The Man—a Myth; the Legendary Gal

This is a miraculous story of how Esther, a Jewish woman, becomes queen to the King of Persia, placing her in a position to save the Jewish people of the kingdom. 

Prince Haman issued a decree to exterminate the Jews, Queen Esther reveals to the king that she is also a Jew, and exposes why Haman made the decree. The King’s love for her saves the Jewish people. 

Without the eunuchs, we wouldn’t know Esther, she would not have been queen nor would she have had the information needed to expose Haman to the king. 

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Before we get to the eunuchs, let’s discuss Mordecai. Esther 2:7 says “And he brought up Hadassah, that is, Esther, his uncle’s daughter: for she had neither father nor mother, and the maid was fair and beautiful; whom Mordecai, when her father and mother were dead, took for his own daughter.”

However, the Hebrew says “And it was that he nursed Hadassah.” The Ben Ish Chai says that Mordechai did this in an attempt to keep her secret – even from the nurse-maids.

Jews have shared a tradition for 1600 years that Mordecai’s body changed, his breasts produced milk so that he could suckle Esther. This midrash teaching subverts gender roles & gender biology. Gender is fluid.

Would we think differently of the story of Esther if we read Mordecai as genderfluid or as a trans-man?

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I think a little background information is needed about what is a eunuch. 

Eunuchs are men incapable of reproduction. In some cases this is due to a birth defect or an accident. In many ancient kingdoms it was common for some males to be castrated so they could serve in the king’s home. 

Castrated males were thought to be more subdued and pacified, making them more pliant servants. Castration normally took place before puberty because it would keep the sex drive from fully developing, and this made eunuchs ideal to be harem guards because it was believed women would be safe around them.  

Another reason eunuchs were favored for work in palaces, eunuchs did not have a family to provide for or a need to provide an inheritance, therefore it was thought they’d be more loyal to the king. 

Chamberlains were trusted eunuchs used for duties close to the king. They also could be eunuchs who had risen to the rank of a chief servant or placed in a political role. 

Despite the opportunity to work in palaces and among influential people, oftentimes individuals didn’t choose to become a eunuch. A conquering nation would take some of the pre-pubescent boys of the people it conquered and castrate them, in many instances these were children of conquered nobles. Eunuchs looked and sounded different from men and women and stood out. 

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Did you know there are a dozen eunuchs who are named in the Book of Esther? At least one appears in every chapter of the book! 

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This story begins in the 3rd year of the reign of King Ahasuerus (you probably know him as King Xerxes). The king holds a week-long party for his princes, nobles, and servants. The text makes a point of saying there was a LOT of drinking of wine going on.

After a week of this partying, the drunk king sent his seven chamberlains to summon Queen Vashti to come before him and his guests, and to have her wearing her royal crown so he can show her off to the men. According to Jewish tradition, she’s to wear the crown and nothing else. 

Given this is a room of drunk powerful men, I’m sure she worried what may happen if a beautiful, naked woman entered their mist. Queen Vashti refused, and the King was wroth. Worried what would happen when news of this spread around the kingdom and wives learned it’s okay to disobey their husband, the King had Vashti deposed, meaning either executed or banished, for her refusal, and a royal decree sent to all the provinces that men rule in their house and women obey.

Harriet Beecher Stowe called Vashti’s disobedience the “first stand for woman’s rights.” Many view Queen Vashti has having dignity and self-respect for saying, “I’m not going to dance for you and your drunk pals.”

Unfortunately this act of brave defiance is usually skipped over when talking about this story

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With Queen Vashti gone, the king ordered all the fairest maidens be gathered and he’d choose one of them to be his new queen, this is a beauty contest. 

Uncle Mordecai brought Esther to the palace per the king’s order. Hegai, a eunuch, who was in charge of the women, liked Esther and was kind to her. He gave seven of the maidens to Esther to serve her and put them in the most favorable space in the palace’s house for the women. Hegai even tells Esther what to bring with her when it’s time to perform for the king as his potential next Queen, and the king chose her.

