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“You know damn well that sex isn’t ever enough for you. You want a brilliant mind that you can stimulate, but that you can also honestly look up to.”

“Sometimes you pour your heart out and nothing comes back. Sometimes you pour your heart out and the world falls onto your lap. Keep trying.”

“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.” - Anaïs Nin

There’s a lot of compelling research being done lately about how the way we grew up affects our behavior as adults. Studies have linked childhood trauma, for example, to increased levels of alcoholism and depression in adults.

“Some days, it feels like I am alright, that everything around me is still intact. Other days, it feels like I am barely getting by, that I have to crawl just to catch my breath. Some days, I feel a little more alive. But most of the days, I am barely breathing.”

Have you had your heart broken?

““How long would it take?” I turned to her as the sound of her voice filled the silence between us. “How long would it take?” She repeated herself, “To let someone go, to not feel the pain across your chest when you think of them?” “It will take a while,” I answered eventually, crossing my legs, “Maybe days or months or even years,” I continued, “But it will happen eventually.” She let out a sigh and closed her eyes for a short moment. “What if I just can’t let go?” She said in a quiet voice, “If that’s how it will be for me, then how am I going to live like that? Just how?””

“friends can break your heart too and sometimes they don’t even realise they are doing it. everyone says that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference and that’s what really get me. because we never really fought or hated each other, we just let time and life get between us and there is not a reason why for this distance. and that’s what hurts me the most: not knowing if it’s real or all in my head.”

If you ever cared about me, I want you to know that I still care about you. Maybe not in the ‘I’m going to call you up and trying to pull you back into my life’ kinda way but more in a ‘sometimes something reminds me of you and I smile and hope you’re incredibly happy now’ kinda way. Because you confided in me once. You let me hold onto all these secrets and memories. At one point, I was part of your world, one of the first people you thought of when someone mentioned friends. So I hope you’re doing well whether we meet again or not.

I want to know what you’re all about, what flaws you try so hard to mask. What thoughts keep you up at night or stay hidden in the darkest corners of your mind. I want to know what excites you most about life, is it the way the sun lights up the sky by day and the way the moon lights up the sky by night. What insecurities or imperfections bother you most because the world says you should look or be a certain way. I want to know all the things you try so hard to hide because I want you to know I will love everything about you even the things you don’t.

We all have a certain story that we do not share out loud because we are afraid that nostalgia will come in series of waves and drown us. We all know a certain name that we rarely mention anymore because it leaves a bitter taste in our tongue yet makes our heart skips a beat. We all know a familiar voice that is slowly fleeting into oblivion but we always hear it when their favorite song plays on the radio. Lastly, we all know a familiar face that we desperately hoped we will see every morning when we wake up but is now a part of the group of faces that we once knew and trying to forget. Although it is hard and painful for me to admit, mine happens to be you.