The Lazarus Blog

This passage, written by Paul, was recently discussed at our Saturday night service at The Lazarus Machine. In it, the main topic was of Paul's proclamation of being unashamed of the gospel and for the reasons he mentions after. And something became very clear. We can all admit that there is sickness within the church as a whole when it comes to being ashamed of the gospel.

Sure, when we are among each other, other Christ followers, we are bold and celebrate the good news of the gospel and what comes with it. But when out in the world, at our jobs, our schools, with our friends and loved ones that do not know Christ, with unsaved strangers even, are we just as unabashed?

Looking around I don't know if that is the case. Even looking internally I think we can all find a time where we were more timid than we should have been or perhaps brushed past the news of the gospel instead of proclaiming and celebrating it's impact and significance to the person you were engaged in conversation with.

Now, I type this out not to condemn but to push and encourage. Are you living an unashamed life? Are you a boldly proclaiming the gospels' good news in love at every opportunity? Are you embracing a chance to discuss beliefs rather than becoming timid falling to our societies training of us not to offend at all costs?

I want to live everyday like Paul in the way that he walked boldly and shared, discussed, and petitioned for the case for Christ. Not just an encourager to the saved, but a light of hope for those who were not. Yes, I would very much like to live like that more and more everyday.

So, please be encouraged! Accept a challenge for today or tomorrow. Be bold when it comes to the gospel, and represent it as the amazing gift you believe it to be!

Love and Blessings,

This short movie kind of just happened out of nowhere. I was trying to think of what I could possibly do for this weeks blog topic. David Miller was staying over one night, and I just randomly asked if he wanted to put some dark clothes on and go film something with me real quick. This was born from that random moment.

One of my old hobbies when I was 7 was collecting worms. I remember thinking that I was saving them from being trampled by people and that they would have happier lives in one of my drawers. My Mom didn't approve of my vision. BUT she did approve of videotaping the aftermath! Enjoy the gander!

-Arica

This week we present the two minute video challenge! Instead of a discussion we are all putting up a video of at least two minutes that we shot ourselves. 

Originally we were going to put this announcement in video form, as would be fitting, but alas all the film taken to do so was mysteriously without sound like it was the 1920's.

FILM IS HARD.

FEARS EEEHH?!

My greatest of fears are both recent realizations. The first I’ve known for a little longer, but only recently have I identified it as an actual “fear” rather than just a caution. Winged creatures with exoskeletons, the buzz and shimmer of fleeting specks; the kind that may or may not descend into any crevice of the human body. This apprehension of flying insects is rooted with what I believe to be logic, though I also consider my fear to have developed passed logic just barely into the “irrational” state. The logic I speak of is the fact that I have never been stung by a bee, and being unaware if I am allergic or not. Though this may sound like a fortune reserved for a select few, it has caused my constant avoidance of the yellow beast. Avoidance, as I have come to know, often breeds distance, and distancing one’s self from something usually brings ignorance on that given thing; ignorance is one of the key features of fear. Once I closed my existence to bees, my childish preconceptions of them being adorably blood thirsty shaped into an adult recognizing them as being something to stay far away from. My feelings on bees are not extremely obvious. To the onlooker, the most extreme thing you’ll see me do is a small dance if one gets anywhere near me. Friends still laugh at me from time to time, those fortunate enough to have been stung! The fear has definitely spread a bit, as I am also a little less (but not much) afraid of any bug with see-through wings (save flies, most of the time), and I can not attribute this to anything other than my lack of past with a bee sting. In the end, I understand it would be quite beneficial for me to get tested for the allergy, or at LEAST carry an EpiPen on hikes just incase, but I don’t and life moves on. The second fear I mentioned is a much more recent realization. Snoring, on several occasions, has become the bane of my happiness. As a child, I could sleep wherever and whenever I pleased, regardless of almost any circumstance. Reaching the age of about 17, something happened in me that gave me a bit more trouble falling asleep all of the time. I stayed up all night with my friend Elliott (as was normal in these ancient times) and was attempting to fall asleep the next night. I dozed off, and then BAM! Someone woke me up. I tried to fall asleep, but then remember somehow asking myself the horrible question of, “what if I can’t fall asleep?” This question kept me up all night and lead to me taking my first sleeping pills and testing their strength by standing and trying to sleep while Kyle and Elliott watched a strange movie. What does all of this have to do with snoring?

Well, that question mentioned above: “what if I can’t fall asleep?” is what has to do with it. From that time on, several nights of my life include that question, and so long as I have enough, noise, hum, or quiet about me to allow my brain to scream me to sleep, I have no problem drowning it out. It’s things like snoring that drive me to set and rise like the sun: hiding myself for a bit but burning with consciousness through the night. The first snores I hear while nestling into the softness of my mental abyss, is probably similar to the feeling many get when they hear tsunami warnings. Even plugging headphones in, if I can hear even the faintest whisper of the snore marauding outside I will focus on it until it’s louder than my soothing music.

