It's Killhouse Now

*Sprays u with a can of "Serious String"* [you are gently covered by a loose, aerisolized tangle of high-tensile polymer weave]

I fucking forgot that Harry Potter ends with Harry going “I wonder if my slave will make me a sandwich”

everyone got taken out by the dogshit epilogue that this got buried but oh my god lol

thank god for breasts *remembers im atheist* thank science for breasts

*remembers I'm agnostic" I don't know who to thank for breasts

I drank a shitload of honey last night and slept for 12 hours

Stop calling me bear

Victor Frankenstein after achieving the impossible and building a fucking person from scraps of the dead: Oh god, ew, ew it's ugly! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew! Ew! Yucky! Yucky! Gross! Ew!

jigsaw influencer: it must feel good as fuck to survive a saw trap and know that you’re going to live your life to the fullest ⭐️ use code SAWTRAP to get 15% off on blue apron until 8/31

i want a mysterious source of income

You know, when I've remarked that a lot of the responses to my posts feel like people are just plucking out keywords they think they recognise based on the shape of them and replying to what they imagine the post says based on that, the possibility never occurred to me that this is actually how many American schools are currently teaching kids to read.

Like, my assumption this whole time has been that when folks go "I misunderstood this post that says [thing] as saying [unrelated thing] because I mistook [word] for [completely different word that happens to start with the same letter]", that was a bit. What do you mean they're teaching kids a reading method that's tailored to produce this exact error?

Uncles and Nephews can perform especially powerful attacks together. Experiment with different uncles and nephews to discover their unique abilities.

this is what LMFAO did with party rock anthem