Other people aren’t medicine

“I’m scared that one day I’m gonna wake up, and you will have changed your mind about me. You will no longer see the soft parts that play with your hair and spoon you after a long day. You will only see the parts that are angry and sad all the time. You will only see the worst in me, because there is so much of it. So much screaming and childish fits. I am so scared that one day you will wake up and leave me. After all the years of me shouting at you that you deserve more, you will finally go searching for it. You will leave and I will crumble beneath the pain of losing someone I never deserved in the first place. Someone who is loving, kind and soft. Someone who knows how to treat a woman. I’m scared that one day you will leave me and I will be nothing without you.”

“its all in your head”

“My only relief is to sleep. When I’m sleeping, I’m not sad, I’m not angry, I’m not lonely, I’m nothing.”

From the start, I knew we wanted different things; from fate, from life, from each other. So the ending was always going to be this way. But a part of me will always ache, wishing you wanted me enough to overcome all that.