JAYDYN.

one of the first times they actually noticed this was back when she was still small, just a few months old. when they were having dinner and it's his turn to feed her as they ate, and his wife—who's his #1 (loving) bully—just couldn't help herself from (lovingly) annoying him.

“are you holding the spoon right?”

“'course i am, i know how to hold a f— a spoon.”

“i'm just saying,” she shrugged. “you've got big fat hands, holding baby spoons can't be easy for someone of your species.”

“‘my spe’—” he scoffed. “oh i know you aren't complainin' 'bout my hands.”

“i wasn't complaining.”

“what's this then? y'think this is flatterin'?”

“yes actually, it's— poop, she's falling asleep.”

they both reached out to hold their chubby baby's lolling head, eyes already fluttering as baby food dribbled out of her mouth.

soft fingers gently drummed on softer cheeks. “baby girl, at least finish your food first—”

“this is your fault.”

she looked up to glare at him. “i'm incapable of doing any wrong, i'm your wife.”

“that makes no fuckin' sense.”

she gasped, lowering her voice to a whisper-shout as she covered the baby's tiny ears. “don't curse in front of the baby!”

he mirrored her lower tone. “then shut up already!”

“you shut up!”

“no, you— she's fuckin' asleep.”

she glanced down to the limp head dozing off in their joined palms, and looked away to stare off into nothing. “this is fucking crazy.”

pro-hero!katsuki and his wife who, on their baby's sleepless nights, learned to stage ‘fights’ just to put her to bed. bc turns out, this baby treated her parents shenanigans as white noise.

she'd been awake for far too long and reached that state where she was too sleepy to function but somehow still couldn't sleep anyway, so she bawled her eyes out and left her parents scrambling to figure out a solution.

his wife gasped, “katsuki!”

“what, woman?” he didn't intend for it to come out so harsh, but his baby's cries were getting to him.

“fight with me.”

“pardon?”

“bicker! bickering! were you the one who ate the last slice of my cake!?”

it took a second, but then it clicked.

“and what about it? what if i did?”

they didn't have any cake in the first place, and honestly they might've gotten a little into the pretend-fighting out of stress (crying babies were so stressful) but whatever heat there was in the moment soon fizzled away with the tiniest, sleepy giggles bubbling in their baby's throat, small hands gently clapping at her parents' distress like she was watching a soap opera or something. crazy fuckin' baby, he thought, holding back an endeared laugh.

eventually, their bickering dwindled as baby's breathing finally started to slow, limbs sprawled out a la starfish as she got comfortable in her crib.

“we got a weird-ass baby.”

his wife giggled. “you think she'd sleep through our divorce?”

he snorted. “like a light.”

laughter was already raking through her body, jelly-fying her limbs enough that she linked their arms and leaned into him for support.

“fighting over custody and she's snoring.”

“she wouldn't give a shit.”

“she'd pick whoever gives her the better bed to sleep through it with.”

“me, obviously.”

she gasped and swatted at his arm. “shut the fuck up, i make more money than you do.”

“stop makin' me sound like i'm broke.” he huffed, turning away from her with the slightest pout forming on his lips. “i'm fuckin' dynamight.”

a grin stretched wide across her face as she brought a hand up to cup his jaw, pulling him in as she stood on her tippy toes to pepper kisses all over his face. “nah, i'm doing that.”

his cheeks warmed under her teasing tone. “shut up.” but he made no effort to push her away—if anything, his hands were instinctively slithering around her waist to hold her steady and closer.

“oh—” kiss. “—great explosion murder god dynamight—” kiss. “—you're so rich—” kiss. “—and hot—” kiss.

“fuck off.”

“—i love you—” kiss. kiss. “—take your pants off.”

“freak.”

pro-hero!katsuki whose household, despite all this, was still mostly quiet. both adults worked demanding jobs, and by the time they're home, they're exhausted. even if his wife had taken a small from the public eye to focus on their baby while he was out hero-ing, she still had a few meetings here and there with execs she didn't like (which meant that bakugo hated them) which wasn't anywhere near as bad in comparison but on top of taking care of the baby, shit was tiring.

“'m home.”

“hi.” she hardly shifted from where she lied on the couch, babykugo sitting on her belly as they watched cartoons together. at the sound of her papa's voice though, she perked up a little, looking over her shoulder and letting out a little whine. “i'm dead. i forgot to cook.”

“that's fine, keep dyin'.” he sighed, tucking away his shoes. “my arms're killin' me, so we'll order in. what do y'want?”

