LeRoy

#cancer

#TuesdaysWithGabi

It feels good to return home, but it also means returning to a consensus where people value money and its importance more than life itself. I don't think another death in this family would change their toxic mindset.

Alfred Lord Tennyson

#TuesdaysWithGabi

#TuesdaysWithGabi

#FrontierPsychiatrist

#TuesdaysWithGabi

This came from my former psychiatrist Dr. Amy Harsany. She said "I thought you really liked her". I liked her to the point where a funny feeling came over me. Something was growing.

I didn't have serious feelings for Gabi until after she gave me seductive gazes when I told her about the incident that happened with #MKNaomi in Melbourne, Australia. Her body language led me to believe that she liked me. RickRolling my way into her office was my way of saying I like you too.

Back in 2010 I was in a similar situation where I had feelings for a therapist. Ultimately it was the nurse practitioner who spilled the beans as far as the crush I had on Danielle. In the end she felt the need to apologise for the counter transference vibes she was giving me. I thought #TuesdaysWithGabi would flow in the same direction but it ended with her breaking down.

When my mom got the call that Tommy just died, the first thing she did was grab my hand. After leaving her bedroom I posted the following on social media.

"IF YOU'RE CONTEMPLATING SUICIDE I STRONGLY ENCOURAGE YOU TO GET THE HELP THAT YOU NEED!!! I JUST HEARD SOME VERY DISTURBING NEWS!!!"

A few minutes later I get a call from Aunt Kiki to delete my latest status update on Facebook. She said "I know that you're family but Little Tommy doesn't know yet.". Later I received a message from my cousin Sherali informing me that there were people in the family talking about what I said on Facebook. I informed him that I already talked to his mom and subsequently removed my status update.

Before they made the drive to Tallahassee I remember the caravan making a pit stop at my house. After obtaining Tommy's ashes a small memorial was planned at a beach front pier in Suffolk County. At the end of the memorial his ashes were poured into the water.

During the musical part of the service I stepped up and took over by singing. My hikikomori routine allowed me enough time to practice my vocals. Someone even took note that I had a "good singing voice".

The one thing that stood out to me that afternoon is when it was time for Little Tommy to say a few words. As tears poured down his face he said "I had no idea that I had such big family". It took awhile for me to get to the point of shedding those same tears after my own father died of cancer.