xo, J

“life is just one big cycle of figuring out who you are and rediscovering yourself, again and again. life takes us to the most imaginative, least suspecting places -allowing us to do things we never thought we could, or leave what we once thought couldn’t live without. our hearts hate what we once love and love what we once hate. our minds learn from our old mistakes and quickly search for ways to make new ones. we are constantly molded, bent, broken, and rebuilt. we needn’t worry about who we’re going to be: that person doesn’t exist anymore than the person you once were is. what matters is where life decides to take us now and how we’re going to define the person we are at this moment.”

Well, just let me go. Just let me go. I am tired of sinking down to a lower place to be with men. I am tired of throwing a tarp over some of my personality so that the shape of my identity suits some gross man a little better, for whatever shitty things he needs to do in order to keep his boring identity erect and supreme. I have many grievances and no place to set them down, and I am cranky from having to shoulder this burden of reactions, like I am a fucking Ox that should carry your unsellable wares. I am tired of buying my own flowers. I am tired of having to hold my breath through Valentine’s Day the way you do when you drive past a graveyard. I want a valentine from a normal person who is horny. I want a prize for how well I can love. I want to be a prize for love.

Notice everything.