Whenever my life does end, I hope to have the same confession as John – “This is the disciple who is bearing witness about these things, and who has written these things, and we know that his testimony is true. Now there are also many other things that Jesus did. Were every one of them to be written, I suppose that the world itself could not contain the books that would be written." To do that, I really ought to keep a record of the countless ways He has proven faithful to every promise.

- The “gym rats” can be found working out at times when other people would typically be doing other things. Instead of hanging out / resting / partying on Friday nights and sleeping in / getting brunch on Saturday mornings, they are in the gym. The same faces are there every week. I am (sometimes) one of these people...

- Male pattern baldness is a real insecurity for many. Overheard in the gym: “And when I put my towel on my head after I shower, I see so much hair :(” It’s ok, boo. We are all fearfully and wonderfully made. If it happens to me one day, I hope I can pull off a Francis Chan look. 

- The homeless use a bartering system. Granted it’s far less efficient than using actual currency, there is something more intimate and personal about it. While walking home: 

“Hey! I love those cheese crackers. Can I have it?” “Yeah sure, but can I get one of your donuts?”  - Sometimes, it is good not to desire more. The things I’ve enjoyed most in recent days have been very simple: Worship, time spent with NL, powerlifting, good coffee, basketball, music...the list goes on. Ecclesiastes 8:15. 

- At the same time, the grind of work and other responsibilities has at times dampened my desire to be used in greater ways for His Kingdom. Not to say I have that power in the first place, but the Lord has consistently opened opportunities and doors to be of greater influence. I have rejected many of these chances. Forgive me, Lord, and help me to be a good and faithful servant. 

Scene 1: 

I am sitting at my desk at work. I send a polite follow-up email to a business partner, who responded in turn by ridiculing me and calling me inept. 

Scene 2: 

I am standing on the train, waiting for my stop. A man who is clearly not in his right mind continues to spit on people in his vicinity and throw things at them. He holds his shoe in the face of the lady sitting next to him until she cannot stand it and leaves. I walk up next to him, waiting for my stop. The stench is nearly unbearable. He turns to me, getting ready to spit, and ends up spitting on the guy next to me. I exit the train. 

Scene 3: 

NL texts me that she is walking home. I call her a few minutes later - no response. I call her twice more, and she responds the second time, clearly crying and distraught. Some man had run up behind her and grabbed her so hard that it left bruises yesterday. He did it again today. 

This has not been a good week. I have felt a disgust for people and a burning anger that I have not felt in a very long time. But as the prayers of my heart reached the Father, I found myself ashamed. 

“Yes, some people have scorned you. Others have done terrible things to the people you love. But what about you? I have extended my love and grace to you, even to the point of the cross. I have forgiven every debt and sin of yours. And now I command you - Love your neighbor as yourself, even your enemies. Pray for them. Feed my sheep, and seek the ones that are lost.” 

Matthew Henry

One of my favorite questions to ask peers is: What have been the biggest surprises of the transition to young adult life? 

The responses are mixed. 

“I’m confused about what to do next - continue work or go back to school.” “I never knew financial independence could be this awesome.”  “This is the most lonely I’ve ever been, and I don’t know where or how to make good friends.”  “I’m already bored with corporate work and waiting for the next big thing.”  “I’m still trying to figure out my purpose in life.” 

While this certainly doesn’t encompass all of the different things people face or struggle with, I do think it can be boiled down to two primary needs: 1) solid community and 2) a clear path to follow. 

In college, it was easy to be surrounded by people who shared a similar passion for making Jesus known, and who were genuinely pursuing their relationship with God. By God’s grace, I’ve also found such a community here in Berkeley, but I certainly do not want to take that for granted. Many other peers and close friends have struggled in their new cities for precisely that reason - not having a community that has the same type of focus on growing together and outreach. This isn’t meant to say that other churches are doing it “wrong”, but not every church is quite as active as a college ministry/church. 

School, as much as we may have complained about it, was an excellent place to grow, hear new ideas, engage with a lot of different kinds of people, and follow a pretty defined path. Each major has pretty clear steps, including pre-requisite classes, exams for grad school, recruiting, etc. But after getting settled into a first job, things are a lot murkier. No one tells you which city to live in, which job to pursue, how to spend your time. While my own experience with the transition wasn’t perfect, it also certainly wasn’t rocky. Quitting my first job after just 4 months and going to the field for over a year isn’t exactly what would fall in the bounds of “normal”, but I am grateful that God gave me the confidence to take each step. 