Mordecai worried about Esther and everyday he’d walk by the palace’s house of the women. One day he overheard two chamberlains plotting against the king (an example that eunuchs were close enough to the King to be able to threaten his life) and revealed it to Esther who notified the king. 

A man named Haman was elevated above all the princes of the realm and wanted everyone to bow to him, but Mordecai refused as Mordecai only bowed to God. This so enraged Haman that he told the king that the Jews were an unruly people who refused to obey the laws and were causing trouble across the kingdom. The king granted Haman’s request to have the Jews destroyed. 

Esther used Hatach, a chamberlain, to convey messages back and forth between her and her uncle, which is how she learned the truth behind Haman’s vendetta against the Jews. 

When Esther revealed to the king that she was also a Jew and exposed Haman’s reasons for wanting to destroy the Jewish people, it was the chamberlain Harbonah who suggested hanging Haman on the very gallows which had been prepared for Mordecai’s hanging. 

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While they served in palaces and had some level of access to powerful people and information, eunuchs were servants and endured humiliating and painful experiences. In the Book of Esther they often seem to empathize with others who are vulnerable. I wouldn’t be surprised if the 2 chamberlains who were plotting against the king were doing so with good cause. 

While they don’t fit our modern definitions of LGBTQIA, they were definitively considered “other” in their time. Often they were thought of as different from men or women, we might say they were a non-binary gender and a sexual minority. Eunuchs offer us a chance to discuss otherness in the Bible and non-gender conforming people. The Book of Esther names twelve eunuchs. 

Gender non-conforming people in many cultures have made contributions but sadly the historical record usually ignores or erases them. Given the biblical history of eunuchs who are especially prominent in this story, why is there such resistance to accepting gender non-conformists in our church and world? The inclusion of eunuchs who are heroes in this story challenges the idea they should be excluded and marginalized from the religious community.  

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Many times we see allies who can access power, they go out and talk for us, share their thoughts and opinions about us and our positions. One thing about this scriptural story is how the eunuchs generously share their privilege with Esther and teach her how to use it. 

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Next time you have the opportunity to speak on Esther, whether as a talk, a participant in Sunday School, or performing a skit, let’s not overlook the gender-variant sexual minorities all over the pages, let’s go out of our way to include the eunuchs.

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Now let’s focus on Esther. The essence of her story is that fear and unease can easily force a person into a ‘closet.’ She believes secrecy will protect her, that’s something the queer community can relate to. 

In order to fulfill the plan, Esther must “come out.” This was difficult for her, she was hesitant to reveal her identity. She fasted and prayed for the strength and courage to do so. 

By “coming out,” Esther is saving others. Instead of the Jews being a nameless mass of despised people, they now have a face, and this changes how the King feels about them. When family, neighborhoods, workplaces and others learn the LGBTQ+ community has a face of someone they know, it can change how they feel about this group of people. Our stories have the power to change social attitudes and challenge the perceived threats of the queer community. By coming out, we’re like Esther, not just saving ourselves but also saving others. 

Book of Mormon musical fans are some of the worst offenders because they fetishize our missionaries (TEENAGE VOLUNTEERS), but would never dream of setting foot in a sacrament meeting, and that's if they even believe we're real.

But nooooooo, you can't cultural appropriate Mormons because they're too white and Christian, nevermind that historically both of those groups have rejected us, with mainstream Christians still calling us heretics and heathens in the big '26. Nevermind that that view erases the contributions and struggles of people like Jane Manning James, Elijah Abel, and the Genesis Group, to name a few.

I seldom post stuff related to my religion for two reasons: 1. I don't want to be perceived as proselyting, because that's not my intention, and 2. when you post something like that publicly, you open yourself up possibly receiving tons of hate. The latter has increasingly reinforced #1 over the years.

People have always perceived us as some kind of "weird" or "other." There has always been misinformation out there, people who profit off of that misinformation, or people who think they know more than they actually do. That isn't new. But shows like Secret Lives, and social media have basically magnified all that into a morbid, parasocial obsession that's, quite frankly, yet another example of peak internet brain rot.

