Hmmmmmmm

.

“The proper term is dating, don’t be disgusting,” he said, making a face. The blond let out an amused snort, “Oh, yes, I’m sure my enemies would love to know how much time I spend in the pottery store,” he mused. Scorpius stared at him for a moment before nodding, “Okay,” he said. “Okay, good.” 

Scorpius laughed, “Fine like wine, prettier than a girl, god, it makes me miss Hogwarts sometimes,” he joked. He rolled his eyes, “That’s because I’m not buying him anything like that, Merlin, get your head out of the gutter. I’m not going there period, god only knows what disgusting thing would come out your mouth if I brought anything home,” he mused. The blond scoffed, a smile on his lips, “It takes more than drinks and a shopping trip to get me to lower any guard.”

‘

“I prefer screwing, I don’t like to think about them dating. Now that thought, that’s disgusting.” Layth shuddered a little at the thought but he was going to have to get used to it quickly. “Well they can add it to their lists of where they can find you when the time comes to cross your name off their list.” He held the blonde’s stare, unwavering in his promise that he wouldn’t be planning any attacks on the manor. “Good indeed.”

“What is Jackson not stroking your ego enough? You deserve to be compared to the finest tequila in the world more often Scorpius.” Making a face in the other’s direction Layth just laughed. “You know that you love my jokes Malfoy. If it helps I’m sure all of my jokes would be at the expense of your boyfriend, or Dylan’s boyfriend if it’s a present for him.” His eyebrows raised as he spun around to walk backwards, walking ahead of Scorpius so that they were looking directly at each other. “Is that a challenge? Because you know that we can spend as much time together as you want, just say the word Scorpius.”

“Maybe so,” he mused. Scorpius chuckled, “Ah, yes, that. I imagine they’re going to be real mad at you if they ever heard about this,” he said. “And now that my father is out of Azkaban.” He turned to face the other, biting down on his bottom lip. The usual air of confidence he carried around was missing, “Tell me, do I have to worry about any attacks on the Manor now?” he asked, his tone coming off half teasing but half serious. 

“I’ve never been compared to tequila before,” he said with a laugh. “How…interesting,” he said. He finished his coffee, tossing it onto the garbage they passed. Scorpius rolled his eyes, “‘Exciting gifts?’” he echoed, “I’m not stepping into a sex shop with you, Layth, no matter how much you reword it,” he joked. “You have friends and you care about your mother. Maybe I am learning a bit about you.”

‘

“If Alpheus can screw your sister I think I can help you buy some Christmas gifts. Besides, I can just tell them I’m here on a mission to spy on you - I am learning intimate infrormation after all.” At the mention of Draco, Layth definitely tensed up a little. He tried not to think of the man when he was Scorpius, he was a huge wrench in his plans. “I can promise you that I will not be planning any attacks on the Manor Scorpius, you have my word.”

“Oh I know you’re used to the spoiled kids waxing poetic about how you’re like a fine wine but the reality is you’re better than that, you deserve more creativity.” He answered with a laugh, still nursing his coffee partly for the warmth the cup was still giving his hands. “You can’t tease me with intimate gifts for Parkinson and then not take me with you. That’s rude Scorpius. I’m a man of many layers though, perhaps if you weren’t so guarded with me all the time you’d see more of them.”

“Well, he has kids so who knows how true that statement is. And I don’t think you have a soul but I do see your point.” Mila raised her eyebrows an amused look on her face. “I didn’t know arson was your thing but I’d be glad to be your alibi.”

“Those kids are the worst, you should hear how much noise they make. Anyone who choses to do that to themselves is definitely lacking in brain activity you’re right. Wait a minute Nott, don’t go dragging me like that. My soul is flourishing.” He just shrugged. “A little bit of arson every now and again is fun, keeps the spirits high right.”

Alpheus looked up at Layth, chewing on his bottom lip. HE hated what he was about to admit, but he felt so alone without Alma being there for him when it came to Cassie “I…I really just need your support Layth.” He sighed, running his hands through his hair.

It was almost awkward for Layth to hear those words, they didn’t do sentimental values like this and he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to do next. “Alpheus, even when the inevitable time comes where you decided to stab me in the chest you will always have my support. I’m afraid you’re stuck with me, no matter what happens. Do you want to... I don’t know what to do now, do you want to get a drink or something? We’re not going to hug are we or is that what you need?” Layth internally pleading that they weren’t suddenly about to become the hugging type.

