ephemeris

Well, it’s already 10 pm now and it’s not new year yet. Many things I’ve accomplished and learned through this year. I think I’ve survived from many sufferings, through all the crying and cutting and laying in bed for all days long.

I met an old friend who I haven’t seen since the last 3 years (he is someone I mean in the post “Everbest Friends” lol). This past few days, I feel like I burned out and lost my self control. I feel like I was going back to the last 4 years ago when I was a heartless person who’s thought that crying is a sign of weakness. It’s toxic, I know. I become a heartless person (again) because of the environment. I met some people this year and it changes my perspective a lot. Those people, they are very ambitious, something that I never did in senior high school.

I blame myself for not doing something productive, whereas I’ve been struggling so much this year. I become the first winner in the competition that held by Amnesty organization from my university. For your information, Amnesty is an organization that has concern on human rights. I joined 3 organization in my college. I told myself I want to be a “mahasiswa kupu-kupu” but ended up being the deputy head of public relations in one of my organization.

I’m out of my comfort zone. I’ve tried some new experiences though this year occurs a pandemic which is hinder many activities for all of us. I, maybe, just coming back to the old me. That’s why I give this post a title “New Year, Same Me.” Because I just did the same things that I did when I was in junior high school and senior high school, such as blogging again, continue my novel script, read Webtoon and Wattpad, watch animes and Korean dramas and also Netflix series, read Quora, etc. The new thing that I did this year just making playlist and decorating my Spotify so people know what am I listening to currently.

Anyway, I have written my resolution and wishlist for 2021. I also wrote an evaluation for 2020, things I’ve accomplished, things I’ve learned, things I hate that I want to avoid all of them in 2021 because it makes me heartless and lost my self control, as I said before.

Hence, I just wanna say .... I’m beyond grateful. Many things I want to share this but I don’t have much time. I must go back to finish my tasks and study for the final exams.

I want to post something, but I don’t know what’s topic should be written. So, I decided to post this. In order to improve my writing skills and English, I am trying to make a post with some new vocabularies and idioms that I have known. And some grammars, maybe.

Now it’s holiday. I open my Tumblr once in a blue moon, but for holiday, I try my best to make this Tumblr ‘shine’. Uh, whatever. By the way, final exams are over and I’m worn out. I studied as much as I could but the results still bad. And I feel peeved because of my Biology score. I mean, it’s nigh on the standard! And I kind of surprise that my English score isn’t good, whereas I’ve studied hard enough.

Anyway, during this holiday, I want to complete my favorite anime list as well as my novel’s stack. What’s more, I want to continue my draft, though I don’t have any idea. Wish me luck, ok?

After graduated, we lost contact. And a few months (or years?) I finally found his contact. And we started our conversation again, with a new hope. He changed a lot since the last time I talked to him. He was a nice person, full of humor. And I don’t know why the romantic story could happen to us in that time. It’s a long story, and after all, we never be. I mean, you know, I just want to be friend with him.

Many people don’t like him, because of his habit that kinda playboy (another reason why we never be in a relationship). But after a long time I know him, I understand him, I know that he is a warm person that has many idea. I like when we discuss about something. He’s smarter than I think. And of course his English is better than me, since he is a grammar nazi tho :P

Last Friday, I went to one of swimming pool in my city. Well, this is a school assignment. Because I’m not-too-good at swimming, so I decided to do assignment for a swim test subtitutes. My friends and I did the assignment in one place.

On that day, I brought my black hoodie. It’s my fav hoodie. Because the whether was hot, so I brought my hoodie anywhere, I didn’t use it.

After I finished the assignment, my friends and I wanted to go to the teacher for gave our assignment. But, when I looked for my hoodie, it wasn’t there. I tried to find it anywhere, but it wasn’t find. I was sad. Just, really, how a hoodie could lost while I put it beside me. If my hoodie were stolen, how? The place is small, full of people which was my friends from another class, and I was here.

Well, there was one people, a lady and her daughter there. But if they stole it, how could they ...

I didn’t know anymore. I was sad, very sad. I cried all night until overslept. This isn’t just a hoodie, it’s a ... I can’t describe it, but my hoodie is special.