One year ago, at that time, I was at the airport. I also was in the closet. I had left my BF of 10 years a few months before, confused and scared because I couldnāt do it anymore and I just wasnāt sureif it was because of him or because it was aĀ āhimā. I had started online dating to talk to girls. I wasnāt sure what I was expecting, probably just felt like it would be nice to talk to people who can understand me, as no one around me knew anything. Even though I have gay friends, I wasnāt ready to come out, as I was trying to figure stuff out about myself first.Ā
I met a few girls, only online, which were really nice. But I never felt anything really in particular. I would find them really pretty and attractive, but I couldnāt feelĀ āitā. I was 25, been in only one relationship for 10.5 years, 9 of them being a long distance. I just didnāt know if I could still find someone, and fall in love.
But then, I met Her. I was in France, she was in Austria. I didnāt speak German and she didnāt speak French. We were speaking English. We matched on OkCupid in December 2019. We talked for a few days and then she disappearedā¦ I was really sad, because I had been ghosted before and I was affraid it was happening again. But she came back, and we exchanged numbers and started talking on whatsapp. And we never stopped talking ever since. I ordered my plane tickets in January 2020, the trip was planned from the 6th of March till the 17th of March.
We all know what happened to the World in March 2020. But for me, it was when my world completely changed, for the better. I landed in Vienna at noon. She was late to pick me up, which was really funny because one of the first thing she told me about her was that she was always late. I was texting while waiting and suddenly I saw someone standing next to me. I was always really shy, but when I raised my head and I saw her for the first time, I couldnāt help but to hug her.
ā you owe me 20 minutesĀ ā
I said, laughing. We hugged for a really long time. We donāt really know what this is. We flirted a bit on whatsapp but we didnāt want to do anything more before seeing each other. We didnāt talk about it, we just felt this is how it was suppose to be. 20mn later, we were in the train and she grabbed my hand, saying she didnāt expect me to be that pretty and I felt better than I ever did.
My trip was suppose to last for 11 days. 3 days before my plane, it got canceled. Corona is here. Everything closes, no one can travel anymore. We are THRILLED. My parents donāt understand why Iām not freaking out about it and not calling the French Ambassy to be taken back to my country.
I ended up staying three months. I eventually had to go back to work. My contract was ending in July, and despite my boss almost begging me to stay, I said no.
I came out to everyone during those seven weeks I was back home. And then I told them I was leaving.
My girlfriend and I came back home for Christmas, together. After years of hearing my family say things likeĀ āwhy would the gay want to get married or have children?ā, hearing my mom happily sayingĀ āHi girls!ā as we passed the door was the happiest I felt in a long time.
One year later, on the 6th on March 2021, as I am writing those lines, she is sitting in the room with me, and everytime I look at her, I still feel the butterflies in my stomach and the warm in my heart.