A smirk spread across Scorp’s lips, “Someone knows me a little too well,” he said. He let out an amused snort at the other’s words, “Well, I’ve never seen them. So until I do, I’m not sure I can believe you,” he said in a haughty tone. The blond felt the tips of his ears getting red at Layth’s words, but he blamed it on the cold. Because it was definitely the cold. “Wha…what are you even saying?” The blond faced away, shielding Layth from the redness that was forming on his cheeks. “Are you trying to piss me off?” He scoffed. “Oh my god,” he groaned. “Just for that, I’m forcing you to come to the perfume shop. We’re going to look for something for my grandmother on my mother’s side. She loves smelly perfumes.” He turned back to look at the other, “I hope you have a strong stomach.”

“It’s like we know each other better than you’re willing to admit. And you haven’t seen any of my friends because they don’t like you, the whole your family are traitors thing remember?” The reaction his words got from Scorpius was delicious, the small splashes of red that were growing on his face causing him to smile even more. “I’m saying that that spending time with Scorpius without the sass would be like tequila with no lime. Nice enough but not the best experience you know.” Rolling his eyes again at the question, deciding to just ignore it as to not give the other an excuse to get annoyed at him. “The perfume shop? Oh Merlin I hate this already but lets go, the quicker we get this grandma perfume the quicker we get to the exciting gifts. I might even see if they have the perfume my mum likes. You know the one, the smelly one.”

“You need to let it go because I love her.” Alpheus shot back defensively. He was tired of defending his relationship, he’d been doing it with his family the whole time he was in France. “Whats been going on? My mother is sick and my family hates my girlfriend. Alma and i aren’t even speaking.”

Layth’s initial instinct was to laugh but he knew better than that, Alpheus was probably his closest friend and despite himself he did care about the idiot and his terrible choices. Really who was he to judge. “You know that I will have your back Alpheus but I will be doing that while making jokes because it’s who I am. Fuck them. Well not your mother, or Alma. That will work out, leave it with me. Do you need me to do anything? Serious Layth asking.”

Alastor shrugged, “I’m just saying, it would make life much more easier,” he said. “All this political bullshit can be so tedious,” he frowned, resting his chin on his hand. A grin spread across Alastor’s lips, “You’d kill a mother of two? Now that’s evil. I like it,” he chuckled. “I’m afraid that would only make their person of interest look guilty. I mean, they’ve been after poor Zabini for a while now. If she ended up dead, fingers would be pointed at him.”

“Other than him being the absolute worst does he really make our lives that difficult? Well he might now that he’s somehow gotten out, you really need to get better at framing people Alastor.” Layth just rolled his eyes, people have babies and you need to be nice to them suddenly. “If you want my honest opinion we could take out three birds with one stone there. We could finish the Bloem saga and get rid of both Zabini and Malfoy if we played our cards right.  All wins in my eyes. First you need to get better at framing people though.”

Mila grabbed the prophet once he set it down on the table and gave it a quick glance over, “I feel like all of the Weasley seeds would have some sort of parental issue. There’s too many of them.” She said in a bored tone then took a sip of her coffee. “Maybe he suspects a pay raise…or whatever.”

“At least Reese seemed to get some brains, that can’t be said for the rest of them but the fact he continues to use them in the worst way is upsetting to my soul... If I have one.” Layth sighed as he watched her look at the paper. “I swear if he gets a pay rise and I’m still only his intern I’ll burn the office to the ground with him inside it. Be prepared to be my alibi alright.”

“Fuck off. I’m serious.” Alpheus wasn’t amused by his friends usual banter. “Lay, either be serious or fuck off because frankly I’m still cross with you and every word out of your mouth has me closer to putting my fist in it.”

“So I see you weren’t away finding a personality when you were gone.” Layth sighed, rolling his eyes. “You need to let that go Alpheus, she’s the worst but you’ve spent a life making bad life choices whey is this one the sticking post that I need to let go. But if we’re being serious why don’t you tell me what I’ve missed. Like, what’s been going on with you?”

“I meant in terms of the DE. I don’t need details on your personal life. Since you didn’t  approve of my personal affairs i don’t really care about yours.”

“Oh that, we voted you out because you left me behind and I got petty and demanded that we do it. I can’t tell you the secrets from the secret club anymore I’m afraid.” Layth just shrugged, laughing a little. “Oh Alpheus you know that I care about your personal affairs, I may not approve of them but I care. We’re friends and if I’m going to judge your choices I need to at least know about them. But anyway, back to me. Do you want to go through my diary backwards day by day. Or shall I jump back a while and we can work forward to the present?”

