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Everybody wants to know themselves but weāre too scared Weāre still figuring out

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April 16, 2019
April 16th, 2019 will go down in my life history as the greatest day of my life. Thatās because on April 16th, 2019, I saw SWMRS on their Berkeleyās on Fire America tour, in Detroit, Michigan.
I got the tickets for my 16th birthday, and my dad was supposed to be the one to take me. But, a week or two before the show we changed that to my friend Abbey (@juicebox_god). I was ecstatic. I got to be with someone who enjoyed the music I liked, and not my dad (who canāt stand SWMRS). I was counting down the days.
Abbey and I planned to leave right after school so we could get good spots, and boy, did we. We were right at the barricade in front of the bassist(s). I was so excited to be there. My heart was bursting out of my chest.
The line wasnāt bad. The temperature was nice, and I got to meet a friend I had made by being part of the stan community (@jxmesgabriel). We were only out there for maybe 2 ½ hours, 3 at the most. It was so much fun just being out there with people who were there for the same reason I was, and who loved the same band I do.
We got inside, got up to barricade, and then played the waiting game. Then, Destroy Boys got up.
Iāve been listening to Destroy Boys for while ever since two of their songs got recommended to me. I stream B.F.F. almost every morning because it pumps me up and gets me ready for the day. They KILLED their set. It was absolutely amazing. Every aspect of it. The playing was amazing. Alexiaās vocals were spot on, and she has so much character and energy in her performances. Vi was the cutest thing, and she looked like she was having so much fun. Abbey and I were totally geeking out over her. Falynās playing is so wonderful, and Narsaiās drumming is stellar. The performance was all around so amazing. During Vixen (if Iām remembering the song names correctly) they opened up a girls only pit, and I went for it. It was my first time moshing ever, and I loved it so much. Between the sets, we went to the bathroom and youāll never guess who we saw.
Alexia!
We talked to her, and sheās genuinely the sweetest. I told her how much her music means to be and inspires me as a songwriter. I made a joke how I was bummed that they didnāt play B.F.F. and she started singing it! It was totally wild. My heart is still beating like crazy thinking about it. Sheās such a sweetheart.
Before I talk about Beach Goonsā set, I would like to point out the fact that I am in LOVE with Pablo Cervantez (their lead singer). I canāt quite explain why, I just am. Anyways, their set was sick. I loved every second of it. They were so funny. Hearing Reservoir Dawgs live was killer, but Vatos Tristes was INSANE. Thatās my favorite song of theirs, so hearing it live was an out-of-body experience. Iām not ashamed to admit that I was staring at Pablo a good 85% of the time. I told ya, Iām in love. The drummer and bassist crack me up. I could (and might) write a whole article on how kicka$$ Pablo is. This is not that article.
When the set ended, it occured to me that SWMRS was up next. I got so emotional. I tried not to cry because I was totally dehydrated (until security gave out water bottles, props to The Majestic Theatre in Detroit). Then, they came on. Seb, Joey, Jakob, Max, Cole. All of them. In the same room as me. It was insane. I swear to you, in that moment the whole word disappeared. They got set up and boom. The familiar riff of Trashbag Baby. I was on cloud nine, and even now have yet to fall off. They went through the set, with more iconic moments being me making that āokayā hand symbol (š) at Seb (the bassist) and consequently getting to punch him in the arm after the set, getting to see Hannah performed in a new way, and Cole singing Old Town Road during Hellboy (it was hysterical). But the entire set was just insane. Thereās no other way to describe it. I canāt even put into words how absolutely amazing it was.
As I said earlier, Seb hopped down after the set and let me punch him. He gave us all high fives and I held on a little too long.
At the merch table, we saw Vi from Destroy Boys. Sheās such a cutie. We also met Beach Goons, and that was so cool. I was at a loss for words, which sucks because I really wanted to talk to them and let them know how much they mean to me, but I guess I got starstruck
ĀÆ\_(ć)_/ĀÆ
They kicked everyone out of the venue before we had the chance for a meet and greet, so I gave the little letters I made for the boys to their merch gal (who is such a sweetheart, by the way) and we headed out. I was on the top of the world.
From moshing for the first time to meeting some of my biggest inspirations in life, April 16th, 2019 was the best day of my life. All thanks to some killer Cali bands.
The SWM Team
Max and Cole Becker, Joey and Jakob Armstrong, and Seb Mueller are the young men who make up the band SWMRS. These Oakland natives, with their punk rock spirit and love for their fans, have created quite an army for themselves on Twitter. From Seb's semi ridiculous tweets to their wisecracking fan Nayelli (@nayelliabarca), the Twitter community surrounding the band is full of laughs, but also a lot of love. The group's fans have an overwhelming amount of appreciation for the boys, and what the band and their music has done for them.