    My biggest fear, which seems to be a very common one, is being stuck in the middle of the ocean. But not only just being stuck, if i were to look down while i was stranded in the middle of the ocean without a boat or some other floatation device, there would be a giant shadow of a whale beneath me. Or sharks I guess. I’m more afraid of whales because of how large they are. If I think about this situation that is, almost completely impossible, too much I can almost give myself a panic attack. Which is pretty insane. But I think getting mugged is a close second. So is being in the woods alone at night. And spiders! 

I’m afraid of all sorts of things! Some more dramatic and BIG than others. Things like the future, not amounting to something, or being stuck. Unfortunately, I won’t be talking about any of those things! Something much more light hearted, but just as scary, in a different way, is todays topic at hand.

This something has recently come back to haunt me. Over the years I’ve been able to reduce this fear a considerable amount. A picture sent by me from James Miller last Saturday night freaked the crap out of me. Here. This is it:

See that thing! That was found at James’ house! Which means it could be at my house!

I’m sort of kind of slightly terrified of these 8 legged creatures called Spiders. Its a weird relationship I have with them. Especially the past couple years. I’m not so terrified of tiny spiders. I also find them very interesting. I enjoy looking at them if I feel I’m in a safe environment. I freak if they are in my room or spook me. I even made a list of spider rules. I didn’t like just killing them randomly. I felt we needed a set of rules. Rules that if they break, I then have the right to sentence them to death. Here are the rules:

Rule 1: If I catch you in my room I have the right to destroy you.

Rule 2: If you surprise me I have the right to destroy you.

Rule 3: Don’t crawl on me.

Rule 4: Stay out of my room.

Rule 5: If I happen to spot you without being surprised I’ll let you live as long as I feel like letting you live.

Thats pretty fair right? I think so. Weirdly strange, ever since I posted these rules on my tumblr a year ago, I really haven’t had many spiders in my room. Its almost like they follow me on Tumblr… that’s creepy.

So spiders terrify me.

I have a lot of fears! Like a bunch of yellow jackets attacking me or being in a car that’s pushed off a bridge over water, or feeling like I’m yelling as loud as I can but no sound is made!!

That last one about no sound from yelling was my biggest fear until I thought of my new fear just now.. which is being trapped in something like blankets and not being able to move my arms or legs! And no matter how much I try to get out, I’m stuck in it! Blegh! Sick thought!

Now, I’m not scared of being rolled in a blanket or a bed sheet, mind you, but having all my limbs twisted and stuck in a mound of blankets/sheets and I can’t escape from it.It’s happened to me before, too! A couple years ago on 4th of July I had a fever. I heard that fevers go away faster if you sweat them out so I got a whole bunch of blankets and took some medicine. I had a nightmare that I was trapped in a giant USA flag that was like quicksand; the more I tried to wiggle out of it, the more I got trapped. It was terrible! I woke up because I was actually twisting and turning in my blankets and I was super sweaty and couldn’t get out of them!! I did get out of the hoard of blankets though, but it was one my most scary wake-up moments that I still think about from time to time.

So now you know my fear. Please don’t use this information against me and roll me in blankets or obstruct my limbs from freeing themselves!

Oh, fear. Fear is an interesting thing. There are these small, irrational fears that can be something that plagues you your whole life. And then there are these deeper fears, that resinate at your core, and can consume you if you’re not careful.

My small fears are few, but exist. The main one being spiders…I hate spiders. If I could trade spiders for a vastly increased bat and frog population, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to make that deal.

But to really look internally and identify my inner fear, the one that could eat away at me if I let it, I think it would have to be the fear of being alone.

Now let me clarify, though I am an outgoing individual and thrive off social interaction, I also need time alone, to myself, in which I can be an introvert and recharge my batteries. I am not talking about that kind of alone.

The alone I am talking about is the kind outside of my control. I’m talking about being forced to live a lonely life. 

Now this fear isn’t like my fear of spiders, it doesn’t cause a comical and physical reaction. It doesn’t hit like traditional fear. Instead is like an ache. An ache that comes and goes, but when it’s there is tries to skew everything it’s way.

Even though I have fantastic and deep friendships a fear rises up that one day they will become paper thin, or even worse, that they are already becoming that way. Even though I am usually a single dude with optimism and in know rush, I begin to wonder if I’m destined to be a forced bachelor who never loves again. Even though I am mostly transparent and can relate with many on various levels, I begin to fear never relating to anyone again.  

