settle - hollanov - @hollanovmicrofic - word count: 434 - click here for my hollanov microfic archive on ao3
"Do you think your younger self would be surprised? If he saw you now?"
Ilya frowns at the question, tilting his head to the side.
It's certainly not the first time he's been asked this. It's something that's been posed to him a thousand times, ever since he'd been drafted to the MLH. 'Did you ever think you'd get this far? What would you tell your younger self? How does it feel for all of your dreams to come true?'
But up until recently, his feelings have always been the same: honestly, he isn't surprised at all. Not really.
He's always known he was good at hockey. That he'd make a career out of it and be one of the best. That part was a certainty. It wasn't just because he was good, but because his father had demanded it be so. He'd never had a choice, really.
But everything else...love, family, a sense of home. Those were the things he'd wondered if he'd ever have. The things he'd fantasized about and figured weren't in the cards for him. The things he was desperately jealous of, when he saw other people flash them around with ease.
So now, as he sits in front of a reporter, a wedding ring on his finger and his husband next to him in the same jersey colors, he can't help but tear up at a question he's been asked so many times before. "Uh, yes," he says honestly. "But...not because of hockey. Even when I was young, I knew I was the best."
Shane scoffs next to him, and the reporter smiles pleasantly.
Ilya takes a second to collect his thoughts. "Is…everything else. Um. Small Ilya would not believe it was possible. To settle down. To marry someone perfect as Shane. To be so happy. So...maybe not surprised, but...hopeful. Younger self would be much more hopeful. If he knew. Would not feel so…sad." He sniffs a little, trying to keep his face stoic. It's something he's worked with Galina on: he wants to be more honest in interviews, to be a better role model to the kids out there that he knows look up to him. But fuck, it's terrifying, to share his emotions like this.
But the light kick to his foot under the table reminds him that he is loved; makes him relax.
And when the reporter moves on to Troy, asking him something Ilya doesn't even register, Shane leans to the side and mumbles in his ear. "I’m riding you so fucking hard tonight," it makes it so fucking worth it.