ā(The album) Berkeley's on Fire was a total 180 from Drive North and I love it so much, it shows how this year especially, everything is changing for the better and we as the youth should take back the power that has been denied from us forever. Itās inspiring and insightful and it just makes me insanely happy and hopeful for what theyāre going to do in the future.ā -Nina, @dyouhaveacoffee
āSWMRS to me is about revival, energy and making a difference. SWMRS encouraged me to pick myself up and create something when I didnāt think I couldā -Dee, @herecomesdomino
āSWMRS are my home base , the place I know Iāll always be safe and loved and free to be myself. Having them in my life means having people who are always with me, keeping me from feeling lonely because with them Iām never alone.ā -Jillian, @apunkrockmisfit
But not all the love is directed towards the band. The fans have intermingled and made countless group chats and close friendships, bonding over their favorite songs and favorite members of the band. These chats can provide a safe space for some through the hardships of real life.
āThe fan community has always supported meāand we always have each otherās backs!ā -Dee, @herecomesdomino
ā(The community) means having friends from all over the world to talk about SWMRS with, yes, but also to get advice from and talk about important issues with, and sometimes just being plain weird and having fun with! The SWMRS community is welcoming and loving and a wonderful thing to be a part of, and makes me feel like I have a place where I belong!ā -Jillian, @apunkrockmisfit
āThe community is just full of great, friendly people and I found some really good friends in itā -Silvia, @mrsporkson
Whether you have your own āstanā account or just watch from the outside, there's truly no denying that this community is unique. With that, here's a story from someone who found themself caught up in the storm that is SWMRS.
āI first heard a SWMRS song in March 2017.
This song was āHannah,ā the one about the girl from southern California. I had seen it on a playlist that Pete Wentz shouted out. What attracted me to this song the most was that its title was my name - Hannah. It isnāt the most beautiful song in the world, I can agree. But, it was interesting. Unlike anything I had ever heard before. And, most of all, it made me like my first name for once in my life. It gave a personality to it, some other dimension to my incredibly common name. About a month later, one of my friends approached me about something theyād heard on the radio - SWMRS was performing a free show about 15 miles away from my town in August. Let me tell you, it took a lot of convincing to get my parents to go for me going to an outdoor show in Providence. But, it worked. I was seeing my newly discovered favorite band. At the actual show, I got center barricade, was given a pick, and met Cole. Awesome, right? I even wrote an A-earning narrative essay about that night. Itās been 2 years since I first listened to SWMRS, and theyāre just about the best thing I have in my life. Without SWMRS, I honestly donāt know who I would be today. They taught me to love my name. They taught me that being a DIY musician is okay. Above all, they practically gave me the soundtrack to my life
-Hannah, @myamericanbrain
SWMRS has obviously made quite an impact on their fans. Be sure to check out those mentioned in this post, and Lemon Jam's Twitter, @lemonjamblog
Responses have been edited for clarity
Weekly Wrap-Up: 3/25-3/31
Hey yāall! Every Sunday Iāll be publishing a list of songs to finish off the week, and this is the first one!
Love song: Hey Now by The Regrettes
Fighter song: Berkeleys on Fire by SWMRS
Dancing Jam: Young by Orchards
Show tune: What Could Possibly go Wrong from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Lesser Known Jam: Let Me In by Allrite
Sad Song: Declutter by Illuminati Hotties
Oddball: Baddest Motherf*cker in the Beehive by Delta Riggs
Enjoy šš¶š¤
Why I love Amanda Palmer
āNecks are cracking sideways, hit me from the back side, I am on the white side, you are on the black sideā
One of my earliest memories- and one of the most random memories I have- is dancing around to Gravity by The Dresden Dolls, mumbling the words until the whole white side/black side part, because that was really the only thing my 3 year old mind could comprehend at the time. All I knew back then was that I liked the way it sounded, and I loved to dance to this song. 13 years later, Iām still jamming to that song, and dancing with the same skill level my younger self had.
Amanda Palmer has been a very constant voice in my household. My parents love her music, my dad introducing my mom to the Dresden Dolls. When Palmer broke off into her own solo music, we stuck around and have been enjoying her music since.
I started listening to her on my own when Theatre is Evil was relatively new. I remember listening to Olly Olly Oxen Free on my little Disney MP3 player every single day on the bus. As much as my 10 year old self overplayed that song, it still remains my favorite off the record. Coming in a close second is Trout Heart Replica, and third would be The Killing Type. This time of my life was really when I started listening to music on my own, rather than in my parentās car, and Iām glad Theatre is Evil is one of the first albums I indulged in.
