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knownhag

jizzhands

you know that whole “what would you do if a band member sat down next to you on a plane” I think I would blare his band’s music in my headphones to see if he noticed

halcyconian

And then casually tap their shoulder and be like, “dude have u heard of this band?”

pancakessexual

I just got a wrong number text from a stranger that said: “hey can we use ur pool there’s a moose in ours”

#welcometocanada

I’ve never received such a funny text in my life I can’t breathe

pancakessexual

UPDATE: I told them “yes if you send a pic” & they sent me tHIS

branthonys

uhhhhwillow

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regretorb

when ur mom comes into ur room and u have to pretend that u are studying quick

hemingay

legit

oomshi

the bible said adam AND eve so i slept with them both

animateglee-archived

Well it’s the Bible, not the Straightble, I’m just following the book.

marcholasmoth

I’M GONNA CRY

bagelbarton

This is my favourite photo in existence.

daleyprophet

Mean Girls meets: Harry Potter (part 26)

methhomework

this is my favorite twitter account

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Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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krvsty

peacocks look like they speak french

animal-factbook

During its free time, kangaroos enjoy weight lifting and occasionally you can spot them at body building contests across Australia.

squigglewitch

public school @ the end of the year be like

sealedbeastnue

a special message for a very special someone

marcholasmoth

hey

you

dont you dare think

for even a second

that nobody saw you

when you decided this waS AN ACCEPTABLE WAY TO PARK YOUR VEHICLE BECAUSE I SAW IT OKAY I FUCKING SAW IT YOUR CRAPPY PARKING JOB IS ON GOOGLE MAPS IN FRONT OF THE ENTIRE WORLD

how did you find this

thestoutorialist

CONSTANT VIGILANCE

portgasdace71-deactivated201608

LITERALLY JUST PASSED BATMAN

dbriere-deleting-deactivated201

oneknightincamelot

No one’s above the law

Not even Batman

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Watch Anya Live on Cam

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.

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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming

aurevoir-mes-amis-deactivated20

I went to a party once and everyone was supposed to pitch in some money to buy adderall. I had never tried or even heard of it but I was young and stupid so I gave them 20 bucks. Later on, after we all took it, everybody was going crazy and having a good time and I was just sitting on the couch quietly so I googled ‘adderall’ on my phone and learned that it’s used to treat ADHD.

I have ADHD.

I paid 20 dollars to calm down.

lacorgi

mattonious

give em the ol’ razzle dazzle

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