during a quiet night at the station harry turns to ravi and says 'hey rav, fuck marry kill, chim, eddie or buck?'
'obviously kill buck-' 'oh yeah, obviously' (buck, lifting his head up from where he's sprawled in a recliner: hey.) '-fuck eddie, I've got eyes. marry chim for the sweet captain privileges.'
(eddie, from the other recliner, without lifting his head: nice.)
'hey cap,' harry hollers, 'fuck marry kill, ravi, eddie or buck?'
'I'm pretty sure this is a HR violation,' says chim from where he's doing admin at the dining table. 'but uhhh. buck, I'm sorry, you're my brother and I love you, but I can’t. I've gotta kill you-'
(What the fuck?? says buck)
'transfer ravi to another house and then fuck him, I guess. eddie, I'll marry you.'
(yeah ok says eddie around a big yawn)
chim says, 'hen, you're exempt, lesbian card in play.' (thank you lord says hen without looking up from the book she's reading.) 'harry, you're exempt because I need to be able to look your mom in the eyes'
(And because he's, what? twelve? mutters buck.
Im eighteen and three quarters, hisses harry.
Spoken like a true 12 year old)
'buckaroo, fuck marry kill, eddie, ravi or-'
'ah, ah, let me finish! eddie, ravi or your truly.'
'kill ravi. then uh. Uh.' buck clears his throat. (hen lowers her book.) 'I'm uh, I'll marry chim, he, you know, I already know he's a good husband. a-and jee and nash are already buckley hans, so that's. convenient.'
'and you'll fuck eddie,' hen concludes, placidly.
'you don't want to marry me?' eddie says, sounding a little hurt.
'I - it's not that I don't want to marry you, I just really don't wanna fuck chim or ravi.'
'so you do want to fuck eddie,' ravi says.
'you said you'd fuck eddie!'
'well duh. I mean, i'm straight but look at him.'
'I'm always looking at him!!!'
an awkward silence. harry, deeply confused, whispers 'what is happening?'
'it's my turn,' says eddie, 'kill ravi. fuck chim, as a friend. marry buck.'
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