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Jasper’s jaw clenched as he listened to Alek and he furrowed his brow.  For a few seconds, he just sat there, staring at him.  He opened his mouth to answer but then shut it again, rubbing his eye with the heel of his hand before he finally had an idea of what he was going to say.  “Fine.  Fine.  I know that you don’t have any control over what another person feels and it always sucks when it’s one-sided, no matter how you look at it.  But she’s been in bed for days on end, Alek.  Miserable, unmoving, and it’s all because of you.  You didn’t think her worth it to stay and, I don’t know, work things out?  All she did was tell you how she was feeling.  It’s not like she threatened you into proposing to her and pledging your undying love on the spot, Alek. You made her feel like shit for something she couldn’t help.  I think the word she used was ‘disposable.’  You’re always telling me how I need to take responsibility for the stupid things I do, right?  So I need you to take responsibility for the fact that you made her feel like a throwaway, and like she isn’t special.  Does that feel good to you?”  Jasper was struggling not to raise his voice, feeling his blood start to boil under his skin.  In honesty, he didn’t know where half of the things he was saying were coming from.

“you weren’t there,” alek replied, his voice low and even in a way that made it obvious that he was feeling anything but calm. “i did not at any point tell her that she was disposable. i told her that our physical relationship didn’t mean anything, i told her that she was my friend, nothing more. i apologised to her because i couldn’t tell her what she wanted to hear, because i knew i was hurting her by not returning her feelings. do you know when i got mad? it was when i told her i didn’t think that we should see each other for a little while, because i wanted to give her time to process things. and do you know what she said? she said, if that’s what you want.” alek paused, exhaling shortly through his nose at the memory. “contrary to popular belief, i’m not completely heartless. she’s my friend, and even if i don’t love her like that, i do love her and i do want to spend time with her. but i also care about her enough to not selfishly continue to see her, to be a walking reminder of what she couldn’t have. and then she told me to get out, so i did.” the whole time he was speaking, alek moved closer to jasper, crowding into his personal space, practically begging for a fight. of course it pained him to hear the state that chloe was in, and even though he blamed himself, the fact that jasper – who he had considered one of his closest friends – seemed to think the worst of him only made alek angry. “i doubt anything i say is going to make a difference, since you seem pretty determined to pin me down as the bad guy here. so i suggest you just hit me now and get the fuck out.”

she wanted so desperately to ignore the text, but her brain wouldn’t let her. she kept wanting to go back and read it over and over again, but that wouldn’t help her move on. instead, she flashed him a tight-lipped smile and entered the apartment. it almost didn’t feel real, being in his presence again. “is this where we’re working?” she asked softly, tapping her fingers on the dining room table. she set her notebook down, immediately flipping to the page with the lyrics on it. luckily, her handwriting was atrocious but the title of the song at the top could be read clear as day. “don’t worry about it,” she muttered, shrugging. “my place doesn’t look much better,” she added, opting to keep out the reason for her lack of cleaning recently.

“All I gathered from this conversation is that you do, in fact, like something about me because I’m so great. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m basically a literal ball of sunshine,” she smirked back, knowing full well that neither she nor anyone else thought of her in that way. “Cut it out with the full name shit, Alex. I know where you live.” Dani threw out the empty threat casually, knowing that Alek probably wouldn’t think anything of it. In fact, it baffled her that nothing seemed to phase him, ever. While she took everything too personally, he didn’t seem to care enough. Knowing that he knew her so well annoyed her even more. Since when was she the kind of person who could easily be read like a book? “You know, you can just have him. Who am I to stand in the way of true love? I can’t compete with you anyway.” Dani instinctively took a small step back as he moved closer, his sudden presence in her space feeling unexpected and strange. Her face scrunched up in disgust at his words, and she immediately spit out the cookie that she had been eating. “You’re disgusting! I don’t know what kind of unsanitary, gross, boy germs you have,” she said before stepping closer and wiping her lips on his sleeve in retaliation. “I’m telling your mom. I don’t know how an angel like that ever gave birth to a demon child like you,” Dani whined as she stuck her tongue out at him, simultaneously scrolling through the contact list on her phone to find his mother’s number. 