Heck, it will even creep into the day to day, making every unanswered text message seem like a herald of the coming Loneliness Apocalypse.

This, of course, is no way to live. And thankfully I do not live this way most days. Fears like these can not be left unchecked. And they must be opposed on a daily basis. How to do we fight against such a thing? By remembering not just what good we have in our life, right here, right now, but also by remembering that there is a good God who cares deeply for us and has plans to prosper and not to harm.

When we truly believe that, what shall we fear?

To be honest, the first thing I thought of when we got this weeks topic was spiders. I hate ‘em. I always say I wish God hadn’t made spiders, and every time I’ve got a complete moron who hits me with a “whoa, you do NOT wish that, TRUST me. If God didn’t make spiders, do you know how many bugs WOULDN’T be eaten by them? It’d be out of control,” to which I respond, God could have just as easily made a totally awesome, cute bug who eats all those other bugs, and it would be way better. Maybe not according to God, but according to Josh. Since we’re already talking about it, why not have the ladybug do all the spider’s dirty work instead? He could’ve done it, he’s God. When I get to heaven, one of my first questions for the almighty is going to be if spiders were a product of the fall. Did He, in fact, create a villain for mankind, and name it Spider?

You see what I’m dealing with here, I obviously have a huge problem with spiders (not made as obvious is my huge problem with clowns. Another time), but that’s actually not what I want to talk about. “Too late,” you might be saying to yourself? Well, look at it this way, you’re getting two fears for the price of one, you lucky dogs! No, what I want to talk about is different. The way I see it there are variations of fear. There’s fleeting fear, like being startled in the dark, and there’s also those fears that dwell inside you, and just the thought of them shakes you to your core. What really shakes me? What is so frightening to ol’ Josh that the very thought of it makes him shake in his boots?

In a word, drowning. In more words, the ocean, or any other dark, murky water. Don’t get me wrong, I was just at the beach with my family and awesome girlfriend, and I had a blast, that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m not talking about Hawaii or other tropical islands where the water is clear and beautiful either. The kind of water I’m talking about is the kind that if I were submerged, I couldn’t see a scaly lagoon sasquatch a foot from my face. It absolutely terrifies me. What strikes me as odd is that this isn’t something I’ve dealt with my whole life. As a kid I used to think it was fun to swim out a bit at the Oregon coast, or in the murky rivers of this beautiful state. These days I can barely make it up to my knees without the thought of something snagging me, be it a shark, or ocean wave, or God knows what if it’s a river. My imagination can place any and all manner of perilous monstrosity in a river.

Drowning has always been the LAST way I want to go. Right up there with death by lava. The word “helpless” comes to mind, as does “hopeless.” I was at Ripley’s Believe It or Not in Newport, OR with Leslie and my sisters, and we got to an exhibit about The Titanic. A new addition to the exhibit was just a small hole where you could put your hand in a bit of water that was the same temperature as the dark Atlantic water that tragic night. I gotta tell you, there were things about mummy curses, a guy with a horn growing out of his head, even shrunken tribal heads, and the thing that scared me the most was feeling how cold that water was, and placing myself there in the Atlantic Ocean; freezing, and exhausted. Man, it got to me; it was so depressing. Maybe that’s why this is a fear I consider greater than most, because not only does it scare me, it also makes me sad.

I can’t get over a feeling of helplessness that comes over me when I get too deep.

A month ago some swell friends of ours in a band called Such Handsome SIlver recorded a pretty rad cover of a classic hymn. And then they shot a video featuring our very own Kyle and Melody. Check it out and Enjoy.

I will openly admit that this is beyond a ridiculous fear, but its true.  I'm afraid of the ocean….yes the ocean mixed with ocean creatures such as whales, sharks, giant fish!  On land I feel much safer knowing that I am more in control of what is around me, but in the ocean, I feel way out of my element.  I'll admit, I'm not the best swimmer and the idea of creatures swimming around me that can grab onto my ankle at any moment and drag me to the depths of the ocean scares the living day lights out of me.

The sad thing about having this stupid fear is that in 3rd grade our class took a field trip to go whale watching in Seattle.  To any normal kid this was the most exciting thing ever…I was dreading it.  Once on the boat I thought I could conquer my fear and stand out on the edge of the boat and watch the killer whales swim by and jump in the air.  Boy, was I wrong.  As soon as I saw the first fin come out of the water I ran below deck and stayed there for the remainder of the trip.

Don't get me wrong, I think sea/ocean creatures are beautiful and I love the way Killer Whales often interact with people,  I just don't like the idea of being in a boat surrounded by them.

I'm convinced I watched too many Jaws movies growing up.

