미움.

it’s odd, but the experience of dream team is a nice reprieve from his current schedule.  although doha has longed to be an actor for years, it wasn’t for dramas like this that he was built.  forced into romantic trysts that don’t really further the arc of his character in his mind, not to mention a school drama genre that he didn’t really want to appear in has made him exhausted.  at least dream team has given him something to do outside of his drama shootings, even if at times it does remind him of all the things he’s trained for that he hasn’t as of yet had a chance to show when it comes to his career.

without the stress of an added factor of the unknown, you would think that somehow this season of master chef would be a lot better.  but doha sits stiffly on his interview chair wondering if it’s just for the best that next season, he doesn’t bother signing up.  after witnessing the fire brigade on hand for a moment’s notice of fear during their episode in which the contestants made baked alaska of all things when they were hardly qualified to make such an advanced dessert ... he thinks that it might be for the best.

at least yushin was a little less anxious this time, though.  it seems the fear of burning down the building wasn’t as potent as working with the element of uncertainty.  doha supposes he can understand why  -  after all, everyone has different fears.  still, baked alaska was probably not the best dessert to choose for the mostly inexperienced trainees that they had on hand.  nothing will change his mind about that.

this was sehoon’s first proper drama, the first thing that he had been cast in that was solely acting based and it was something that filled him with so much joy and excitement, as much as he didn’t seem or look it. but that being said, his first drama also meant that he was feeling a little bit out of place. a routine he’s not participated in before, and he couldn’t help the way his eyes would linger on those who looked like they had everything down and knew exactly what they were doing. sehoon, however, was sticking towards the edges and corners of the room, keeping his distance and staying out of the way of those who looked like they were stressing themselves out and ready to yank their hair from their heads.

he doesn’t expect anybody to really walk up and speak to him outside of the cameras rolling, so he’s quite surprised when he spots one of the leads head over and initiate conversation. “yeah, just after the next scene.” sehoon answers, a firm nod sent to the other. he vaguely remembers his name, but at this moment in time, he’s unable to remember. it takes a few moments of firmly thinking until his name finally reaches his mind. head perking up, it takes a few seconds for him to nod in agreement. “sure. i play kwon jimin, the owner of the cozy cafe. supporting role.” sehoon confirms, unsure as to how to exactly act or speak, but it seems like doha himself is unsure too. the official introduction comes, and he watches as doha takes a step closer. “nice to meet you, i’m han sehoon.”

   XX.   ━━    he’s not so sure what brings him to the side of this man who hangs on the fringes of the busy, let alone speak to him.  doha thinks he could have kept his mouth shut, but that might come off as rude and as there aren’t many places that are quite out of the way, doha would rather one person than ten tripping on him in the middle of the room.  part of him wonders why it seems the other actor looks a little out of place on the set as he does, but doha finds that since it’s not quite his business, it’s not really all that necessary to ask.

whoever thought that it’d be a fun idea to give them a baked alaska really will have something coming for them. in any mind, yushin smiles as he moves his shoulders lightly in anticipation. at least he’s familiar with his partner, even if he isn’t familiar with the baked alaska beyond watching one episode of it on television from australia or america one time, a few years ago. and he recalls it being dubbed rather technically challenging. a baked ice cream good, with meringue. sounds okay in theory, and separately, but compiled together. oh boy.

he appreciates doha taking the lead, as he nods. they’re here to do their best and make something edible. “sounds like a challenge if i’d ever heard of one. they should also make the judges make one among us too, that’d be real fun to watch,” yushin wags his brows as follows doha to the pantry. “cake. ice cream. and…. meringue.” he’s glad they’re letting them use premade ice cream, even if that may have potentially been the easiest part. “hey doha, did you want to try the typical vanilla flavours or did you want to…. spice it up with a different flavour palate?” that might be a nice surprise, but he doesn’t want to make a hard challenge even more difficult by his ideas, he won’t mind either way if doha says yes or no. 

