Pierrotdolia System @lepusflocculus - Tumblr Blog

Haii intro post or something ^_^

(These are frequently rewritten)

CONTENT WARNING: we occasionally use this blog for venting. That includes posting about upsetting/triggering topics. I tag when I feel necessary but I don’t provide any convenient way to filter my posts.

🛸

We use the title Pierrotdolia System [PS] or pierrotdolia warren for arbitrary thematic purposes but a collective name falls under any variation of: Visi / Vidi

Previously used “postcripts” for all system title stuff (that’s why the tag no longer matches lol)

+ Collective he/him

+ This body is an Adult

For-your-benefit information: Is the following in your DNI? We’re pro endo, support creating headmates, don’t really care about shipcourse, and we DO NOT believe “narc abuse” is a thing. There’s no such thing as abuser disorders. If a narcissist abused you, that’s still just regular abuse. Their disorder didn’t do that. On a lighter note, we’re just terribly cringe. We’re so cringe. We like childish things and getting overly invested in fiction. I cannot uphold any notion of being cool if you scroll down this blog

I don’t really care for disclosing origins because first of all it’s none of your business but second of all endogenic/traumagenic is a stupid binary and has turned potential community into just another platform for infighting. We embrace all types of systemhood in this decade 🕯️🕯️🕯️

We have schizoid personality disorder and post about it a lot. Any experiences are our own and do not reflect a monolith. Our ask box is always open to anything, but that’s not a guarantee we’d respond

°•. We will probably never post individual headmate intros, but many of us do like to be known by name. For that reason, we may occasionally sign off who wrote what. That doesn’t mean everyone always will. .•°

Maybe you like the same stuff we like?

History, comic books, science, touching grass (literal. outdoors is nice)

Some sources included because if I listed fandoms instead we’d be here all day

SOURCE LIST: Ben10 (cartoon), The Legend of Zelda (video games), Fullmetal Alchemist (animanga), Dimension 20: Fantasy High (D&D podcast), Deltarune (videogame), My Little Pony: FiM (cartoon), Marvel Comics, JJBA (animanga)

#postscripts personal

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Usually it is true that praise and criticism mean nothing to me but I cooked dinner and my sister called it mediocre and I’m sat here so offended lol…. I thought I did a good job even if it wasn’t an OUTSTANDING job.. man stfu you don’t even cook don’t call my steak mediocre..

#ok like I get that we grew up in a restaurant she’s obviously had outstanding steak before to compare it to #BUT STILL BRUH #I wouldn’t call it fuckin mediocre.. I would accept “just average” but MEDIOCRE?#ugh whatever I’ll just have to be tryhard and impress her next time

Crying in your head and not your body makes the sadness feel like curdled milk. It just sits behind your periphery with nothing to be done for it. The emotion exists parallel to me; we don’t intersect

#the constant back and forth between myself is so grating #he doesn’t want to live his life he wants us to forget anything about him #but who he was is who all of us were because we all used to be him. sorta kinda.#and then we can’t remember our life or have no emotional connection to these memories #and that’s a disturbing feeling at times #so you end up with this push and pull magnet situation #where one guy cant cope with remembering and wants to forget #and the person filling that void can’t cope with forgetting and wants to remember #thus repeating the cycle #i dont know who the fuck I ammmm

ghhhgr hg interest person.. interest person… click “accept all cookies” when you see me interest person…… let me collect all uour data.. let us swap extensive clinical notes on each other… I Promise It Will Be Fun And Is Not Extremely Weird

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#headmate art

The ADHD symptom of having some sort of sound byte or clip of music playing in your head constantly every single day from rise to rest, yes familiar, but I’ve been trying with little success to actively focus on turning it off or tuning it out lately. When my brain is over active and electric, trying to pinpoint “where” the sensation of music in my thoughts is at and trying to diminish it just worsens my motor tics for some reason. Oh you want to lower the volume? How about snap your fingers 8 times in a row and twist your neck around. As punishment. Now listen to those same lyrics loop again for the one millionth time. Foolish boy.

#im just really curious if it would be possible to free up the RAM being used on radio magic #so it could be allocated to something a little better #like if my sysmates could communicate with the same sound quality as the music? godsend #haven’t really accomplished this yet but I’m still gonna try

Being fictives and drawing yourselves and then also trying to have a sense of privacy feels like those memes about birds in police stations getting their faces censored on the news to protect their identity (is clearly a bird)

#headmate art

are there objectum gatekeepers.. like if I say that drawing boobs or any genitalia on an object defeats the purpose would people just get pissed at me or would that make sense..

