Leedle the Beedle

sheds a single tear

every august 18th my notifications break and i go, fuck, tumblr has failed me once again, but it hasn’t. it hasn’t failed me. it’s just the taking the hobbits to isengard-iversary. happy 12 years

what’s the punchline here

wait

Kinda fucked up and nasty how vampires drink blood, imo. Like. Pepsi costs a dollar seventy five

Why in God's name would a vampire drink pepsi

Why would anyone drink Pepsi?

am I having a stroke????

you might want to go to the hospital then

I hear the Pepsi is cheaper there

I love playing planet zoo with my little creatures and giving them Habitat and Enrichment and seeing their happy behaviours. it is my favourite thing about pet-owning. I will give my isopods a million apple slices and my old ass cats a million shelves to roll around on, and this will continue forever

Until death, all defeat is psychological.

they're called "bootlickers" because when there's a boot stomping on their neck they lean forward to kiss it

as soon as i clicked post i realized damn that's such an evocatively erotic description, i should be using this sort of language about noble kinksters, not wasting it on class traitors

that's the beta testing stage

Unless you were a tech at NASA back in the day, when one time some hydrogen a) escaped in a particular building, and b) caught on fire. This was extremely difficult because hydrogen does NOT burn on the visible spectrum humans evolved to see (and flee). Rather, it technically does, but it’s so pale that in practice, no one could see it. Additionally, pure hydrogen burns without smoke and with so little ambient heat that you can’t really sense it till you walk into it. So, per the lore, for a few days all the techs in that building just walked around brandishing brooms in front of them like lances. If your broom lit on fire, congrats! You have located more burning hydrogen! Do not proceed!

gonna be honest i don’t know how many more ‘enter the 6 digit code we sent to your phone’s i got left in me