leorivr

cruel skies

crying childs

screaming frogs

&

a heart that knows peace

Writing is a challenge.

Though I know, a w comes first

then comes an

"So What Are You Going To Write?"

a question that's more relevant today than ever before.

Everyone who wants to write something can write it now, or at least something close to it (with the help of AI). Even if they don't understand what they ended up writing, so long as it sounds like writing, it should be passable, right?

but

the question has always been relevant to those who've had something to say. To them, the ideas are worth putting in the effort of finding the right words for.

the dictionary has all the same words as you do, so does AI.

yet still, you chose to make some of your own

words

Set them free

My mind told me

the words will find 

Their way

To whoever needs them

Set them free 

Don't worry

The things were easy to give up on 

Because they didn't matter to me?

But maybe they did and I didn't realise or maybe made a bad choice?

Because there were more important things? But the more important things also slipped out of my hands?

Actually I don't know...whatever I think is the truth, is further from the truth.

Truth seems like the sun. I can't get close to it and stare it in the face. I can only keep catching glimpses of it from afar, mostly with some kind of glasses on so it doesn't burn all of my sight.

But the thing is that I don't care about the truth so much now...it's just that I feel like I can't make sense of the nature of the world and it's logics.

I mean...if the things were so easy to put down, why weren't they also easy to pick up again?

don't I know it now

I was only trying to escape

I was only looking for an anti-

---someone who was the opposite

of all that was suffocating

I pushed myself into your way

thinking

adopting another's path

I could make it my own

don't I know it now

I was the one

standing

in my way

then whichever way I went

it was always the wrong way

&

​

if AI is giving you half-baked, hodge-podge results from writers who wrote-like-that, 

and you use that as your first draft or final draft, 

then,

even if you work on that draft, improve it or whatever,

you're essentially having to go through a pile of half-baked, hodge-podge works from writers who wrote-like-that

isn't it better to just find the words for yourself?

much cleaner and plesant?

to not react to things

things that don't come from within me

things others bring

in order to get a reaction out of me

it's trying

& more exhausting

if you let it, the language

can steal your voice

if you let it, the story

If you find yourself asking, “What is writing?”

Is it the putting together of words, sentences, paragraphs, or chapters?

Is it an ability to know and use grammar?

Is it reading 10,000 works of great masters and then writing something similar or different?

Not to get all complicated. But what does “the work of writing” mean at the fundamental level?

I still write, today. Why?

I still write. Using my thoughts, words, and intentions. Even when I don't fully understand what I'm trying to do. Where am I trying to go with this. Why?

Because I can? Because it’s comfortable? Because it’s easier to prompt myself than anyone else? Because I want to say something?

Even if I keep having these thoughts every once in a while. with no answers in sight...

is like

staying aloft

on a raft

riding all waves

while building a boat

is the draft

the tough yet simple task of

I'm a moody astrologer

changing your fate

by my mood

a lens I wear

to see or tell

what makes the future -

your questions

my answers

or

the sisters of fate?

the trick about fortune telling

is only asking,

what'd you believe

trying to listen to my feelings

seek the competitive spirit by looking at other successful writers

instill confidence by looking at works of worse writers

give a large stack of blank pages

unblank those blank pages

go digging for that limiting belief

give an ultimatum

give up on that writing dream

in my garden

like little seedlings I've planted

one too many

all at once

with all their potential

I'm trying to keep up

but the N-P-K

I haven't got enough

rationing

I try to keep them up

until all that's left