We’re already 15 days into the new year, so this is definitely a little late. But I still felt it was important to reflect on the past year and to put in perspective the most important things over this time. 

Before writing this, I had already reflected on which experiences had been the most impactful and which pictures spoke most to what’s happened. Thinking a little harder on it, I think the best way to really digest everything is actually through a few key lessons learned that helped to further shape my priorities and paradigm. 

Man’s chief end is to glorify God, and to enjoy him forever. Perhaps the most important thing I’ve learned is best summarized by the first point in the Westminster Catechism. I’m incredibly thankful for the influences I’ve had this year that have driven me to really think about what it means to love God. For the past few years, I can honestly say that I’ve really tried to glorify God. But I was missing an equally important element - to enjoy him. As John Piper says, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in him.” There was a subtle element of masochism that had snuck into my mentality. “If I try harder, suffer more, give more of my time and energy - to the point of brokenness - then God will be more pleased with me.” With all the things I did in 2017 to try to serve or please God, I really missed the mark in so many ways. Jesus, thank You for your mercy in reshaping my perspective. The center must always be Jesus Christ Himself, not the ministry surrounding our attempts to glorify Him. 

The body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. On a related note, we must take care of our bodies as temples of the Holy Spirit. I realize that the context of 1 Corinthians 6:19 is more about purity, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say that this also means we should care for our physical health. I’ve already written about this, but just to reiterate to myself - Don’t be a dummy and ignore signs of your body breaking down. Pushing past your limit can definitely be a very foolish thing. 

Time with family is always worth it. The years are passing by more quickly, and time with family seems to be harder and harder to come by. I’ve finally really settled roots out here in California, and  the rest of my family will be staying in Michigan / China. Those moments together are precious, and really do require a new level of intentionality. 

Anyway. Today, I was mistaken as a lawyer. As my manager put it, “In most contexts this would be an insult. But in this case, it’s a compliment.” 

- Balance is generally needed. And the best way to stay rooted is to read your Bible, pray, and worship even through especially through the valleys. 

- Do not ignore what your body tells you. 

- Proclaim Christ! It's great that you do your work diligently, smile constantly, and complain rarely. But hey, Romans 10:17 still applies. 

- Saw a bald Chinese grandpa with his wife walking by with bandaids on the top of his head. The bandaids somehow made him extra cute. - Watched my friend’s post-missions video. - Very chill day at work. - Made plans to meet with an old friend whom I have not seen in 4-5 years. - Lady at the poke restaurant gave me very generous scoops of fish.

By chance, I stumbled upon a book in my church called The Missional Entrepreneur. Seemed like the natural thing for me to do was to pick it up and start reading. I’ve only read through the first few chapters, but wanted to share some perspective the author has, which I find very helpful:

Several terms are used for business as missions, generally referred to by the acronym BAM. Here are seven existing paradigms of BAM:

Business and mission - two separate activities. 

Business for mission - funding mission through the profits of business. 

Mission in business - seeking to lead unbelieving employees to faith in Christ. This reflects a Church Planting/ Evangelism (CPE) understanding of missions. 

Business as a platform for mission - work and professional life as a means of channeling mission throughout the world. 

Business in missions - business as a means to proclaim Christ in cross-cultural settings. This reflects CPE missions and a preference for working in unevangelized parts of the world. 

Business as a cover for missions - business as a means simply to obtain a visa. No real business is actually operated. This reflects a CPE missions mind-set. 

Business as mission - business as a vehicle of the mission of God in the world. 

Numbers 24:17

Crazy. God blesses Israel three times through Balaam, despite their continued waywardness and lack of faith. And then the prophecy above is temporally fulfilled through King David, and eternally fulfilled through Christ. There are some useful commentaries online that better explain the meaning of the references to “star”, “scepter”, “Moab” and “sons of Sheth”. 

Mindblown. 

Honestly, it is unfathomable how much depth there is in the Word of God. Who else but God speak into existence these prophecies that would be doubly-fulfilled? This prophecy is declared around 367 years before King David was born, and 1407 years before Christ.