2014. Her song Ukulele Anthem inspired my mom to buy her own little 20 dollar purple ukulele, one which I was not supposed to touch. I still did though, and eventually showed my mom I learned how to play the song that started it all. Since she, in her own words, has no musical talent, gave me the ukulele. I learned so many songs on that little thing. When I was 13 I got another uke, which got broken when some kid with the IQ of the end piece in a loaf of bread pushed me. My parents were angry, but they got me another one. Iām forever grateful for that, because now itās my main ukulele. A mint green Makala named Collin Johnny, after the Greenwood brothers from Radiohead. My purple one is named Amanda Dorothy, after Amanda Palmer and Dodie Clarke. I learned all of Amanda Palmer Goes Down Under, and still know most of those songs.
Then, 2019 came. There Will be no Intermission dropped. The first song I heard was Voicemail for Jill, and I sat and cried. I cried a LOT for someone who hasnāt had to experience an abortion, which was what the song is about. The raw emotion and heart put into that song is truly amazing. Then, I finally listened to the whole album. I listened to Machete over and over and over again. Itās a beautiful and powerful song about Amanda and her late best friend, Anthony. The song reminds me of my belated friend, who committed suicide in January of 2017. Though itās a different situation, it still makes me think of her, and gives me some hope and helps me keep our memories alive through music.
On March 21st I was lucky enough to get to see Palmer perform live on her solo tour. She started off the show with her song Judy Blume, and immediately tears were pouring out of my eyes. I was seeing my role model play live. It was crazy. She told us stories of being a teenager, abortions, visiting a prison, and about her kid. We got a really emotional story about her first abortion and all that, then she played her really fun song Oasis. The subject of the song definitely isnāt fun, but itās totally a rockin song. That concert made me experience a range of emotions, and it was beautiful.
Then, she played Machete. I cried every last tear out of my body. It was amazing. When the song ended, it was silent except for my mom thanking her and me completely breaking down sobbing. I still cannot believe that moment was real. She stood up when she was playing, she got so into it, and I was just completely awe-struck.
She told us a story about how she had a miscarriage in her hotel room in a freezing cold night. It was very sad, but she followed this up by playing Let it Go from Frozen. It was the funniest thing that Iāve ever seen. My parents were cracking up, and people were looking at them like psychos, but they didnāt seem to care. It was HILARIOUS, especially given I have a younger sister who would literally play that movie 3 times a day for a solid year once we got it on DVD.
That concert also gave me a chance to meet a very sweet lady from Planned Parenthood, as they had a booth set up there. Emily, if youāre reading this, thank you for existing. You rock. I got some cool PP gear and proudly wear my pins on my backpack walking around my high school in my relatively conservative hometown.
So basically, Amanda Palmer changed my life. Sheās super open, emotional, and quite frankly does not care what people think of her, and thatās very admirable to me. Sheās one of the reasons Iām able to fight for what I care about, because thatās what she does and she makes me feel like I can do the same.
Here are some songs Iād reccomend by her
Machete
Drowning in the Sound
Another Year
Olly Olly Oxen Free
Trout Heart Replica
The Killing Type
Strength Through Music
In My Mind
Bad Wine and Lemon Cake
Also, if you can, I highly reccomend reading her book The Art of Asking and checking out her TED talk, which can be found on YouTube.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch ⢠No registration required ⢠HD streaming
A little hello
Hey everyone! My name is Magdelene Rose, and Iām 16. Music has always been one of the more important things in my life, along with family, friends and theatre.
My whole life, music has helped me through my most troubling times. Middle school is the earliest I can clearly remember, where Iād sing my heart out to Emilie Autumn, The Dresden Dolls, Radiohead, and your typical middle school emo stuff- Twenty One Pilots, Panic! and Halsey. Music helped me when I was getting out of an abusive relationship- With Confidenceās āBetter Weatherā was on repeat daily for months before and after that ended. Anarbor helped me make new friends who I love unconditionally, and SWMRS did the same. SWMRS and The Regrettes also turned me into the no-nonsense, kickbutt kinda person I am today. Amanda Palmer completely changed my writing style and is the reason I play ukulele. Just to name a few artists. Music has always been what drowned out the unbearable silence that left too much space for bad thoughts to creep in.
Along with listening, I also write my own jams. Theyāre on my YouTube page Magdelene Rose if anyone wants to check those out.
I started Lemon Jam so I could write about the music I like, and try to get other people into these awesome artists. And who knows, maybe make a few friends along the way.
:) šš¶š¤
-Maggie