#to be totally clear I hate gatekeeping #I dont actually want there to be gatekeepers of most things and they annoy the fuck out of me #I maintain very personal resentment towards the concept of policing who and for what reasons youre allowed to enjoy something #but that being said I do feel like applying human sex characteristics to objects sort of defeats the purpose of lusting for objects #at least in my asexual world for me personally #I dont really find it unusual or surprising for it to be done #and its still a normal way to engage with attraction #and I dont need to preserve the purity of form by saying what is and is not “actually objectum”#but im just saying if I was gonna rizz up a boat engine that I wouldn't be looking for her engina if yknow what im saying #you gotta play with tempered steel as it is and show her propeller blades love too

revealing myself to have been present at the devils sacrament by saying this, but I never quite follow why people use "grace was a science teacher" as reasoning why he would've taught sex ed at any point... I mean maybe his school was really underfunded idk but is it just that none of you remember being in school or like you have no conceptualization of teachers having specialties or like. He was not a health teacher. Why would he teach sex ed. why would that be part of his curriculum at all. You can just have him be flustered describing sex to rocky without saying "oh this should be easier than doing it for middle schoolers" WHY WOULD HE HAVE TO DO IT FOR MIDDLE SCHOOLERS EITHER

#what kind of science classes were you guys in where they lumped the birds and the bees in with mechanics #the one lesson we see him giving on screen is about acoustics #and his students think of him as a relevant party to ask about the sun dots #that's the most we know about his classroom #which gives me the impression he taught physics or chem or both #maybe also a bio class since thats what his degree is in #but again I have to say. even if we were being taught about dna or punnet squares or reproduction in biology #at no point during that did the teacher say that sometimes people are attracted to one another and it makes them feel funny #so when you're writing Grace to hype himself up and get over embarrassment to talk about sex with Rocky...#WHY is the reference point for this that he wouldve done it in school!!#doctor: PROLLY NOT #me when I complain about things just for the sake of complaining #it's just fanfic at the end of the day and this is the most minuscule nitpick I think I've ever made

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I eat burger tulpas like you for breakfast

Here’s old vent art I don’t think I would’ve posted at the time. It doesn’t feel that personal anymore though. Does anyone know this feeling? I can’t quite call it emptiness, because it doesn’t feel like the opposite of fullness, it just felt like nothing. I think?

Im so awful with giving people advice about being embarrassed lol I’ve realized that most of what I offer just boils down to “remove any emotional attachment or interest that you have in this person and then you won’t care what they think anymore!” liikee that’s kinda not how it works for everyone I’m coming to find

nopointinname

Social media accounts (including blogs), are in a particular way just like people.

For every person I have to regularly interact with, my brain creates a persona, a way of being. This happens within hours of meeting a person. Social media accounts and blogs are the same with this. Every one of our accounts or blogs develops a persona that excerpts a force onto us.

Yes this means we often feel controlled by our own social media accounts.

#i low key feel the same way with this account #most of my drafts are just normal things that didn’t feel like they were in character for the blog #which I agree does feel very stupid from 1st person pov #but you could always post something weird and random just to see what happens #the delete button stays winning

I really have to remind myself that this system shit is real and Im not just a terrible person for having my opinions and values shift so extremely at the drop of a hat, I am actually multiple terrible people

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A piece of fanart is blowing up on my main hehe.. and they’re saying “I love this design of the character” hah… little do they know… it was just what I looked like as a fictive… hah ha.. of course it is a good design it’s true to life

So I have muscle spasms all the time yes I complain about this with some frequency but sometimes I get them in continuous clusters and. Well ok bear with me cuz I’ve made it sound like a seizure lol but I’m pretty sure it’s nothing like that. Anyway what I’ve noticed is that it has this feeling of like extra electricity in my body, and I can actually get it to move to a different muscle group if I focus on it. Discovered this when I couldn’t stop turning my head and winking like I just made a 4th wall joke and it annoyed me so I tried to move the energy into my hands instead and I guess that worked somehow. Only a little tho cuz when I stopped thinking hand thoughts my eyes kept winking anyway. #ok #lolrandom

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