“Yeah, my apologies for not taking time yesterday during that clusterfuck to credit you for something I’ve been working on longer than you’ve been with me. I guess my - what was it? My daddy issues got in the way.” Reese looked at him, fully aware he hadn’t been talking to him. He raised his coffee cup in mock toast. “Thanks for bringing that to my attention, too. First I’ve ever heard of me having them.”

“Don’t you have kids? Shouldn’t you be an expert at multi-tasking by now? Honestly Weasley you can say that you’ve been working on it longer than I’ve been here but we both know that without me you’d still be running in circles. Correction, I said you have daddy issues but I wasn’t aware that you were also a glory hog. They were two different problems that you’re dealing with.” Layth raised his own cup to match Reese’s. “It’s my pleasure, I’ve noticed that you’re a man of many, many problems while working with you and I can’t wait to see more as we continue our wonderful relationship.”

“Hm,” Alastor hummed. The news breaking of Malfoy getting out of Azkaban was giving him the biggest headache. Alastor leaned forward, resting his elbows on Oscar’s desk. “I say we should just kill him.”

“Our plan is to kill everyone maybe we need to try something a little bit different this time, it’s not exactly going how we plan most of the time is it.” Layth sighed. “We could kill Bloom for real this time now he’s out. The timing would be perfect for him to look guilty don’t you think?

Scorpius let out an amused snort, “But then I would have to lug your dead body around and that’s just not feasible,” he said. The blond rolled his eyes, sipping his drink. “I’m already given you the gift of my presence with a minimal amount of sass. Isn’t that enough?” He peered at his list, the names of a couple of his coworkers were crossed out. The blond rolled his eyes at the Jackson comment. He scoffed, “As if I were to share something that intimate with you,” he said.

“Oh please we both know that you are much smarter than that. It would be slow working, I wouldn’t die until I was back home and alone. In the hopes that no one would find me but then you’d be disappointed to find out I have friends.” Mimicking Scorpius, Layth rolled his eyes. “Who said I didn’t like the sass? We both know that I never have enough Scorpius, I’m greedy like that. Intimate? You’re buying Dylan something intimate? Okay so we’re definitely doing that. I can’t wait to see what type of sex toys you buy him.”

“One hot mocha for you and one iced coffee for me,” he said, handing the other their drink. “Don’t look at me crazy, okay, I like my coffee cold,” he huffed. “Now, what’s next on our list?”

“Your gay with an ice cold heart, I’m not surprised that you’re drinking iced coffee. I’m trying to judge if you’ve put some poison in my mocha or something.” Oscar was still surprised that Scorpius hadn’t sent him away when their paths had crossed earlier, the fact it had snowballed into them on a joint shopping trip definitely made him happier than he was would ever admit but if Scorpius had been even slightly self aware he might have noticed the fact the smile hadn’t left his face the full time. “Our list? This list is entirely yours, I don’t condone you buying presents for any of these people and I’m noticing a glaring lack of my name. But next is, well we’re skipping over Jackson, so next is Dylan.”

“So…what’d I miss?”

“That’s the age old question isn’t it Carrow. Do you want to be a little bit more specific or shall I just start giving you a day by day run through of my diary? I live a really quite riveting life so you’d be in for a treat.”

Scorpius scoffed, “You sacrifice your dignity a lot then, don’t you?” he said, eyebrow raised. “Oh, and I suppose you want me to thank you. I thought we didn’t do the whole manners thing.” When the bartender came back, pushing their glasses toward them, Scorpius took his before glancing over to the other. “Ha, ha, ha, you’re so funny,” he said, rolling his eyes. “You don’t seek me out for my sparkling personality, so I thought maybe it was for another reason. And, no. Disappointed you won’t be having a dick measuring contest?” 

-

“There’s not much of it left but I guess I’ve decided it’s worth the sacrifice.” He shrugged, playing it off nonchalantly. “I know your father is the literal worst but I was brought up correctly and I was taught to say please and thank you - everyone didn’t just have to do as I said because I clicked my fingers.” Oscar knew that every time he spoke to Scorpius he presented him with a different set of goalposts but that was part of his fun, unpredictability. “Well at least you are aware that you don’t have a sparkling personality but I’m here to fill that void for the evening. Scorpius Malfoy we’re in public can you get your mind out of the gutter and stop thinking about my dick - we can discuss that later when there’s no one else around. If the mere sight of Jackson didn’t make my stomach want to empty it’s entire contents I’d say you could judge the contest but I don’t think I can be in the same room as him for that long. But that’s the last of we speak of him tonight, I didn’t come to find you to discuss him.”