“something with dough.”

“raw dough.”

“close. pizza is okay.”

“shit's not fillin' enough.” at this point, they've honestly given up on self-censoring for the baby. they'll lock in when she really starts to form words. walking into the living room, he slowly approached the couch. “what else?”

she groaned, head thrown back against the armrest. “don't do that to yourself,” they met eyes as he stood behind the couch, leading to baby, craning her neck upwards to see her dad upside down. “every time you say that when we order in, you end up cooking a little something on the side.”

he softened at his daughter's big doe eyes blinking up at him. “hi baby girl—” looked over to wifey, “—an' a salad's not cookin'; it's puttin' shit in a bowl and givin' it a toss.”

“too much armwork for ‘not cooking’.”

“you do it too, 'm—” he looked back to baby, who was now back to being entranced by the movie like he wasn't even there. “she think 'm chopped liver or some shit?”

wifey sighed, resting her arms over her face. “i guess, yeah.”

“i'll blow up the tv.”

“your total carbon footprint is already crazy, please don't worsen it. for my sanity.”

“chooses freakin' tv over her own daddy—” oh, censorship success! “—how's this the bun i put in the oven?”

“i don't know man, you were there when she came out.” adjusting her arms, she looked up at her man. “maybe she'll like you again after you shower 'n kiss your wife.”

he hummed, relenting. as much as he'd love to be the kind of guy who kissed his wife and kid the second he got home, he's particular about outside air. it's routine for him to shower first before he's all over his girls.

“'m waitin' f'r what you want t' eat first so i can shower while we wait.” he placed his hands on his hips. “d'you actually want pizza or just the dough texture?”

“ugh, you know me too well.”

“wraps,” he suggested. “that fusion place with the fat-ass paratha burritos.”

“ooh,” she perked up at that, hands moving to her belly to play with baby's tiny fingers. “that.. yes. i want.”

“great.”

“wow baby, no wonder you're married.”

his brows furrowed as genuine confusion flashed across his face, making her cackle. “dunno how t’ respond t' that.”

baby girl suddenly broke into giggles, startling both her parents as she clapped her tiny hands and lolled around, weak with laughter. wifey was quick to support baby's weight.

the corners of his lips twitched upwards even as he huffed, too weak for his baby's giggles. “movie can't be that funny.”

wifey rolled her eyes, “go shower already.”

“yeah, yeah.”

pro-hero!katsuki who really loves his girls.

☾ — i hate how this is written jsyk. it's basically three horribly-written (for my standards for myself) oneshots in a trenchcoat n an excuse to write out bkg n wifey bickering. BUT I'M DOING MY BESTTT RAHHHH—all that matters is that i wrote it down n put it out. all that matters is that i wrote it down n put it out AUGHHH. DW GANG, i will absolutely give u a PROPER ONESHOT of papatsuki n popstar!wifey eventually. n w ur support, IT WILL BE SOONER !!! pls keep reblogging n commenting n just letting me know how u like my hcs (even if the writing not that good or cohesive) bc it truly gives me motivation to WRITE MOREEE !!!! i fr really need to write a fluff oneshot/drabble bc onfg all i ever write is angst (see also; drunken stupor) aosjsjks anyw i hope u enjoyed n loved my papatsuki, popstar!wifey, and babykugo. we need to name babykugo. my ask box is open 😍

“four. handsome. deliciously so. body and face. rare,” bakugou laughs, boyish and booming, “thanks, babe.”

you feel uncomfortable, perspiration dribbling between your breasts, limbs heavy with exhaustion.

“what is that? what are you reading?”

still bakugou ignores you and continues reading from the paper, “five. successful and ambitious. six. good friend even though he pretends he’s not. protective!! seven. so gentlemanly, holding open doors, paying for dates, very clear on why he likes me.” ruby pupils flicker over to you, “that last one is bare minimum.”

then it clicks, about seven points too late. your head snaps over to him robotically, eyes about to fall out of your head. “where the hell did you find that! stop reading it! stop katsuki!”

you hop up from your seat on your sofa, speed like no other taking over you as you run across the room to grab at the paper in bakugou’s hands. his laugh only booms louder, holding the flimsy sheet in the air over your head as you jump like a child.

“seriously, don’t read anymore!” you shout, trying to hoist yourself up his larger body, using his arms and shoulder as a climbing frame.

nothing about bakugou budges, he just continues reading with the paper in the air.