“right, right, you’re basically the cindy lou to my grinch,” he retorted, rolling his eyes. come to think of it, that was quite an apt comparison if the roles were switched. no matter how hard she tried to get rid of him – and she’d sort of grown resigned to his presence, but alek remembered a time when she had been serious about trying to make him leave her alone – alek never budged. in fact, he had a feeling the only reason he stuck around with the abuse for so long was precisely because keeping her from getting her way was more important to him than self-preservation. “you planning to come and kill me in my sleep? choke me, maybe?” his grin turned sly as he winked at her, the innuendo behind his words clear as day. “i’m glad you know that you’re no match for me, but it’s no fun trying to seduce someone with no other suitors. it’s like winning by default, and that’s not satisfying at all. maybe someday though, greasy joe,” he ended off dramatically, blowing a kiss in the direction of rosie’s, despite the fact that the diner was at least four blocks away. alek grinned as she spat the cookie out, pleased that he’d managed to elicit such a reaction from her, and barely even flinched as she wiped her mouth on his sleeve. “uh, i have the face of an angel, you can clearly tell that i’m her child. but sure, call her,” he egged her on, snatching the rest of the uneaten cookie from her and taking a bite. “you might get told off for not calling her sooner though, she’s been complaining that you’ve forgotten about her.”

Although he hadn’t been planning on hitting him, Jasper scowled as Alek leaned forward and the urge to wipe the expression off his face intensified.  You’re only feeling this because he did it to Chlo, Jasper told himself as he forced himself to breathe, he’s one of your best friends.  Silently, Jasper followed Alek through the door to the room and waited for the door to close before he spoke again.  “Well, you’re not inherently an asshole,” he shrugged, “but what you did to Chloe was a bullshit thing to do, so I want some answers.  First of all, why?” 

for some reason, it was strangely satisfying to watch the scowl bloom on jasper’s face. maybe because he knew the talk that was soon to follow would involve being probed about his feelings, and alek would honestly rather start a fight than do that. but jasper was his friend, one of his best friends even. alek had already ruined a good friendship due to his inability to process his own damn feelings, and if he kept on at this rate, he’d be lucky if he had any friends left at all. so he forced himself to take a deep breath, holding onto those last shreds of self-restraint and holding himself back from baiting jasper into hitting him. “that’s not a very specific question,” he pointed out before sighing. “listen, there’s no way to tell someone that you don’t feel the same way after they tell you that they’re in love with you without hurting them. was i more of a dick than i needed to be? absolutely. but she knew what she was getting into when she got involved with me. and i know that people can hardly be held accountable for their feelings, but she went and did the one thing i told her not to do, and i just wish she’d told me earlier, when she first started, i don’t know, catching feelings. maybe things would have been less messy.”

“you bet your ass i will. i’ll fight anyone who wants to date you. i think i have, if i’m remembering right. y’know, that one new years when we all got a little too drunk and that girl of yours got mouthy? she was feisty.” she chuckled at the memory. “are you serious? that’s crazy! like, seriously crazy. that girl must have had some serious trust issues.” she shuddered at the thought of that scenario. “you really don’t want to ever date?” she asked curiously, peering up at him. “can’t you imagine settling down one day? or having kids? i can. i think of it all the time, if i’m being honest. obviously i won’t be ready for a while now, but getting the opportunity to be a better parent than i grew up with was really exciting.” she hummed contently as his hands massaged her temples, “i’m okay. thank you, though.” she muttered in return. “i don’t think i’ll puke. at least i hope not.”

“oh god, i can’t believe i forgot about that!” he laughed as well, shaking his head lightly as if admonishing her actions, although the smile that he wore had an edge of pride to it. “i can’t believe she thought i would take her side. as if i would have anyone else’s back but yours. and yeah, i did, in fact, get slapped. but actually i was under the impression that it was out of righteous anger for your sake. like, she thought i was cheating on you. kind of made me like her more, but i’ve never spoken to her since so i guess i’ll just pine forever,” he joked, before frowning slightly as nora mentioned settling down and having kids. alek was very much the sort of person who preferred living in the moment and seeing where it took him, and he had never thought far enough into the future to consider marriage and kids. but of course now that she’d brought it up, for the briefest of moments he envisioned a future where he settled down with nora and had kids with her, and then almost laughed out loud. his mother would probably love that version of the future, but alek wasn’t sure he felt the same way. “god, i don’t know. not for the next twenty years at least,” he answered, shrugging lightly. “i’m barely in my twenties, i feel like i have my whole life ahead of me, and i know it’s not mutually exclusive, i know i can date someone and still have a life. but it’s just… oh god i’m going to sound like a real fuckboy, but it just feels like i’m missing out if i just limit myself to one person, y’know? life’s too short to not fuck all the people you wanna fuck, or something like that.” his face scrunched up lightly. it wasn’t a secret that he got around, but admitting that he didn’t want to date because he enjoyed sleeping around too much sounded bad even to his own ears.