   XX.   ━━    at least yushin doesn’t seem quite as nervous as before, perhaps because it’s a situation that they at least knew about with no odd twists or maybe due to the fact that he’s seen all this before.  regardless, with experience comes more certainty and they’re going to need it, especially when tackling a beast like baked alaska.  if he’s quite honest, even he doesn’t consider himself advanced enough to tackle a dessert like this.

maybe after this was all over aaron would try and get more into archery, the idea definitely making a bit of sense for him to learn the sport just in case there ever came a day where he would actually be able to have a roll in some sort of historical drama or even a drama in which he played a character that required knowing such a skill. for now though he figured it was best to focus on the task at hand and not allow himself to get too distracted with other thoughts.

he raises a brow and looks at doha when the question is asked, shaking his head slowly. “this is my first time.” he states this before following the other’s gaze towards the target where he had shot the arrow at. “maybe it was just beginner’s luck? i doubt i would be able to do that again even if i tried.” he lets out a small chuckle at his how words, rubbing the back of his neck as he does. it was true that he had never actually had training in the sport before, only ever really having seen others taking part in archery on tv or even in dramas. he was actually shocked himself that he had managed to get such a score with very little knowledge of the sport.

he returns his attention to the other male as he listens to what he has to say, nodding slowly to show that he understands. “i see… maybe i should take some lessons in it as well. it’s definitely more fun than i actually thought it would be.” he says this as he looks at the bow in his hands, smiling a bit as he thinks about how fun it would be to add such a skill to the list of things he actually can do. now that he thought about it, he didn’t really have much that he could really do skill-wise besides taking care of others around him as he did.

“maybe in the future legacy will have a historical drama and you can show off your archery skills.” he says this as his gaze returns to the other male, the smile still on his face as he speaks. from what he had seen a few moments ago when doha was shooting arrows, he could tell that the other would do great in such a drama if the opportunity ever came up, though with aaron he would have to definitely work on his archery quite a bit before he would ever come close to being even slightly decent in the sport.

   XX.   ━━    although aaron says it’s only his first time using a bow and arrow, doha can’t say he’s that surprised.  “ there’s nothing wrong with accepting praise when you’ve earned it.”  he finally says to him, keeping an eye on the arrow that’s still quivering deep in the target.  “ beginner’s luck, or perhaps you’re a natural.  both come with some degree of merit.” 

he pauses, turning to gaze once more at aaron.  “ if you’re enjoying it.  it may give you a better sense for the sport, and be a good skill for the future as well.” doha steps away from aaron then, grabbing his own bow and arrow to continue shooting his own.  after all, this is a competition and they have to get a certain amount of points before they can even move on.  

when they had been able to come up with their own possible characters aaron had wanted to try and take a different approach on a character different than the one he played in the kim family drama. in the end he had come up with two ideas but he hadn’t been quite sure which one would end up being the character he would play in cram school. this one he would be playing was supposed to be more on the ‘mysterious’ side due to his background and where he came from, trying to hide who he once was and start over in a new place. when he had come up with the idea, he had thought it would be interesting but also a bit of a challenge since the character was different than his usual self. if there was one thing that aaron loved doing, it was challenging himself and his own skills.

as he stands there in the room, getting changed into the clothing that was given to him, aaron begins to sort his own thoughts. he’s in the middle of pulling his shirt on over his head when he hears doha speak, waiting until he’s gotten his head through the hole and pulling it down before he turns to look at the other male. it seems like every time he’s in the same room as the other, aaron can’t help but feel his chest tighten, though he’s gotten somewhat better at trying to not let it affect him. “i actally like my character. i gave two ideas when auditioning but i was actually hoping more for the one they ended up choosing so it worked out really well in the end.” he straightens his top before speaking once again. “why do you say that? did they not go with any of your ideas?” he asks this, eyebrow raised as he looks at the male.