“it’s getting good, baby!” he laughs, ignoring your jumps and furrowed brows, “eight. listens to me. really listens. makes me feel heard and remembers what i say.”

he looks down at you, whose fingertips are slapping the bottom of the paper. you recognise it all too clearly now. the pink ruled lines, the edges ripped out from one of your old notebooks. your handwriting. “that’s cute. i still listen to you, don’t i?”

“you’re not now! give it back!”

“i’m almost done, two more,” bakugou says, hooking his arm behind your back to keep you locked close to him. you’re both sweaty and sticky. you’ve got no choice but to listen, “nine. cooks. such a good cook! you added five exclamation marks there. ten. fulfils some of my love languages. some?”

“now stop.” you urge. he can’t turn the paper around. he can’t.

bakugou pecks your forehead, his cheeks blushed with all the compliments. he continues skimming the list, rereading it. 

“so this is why you chose to date me, huh?” he looks down at you, pouts his lips, “c'mon gimme a kiss.”

if you just grab it out his hands, he won’t see the other side. with pros always comes—

he stops pouting at you.

“give me the paper. i wrote this all a few years ago!”

“if these are the pros, where’s the cons? you must have done a cons list.” 

you shake your head, side to side. he holds the paper away from you. the opposite side, the list of all your cons, written back at you. you loop out of his arm, trying to reach for it.

he notices you staring, eyes fixated and that’s when he flips the paper around. CONS in big red capital lettering.

“this is private! you weren’t meant to see this, you shouldn’t be snooping in my room!” you squeak but bakugou’s already half down the page, pupils running across every line like he’s in a race.

“one. WILL choose his job over me—,”

“well obviously, your job is to save the world!”

“two. odd relationship with his mother? but apparently it’s better than before.”

“it’s so much better now!”

bakugou’s eyebrows drop now, voice getting lower as he continues, “three. argumentative. argues with EVERYONE. his agency workers, the media and his friends.”

“i understand why you argue with them all now! it makes sense!”

“three. his job is terrifying.”

bakugou looks over to you, solemn narrowed eyes and you don’t have a positive word to say about that.

“it is, sometimes i don’t know if you’ll come home.”

“four. he doesn’t do much else besides work. all his friends are from work.” bakugou pinches his nose bridge, “really? you think that?”

“now i don’t! and i know they’re childhood friends and… and we do things together all the time. i know you love to read, game, you’ve got your lego. i didn’t know all of that then.”

“five. don’t know if my friends and family will understand.” bakugou steps away from you, “the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

you huff on the spot, “this was from when i met you! all they’ve seen of you is shouting and yelling on the television. they didn’t know how lovable you are. how well you treat me.”

bakugou looks at you, then back at the paper. scratches his head. “six. inexperienced with sex but it’s really cute. has never had a girlfriend?”

“but number one pro is that you know how to use it. obviously we’re experienced now, we know everything about each other,” you flick your finger between you and your boyfriend. 

“and the girlfriend comment? i can’t help the fact you’re my first.”

“no, i mean yes i know that. it was just a question as to why. it doesn’t mean anything to me now.”

“but it was a factor in whether you wanted to be my girlfriend,” he states.

“well, yeah,” you drawl, “i thought maybe there was a reason as to why. that’s all.”

bakugou raises his eyebrows, looks back at the sheet, “seven. doesn’t always have time for me. travels a lot for work.”

“that hasn’t changed.” bakugou grunts. it’s something he knows you struggle with while dating him. it’s even been a conversation you’ve had a few times throughout your relationship. quality time. you want to spend more time with him but he simply can’t. 

you sigh, grabbing his chin between your fingers so he looks directly at you. his eyes are half lidded, cheeks red and exhausted from the negativity and heat. “we’ve been through this. i’m still gonna stick by you, everything i love about you means more than all the things i find difficult.”

he takes your palm away from your face and squeezes it. but you can tell he’s feeling off. “the last one. eight, he’s surrounded by beautiful women all the time.”

“you’re with celebrities, pro heroes, socialites a lot,” you shrug, “that was jealousy on my part, nothing to do with you.”

“i don’t give a fuck about any of that.”

you nod sharply, “i know! i wrote this a while ago, two years even? a lot has changed.”

bakugou sighs from the pit of his stomach, then flings his head back in a huff. “fuck, baby.” he groans.

then he looks down at you, looking up at him.

“just wanna put it out there, that was private, you weren’t meant to see that, my opinions have now changed and i’m sure you had a mental pro con list for me. i just wrote mine down.”

bakugou folds the paper, “yeah, yeah, i get it. you hate my job that much, huh? it covered half of the fuckin’ cons.

