Dan. Rep is my soul. Indonesian.

I just hate everything right now. I dont like myself when my anger controlled my body and my mind. Everything just seem so wrong, and I hated it all.

I hate when I am mad because of some lil' things. I'm tired for being over-minded person. I'm tired for writing down about how I felt about the thing I'm facing right now. None of them was easy.

I just want to stop thinking what would other people think of me. Their words are so deeply going inside the deepest place in my mind. I want to take those feeling away from my life. I dont want to feel hurt from the words they were saying. But, this is me.

You know you hate it when you have some people in your life who knows you for year, they know what makes you feel bad and angry, but they did that anyway. They hurted you, and then asked why are you so sad.

This world need more people who can understand each other.

I dont want to hurt them, I was never had a thought for hurting them. But why did they keep hurting me? no one ever taking care of my feelings. I'm tired for being the one who wounded, the one who always get the scar.

Everyone knows my behavior, but no one know how to talk about that in the right way. Everyone know about how I feel about something that hurt me, but they did the things that makes me feel bad about everything.

Everyone just know, but they never take it seriously. No one knows how much my effort to get myself better and get back to the way I used to be.

I hate to say this, but it seems like I have no one to talk to. I always being a place, also still looking for a place.

These demon inside me are insist for the revenge on everything. You know I can do that, but there was always my heart, who stopped every freakin' plan. I hate and adore my heart at the same time. It always get hurt, but it doesnt want any revenge.

PART 1 — Ally

Ini adalah kisah tentang dua manusia yang saling jatuh cinta. Hari pertama di musim panas adalah hari yang paling ditunggu oleh setiap manusia yang ada. Well, atau mungkin hanya untuk seorang Ally. Ya, Ally. Seorang gadis berparas jelita dengan rambut brunette, mata cokelat terang, hidung macung, dan bagian tubuh lain yang merupakan sebuah mahakarya dari sang Kuasa.

A few hours ago, i had a dream and taylor was in it. Well, at first, i was in some store idk, and i saw this brown door, found out that was taylor swift's house. Okay, so i was about to open the door, and then this two girl my ages, they hold me and pull me to hide behind some stuffs. They carried posters, cds, all about taylor. This brownie-girl whisper, "hey, we're going inside together, just wait for the perfect moment. taylor used to be out in couple minutes." i dont even know them, but i thought they're just crazy about taylor, like i do. So, in a few minutes, taylor came out. This girls beside me running with smiling face to taylor. I followed them. Taylor hug them, and it seems like she knew it was them. When she hugged me, she said something like, "i dont recognize you." i smile and when i was about to introduce myself, she told us to came inside. So here we are, three girls in taylor swift's house with taylor swift herself. I said something stupid like, "my instagram is bla bla and i need you to know if im spamming, please do not blocked me." She laughed. AND IT WAS SO SOFT. And, i told her that i made this new account on tumblr just because she plays tumblr a lot. She just laughed. So, the two girls went out. It was just us, then her family showed up. Her mother, and two nephew (tay, r u have nephew or niece?) idk, but that just two lil kids. I looked at her face a lot, then this one question just came in my head. "Are you happy?" i said. She starring at me, and then she said softly, "yes." I know theres something wrong, like looking at her face, i just know. She became quite. And start crying, not like crying a lot, but i know her tears had come out. And shes trying her best to not let anyone knows, include her mother. I just saw her face in the next few minutes, until we have dinner, and i woke up.

I love you, taylor. Maybe you will never recognize me, but its enough for me knowing that you are a happy person now. Every step you take, every strong you get. There will be bad people against you, but you have me, you have us, your friends who will always stand by you forever.