    XX.   ━━   although doha appreciated the fact that the staff took his ideas for his character into account, there's still the fact that they fleshed him out in a way that he certainly didn't appreciate.  not everyone needs a love line to complete the story of their character, and yet somehow, in spite of what he thought was a rather solid character idea that didn't need romance, he ends up with one.  he doesn't want to be an actor known only for his romances.  more than anything, he wants to be an actor known for action but they haven't given him a chance to show those skills.  typical.

doha leans back against the wall, finished with dressing into his own clothes to check the fit but still not quite interested in leaving.  throughout his time spent with aaron, he's realized that at the very least, the other is a good listener and it's easier to talk to him than most others.  doha still hasn't quite opened up to the other man, but at the very least he can confide in him his frustrations about work.  after all, they're both actors  -  it's nothing altogether too personal.  doha's frown tightens at aaron's gaze, the emotion that flits across his eyes for but a fleeting moment before he covers it up.  well.  it isn't too personal for him, at least.  

most of the sports so far had been pretty easy in their own ways, at least that’s what aaron thought anyway. it was only when he had heard about there being archery that he had become a lot less confident than he usually was with it came to just about anything. he didn’t have anything against the sport, in fact he had actually always wanted to try his hand at it at least once in his life, though he wished that he had at least a little experience so that he wouldn’t let his team down.

aaron told himself that all he could do was just try and do his best, that in the end this was in fact just a game after all and it didn’t matter really who won or lost. he had never really been someone who was more on the competitive side really, being more of the type who just did things such as this because it was fun and a nice way to experience different events in his life. at least this was his usual thinking when it came to certain things.

it takes him a moment to realize that doha is next to him, being startled slightly when he hears the sudden voice beside him and looking over at the other male. he had been so lost in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed the other approach him. his chest has that same feeling it usually does lately when he’s around the other male, however, he ignores it and does his best to pay attention to what doha instructs him to do.

he offers a smile to the other, despite knowing that he won’t receive one back but he doesn’t mind at all. he’s grown used to the way the other male is after having spent enough time with him to realize all of this. “thank you.” he says this before he returns his attention to the target and releases the arrow, watching as it finally hits the mark and his smile grows as he looks back at doha. “wow, you’re good at this. have you done archery before?”

    XX.   ━━   he's not sure if it's a lack of confidence or a lack of skill that makes aaron so bad with a bow, but watching him struggle with it is a little pathetic.  they won't be able to move on if aaron doesn't hit any targets at all; everything here seems to be about teamwork.  although he could easily get them enough points on his own without much help from the others in the field, it probably wouldn't look good on camera and for some reason, aaron looking so pitiful with the bow and arrow and being watched by many almost .. rubbed him the wrong way.  

guiding aaron is easy.  as usual, he listens well and even more so when it seems like he's actually trying to learn the skill.  archery isn't necessarily the easiest sport in the bunch; a lot of power comes from pulling back the bowstring and precision with the aim is something that can't really be taught.  it requires a focus that not many are great at to hit the right angles and trajectories.

doha has to make sure that aaron is looking at the mark rather than him.  that's what's going to be the hard part.  and that's why he guides his attention to the front by shifting his form and helping him to hold back the bowstring in all the right ways, his keen eyes narrowing at even the slightest shift of arm or anything that could cause problem.

it seems like things are working out in his favour when, unexpectedly, a gentle brush into his elbow leaves his plate jerking in his hands which, of course, means some of it ends up on his shoes. doha has to sigh and look at the stranger, because these are of course his costume shoes and now he has to clean them by hand before the break is over. " do you mind lending me a hand? these are the shoes i was supposed to wear for the next scene." the comment is polite, but clipped, indicating his annoyance. it's another supporting cast member, one he hasn't had a scene with quite yet. " ... please." he adds, though he feels like that's going overboard in the niceties. after all, it wasn't his fault for the clumsiness.

