Resident Tomfool

hey kids, are you too broke to go and hang out with your friends? no problem! with our app you can sell all your personal belongings and sacrifice your personhood so you can afford that meal at that restaurant that just got revamped to get rid of all the bright colors in their logo! Don't bother with that stuffy old thrift store, we're so much cooler! isn't growing up fun? you can get rid of everything and have money instead! #depop

being neurodivergent in an office is like being given IQ puzzles in a language you don’t speak, meanwhile being neurodivergent in food service is being able to read people’s minds and wondering why the fuck nobody else can

i've got my father's tits and my mother's love for violence. let's pop this blowcicle stand

Chekhov (me) trying to remember all the plot points he (me) needs to bring back up in his (my) short story (fanfic): Who left all these guns lying around???

i've got my father's terrible curse and my mothers heavy burden. they used to belong to my grandparents--heirlooms, you see. I would have also gotten the dreary old mansion they used to live in, but the stipulations in the deed say you have to be haunted and eternally damned in order to inherit the property. Yeah its a shame, but im sure my brother will let us visit, you know how he is about hosting dinner parties. a pity people keep dying at them, they're usually quite pleasant before that happens.

who up drinking macked and cheeese!!!!!