Talking to these people, you would think that our entire history can be summed up by "con man, polygamy, child brides, and racism" and that our culture is just "mind control, creepy old white dudes, tradwives, soaking and dirty sodas."

Let me tell you, as someone who grew up well before the internet blew up into what it is now (who's lived across the US, known members from around the world, gone through periods of inactivity, multiple faith crises, and has in fact done plenty of her own research pre-2013 gospel topics essays) I cannot begin to describe how exhausting it is to interact with people who think like this. Even if you try to correct them on something that's just objectively factually incorrect, oh no no no no, that doesn't matter. You can't be trusted because you're still brainwashed. Nothing you say, do, or think is born out of genuine belief, lived experience, or critical thought. No, apparently, they know better than you, and think they can pathologize almost anything you do because they're more enlightened than you for... I don't know... listening to some true-crime style podcast on cults, watching Alyssa Grenfell or whatever's on Hulu these days, reading anonymous horror stories from reddit, looking at 19th century tabloids about how awful the mormons were, etc, accepting all of that at face value, and then calling it "research."

Never mind how sensationalized and exploitative the true crime media ecosystem is, even just generally. Never mind that in literally no other topic would "reading stuff on reddit" be considered objective research. Never mind that the whole concept of "brainwashing" itself is pseudoscience that's long since been debunked. Never mind that the word "cult" has become so loaded with prejudice, that there is a reason why you don't see a lot of "cult studies" in the primary scientific literature, and that the sort of rhetoric you see spread by self-proclaimed "cult experts" has its roots in a white-evangelical moral panic from the 1970s. Yes, even Steven Hassan who came up with the BITE model (which is not even peer reviewed btw) got his start in abusive deprogramming methods that were born from that era. Yes, even Alyssa Grenfell will unknowingly (or knowingly, honestly sometimes it's hard to tell with her) regurgitate talking points from that era too.

They don't bother to try and deconstruct any of that, but then have the audacity to try and lecture me about how I'm stupid for not deconstructing... which, in this context, can basically be translated into "Your perspective on your own mormon upbringing, aka your own lived experience, is only valid insofar as you stop being mormon."

And this isn't even getting into the quiet racism this crowd exhibits too. Seriously, they'll go on and on about how racist mormons are, but let me tell you... the volume of nasty, patronizing white-savior comments I see coming from these same people whenever they find a POC Latter-day Saint on social media is astounding. Again, talking to these "experts" who've allegedly done tons of research on us, you'd think all mormons were white until recently, and that's just not true. Even with the priesthood/temple ban (which yes, I agree, is a horrible stain on our history that should never have happened), there have always been people of color within our church. Pretending like they weren't there and/or minimizing their voices, or acting like they can't make their own informed choices about what religion they want to identify with is literally a form of erasure, stop it!!!

Great dialogue can come from radical emotional honesty. But in most real conversations, people

dodge questions

answer indirectly

lie (badly)

change the subject

crack jokes to avoid serious answers

lie (convincingly)

say half of what they mean

tell the truth but get so anxious/angry/defensive others now think they're lying

If your dialogue feels unnatural, it might be because everyone is saying exactly what they think, or articulating their thoughts too well. Try letting characters hide things instead.

people don’t always speak in full sentences,

slang can change depending on age range, demographic, etc. &

using myself as an example, im transfem and face transphobia, misogyny, and transmisogyny because of that. but im also white, and the privilege i have from that isnt erased by the fact im also an oppressed minority.

Also, the kiss was a big deal not just because it was gay but because the trans actress was HIV positive. They wanted to show the world that you can't contract HIV just from kissing someone. Bear in mind, the AIDS crisis was still fresh on people's minds in the 90s.

Japanese: Samui desu ne?

my teachers: its like a, a little rise at the end of a sentence, to show that you are seeking a response, while not warranting the -ka particle which would make it a proper question.

me: ok. i guess i get that??

this post: its like saying “innit?” 

I HAVE FOUND MY FAVOURITE POST ON THE INTERNET