he cleared his throat at the end of his ment - ramblings, really - taking a pause. was he going too fast, was it too overbearing? haneul doesn’t really know, he can’t fully gauge from the reactions he’s had with the other, but doha looked poised as alway, like the star he is. there’s no denying that doha is good-looking, but more than that, haneul was impressed by the aura and composure he gave out. it’s different from the other stars he admire, like the gentleness of lee shinhae for example, but a star nonetheless.

and now, he listens. humming, he nodded along. “ah, you must be a really cool hyung,” haneul blurted out, but he meant it. family was a weird topic for him, but he’s always wanted a brother to call his own. though, right now, it wasn’t about him. “i think no matter the brand you wear, you always make it look good,” he hummed, “besides, fashion isn’t about wearing the most expensive items, but how to mix and match to fit. and hyung, you make the average items look classier. really really.” 

“personally, i…don’t really understand high end brands sometimes. that’s why i kind of want to learn more about fashion through this vlive show as well. usually i just go for something more college-prep? something comfortable enough. like hoodies, sweaters, that sort of stuff,” he elaborated as per the script, given how this was the first of his series. "if hyung, you have to pick 3 favourite things from your closet to wear, what would it be?”

    XX.   ━━   oddly, doha can tell that haneul seems to be second guessing himself even if he doesn't know the younger trainee well - he's just caught him glancing at him every so often, and always praised him for something or another. it's hard not to take notice of haneul; he's quite pretty in ways that a boy usually isn't but doha does his best to ignore attention as much as possible.

right now though, in this room, it's hard not to take notice of haneul and all his little tells of insecurity. doha wonders how he can make this easier on him, wonders if it's even possible for a guy like him to do at all. though when the focus shifts to himself, doha knows all too well that unless he appears fluid and graceful, he's going to look like the awkward one. he's going to be the one making this episode awkward. so doha pushes aside his unhappiness at exposing himself in any sense of fashion, and nods his head.

" i try to be." he finally says, " though i suppose you'll have to ask my brother how he feels about that." doha thinks he'd know how nathan would respond, but he's been surprised before. " i suppose i do my best to look presentable at the very least ... i don't go out to very many places, though, so i think that's often limited to my training wear."

" do you have a scene soon?" he finally asks, lifting a brow just slightly. the other trainee doesn't look familiar, though doha isn't really any authority on the members of the cast, let alone all of the trainees in legacy. " if we're in it together, perhaps we should practice though i'm not really sure who your character is." he awaits the reply of the other actor, though again, doha's not sure if he's an actor or just a trainee that managed to snag a role in the drama like so many of the guests did. he's already spoken enough he thinks, and polite enough too so that it won't cause trouble between the two. regardless, he takes a step forward and finally decides on some kind of .. introduction. " i'm bae doha. i'll be playing the student teacher."

“it’s not a bad event at all, it’s….” he doesn’t want to finish the statement. he hates the outfit. and the concept behind it. the obstacle courses seem much more taxing, and apparently there’s another one around too after they’d already done the military course. “thanks for asking, i appreciate it.” he knows he’s in front of the cameras and needs to keep himself in check, not wanting to represent the worst sides of himself in front to the public. the day is a lengthy one at best, but it’s in good fun.  that and he wants his team to win. so he will do his best even when he has to play the part of a cookie. 

“at least we get to do it as a team so it’s not going to be too rough. i have faith in our team. we’ll do well.” yushin says this more to convince himself this is going to be enjoyable. when they say they can start, he jogs slightly not to wear himself out. a lot of the events today were about endurance after all. it’s okay so far, until he slips into the pool. and by god, trying to get out, he suddenly felt ten times heavier. “oh gosh, i wonder how many times its going to take us to finish this. at least we’re all trying to fill up the same container.” 