“i also said i liked you were successful and ambitious.” you sit on the back of the sofa, crossing your arms. 

bakugou mirrors you standing, crossing his arms too. “but nothing about my job has changed since we’ve got together.”

you groan, leaning your head on your shoulder, “katsuki, i think you’re making problems out of nothing here.”

“you made a list of the problems with datin’ me.” he frowns, holding the folded paper between two fingers.

“and a list of the reasons why i wanted to date you. obviously the good reasons won if i’m with you now.” you glare at him with a sharp tone.

he begins to pace around the room, paper still in hand. a terrible sign. you watch as sweat trickles down his skin, body flush with heat.

“but, babe. the problems you’ve had with me from before we were dating are still problems now. i still don’t have time for you, you still are terrified every time i’m minutes late from a mission, you don’t think i’d choose you over my job and you don’t think i do anything but work.”

you moan aloud, “and i still want you despite that all. i get the world needs you, heck, i need you if i come across a villain. i don’t hate you for being a hero.”

he stops behind you, on the other side of the sofa, “i don’t want you to resent me when you realise you could have been with someone who does have more time for you, isn’t obsessed with their job, can put you first and doesn’t scare you.”

you hop off the sofa. leaning your forehead on his collarbone. “katsuki. i wouldn’t be here if i didn't want to be. i love you. i choose you everyday. i don’t want to argue with you.”

bakugou doesn’t touch you. there’s a shake to his voice, “i’m sorry i’m not better. i’m gonna try to be. just wait for me, fuck, maybe when i’m slower and the younger lot take over, they’ll need me less. it’s just now—,”

“it’s okay. you have time for me right now but you wanna argue with me," you pout up at him.

“you did put that i’m argumentative,” he looks away from you as your hands link around his neck. 

“look at me.”

shiny lava red pupils find you. you ground him, takes him out of the what ifs and the failures of his past and places him in the present with you. 

“i have dated bakugou katsuki for two years and i love him so much. i love how kind and generous he is, always putting his loved ones first. how he dedicates his life and body to saving the world. how even if he’s tired from a long week of working, he still comes over to cook me a three course meal because he wants to see me eat his food. who was so open and willing to change for me. to change his routines and learn my body. who is argumentative because he wants to make things right. who wanted so hard for my family and friends to love him and manages to see his mother once a week just to check up on her.”

you search in both his eyes and he’s listening, he always is.

“i can write an updated list for you, if you want.”

he shakes his head, stuffs his forehead into your neck and slowly pushes you down into the sofa. you laugh, his hands plastered into your waist as his body crushes you in the plush cushions ever so slightly.

“‘m sorry. i shouldn’t have read it. even though i enjoyed the pros.” he muffles, lips tickling your skin.

you tap his shoulder. “you shouldn’t have but it’s okay. i still need you to get my fan. it’s hot.”

“promise you’ll tell me if you want somethin’ to change between us. i’m not wakin’ up one day to you leavin’ me for a reason right under my nose.” he urges and you can see him pleading. the desperation for you to agree.

“promise. now you promise me.”

“course i promise. i couldn’t even fill out ten reasons as to why i hate you.”

“i didn't say i hate you. and sure you can. you hate my cold feet. you hate how i moan about my job. you hate how i hate your job. you hate how i always want a massage. you hate how i wait until the last minute when you’re tucked up in bed for you to get me a glass of water. you hate how i’m indecisive for what i want for my birthdays and—,”

bakugou sits up, “i don't hate any of that shit. love listenin’ to you and half that shit is cute as hell.”

you pout, “you hate when i wear low cut tops out—,”

he frowns, “that’s foreplay, baby. you let me suck your tits after to make me happy. couldn’t give a shit what you wear.”

“how about how protective my friends are? and the fact i tell them everything?”

bakugou shrugs, “you deserve friends that love you that much and that you can tell everythin’.”

“i get snappy when i’m running late or too much is going on or i’m hot.”

with that bakugou gets up. your fan. though not without hovering over you to give you a peck. then another. you press your soft lips against his though you don’t open up because then you will get even hotter and snappy.

he pulls off you and rises from the sofa, “that makes sense, baby. you’re stressed and uncomfortable.”

you roll your eyes, “stop being so understanding!”

he walks towards your bedroom, but not without turning around to look at you. his fingers grip the door frame, “i love you.”