This week, here at The Lazarus Blog, we will be discussing our greatest fears. 

Fear has so many levels, and so many varieties that it truly is a complex topic. Some of these discussions will make us laugh, some will make us squeamish, and some will take us to the very core of who we are as people.

The first word that comes to my head, is Community. 

A group of people who get together to share their love for jesus.

A huge part of The Lazarus Machine is fellowship. Being a church that believes in togetherness. A church that cares for every single person in our congregation, while also not making any new people not feel alienated. We love people and we want people to love Jesus.

I’ve always had a hard time really fitting into a huge group setting. I’ve never been good with people, and when it comes to groups of people, the difficulty level multiplies by 10. Naturally, going to new churches was always a scary thing for me. I just have a hard time speaking to people, and I still do. I’ve evolved over time, and I’m a little better. A LITTLE BETTER. A big part of that is church. I’m forced to try and get better. The church I went to before The Lazarus Machine worked pretty well with this fear. They made me feel pretty at home from the very beginning. It was the first time I ever felt anything like that coming from a church. That was huge. The youth leader really took his time to know me as a person. Before that had happened, I didn’t know that was ever possible.

When The Lazarus Machine was born, I was super excited to find out that this was going to be a big thing of our identity. (Even though I was terrified at the idea of having to meet new people weekly)

Wait!

Church is Family! This post just evolved! We are a family dancing in the love of christ. No one, of any shape or size, no matter how odd or strange you might be, everybody is allowed to join in on the fun. 

And we wanted to embrace that to the fullest extent possible. 

So while church might be so many things, a really big thing for me is the people who are apart of the church. 

This week we're looking at what church means to us, individually! This is a fun one because I (and I assume the rest of the group) are really gonna have to think hard, and maybe we'll all get a better understanding, or grasp on what our own individual perceptions are, because of it. I rarely sit and think about what church, as a whole, means to me. If you asked me, I could give you an answer, but I'm glad to have a reason to really sit and think about it.

So, church to me. This can almost be a frustrating topic, because I feel I have a clear vision of what it SHOULD be, according what the word of God says, and there's a very clear vision of what it actually is in this day and age. Now, let me get this out there before I go any further, this is all going to be one mans opinion. Some of it is based on The Bible, but I'm human, so some of it will probably be based on that, just my own opinion. I'm not saying that in an apologetic way, I just want it understood!

What church truly is to me, is so easy to define; it's simply people coming together, and joining as a family under our heavenly father, to praise Him. In whatever way that might be; worship, fellowship with brothers and sisters in Christ, getting into the word, listening to God, prayer, the list goes on. All of it, to me, falls under what is ultimately giving glory to God.

And church is not a building, I can't stress that enough, CHURCH IS NOT A BUILDING! Church isn't a place at all; it HAPPENS in a place, of course, but church happens by people coming together under God, to glorify Him. It's very sad to see, in this day and age, people putting their church, or what is actually the place where they have church, on a pedestal. It's sad not only because it's placed over God, but also because it's placed over the rest of the church family. Everyone thinks theirs is the best church, and all other churches aren't as good as they are. In the world today the word "church" could easily be replaced with the word "club." Does that bother you? It should! We as followers of Christ are called The Body of Christ. That's what we're called to be and we, as a whole, are failing on a massive, MASSIVE scale. How many church groups do you see working hand in hand? Or even helping another out in time of need? Maybe a group will help another if there's some mutual gain involved, but how often do you see a group simply bless another, even if they won't gain from it? How often to you hear that the reason one group doesn't help another is because they're part of another denomination? Say you're thirsty, so you get a glass of water. Your vitality, your very life depends on your hand lifting the glass to your lips, but your hand wont lift the water, because your hand does different works than your mouth. Your mouth chews food, and drinks water, while your hand grips and holds things. Your mouth and your hand have nothing in common, so why should your hand feed you? Doesn't make much sense does it... sadly, that's the way church functions these days, if you can even call it functioning. We truly need to get to a place where we see each other as a whole and not individual groups, and it's so sad not to see that happening. It can be very discouraging, to tell you the truth. People start glorifying the traditions of their group, in their building, and God takes a backseat.

That's not to say tradition is bad. Come to Lazarus Machine any given Saturday night, and you'll probably see fellowship, worship, a preached message from God through the pastor, maybe some more worship, and then more fellowship. That is a structure, and make no mistake, it's a tradition; one many churches share. There is absolutely nothing wrong with tradition, but what IS wrong is when the traditions become more important than God, and stifles His movement. It shouldn't be a big surprise to hear that anything that gets in the way of God, is not good. Sadly, many churches today are under tradition rather than under God.