   XX.   ━━    the way yushin trails off the way he does tells doha everything he needs to know.  he doesn't want to talk about it and doha isn't one to pry or continue to press.  he gives a quick glance over yushin of course, one last measured look to figure out if he'll survive this.  he can only imagine the trouble that it's going to be if it turns out that yushin is afraid of the water or .. something.  " yeah.  we have awhile to go yet so we have to keep on." the next thing that doha says, he mutters under his breath so only yushin can hear.  " you can swim, right?"

he turns his head to aaron with a sigh, knowing that he should at least say ... something.  things have been more tense between them as of late  -  a reason that he's fairly sure he knows, but can't seem to cut him off for.  it's a curse.  he thought he was meaner than this, but something about aaron has him biting his tongue and keeping him around.  " how do you like your character?" doha finally says, flatly as he can manage.  " i think i'm going to struggle with mine." he turns back to pulling up the pants they've chosen for him, shaking his head.  " again."

most of the time aaron wouldn’t overthink things, he would usually just go with the flow and not worry about anything unless he necessarily had to, though how could he just easily do that after what had happened between the two of them? how did one actually act as if nothing happened? he wasn’t sure, though it wasn’t like things had been really planned from the start so he knew that he had to make an attempt to forget and move on as if nothing ever happened. that’s what would be best right?

just thinking back to the failed attempts at any sort of relationship that involved his own feelings, aaron knew that he didn’t have the best of luck and at this point, he had just learned to accept it. in the end, it was probably best to just push all of the thoughts out of his mind and ignore what he was feeling. at least that’s what he told himself he should do, his heart seemed to have different plans and that’s what scared him the most. that he would get to where he was now and end up just like he had in the past, which was definitely a reason as to why he needed to settle his own thoughts and feelings before it became too late.

it’s when doha speaks that he finally returns his full attention to the other, glancing down at his own glass before smiling softly and looking back up. “i guess i could use another drink. i’ve just about mingled with most of the people here so i could use a bit of a break from that.” he chuckles softly before drinking the last bit of his drink that was left, waiting for doha before following along to the bar in order to get a refill. aaron knows that he probably shouldn’t drink much, especially since he wasn’t really the best when it came to alcohol. yeah, he had a bit of tolerance but if he drank too much there was no telling what dumb things he would do or say.

    XX.   ━━    a drink would be better than this.  this awkward tension that he doesn't want to feel, that aaron is perpetuating just by existing at the moment.  there's nothing between them; doha made sure of it  -  just an odd, intense attraction that they both acted on but he failed to realize how ... aaron would take it.  a single night shouldn't have meant anything at all, and yet somehow it's affecting the entire atmosphere and making it heavier than it should be.  doha's already annoyed because of the party.  he doesn't want to take out his frustration on aaron too, because aaron doesn't understand his own disinterest in anything but .. the physical.

even to him, it sounds crass.

he sighs heavily as he pulls himself up from his chair, with plans to head to the bar and .. drink.  maybe that'll help extinguish the heavy atmosphere between the two of them.  " i can only imagine." doha mutters as he stands, his glass in hand.  pausing, he waits for aaron to follow him and licks his bottom lip.  his eyes don't quite meet aaron's, but he's leading them to the bar, waiting for the bartender there to take notice of them amidst the busy crowd.

really.  baked alaska, with the most skittish person in the kitchen working beside him.

" i'll handle the fire." he says finally, nodding his head as he once again, takes the lead in this.  he turns his head to yushin who, once again, seems very pale.  " we'll be fine.  we were just fine last season, remember?" he attempts to put a comforting hand on yushin's shoulder but doesn't leave it there for long, instead dropping it to his side.  he can't really be comforting if he doesn't feel all too comfortable himself.  either way, doha isn't the comforting type  -  the only way they'll manage this is if they go through the challenge together and yushin once again, doesn't see it as bad as it could be.

he turns his attention back to the younger trainee, giving him a long stare.  " let's just gather the ingredients we'll need first."